“The Ick”

[Notredamn]

I've never spoken about this before because it's so grim but I had to stop seeing someone because the night before he'd come down with a case of 'bad guts' but he still insisted on our date going ahead. Didn't think anything of it, he seemed fine enough. Fast forward to him jumping out of bed to have the loud people in the ensuite bathroom. Then wanting to dive back into sex. That's not the worst bit. He then bolted back into the bathroom and as he shuffled with his a cheeks clutched together back into the bog, I could see remnants of loo roll stuck in there from his last visit. I was too sickened and mortified to tell him the real reason behind ending it so I made something up.
His final flourish was pausing before getting back into bed, smiling grimly and then performing a 'helicopter fool' before beaming at me with pride!

 

[petra23]

I was seeing a guy for a little while, he was a rebound from my ex so not very serious in my eyes. He stayed over my flat one night but I started to get the ick when he took his shoes and socks off in my living room and he had a fungal nail infection he then asked to stay the night as it was an hours drive home, I let him but told him nothing would be happening as I wasn't ready (aka you make me feel ill). I then awoke at 6am to him scrambling about the other side of the bed. He had wet the bed in his sleep and was trying to mop it up with a towel which was actually just sinking it into my mattress. He then asked me to wash his underwear and tshirt whilst I was doing the bedding which would mean him spending another 2 hours hanging about in my flat. I told him it was probably best he just left now as my mum was coming round for breakfast... to which he said 'oh that's okay, I don't mind meeting your mum'. I handed him his undies in a plastic bag and basically forced him out my door, nothing repels you from a bloke like handing them their soiled underwear as they try to arrange another date with you. I wasn't rude to him but did tell him I didn't want to see him again, about 8 months later when out with my boyfriend who I was in the early stages of dating he came over to us and shouted 'I'm the bedwetter' at my bf. He had no idea what he was on about and thought he was deranged..

 

[Chablis1]

I was seeing a guy for a little while, he was a rebound from my ex so not very serious in my eyes. He stayed over my flat one night but I started to get the ick when he took his shoes and socks off in my living room and he had a fungal nail infection he then asked to stay the night as it was an hours drive home, I let him but told him nothing would be happening as I wasn't ready (aka you make me feel ill). I then awoke at 6am to him scrambling about the other side of the bed. He had wet the bed in his sleep and was trying to mop it up with a towel which was actually just sinking it into my mattress. He then asked me to wash his underwear and tshirt whilst I was doing the bedding which would mean him spending another 2 hours hanging about in my flat. I told him it was probably best he just left now as my mum was coming round for breakfast... to which he said 'oh that's okay, I don't mind meeting your mum'. I handed him his undies in a plastic bag and basically forced him out my door, nothing repels you from a bloke like handing them their soiled underwear as they try to arrange another date with you. I wasn't rude to him but did tell him I didn't want to see him again, about 8 months later when out with my boyfriend who I was in the early stages of dating he came over to us and shouted 'I'm the bedwetter' at my bf. He had no idea what he was on about and thought he was deranged..

Oh no! Imagine shouting that out. It’s really made me laugh. Sorry you had to experience all that tho. What a gob.

 

[Notredamn]

I was seeing a guy for a little while, he was a rebound from my ex so not very serious in my eyes. He stayed over my flat one night but I started to get the ick when he took his shoes and socks off in my living room and he had a fungal nail infection he then asked to stay the night as it was an hours drive home, I let him but told him nothing would be happening as I wasn't ready (aka you make me feel ill). I then awoke at 6am to him scrambling about the other side of the bed. He had wet the bed in his sleep and was trying to mop it up with a towel which was actually just sinking it into my mattress. He then asked me to wash his underwear and tshirt whilst I was doing the bedding which would mean him spending another 2 hours hanging about in my flat. I told him it was probably best he just left now as my mum was coming round for breakfast... to which he said 'oh that's okay, I don't mind meeting your mum'. I handed him his undies in a plastic bag and basically forced him out my door, nothing repels you from a bloke like handing them their soiled underwear as they try to arrange another date with you. I wasn't rude to him but did tell him I didn't want to see him again, about 8 months later when out with my boyfriend who I was in the early stages of dating he came over to us and shouted 'I'm the bedwetter' at my bf. He had no idea what he was on about and thought he was deranged..

Kinell
What is it with some (most) men having a complete lack of self awareness and nonchalant attitude towards their own repulsiveness? Must be quite a liberating way to live, not giving one duck about how other people see you though!

 

[petra23]

Kinell
What is it with some (most) men having a complete lack of self awareness and nonchalant attitude towards their own repulsiveness? Must be quite a liberating way to live, not giving one duck about how other people see you though!

Honestly.. the bloke cost me £300 in way of a new mattress and I can't put a price on how much he made me squirm. I reckon they have no concept of shame. I'd probably move to Australia and have a name change had the circumstances been reversed

Oh no! Imagine shouting that out. It’s really made me laugh. Sorry you had to experience all that tho. What a gob.

He was just so completely unaware, he wasn't purposefully rude or nasty, he honestly thought I would just accept it and continue to date him. Sorry hun, just can't

 

[ComeForTheX StayForTheY]

@petra23 how awful!!!!
"oh that's okay, I don't mind meeting your mum" did have me really laughing
I also use the "I'm not ready" line when the Ick has been too much

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I've never spoken about this before because it's so grim but I had to stop seeing someone because the night before he'd come down with a case of 'bad guts' but he still insisted on our date going ahead. Didn't think anything of it, he seemed fine enough. Fast forward to him jumping out of bed to have the loud people in the ensuite bathroom. Then wanting to dive back into sex. That's not the worst bit. He then bolted back into the bathroom and as he shuffled with his a cheeks clutched together back into the bog, I could see remnants of loo roll stuck in there from his last visit. I was too sickened and mortified to tell him the real reason behind ending it so I made something up.
His final flourish was pausing before getting back into bed, smiling grimly and then performing a 'helicopter fool' before beaming at me with pride!

This reminds me of the time my ex came over and had the most foul, continuous and constant farts I have ever had the misfortune to be around. It was every minute or two and the smell lingered the entire time. I was too polite to say anything so we didn’t acknowledge it.. it got to about 2am and I asked him to leave. I rang my mate and we howled laughing as I chucked all the windows open.

 

[aimzalicious]

@Notredamn and @petra23 I read both your stories with my hand over my mouth, I am actually flabbergasted

@petra23 The one who went up to you and your new bf and proudly proclaimed that he was the bed-wetter reminded me of a story my best guy mate told me about my ex. My ex and all our other guy mates were on a night out together. They got offered drugs by some randomer, as you do in the city. My friends refused, but the drug dealer was persistent. Apparently he started to offer them viagra, to which my ex proudly got out his viagra from him jacket pocket (!) and said "don't worry mate, I've already got some " and was so pleased with himself.

Everyone was so confused why he'd shown his fool pills to the world and it still gets brought up to this day

 

[CarrieW24]

@petra23 how awful!!!!
"oh that's okay, I don't mind meeting your mum" did have me really laughing
I also use the "I'm not ready" line when the Ick has been too much

I used to say "I'm on my period" when i'd get the ick at the beginning of a stay over. Last time I ever used it was when one replied: "I like when auntie Flo visits!"

I've never spoken about this before because it's so grim but I had to stop seeing someone because the night before he'd come down with a case of 'bad guts' but he still insisted on our date going ahead. Didn't think anything of it, he seemed fine enough. Fast forward to him jumping out of bed to have the loud people in the ensuite bathroom. Then wanting to dive back into sex. That's not the worst bit. He then bolted back into the bathroom and as he shuffled with his a cheeks clutched together back into the bog, I could see remnants of loo roll stuck in there from his last visit. I was too sickened and mortified to tell him the real reason behind ending it so I made something up.
His final flourish was pausing before getting back into bed, smiling grimly and then performing a 'helicopter fool' before beaming at me with pride!

I can't believe you had to make something up, are men incapable of self reflecting? I would know exactly why I was dumped (and would actually agree with him to dump me) in a situation like that

 

[nobrains]

I was once chatting to a guy on facebook. We got on so well,he was really attentive. A bit annoying using the usual emojis. Anyway..we where gonna meet just casual and he asked about contracption..I said I wasn't on any and he wanted to bag without a condom because he found it "thrilling" I was literally like wow how irresponsible and a huge ick moment for me. Tbh alot about him was icky:

1. Excessive compliments
2. Cringy emojis
3. Didnt understand alot of common phrases like "rain check"
4. I had to explain alot of basic things to him like..we where talking about premature greying and I used "genes" and he didn't know what they where
5. He laid in bed really late everyday
6. Had a fool pic saved to send to all the girls he was talking too..which just says desperate to me.
7. He would add random girls weekly and see which ones would bag him

Like I knew all this and only wanted it as a casual/friendship thing but the potential STD/pregnancy thing put me off. Also couldnt 100% see what he looked like in pics or they where really old,he sent me some new ones. And he was soo weird.

 

[Glamourelle]

I had to explain to quite a dim guy I was talking to what “bane of my life” meant which is ironic because he turned out to be the bleeping bane of mine

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Do these guys not understand that google Exists? Why must we explain everything only to have them mansplain

Also this is all of us

 

[Swipeupyouguys]

The way one my ex's spoke to his parents. He was adopted and an only child so they doted on him but he had an awful attitude towards his parents.
We were getting ready to go out one night and he didnt have a clean shirt so his mum was ironing one for him whilst he was huffing and puffing at her complaining that "you knew I was out tonight so why didn't you do it earlier?"

Sorry but if he were my son I would have wrapped the shirt round his head and booted him into the middle of next week.

Give it time and he'll be addressing you in a similar way.
His poor mother.

Yes I hate skinny men.

Anyone thinner, shorter or more delicate than me is a no no.

@Notredamn and @petra23 I read both your stories with my hand over my mouth, I am actually flabbergasted

@petra23 The one who went up to you and your new bf and proudly proclaimed that he was the bed-wetter reminded me of a story my best guy mate told me about my ex. My ex and all our other guy mates were on a night out together. They got offered drugs by some randomer, as you do in the city. My friends refused, but the drug dealer was persistent. Apparently he started to offer them viagra, to which my ex proudly got out his viagra from him jacket pocket (!) and said "don't worry mate, I've already got some " and was so pleased with himself.

Everyone was so confused why he'd shown his fool pills to the world and it still gets brought up to this day

fool pills! Seriously though if he is young and needs those he should change his diet. His heart will be the next thing that isn't getting blood flowing to it.

My ex husband used to do this. And when he was done down there he declared himself the cat king

That is not a title that one can anoint to oneself! Did he live up to his claims?

 

[wotdidijustwatch]

Give it time and he'll be addressing you in a similar way.
His poor mother.

Its fine he was my ex, i saw the light. He was rotten to his mum. Proper spoilt little tit.

 

[skvallertant]

This thread is making me despair! But the belly laughs are worth a life of celibacy!

I think the quickest I've ever got the ick was when we met up and he was wearing a white leather jacket.

 

[Milehammer]

A long time ago now I was with a guy who kept a flannel under his pillow...a few months down the line I found out he used it during his "alone time" and his mum would wash it and put it back I dumped him immediately and had no regrets.

 

[Curly Top]

I take my hat off to you posters and your ick stories. I am appalled.
They are so funny though. This whole thread is one huge belly laugh.
Thanks everyone.

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

A long time ago now I was with a guy who kept a flannel under his pillow...a few months down the line I found out he used it during his "alone time" and his mum would wash it and put it back I dumped him immediately and had no regrets.

This has to be the almighty winner! I felt vomit in my throat

 

[Jennybee-fabulous]

That is not a title that one can anoint to oneself! Did he live up to his claims?

Unfortunately not. I faked it every time I deserved an Oscar!!

 

[Swipeupyouguys]

Unfortunately not. I faked it every time I deserved an Oscar!!

Oh no - how disappointing!