As well as his oversized, slobbering tongue, Jamie Oliver has dirty fingernails. His cookery programmes give me the boak.
"The Ick" #4
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My ex.Imagining a man decorating a Christmas tree
Each year him and his ‘mummy’ would go out on the same day every single year to pick up his real Christmas tree and then he would spend two days decorating it with his expensive glass baubles.
His wreath got nicked every year
Glad he's your exMy ex.
Each year him and his ‘mummy’ would go out on the same day every single year to pick up his real Christmas tree and then he would spend two days decorating it with his expensive glass baubles.
His wreath got nicked every year
I know, I know...but equality and feminism aside I can't stand seeing a man hoovering.
Ickity ick
Ickity ick
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Plumping cushions. Carefully closing curtains.
Eek. I'm somebody's ick. More the curtains though. Gotta keep the sneaky peekers out
How old was he? I chuckled at his wreath getting pinched and then felt badMy ex.
Each year him and his ‘mummy’ would go out on the same day every single year to pick up his real Christmas tree and then he would spend two days decorating it with his expensive glass baubles.
His wreath got nicked every year
Which wreath? Do you mean one on his mother's grave?My ex.
Each year him and his ‘mummy’ would go out on the same day every single year to pick up his real Christmas tree and then he would spend two days decorating it with his expensive glass baubles.
His wreath got nicked every year
Men using lip balm.
dries me up quicker than one sheet of Plenty
dries me up quicker than one sheet of Plenty
He was definitely planning on cutting me up in small pieces and stuffing me in a suitcase 
Yeah plus he got "know" mixed up with "no" - lucky escape!He was definitely planning on cutting me up in small pieces and stuffing me in a suitcase
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Bio’s like this. He sounds like he’s got short angry man syndrome (he is 5’8” 
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Christ alive! What a charmer! You definitely had a lucky escape with that oneHe was definitely planning on cutting me up in small pieces and stuffing me in a suitcase
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I love reading this type of tinder bio! All them positives you’ve listed about yourself and still nobody wants to date you because you’re a lunatic. And you’re right it’s always men 5’9 and belowBio’s like this. He sounds like he’s got short angry man syndrome (he is 5’8”
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If he’s saying 5”8” you know he’s only 5’4” on his tiptoes.
And he's added his willy size to get the total profile measurement.
Men who wear beaded bracelets.
I remembered an Ick from many moons ago...
It was around 2014 and was at boyfriend of that times place, cooking. I reached into the cupboard for some herbs and spices, of which there were many. All open and ready for use, but in Sainsbury's packaging from the days of yore and dated best before 1998.
It was around 2014 and was at boyfriend of that times place, cooking. I reached into the cupboard for some herbs and spices, of which there were many. All open and ready for use, but in Sainsbury's packaging from the days of yore and dated best before 1998.
When men excited about seeing a fight break out
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