The Frugality #3 content is free, don’t care if it’s drivel, shopping in Sainsbury’s, pretending it’s Lidl

[Exhaustednurse]

Noticed in comments when someone asked for hotel recommendations she said “we stay in an apartment”.

imagine if she’d given the honest answer: “we stay in my parents apartment.... because I come from wealth, that’s how I manage to go on holiday after mat leave and live in an expensive house in London while working part time. Because, dear followers, it’s a lie that you can have what I do while doing what I do without some generational wealth behind you. So don’t feel bad if you’ve not managed to make do and mend your way to a house deposit, because the truth is no amount of supposed frugality could ever get you there. As a self proclaimed crusader for the average woman I’m just putting that out there so as not to perpetuate this harmful myth. The end. Love Frugal Alex”

IMAGINE

I cannot love this post enough, it sums up Alex and all the other instahuns to perfection. It’s all a shame, and it’s essentially gaslighting women.

When this is called out is met by a response of ‘troll’ or ‘be kind’. There is no kindness from these saleswomen that are pretending to be relatable to sell you things.

I am 15 years older than Alex, work full time as does my DH, my kids are now in school and I’m 27 years into my profession so I am paid well. We are now in a position to afford holidays, house renovations and also the odd meal out.
The idea that she achieves all of the above and more in their existing set up is a joke. Even more a joke that the suggests it’s because she meal plans and buys some second hand baby clothes.

So to those women who look to Alex and think why I am not doing all that. Please believe me when I say I’ve been there, and years when they are very young are tough. Your money goes on childcare, you are knackered and feels like there are little rewards for it all. It will get better, it really does once they are in school.
Please don’t be taken in by scammers like Alex.

 

[BlairWaldorf86]

Hear hear to @Exhaustednurse and @Polly Pocket for those posts! Influencers who haven't come from a wealthy background or received family help are few and far between, and Alex definitely isn't one of them. It is 100% insulting how the "frugal" slant of her blog/page has moved from showcasing clothes and accessories at a high street price range rather than designer, to "look what you can afford if you meal plan and do some painting in your house instead of paying someone". Ugh. And there is no way they should be able to afford 2 x nursery fees in north London with the lifestyle they aim to portray.

 

[Chocolate2008]

Hear hear to @Exhaustednurse and @Polly Pocket for those posts! Influencers who haven't come from a wealthy background or received family help are few and far between, and Alex definitely isn't one of them. It is 100% insulting how the "frugal" slant of her blog/page has moved from showcasing clothes and accessories at a high street price range rather than designer, to "look what you can afford if you meal plan and do some painting in your house instead of paying someone". Ugh. And there is no way they should be able to afford 2 x nursery fees in north London with the lifestyle they aim to portray.

I think what distinguishes Alex from other influencers is the fact that her entire online persona portrays her as something that she isn’t.
I think in principle being frugal in a certain way i.e skipping takeaways or some other smaller type luxury to save up for something you really want is a good thing. If she’d left it at that grand. Lots of people do money saving tips well.
But Alex instead says things which are misleading & also seem resentful & possibly delusional at times.
The whole buy us a coffee fiasco. She can buy it out of her advertising revenue for goodness sake. Plus not working much, keeping two kids in nursery & then moaning about not being loaded while living in a large house in London.

 

[Dustye]

I cannot love this post enough, it sums up Alex and all the other instahuns to perfection. It’s all a shame, and it’s essentially gaslighting women.

When this is called out is met by a response of ‘troll’ or ‘be kind’. There is no kindness from these saleswomen that are pretending to be relatable to sell you things.

I am 15 years older than Alex, work full time as does my DH, my kids are now in school and I’m 27 years into my profession so I am paid well. We are now in a position to afford holidays, house renovations and also the odd meal out.
The idea that she achieves all of the above and more in their existing set up is a joke. Even more a joke that the suggests it’s because she meal plans and buys some second hand baby clothes.

So to those women who look to Alex and think why I am not doing all that. Please believe me when I say I’ve been there, and years when they are very young are tough. Your money goes on childcare, you are knackered and feels like there are little rewards for it all. It will get better, it really does once they are in school.
Please don’t be taken in by scammers like Alex.

Thank you for saying this. Before I discovered Tattle I would look up to these mummy influencers and think I was doing it all wrong, because we feel completely broke, spending all our money on childcare, the house a half-finished mess, and with no family help (financial or otherwise). I'd look and feel like tit, then see their feeds and feel ten times worse that I wasn't being 'savvy' enough to afford the lifestyle, outfits, homes and lovely holidays they have. It was only when I realised how many of them have family wealth to fall back on that I felt totally manipulated and that I'd been comparing myself to people with incredible and unattainable privileges.

 

[PineappleQueen19]

It is wild that Alex made frugality her USP because she felt *so* disadvantaged compared to her more wealthy colleagues. Life’s so tough when you’re not the most privileged young person working for a glossy magazine in London

 

[jaymie]

Thank you for saying this. Before I discovered Tattle I would look up to these mummy influencers and think I was doing it all wrong, because we feel completely broke, spending all our money on childcare, the house a half-finished mess, and with no family help (financial or otherwise). I'd look and feel like tit, then see their feeds and feel ten times worse that I wasn't being 'savvy' enough to afford the lifestyle, outfits, homes and lovely holidays they have. It was only when I realised how many of them have family wealth to fall back on that I felt totally manipulated and that I'd been comparing myself to people with incredible and unattainable privileges.

I find reno accounts to be toxic too. I took me a while to understand that most of these people received some kind of help from their family. How do these people afford a 650k house and gut it out and replace it with a massive extension almost immediately.

 

[PastorBake]

It feels like she's distancing herself from the 'frugal' label altogether these days. And probably aiming to be a specialist glasses influencer instead.

Niche

 

[raaraat]

It feels like she's distancing herself from the 'frugal' label altogether these days. And probably aiming to be a specialist glasses influencer instead.

Niche

So funny! Specialist glasses influencer indeed

 

[AutumnDays]

After her post just now, a close of her dinner plate after she’d eaten her dinner is revolting. Who wants or needs to see that? It’s quite apparent that she is totally burnt out and bored with what she does but it pays the bills and allows them both to work part time. Need to provide content to keep up engagement, couldn’t be arsed to even try come up with anything remotely interesting, so here’s my dirty dinner plate.

And then spouts crap about wanting everything in her house, even down to the dish-cloths, to be ’chic’. Nothing ‘chic’ about that.

 

[Exhaustednurse]

Thank you for saying this. Before I discovered Tattle I would look up to these mummy influencers and think I was doing it all wrong, because we feel completely broke, spending all our money on childcare, the house a half-finished mess, and with no family help (financial or otherwise). I'd look and feel like tit, then see their feeds and feel ten times worse that I wasn't being 'savvy' enough to afford the lifestyle, outfits, homes and lovely holidays they have. It was only when I realised how many of them have family wealth to fall back on that I felt totally manipulated and that I'd been comparing myself to people with incredible and unattainable privileges.

This is how they make women feel and it’s so bloody wrong. All this, ‘women supporting women’ crap which is code for ‘don’t you dare call us out on our sales techniques that deliberately focused on making you feel like you are not achieving.

Those years when both of kids were in nursery were so bleak. All of my wage covering childcare costs, the ongoing paradigm of work v home, and very few rewards. I can recall in that period our house needing so much work, we’d not had a holiday in years, and having a takeaway would stretch us! So bloody tough

hang on in there, the money gets easier and personally my opportunities at work grew after I was 40

keep going. You are doing just brilliantly.

 

[VNaylor]

She’s very coy about the ‘apartment’ they’re staying at isn’t she?

Is she a bit dim, or did she actually think it would be relaxing travelling with a baby and a toddler? My two are similar ages to hers, and in no universe would I expect to get a relaxing holiday with them at this age - in a few years when they can entertain themselves a bit more and they’re not at risk of crawling in the sea or running off, then I know that will change.

You’ve all said it so eloquently as well, but the faux frugality is ridiculous now. I always take everything from influencers with a pinch of salt, but she is kind of infuriating.

 

[Libertine]

She’s very coy about the ‘apartment’ they’re staying at isn’t she?

Isn’t it a house that belongs to her parents?

 

[Boutros-Boutros Ghali]

This is how they make women feel and it’s so bloody wrong. All this, ‘women supporting women’ crap which is code for ‘don’t you dare call us out on our sales techniques that deliberately focused on making you feel like you are not achieving.

Those years when both of kids were in nursery were so bleak. All of my wage covering childcare costs, the ongoing paradigm of work v home, and very few rewards. I can recall in that period our house needing so much work, we’d not had a holiday in years, and having a takeaway would stretch us! So bloody tough

hang on in there, the money gets easier and personally my opportunities at work grew after I was 40

keep going. You are doing just brilliantly.

See this is the reality that people need, not the oh I could only afford one of the £50 handmade mugs this month because our double storey extension has stretched us a bit tit that influencers peddle out….there’s a fine line between aspirational and just making normal people feel like tit and Alex has fallen head first into the latter category

 

[Cynic123]

Wish she’d stop bitching about her holiday, ‘oh we’re so tired’, ‘we have to eat at 6pm’ etc. I’d give anything to take my family away on holiday this year, the reality is we just can’t afford the extra costs of testing or potentially isolating when we get home. She should be so grateful for her time away at very limited expensive as she didn’t have to pay for accommodation!

 

[Boutros-Boutros Ghali]

Also isn’t that standard if you have kids? Or if she was that bothered give them something in the apartment and go out and get all the ‘free’ tapas she bangs on about when the pair of cheapskates buy half a beer each. Like you say most people would love to be in her position

 

[freethe40foot1]

She is so odd. It’s like she is always shocked by the concept of having children. She whinged when they went away to the caravan that the kids ruined that because they had the audacity to sleep and now she is annoyed that she had to eat at six and no stay out late and didn’t get to watch her tv series. Expectation versus reality here. She is living in perpetual young adult land.

 

[jaymie]

I think I have to block her eventually, she keeps banging on about glasses. Who cares. I mean tell me which bride would want to wear glasses on their biggest day, unless your eyesight prevents you from wearing one. Most people opt for contacts on their wedding day because THEY HAVE NOTING TO PROVE. Can she join a PTA or something, find herself a more worthy cause

 

[Boutros-Boutros Ghali]

God imagine her on the PTA though, they’d achieve nothing with the amount of procrastinating she does….well maybe get a gallery wall in the corridors but that would probably take her all the years the kids are at school to get it finished….

 

[Harpyharpyunder]

I think I have to block her eventually, she keeps banging on about glasses. Who cares. I mean tell me which bride would want to wear glasses on their biggest day, unless your eyesight prevents you from wearing one. Most people opt for contacts on their wedding day because THEY HAVE NOTING TO PROVE. Can she join a PTA or something, find herself a more worthy cause

The glasses thing is so unbelievably boring. Has she considered AT ALL that glasses aren’t the go to because they reflect back, so can’t be worn on the red carpet etc because of flash photography??? Is she that dim

 

[Pixie06]

These glasses are awful on her (whoever she is) completely slanted across her face!