The Depression Thread

[Underhiseye]

Hi everyone, sorry I haven’t read anyone’s posts yet because I just don’t have anything in me right now but I will. I just wanted to write how I’m feeling.
Had depression for years, probs since I was 12 but only diagonosed at 24 (27 now). This week has been bad. No reason for it, no triggers, just one of them weeks. I’ve spoilered the next bit as it refers to self harm (hope I spoilered it right)

Spoiler: TW self harm

I was at work today just trying to get through the day, went to the toilet for some peace and was looking for anything in there I could hurt myself with, sharp edge, loose screw anything. Hitting stuff doesn’t do anything for me I need a cutting or burning pain. Anyway thankfully there wasn’t anything. Came home, cried in the shower for an hour. Got out the shower and cut, then cried more. I wish there was a way I could end it all without hurting anyone around me. Now I’m just led here mad at myself for hurting myself, and fuming that it’s summer and I’ll have to wear long sleeves for the foreseeable..

Sorry I just wanted to write how I’m feeling. I do have friends I can talk to but I never know what to say.

thanks for making this thread

 

[kachoochoo]

Hi everyone, sorry I haven’t read anyone’s posts yet because I just don’t have anything in me right now but I will. I just wanted to write how I’m feeling.
Had depression for years, probs since I was 12 but only diagonosed at 24 (27 now). This week has been bad. No reason for it, no triggers, just one of them weeks. I’ve spoilered the next bit as it refers to self harm (hope I spoilered it right)

Spoiler: TW self harm

I was at work today just trying to get through the day, went to the toilet for some peace and was looking for anything in there I could hurt myself with, sharp edge, loose screw anything. Hitting stuff doesn’t do anything for me I need a cutting or burning pain. Anyway thankfully there wasn’t anything. Came home, cried in the shower for an hour. Got out the shower and cut, then cried more. I wish there was a way I could end it all without hurting anyone around me. Now I’m just led here mad at myself for hurting myself, and fuming that it’s summer and I’ll have to wear long sleeves for the foreseeable..

Sorry I just wanted to write how I’m feeling. I do have friends I can talk to but I never know what to say.

thanks for making this thread

hey, just want to say that I understand. I've done similar myself. remember that this feeling is temporary and, please, don't do anything irreversible

 

[jarv]

Well I'm back back back again

I've been back at work now for just over a week. It's definitely hard. I'm just doing pure admin atm which is stuff I usually enjoy but every task seems so hard and I'm so slow. I feel useless.

My counsellor thinks I may have returned too quickly. I'm not sure what to do about that.

Depression makes no sense to me. Anxiety was easier in a way because I could pinpoint it and at least I could say I'm worried about x thing so I am going to do y to resolve it. Depression just isn't anything. It's empty. And it keeps smacking me in the face every chance it gets.

I am really hoping this is just a dip but I feel like since going back to work I am declining again.

 

[LittleMy]

I have an awful nail biting habit related to my anxiety and what helps me is keeping my hands busy. A fidget toy helps me a lot (when I haven’t lost the bloody thing).

My worst habit stemming from anxiety is teeth grinding. I mostly do it in my sleep and have to wear a mouth guard to bed, and lately I’ve started to do it when I’m awake as my anxiety has risen due to the pandemic.

 

[Maid22]

I've felt myself spiralling downwards for a while and have tried really hard to keep it together, but am struggling big time today, all I want to do is sleep, and not wake up, I've been there before, along time ago, the meds have helped me, but that feeling is consuming me, fuckin hate this tit.

 

[Libbylulu]

I've felt myself spiralling downwards for a while and have tried really hard to keep it together, but am struggling big time today, all I want to do is sleep, and not wake up, I've been there before, along time ago, the meds have helped me, but that feeling is consuming me, fuckin hate this tit.

Hang in there, you’re right it is tit. Give yourself some time, take it easy and as the old cliche goes ‘this too will pass’. Sending you a huge hug and keep posting to let your feelings out and to let us know how you’re doing xxx

 

[Maid22]

Hang in there, you’re right it is tit. Give yourself some time, take it easy and as the old cliche goes ‘this too will pass’. Sending you a huge hug and keep posting to let your feelings out and to let us know how you’re doing xxx

Thank you so much, your kind words have made me cry, which I don't do very often, i just really hate this feeling, my oh will be home soon, haven't got the energy to say ' everything's ok' like I try to do, he's had years of this with me, just feeling really worthless .

 

[Gem_woody]

I've felt myself spiralling downwards for a while and have tried really hard to keep it together, but am struggling big time today, all I want to do is sleep, and not wake up, I've been there before, along time ago, the meds have helped me, but that feeling is consuming me, fuckin hate this tit.

I know what you mean, I'd love to just sleep forever x

 

[rainbowlemon]

Thank you so much, your kind words have made me cry, which I don't do very often, i just really hate this feeling, my oh will be home soon, haven't got the energy to say ' everything's ok' like I try to do, he's had years of this with me, just feeling really worthless .

You deserve help even if you can't see it for yourself.

For those in crisis this charity also offers support too.

Maytree | We’re open to suicidal feelings

Maytree offer a free 4 night, 5 day stay for adults, with the opportunity to be heard in complete confidence, in a caring, safe environment.

www.maytree.org.uk

I was super bad yesterday and felt very unsafe.

They replied yesterday, checked in with me in the morning and said they'd get someone to call me tomorrow. Way more then I even expected to be honest.

 

[Jmx]

I’m really struggling with a breakup, I can’t eat or sleep and really don’t know how I’m supposed to cope with this. I don’t know if I’m depressed or just anxious but i need to try and speak to a doctor next week.

 

[rainbowlemon]

I’m really struggling with a breakup, I can’t eat or sleep and really don’t know how I’m supposed to cope with this. I don’t know if I’m depressed or just anxious but i need to try and speak to a doctor next week.

One moment at a time. I know it sounds simplistic. Just try to get through the next 1 min and nothing else. I woke up with a anxiety attack this morning.

I'm just focusing on distractions right now which for me is just watching youtube videos one after the other.

 

[Fairypop]

My first time on this thread, I can’t reply to everyone individually but I’m so sorry for all of you having to deal with this, it’s so consuming

After 18 months of suffering (mainly with anxiety but probably mild depression too), I finally called my GP this week. I had a telephone consultation where he basically asked if I was suicidal (I'm not) then recommended me some books to read on coping with anxiety and depression. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, I know there are many people who are suffering even more, but I was really hoping for a little more than that, it’s taken me SO long to admit to myself that I’m not right, I’m struggling and it’s taking its toll now. For perspective, I rarely see my GP - I think I’ve had maybe 4 appointments (for other things) in about 10 years, so I really had to work myself up to call. I was so pleased I finally managed to call and book an appointment and now I guess I just feel deflated.

 

[Jmx]

One moment at a time. I know it sounds simplistic. Just try to get through the next 1 min and nothing else. I woke up with a anxiety attack this morning.

I'm just focusing on distractions right now which for me is just watching youtube videos one after the other.

Thanks, it is so hard I think maybe all that I need is some sleeping pills, the tiredness is making everything worse.

 

[rainbowlemon]

My first time on this thread, I can’t reply to everyone individually but I’m so sorry for all of you having to deal with this, it’s so consuming

After 18 months of suffering (mainly with anxiety but probably mild depression too), I finally called my GP this week. I had a telephone consultation where he basically asked if I was suicidal (I'm not) then recommended me some books to read on coping with anxiety and depression. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, I know there are many people who are suffering even more, but I was really hoping for a little more than that, it’s taken me SO long to admit to myself that I’m not right, I’m struggling and it’s taking its toll now. For perspective, I rarely see my GP - I think I’ve had maybe 4 appointments (for other things) in about 10 years, so I really had to work myself up to call. I was so pleased I finally managed to call and book an appointment and now I guess I just feel deflated.

Pain at the end of the day is pain. I always found the others are struggling more line invaliding of what you're going through.

You can also self refer.

Find an NHS talking therapies services - NHS

www.nhs.uk

If you would like to try antidepressants, bring that up in your next appointment.

*Invalidating

 

[Fairypop]

Pain at the end of the day is pain. I always found the others are struggling more line invaliding of what you're going through.

You can also self refer.

Find an NHS talking therapies services - NHS

www.nhs.uk

If you would like to try antidepressants, bring that up in your next appointment.

*Invalidating

Thanks for your response, I really appreciate it. He did briefly mention self referring but wasn’t terribly helpful about it. He also said medication is unlikely to do anything for me because my anxiety/depression isn’t severe enough… I don’t really know how he judged that over a telephone call less than 5 minutes long. Thank you though! It’s a help just to know I'm not alone. I’ll look at the self referral and see how I go for the next few weeks.

 

[rainbowlemon]

You can always also ask to see another doctor. Lots of people can be on low doses of medication.

 

[Fairypop]

You can always also ask to see another doctor. Lots of people can be on low doses of medication.

I did wonder about asking to see/talk to the advanced nurse practitioner at our surgery. I don’t want to take medication if it really isn’t necessary but I’ve just been trying to cope for so long with other techniques and nothing is really working thank you x

 

[Professor Farnsworth]

I did wonder about asking to see/talk to the advanced nurse practitioner at our surgery. I don’t want to take medication if it really isn’t necessary but I’ve just been trying to cope for so long with other techniques and nothing is really working thank you x

Hi there, newbie to the thread and have a question please. I hear so many people say they won’t/don’t want to take medication for depression. Can I ask why? No judgements, just interested. For me I just know I couldn’t function without it and am not concerned even if I end up on them for life because it is better than the alternative (for me it would be suicide).

 

[Fairypop]

Hi there, newbie to the thread and have a question please. I hear so many people say they won’t/don’t want to take medication for depression. Can I ask why? No judgements, just interested. For me I just know I couldn’t function without it and am not concerned even if I end up on them for life because it is better than the alternative (for me it would be suicide).

Hi! I’m happy to take medication, in fact that’s kind of what I assumed my GP would offer to be honest (maybe alongside some sort of therapy and/or other coping techniques). It was my GP who said they weren’t necessary and wouldn’t make a difference to me, so just going by his judgement really, although he only spoke to me for about five minutes . Maybe my wording wasn’t the best on my original post! I suppose what I mean is I wouldn’t want to take anything that they didn’t think would work or help. I’d absolutely be willing to try medication if my GP (or whatever professional) thought it would help/was necessary!

 

[Professor Farnsworth]

Hi! I’m happy to take medication, in fact that’s kind of what I assumed my GP would offer to be honest (maybe alongside some sort of therapy and/or other coping techniques). It was my GP who said they weren’t necessary and wouldn’t make a difference to me, so just going by his judgement really, although he only spoke to me for about five minutes . Maybe my wording wasn’t the best on my original post! I suppose what I mean is I wouldn’t want to take anything that they didn’t think would work or help. I’d absolutely be willing to try medication if my GP (or whatever professional) thought it would help/was necessary!

My GP told me they wouldn’t help and I insisted on being given them as I know they do (for me). I spoke to my psychology nurse and she talked me through all the options before doing my own research on what I want to try. My GP was very receptive to me taking them after that as he’d had a professional confirm it. It’s important to note mine were for depression, anxiety and PTSD. I agree it depends on the circumstances and don’t help everyone, but I had struggled for so many years I was at the end of my rope. I am also back with the psychotherapist after a year of trying to cope alone. I can’t talk to anyone about it because they judge me enough as it is.