The Depression Thread

[mindlessness]

How do you find a counsellor in your area best suited for your needs?
I've just looked, tis a minefield!

It really is! Often if they have websites they will talk about what their specialties are. I've always found mine through my GP and a referral. My GP had sent other patients to therapist or someone else at the same practice. You can also change therapists if you just don't click with someone too. Unfortunately, this is made harder if you have financial constraints and there aren't many affordable therapists, or if it's via the NHS and there are waitlists etc (insert here a long rant about the lack of mental health services and funding!).

Mind has a great website with guidance for seeking help in the UK: https://www.mind.org.uk/information...p-for-a-mental-health-problem/where-to-start/
and also on finding a therapist specifically, with suggestions of questions to ask etc: https://www.mind.org.uk/information...rapy-and-counselling/how-to-find-a-therapist/

Good luck on your search!

 

[Maid22]

@Misbehaving
Thank you so much for your kind words, it really does mean alot to me, I am so sorry to hear what you've been through and are currently going through, I have been thinking about you and have wondered if you've managed to get any help or support?
I resonate with you so much, life can be a hard slog at times, bless you for remembering about my dogs, unfortunately I had one pts recently, broke my heart, he used to go everywhere with me, miss him so much, such a character ( you're actually the first person I've told)
My oh is worried that I'll have another episode. but my depression just comes from no where, yes I'm upset, but am not in a dark place, if you know what I mean?
You're right it's great to be able to off load on these threads, folks are kind and supportive.
I really wish you well and hope you are taking care of yourself

 

[Gullri]

I have been taking 50mg of sertraline for a few months after my anxiety got worse following a breakup. We were on/ off and now we have finally broke up for the last time and I feel like I want to die. I feel so bad for feeling like this because I’m usually such a happy person. I wouldn’t do it because I love my family too much but I really would rather not be here.

I am sorry Sometimes I find it helps remembering that life will get better again.

 

[no-no]

There's also a few low cost services available too which everyone might not be aware of. Roughly what area are you in? I could recommend a few in London if you wanted.

I would avoid anyone asking for a payment upfront..

My old therapist used to see me for £40 per session which became £44.50 after three years. It was still below his usual £60/70 fee per session. You could also email a few therapists and ask too.

I never used to believe that therapy would work for me, I'm not 100% cured and still have my moments but I'm glad I'm not were I was when I first started.

Oh, how do you find those? I’m up north. All I’ve seen is a free intro session then block book or it’ll be £60-£100 for an hour depending on the therapist. My therapist said he’ll get me some recommendations before he leaves but I’ll have to see how much they charge.

Great to hear it’s working for you Sometimes you just need someone to help you put stuff in to perspective. That’s how I approached my sessions, and have made a lot of “holistic progress”. He was fed up of the bureaucracy of the NHS so is going fully private.

 

[isabellalovescats]

I am so tired of me

Spoiler: TW: Suicide

Early 20s me wouldn't be scared to try and commit suicide like 35 year old me is. In fact I "died" twice but was brought back

Hey, maybe we become scared for a reason though we’re not sure what it is. I hear things are hard for you. My thoughts are with you.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Since going on sertraline i feel like i have some kind of clarity over things when i was a kid. Im remembering stuff, seeing things clearly and starting difficult conversations with family.

Now i dont know what to do

Is this normal to happen? Its like my brain is defragging and putting all my misery in order to work though.

Do i need to speak to someone?

Its come to light, what I put down as just not liking a parent, actually was neglect and abuse. I feel validated in the sense of it being acknowledged BUT i feel like the genie has been let out, and the family members who confirmed this seem to be talking about me as a child as if i was some other person. There's no connection for them between that scared child and this anxious depressed adult.

I’m so sorry you’ve been through that, and that it’s coming back to you in this way now. I can’t even imagine how painful it would feel.
I think you should speak to someone yes, as long as you feel comfortable doing so. It sounds like it’s a lot for one person to deal with, and you deserve good help and support to process it x

 

[Professor Farnsworth]

I did wonder about asking to see/talk to the advanced nurse practitioner at our surgery. I don’t want to take medication if it really isn’t necessary but I’ve just been trying to cope for so long with other techniques and nothing is really working thank you x

Hi there, newbie to the thread and have a question please. I hear so many people say they won’t/don’t want to take medication for depression. Can I ask why? No judgements, just interested. For me I just know I couldn’t function without it and am not concerned even if I end up on them for life because it is better than the alternative (for me it would be suicide).

 

[rainbowlemon]

Does anyone have any experience in dealing with jealousy? Unfortunately, I realised I’m really jealous of someone I know. She has my dream job, my dream boyfriends, good looks, she lives in a nice place and earns a lot of money. She is younger than me too. I have nothing in comparison, I can’t stop feeling a failure and blaming myself for not having worked hard enough to achieve what she has. Obviously, it takes a toll on my mental health. My self-hatred is so intense I feel physically sick all of the time. I just wish I could disappear.

For me I tried not to be so hard on myself for feeling jealous. It was just a feeling. Self hate was also just thoughts and could be changed. I don't particularly love myself yet either but I've just stopped adding extra feelings / stuff on top when I'm already feeling low.

Might sound cliched but everyone has to run their own race. I would really recommend Louise hay's videos and affirmations on youtube.

 

[Professor Farnsworth]

God it’s so depressing listening to everyone at work getting engaged and/or having babies. I mean I don’t want either, but I feel like the old cat lady and have to feign my enthusiasm for it. I don’t remember being so excited at work when I got engaged, but perhaps I just can’t remember! Working with young people is not fun!

 

[Raininvain]

Help!
im new to this forum I have just Made my account and this is my first post.
I’m searching for help because I am too scared to talk to anyone about how I feel face to face. I’m having a really hard time and I cannot control my thoughts some days I can think things are getting better and the next days are the lowest of low. Some back story throughout my childhood it was never good in school I used to get bullied for the way I looked and I always tried to fit in however a few years later at the 16 age I starting getting some attention i liked but I was way out of my league and then had a traumatic accident 2 years ago and was burnt and left alone (I think this is where my trauma lies I’m not sure I’m over it) I lost all my confidence and had to return to school all my friends knowing what happened and had massive burn patches on the side of my face. At the time this didn’t fase me at all I thought it wouldn’t affect me (it has now I think it is because I never processed it) 3 years after I now dropped out of college no job no friends because of anxiety and depression (not diagnosed) I get flashbacks of what happened I’m too scared to admit my feelings because I have no one to talk to and the people I know we don’t have that kind of open relationship or don’t take me seriously. I want to change my life so bad I want to get back into education a job and new friends I have missed out on so much the fire took so much away from me and during the lockdown I think is when I processed what had happened and that’s when it all hit me I didn’t leave the house for months gave up on things I enjoyed and lost myself. How can I change things to make things better and get a better life?

I'm sorry you have been through such a bad experience especially when your young as well. I think I would start with looking for some counselling to start off, Could you ask the G.P to refer you or is there a local Womens project etc? I think I'd do that and look for something local you could join, anything to get out of the house and meet people. I know its still difficult at the moment but things are getting a bit better. Like a book club, walking group/ running club/church group whatever you are interested in etc. I'd also force myself to walk for an hour a day for fresh air instead of being stuck in the house which can be very depressing in itself.

 

[Maid22]

It really is! Often if they have websites they will talk about what their specialties are. I've always found mine through my GP and a referral. My GP had sent other patients to therapist or someone else at the same practice. You can also change therapists if you just don't click with someone too. Unfortunately, this is made harder if you have financial constraints and there aren't many affordable therapists, or if it's via the NHS and there are waitlists etc (insert here a long rant about the lack of mental health services and funding!).

Mind has a great website with guidance for seeking help in the UK: https://www.mind.org.uk/information...p-for-a-mental-health-problem/where-to-start/
and also on finding a therapist specifically, with suggestions of questions to ask etc: https://www.mind.org.uk/information...rapy-and-counselling/how-to-find-a-therapist/

Good luck on your search!

I will check out your links, appreciate your help x

 

[caterday28]

According to NICE guidelines, antidepressants should only be used as first line treatment for moderate to severe depression. They may have assumed (perhaps wrongly!) from your (very brief) conversation that your depression was mild - so that may be the reason.

 

[mindlessness]

My antidepressants aren’t working, I’ve been on them a few months, gradually increased the dose and I just feel like a zombie.
It’s so annoying because I’ve used this same medication a couple of years ago and it really helped then. I know I’ll be ok eventually but right now I just feel like I’m back to square one and I’ve lost hope.

I have had this happen! Definitely talk to your doctor about changing to a different medication. My Psychiatrist told me recently he has some patients who did not find a specific SSRI helpful in the past sometimes find a few years down the line it is more effective (we were discussing possible medication options for me, including trying a med I had previously not had much luck with!) I think probably it works the other way too?

 

[Raininvain]

I suffer with depression have done since I became a mum at 16, I hid it from my then HV because I was scared my child would be taken off me, back in the late 90’s depression wasn’t really spoken about, fast forward to now I’ve been on antidepressants since my early 20’s on & off, I split with my ex husband 7 months ago & I’m back on them again, I’ve also lost 6 stone since we split, my eating habits are getting worse, I can go for days without eating just drinking coffee mainly, then the days I do eat I perhaps have a couple of crackers, but then people tell me how better I look, my kids don’t notice my not eating either, I don’t want my habits rubbing off on them but I’ve got into this strange habit of not eating now, I feel better, I punish myself if I eat, I also don’t sleep, hence the late post on here, I can’t remember the last time I actually slept all night, I know I need help but I don’t want to put weight back on, I was 20st now I’m 14st & I still need to lose another 3-4st to feel good about myself, sorry for rambling on x

You've done amazing losing all that weight and 14 stone is very good really if you've previously been 20. You do need to have a bit more than crackers though. You'll be fainting. Can you go to Slimming World ?there they help you eat healthily and you wont put weight on with that eating plan. You could ask the G.P if theres any help available regarding your eating?

 

[Raininvain]

Does anyone have any experience in dealing with jealousy? Unfortunately, I realised I’m really jealous of someone I know. She has my dream job, my dream boyfriends, good looks, she lives in a nice place and earns a lot of money. She is younger than me too. I have nothing in comparison, I can’t stop feeling a failure and blaming myself for not having worked hard enough to achieve what she has. Obviously, it takes a toll on my mental health. My self-hatred is so intense I feel physically sick all of the time. I just wish I could disappear.

No not with being jealous as such, but I do know for a fact that often things are not as them seem and that no one really gets a full hand even though they might appear to. You just don't know what someone's reality really is. I've known plenty of people who look like they have it all but cant stand their partners or are getting beaten up or they have cancer etc. I think you just have to try to be happy in yourself and to think that your health is the main thing that matters, not money, boyfriends, good looks etc.

 

[Purplepixie99]

Hey i have been depressed for most of my 20s i have tried all different antidepressants I'm on duloxetine 90mg now but feel it makes me blank sometimes and I have 0 sex drive.

I've lost my friends who I introduced to each other over a drunk argument now they are best friends without me. I have no one now except for my boyfriend.

I feel im always self destructive and push people away especially when im drinking.

I want to be a better person but im struggling really bad at the moment.

 

[mindlessness]

I’m also 28 (single) and still live with parents.
Definitely talk to your GP, they may even suggest talking therapies before medication. I started on Sertraline but it didn’t agree with me at all. Had some very dark thoughts while on those tablets.
I’m on Propranolol and Amitriptyline atm. Although I can’t say I feel better I just feel numb.


Having a really bad day today. Does anyone else get mimicked about their mental health?

Ive had that awful sense of dread and pain in my chest all day. Haven’t left my bed, haven’t been to work. My mum came in my room and asked if I was ok. I said “No, I’ve got the worst pain and heavyness in my chest” she just sighed, then mimicked me in a high pitch voice and shut my door.

Spoiler: Trigger warning

Genuinely feel like self-harming just to take my mind off the mental torture. But I’m going to be a bridesmaid in a few months and don’t want any ugly scars on show and to ruin the photos. I self harmed up my arms last year and the scars have just about gone.

My close friends are supportive, but I don’t want to burden them anymore. The thought of ringing my GP almost sends me into a meltdown. You have to ring on the day to get an appointment, phone lines open at 8:30am. Most days they’re engaged and when you finally get through you’re put into a queue and then on hold for up to 2 hours. The receptionists are god awful and sometimes I end up putting the phone down in tears because of how they speak to you. Numerous people have complained and put in formal complaints but nothing gets done.

Really feel like I’m a lost cause. I’ve had CBT, counselling and hypnotherapy all haven’t helped and make me feel worse. Don’t want to try any other medication because of all the physical side affects. My parents clearly don’t understand. Sorry for the long post, talking out loud makes me feel worse but typing it all down is a little bit of a release.

It is so shitty when the people who are meant to be your support network don't get it. I'm sorry. I'm glad you have good friends.

I definitely go through cycles with my depression and anxiety where sometimes different forms of therapy are more or less effective too.

Do you have any hobbies or interests you enjoy? Or used to enjoy? It's hard when you're feeling apathetic and the depression is bad but would picking one of those up again be do-able?

and omg. Medical receptionists...Why are so many of them awful? I truly do not understand why you would go in to that job if you weren't a people person (and most of them seem to hate people!).

You're not a lost cause. No-one is.

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

Please only share it with people you trust, I definitely don’t suggest going through it again and posting it here if it makes you sad or uncomfortable


I have to go now but there is always someone around here you can talk to. You are not alone @Chrisxo!

 

[bamboo98]

Does anyone have a gp that doesn’t listen? I know it’s more than ‘just depression’ as he puts it but he won’t refer me to see a psychiatrist to get a definitive diagnosis. I can’t afford to go private as it’s way out of my price range. I feel like I’m stuck in limbo and no one is listening to me.

 

[Maid22]

@Maid22 thank you sweet person. It is so tough. I'm sending you the best.

Right back at you x