The Depression Thread

[Silverplume]

Are there any MH phone services available near you? An emergency room or hospital? I think it would be good for you to talk to a professional and I don’t know how to push you to the front of the line so you don’t have to wait.
I know that here in the US, if you say you are feeling like harming yourself, you will be escorted to the mental health wing (or floor or building, whatever) and you have to stay for at least 72 hours. You get counseling and your medication will be reviewed. I really hope you have something similar. Life changes like the sky, so watch for when the clouds in your life clear, because they will.

 

[Maid22]

I'm really struggling today

I take antidepressants and they've been helping, but I went on a night out last night and I don't even think it's a hangover, more the fact alcohol is a depressant and it's just set me back

I'm in bed about to go to sleep already and hope this shit feeling passes I don't need to get up until 7 and the idea that I'm about to have 10 hours of nothing pass me by is both a relief and even more depressing. Like I'm wishing my life away

Meh.

Aw, hope you're ok, it's shit when you feel like that, I'm also on ads, but do like a drink, but has taken me along time to realise that together they don't work so don't have a drink that often now, I know that feeling of wishing your life away, it's shit, I really hope you feel better tomorrow.

 

[isabellalovescats]

So sorry you feel like this @isabellalovescats
Hoping things get better and you get more sleep. Life is even tougher when you’re not sleeping properly, it throws everything out.
Your ex wasn’t good enough for you no matter what you think now!!!! You are a beautiful soul that gives so much support, laughs and advice on these forums. His loss!!! Things will turn around xxxx 🫂

Thank you so much for taking your time to write this @Libbylulu. You are so warm and kind. I’m still struggling with sleep, today is the lack of it (5 am now, not a wink). But your message makes me feel so much better. Thank you.

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

Going through a really tough breakup which made me homeless and there was domestic abuse according to social services. Just struggling a lot missing him.. it’s a long story

I’m really sorry to hear that! You said the breakup left you homeless, do you have a place to live in now? And don’t question it, you did the right thing, not even the strongest feeling of love or being loved justifies domestic abuse. Please be kind to yourself, you’ve been through a lot, you need some time to heal. I second Libbylulu‘s idea of talking to the Samaritans, they can be pretty helpful. Or you can always post here Sending you virtual hugs!

 

[hereforthememe]

I'm really struggling at the moment. Not exercising, hardly eating, and my flat is just a mess. Rather than dealing with it, I just spend hours staring at the TV and trying to get some escapism.

 

[Blond3g1rl]

I’ve been medication free since last summer. I don’t think that’s going to last much longer. Feeling low at the moment and it’s not going away

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

I’m having such a horrible day. Maybe quitting my meds wasn’t such a good decision. I usually try to keep it together but on days like this I would be so glad to just be hit by a car. I feel dead lonely, too.

 

[gingerteacup]

Same, same. I’ve been crying on and off for the the last few days. Hope you’re ok x

Likewise, Christmas is just too stressful for me now. How are you feeling? Sending you strength for today my love x

 

[Maid22]

@Raymond Luxury-Yacht thank you for asking, I've had a really bad time, but am coming through it now, I hate how it makes me feel, the lost days etc x
Hope everyone else on here are ok.

 

[Raininvain]

How do you guys deal with hopelessness?


I've spent a lot of today crying and searching on youtube. I feel like I've really sunk and I'm lower then I've been by far. My last session with my therapist was on friday and I needed him to give me hope, something to hold on to but he actually came out with my situation was hopeless and gave me a football analogy of it working out 25 years down the line.

Just take one day at a time and don't think about anything else. Also get a cat or a small pet if you can do, it gives you something to concentrate on other than problems etc. Also things will be back to normal in a couple of weeks or so, so plan some things to do for yourself etc.

 

[Libbylulu]

Supplements like ashwagandha, rhodiola rosea and PS (phosphatidylserine) are meant to help

High cortisol also makes you insulin resistant and gives you belly fat

I have belly fat, bad skin, lethargy. Thanks for your posts! I hope you feel better soon too x

 

[isabellalovescats]

Yes! It’s worth it. Depression stinks and it’s so easy to say hang in there when you are feeling so low. But I tried to take my life last year. I was mad as hell when I didn’t succeed - but I’m here and things are better. Don’t give up, really hang in there, it will get better

I am so very glad you are here. You are a great friend to a lot of us on this website.

 

[flutternutter]

Does anyone suffer from "after work brain"? It's not that my work is excessively demanding nowadays. I'm not working long hours, I'm out of the office at 5pm. I usually have free time at work. It shouldn't have this effect on me. But all my mental and physical energy is spent on functioning in the office that by the time I leave, I am totally fried. I feel so weak and incompetent, not because I am doing a bad job at work but because I have no energy to do the things I enjoy after work. I come home and by the time I shower, eat, put away my stuff and do a couple of chores, it's almost 7. And then I spend the rest of my evening staring at a screen because I can't focus on my book, words won't come to me so I can't write, I can't do embroidery, can't exercise, I can't even hold a conversation with anyone over the phone or in person. And it's pushing me towards comfort eating, since I can't do anything that actually entertains me, the only mood boost I tend to get is from a mouthful of junk, which I don't even really enjoy. I don't want to be this way, it's almost too cliché but I can't find my way around it. I can force myself to not give into this once or twice but on the third day, even that effort is draining my batteries.

Anyone has found a solution to this? How do you find your way around a day job/family responsibilities/house work with bad mental health and still make sure your own time actually means something to you? Not in terms of productivity, but in terms of doing something that makes you happy?

Im exactly the same and i dont have a solution i am afraid. Work leaves me so exhausted mentally i struggle to do the most basic tasks. This morning my washing basket is full and i know im going to have to force myself to sort that out. The house is mess, dont get me started on my garden

This is why i went on antidepressants because i just kept finding myself lying in bed miserable. I cant say it's improved much yet though. I just need a new job or a lottery win haha

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

@Bitofthebubbly? Hope you are doing a little better than yesterday

Bit better thank you. Just in a bit of a funk at the moment.Need to get myself out of it.

 

[melfish]

I have belly fat, bad skin, lethargy. Thanks for your posts! I hope you feel better soon too x

Thank you, you too I am currently on the SSRI merry-go-round, trying to find on that works

 

[Maid22]

Sorry I am jumping on this thread, I was wondering ( I assume a lot of you have) done this I basicallyhave been advised to go on anti depressants, but I have heard SO many negatives from so many kinds... does anyone have any advice? (I am going to a private doctor so I canask for a specific brand)

From my experience, I've had to try a few different ads, each are different, they can take a couple of weeks or so before you feel better, , my best advice to you emm, tell your Dr everything how you feel x

 

[isabellalovescats]

Cross posting from the vent thread. I’d really appreciate some kind support. My brain is messing with me and I hate it at the moment.
I think my depression and anxiety are trying to take over my life again. I recently got into a very nice relationship with someone without forcing things. I am excited. I should be excited. Despite being very introverted, my boyfriend is very lovely. However, despite us having discussed about our different styles of socialization, I’m still feeling pretty scared and insecure in myself that I am overbearing and that he might get annoyed with me or he wouldn’t like me.
We confirmed already that he’s awful at planning and expressing emotions verbally (possibly due to a medical disorder, he’s not diagnosed but he’s pretty sure. His best friend thinks so, too), and he told me he prefers me making plans and taking the reins because he’s awful at both of those things. He’s very loving in person and text, and I can see it more in his physical behaviours like touch and doing things for me (cooking, always picking me up from my place, putting in effort once I told him what our date would be - e.g. if I say we are doing a picnic, he’d pick up the food and drinks. I just have to set a time and place).
However, because I’ve had pretty shitty relationships before, I am just super scared and anxious that he doesn’t express things verbally much at all. On one hand, I don’t want to force things because that’s not fair to his disorder. But then, not hearing words of affirmation is also hard on my disorder and disabilities. I’ve only heard him say he likes me once in the two months that we’ve been with each other. I tell him I like him quite often like every other week or sometimes, more often. I just really don’t know how to be authentically myself which is expressive and affectionate. I am so insecure. I keep involuntarily projecting my past experiences and now I’m really scared I’d be dumped for no rational reason.
Sorry everyone. I am spiralling tonight. Any support would help so much. Thank you.

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

I've been on antidepressants for about a week or so and I am extremely emotionally blunted. I want to cry, I feel it coming but no tears. I'm really struggling with this. I feel so indifferent to everything right now. I've been on all sorts of medication for my mental health since I was 17 but I've never really felt like this. Does it get better?

What are you taking lovely? I was the same when I was first put on fluoxetine, but it has since improved and I am much less numb and can cry. To be honest, I’d rather go back to being numb but that’s another story.

 

[TapToBoreMeRigid]

@Raymond Luxury-Yacht sending my best wishes to you. This site has saved me since I joined in the summer.

 

[GiftedNotFree]

Does anyone else struggle with binge eating/emotional eating ? I know for some it’s a case of losing appetite but for me I have always used food whether it be when I’m happy, sad, anxious whatever. I’m very low at the moment, dark thoughts etc and I feel like the binge eating is getting out of control. It’s not helping because it makes me feel horrible bloated and disgusting but when you get that few moments of fake happiness eating food it seems worth it. Anyone else struggle with this ?

You’re not alone! I’ve struggled with BED since I was a teenager. And it is such a god damn struggle. I’ve had therapy for it previously, which has helped, but I’m currently not in therapy and I’ve relapsed a lot recently. BED is so difficult because so much shame comes from it. It makes me feel so immature and childish (I’m 31). And ultimately it’s such a self sabotaging behaviour- it’s so complicated. I wish I could offer you more support, but just know, you’re not alone.