At this point I don't even know why I'm alive
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Absolutely relate to this it’s a horrible place to be in. I’m in a very similar place. I’m sorry you are struggling so much x
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Help me please! Only signed up to Tattle for this thread.
Has anyone been anti anti-depressants and therapy but given it a go and it's worked? I think I have depression, PTSD and now moderate anxiety.
Up until 2015 I would say my mental health was good but my daughter was stillborn at 41 weeks and that's where my problems started.
I don't know if I'm depressed or it's just grief/sadness. I've never asked for help and no one has offered. I don't want to waste anyones time so very reluctant to ask for help. I feel like no amount of therapy or drugs will help as it will (obviously) not bring my daughter back so nothing will change and I just need to accept this is how I will feel forever.
I feel like I'm very good at acting happy and normal but inside my head it can feel like torture. I just want some peace and don't think I can live the next 40 plus years of my life this way.
Has anyone been anti anti-depressants and therapy but given it a go and it's worked? I think I have depression, PTSD and now moderate anxiety.
Up until 2015 I would say my mental health was good but my daughter was stillborn at 41 weeks and that's where my problems started.
I don't know if I'm depressed or it's just grief/sadness. I've never asked for help and no one has offered. I don't want to waste anyones time so very reluctant to ask for help. I feel like no amount of therapy or drugs will help as it will (obviously) not bring my daughter back so nothing will change and I just need to accept this is how I will feel forever.
I feel like I'm very good at acting happy and normal but inside my head it can feel like torture. I just want some peace and don't think I can live the next 40 plus years of my life this way.
I bought this book for my youngest sister.
I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now. You have value even if you can't see it for yourself. This moment will pass. Do you have anyone you can call?
I'm sorry for your loss. Maybe it's both grief and depression?
You really won't be wasting anyone's time and you need help as much as one else does. I did therapy for a very long time. You are right- it didn't change the situations, but it changed me and the way I reacted to things. I know it's it not the same thing but I also lost someone I was close to last year. Grief in my opinion needs to be expressed. if you don't feel like you have the words there's also lots of different therapy types too like art or music therapy.
For anxiety I found doing this actually helped even though it seems so basic.
Havening practice
Talk therapy might not work for everyone. Somatic experiencing focuses on the body.
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Hi, I am new to this thread as well, ( I come here to talk about something but am not sure how to start)
I feel asking your GP about group grief therapy might help you. Talking is a great healer and talking to people who have been through or going through the same thing can help you so much. We always feel like we are bothering people if we keep talking and that is why going to a group specifically for this will help you let everything out. Drs are very fast to give pills when sometimes just talking is what we need. if that doesn't work then try the pills. but talking and talking until you have no words left, for me is the greatest healer.
I always ask, do you have reason to be depressed.. Yes, you do, no bigger reason than losing a child. it's against everything we know, we are conditioned that one day we will lose a parent, but never a child.
I've not lost a child, so cannot advise on that specifically, but lost my whole life due to violence and having to be moved away from my children, my home, my friends and family my career and start over.
Yes, I was depressed but had an f-ing good reason to be depressed, (just like you do) no one helped me work through that I was just given pills. Pills are for a chemical imbalance not for people who have reason to be depressed and who need to work it through and talk it through. Pills should never be the first action for those who do not have a chemical imbalance but have a good reason to be depressed.
whatever you decide to do, good luck and I am so sorry for your loss.
When i miscarried the 2nd time i had a breakdown. I acted ok for months and something tiny set me off. I wouldnt say therapy cured me but it stopped my plans to end it all.
Grief comes in all shapes and sizes for people and for me I just wanted the pain to end.
My friend had a stillbirth and its awful. Im on my 3rd loss now, all 9 weeks or under and when i think of attachment and plans i had in such a short time.... i admire my friend for picking herself up, knowing how hard that must be.
I really found talking about it helped though. When i shut down my mental health shut down too. After my 3rd i was very open with people, very open about just wanting to have a "sad day" i put absolutely 0 pressure on myself to act normal
2006 both my sister and best friend were diagnosed with terminal cancers. Sister brain tumour, and best friend breast cancer. I nursed my sister until she died and then after her funeral flew to America to nurse my best friend for 6 weeks. The next so many years were really a blur.
FF to now, last week both my best friend ( she was a befriender who helped me and we become real friends) and my brother told me they are having tests one for leukaemia and the other for stomach or prostate cancer both having serious symptoms.
I feel like history is repeating itself.
Strangely yesterday I was seeing the mental health team for assessment, what's strange is I didn't ask for the assessment I asked for a home disability assessment as my disabilities got worse over lockdown, and something got mixed up along the way. Talking to the MH Dr I realised that my MH had indeed gone downhill due mostly to a neighbour from hell and housing and local council doing what they have to due to guidelines, regulations blue tape etc rather than what was best for me as a vulnerable person. Anyway, the MH Dr is going to speak to housing and council and say what this neighbour is doing to me is unacceptable and has to stop. OK probably nothing will come of it but it was just so nice to feel someone was on my side over this. I don't know how it will turn out but yesterday was a good day and I still don't know how the mix up happened but it was just what I needed.
FF to now, last week both my best friend ( she was a befriender who helped me and we become real friends) and my brother told me they are having tests one for leukaemia and the other for stomach or prostate cancer both having serious symptoms.
I feel like history is repeating itself.
Strangely yesterday I was seeing the mental health team for assessment, what's strange is I didn't ask for the assessment I asked for a home disability assessment as my disabilities got worse over lockdown, and something got mixed up along the way. Talking to the MH Dr I realised that my MH had indeed gone downhill due mostly to a neighbour from hell and housing and local council doing what they have to due to guidelines, regulations blue tape etc rather than what was best for me as a vulnerable person. Anyway, the MH Dr is going to speak to housing and council and say what this neighbour is doing to me is unacceptable and has to stop. OK probably nothing will come of it but it was just so nice to feel someone was on my side over this. I don't know how it will turn out but yesterday was a good day and I still don't know how the mix up happened but it was just what I needed.
I don’t have enough time to write a long post, but I just wanted to stop by and say I really appreciate you all, we’ve got such a lovely and supportive community here 
I’m so sorry to hear some of you are not in a good place mentally, sending loads of love and virtual hugs! Tomorrow is another day, I promise it will get better, it always does. I’m more or less okay today after going through a really rough patch — if I can do it, so can you! I believe so much in you all 
I’m so sorry to hear some of you are not in a good place mentally, sending loads of love and virtual hugs! Tomorrow is another day, I promise it will get better, it always does. I’m more or less okay today after going through a really rough patch — if I can do it, so can you! I believe so much in you all 
I’m very open about my depression, people are shocked that I’m so open about it. I’m like why shouldn’t I be open?! It’s not different to saying I’ve got asthma or a bad leg.
I'm fed up, I'm not happy. I've spent most of the day on the verge of tears. I'm tired of constantly putting on a front. I feel like I'm failing as a Mum and I don't make my little boy happy. It feels like everything is falling on top of me and I can't breathe. I feel like I'm going to have a breakdown 
This is probably a gross question but doesn't anyone else here who suffers from depression/anxiety find that sometimes stress makes them have diarrhoea
How old is your little boy? Honestly I don't think every child is 100% happy all the time and I think that's placing too much pressure to place on yourself.I'm fed up, I'm not happy. I've spent most of the day on the verge of tears. I'm tired of constantly putting on a front. I feel like I'm failing as a Mum and I don't make my little boy happy. It feels like everything is falling on top of me and I can't breathe. I feel like I'm going to have a breakdown
You're doing the best you can. Have you got any family to support you right now? can you get a GP appointment for yourself?
I've posted this before but the charity maytree is still offering support by email and phone.
Maytree | We’re open to suicidal feelings
Maytree offer a free 4 night, 5 day stay for adults, with the opportunity to be heard in complete confidence, in a caring, safe environment.
www.maytree.org.uk
Can you just get into bed right now and watch a movie? Are there any family/ friends you can call?
You'll get through this just one breath at a time.
I think this is definitely possible.
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I’ve not had that, but I couldn’t keep any food down when I was super anxious everything just came up, so I imagine that similar.
Not gross. It happens to me when I’m super anxious and wipes me out. Take care
stress can have a HUGE effect on your body. I’ve definitely experienced this don’t worry it’s not gross.
I finally reached out to my GP that I've been struggling with depression and anxiety - in particular, with my sleeping.
I have been prescribed Sertraline and I've only started taking it for two days. I feel quite sick for a bit a couple of hours afterwards, then have a massive crash in my energy levels at around 3pm. I was thinking of taking it before bed but apparently it can affect sleep so do I stick it out in the mornings or test out evenings?
I have been prescribed Sertraline and I've only started taking it for two days. I feel quite sick for a bit a couple of hours afterwards, then have a massive crash in my energy levels at around 3pm. I was thinking of taking it before bed but apparently it can affect sleep so do I stick it out in the mornings or test out evenings?
Im on sertraline too. I felt the same in the afternoon. I take mine at 10am due to other medications and by the afternoon i was napping. Happy to say this is no longer the case.
While i think my overall mood is improving, my anxiety is touch and go. Some days im ok, other days its terrible. My desire to do things is a bit up and down too. The GP is going to speak to me once Ive been on 3 months to discuss going up in dose or switching. I felt like week 3-5 i felt much better and its like its wearing off or i am getting used to it. So im hoping a higher dose will do the trick
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