The Depression Thread

[Jelly Bean]

There is a free service I had never come across before that may help people. You text 'SHOUT' to 85258 and it is a 24 hour text line where trained MH professionals will text back when you are struggling and don't know where to turn day or night. They won't call. And you can take it from there. Or not. It is ideal for people, like myself, who hate using the phone.
I have not used it as am OK at the moment so have no first hand experience of it. But I thought it sounded a very useful addition to other services.

 

[TapToBoreMeRigid]

I've gone from insomnia to sleeping 8am-2am. I hate this. Sending so much love to each of you.

 

[Emperor]

Haven't read all the thread but loads of love for you all. Only small offering I can make is that Venlafaxine has helped me, way more than Fluoxetine did, although I was on that for years so probably became immune to be fair. Try not to worry why you feel the way you do and just accept that's the way you feel right now. Like the weather it will change, sometimes for the worst but often for the better. Above all, take care and if you can bring yourself to have small treats and rewards available, something to look forward to, or exercise then go for it xxx

 

[salmaaax]

I’ve been wanting to talk to my GP or a therapist for a long time because I’m worried I might have a form of depression (or that something’s not right with my thyroid, as some symptoms are very similar).
However, at the moment people keep telling me it’s “normal” to feel bad because we’re in the middle of a pandemic. So, I’ve been putting it off, and only have a look at some therapists every now and then but whenever I see someone who I think looks “nice” (for lack of a better word) they usually don’t offer any appointments within the next 6 months

Not sure if it would be of any help but you can get free therapy on NHS through talking therapies I think it's called, they do a phone consultation and then determine what therapy is best (CBT/counselling) it runs for a 3 month period before ending, but after 3 months from it ending you can reregister. It might not be ideal for everyone but it helped me learn techniques to better deal with my mental health

Here's the link to self refer:

Talking therapies

Find out how to access free talking therapies (psychological therapies) like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), counselling and guided self-help on the NHS.

www.nhs.uk

 

[rainbowlemon]

Hi! More than half a year, I think? At least 5 months.

I just went from two to one pill a day, I am not even sure it can be done any other way with Fluoxetine…Meal replacement drinks are a great idea, thank you so much! Will look into them now x

When I was coming off I remember going lower because I could break the tablet. You are right though it does depend.

Did you get yourself the drinks? Are you eating a bit better?

How do you guys get yourself out of a slump? I just haven’t been able to find any motivation the last few days. I’ve been managing to cook dinner, that’s about it.

From the wise words of Dr Seuss "Unslumping yourself is not easily done." I've been severely down for the past three months. Good days and not so good in between. Letting go of expectations helps. You cooked dinner and that is still something. You don't have to be super productive all the time. Accept where you are without judgement and adding extra feelings on top. Try to focus on looking after yourself the best you can each day that's all.

 

[Libbylulu]

the thing is that i tried to take my own life a couple of years back and instead of looking back and being happy it didn’t work i’m still wishing it did. i fucking hate depression.

i have absolutely no friends (when i say that i mean none) so it’s so easy for me to slip back into depression. i just feel so alone and as if no one would miss me if i was gone, because theres no one in my life that would even realise. how are you meant to be happy when you know not a single person in this world wants to be your friend

We do! As idiotic as this sounds find some threads on Tattle and join in. Some threads feel like communities. Strange I know but I feel like I know some members. See you over on the What Have You Done Today and Quedtions and Answers

 

[mindlessness]

I’m 20 and have been struggling with constantly feeling sad since I was around 13. I used to use sh as a release but have managed to stay sober for nearly 9 months now. However I still feel really bad sometimes and struggling to find other ways of coping. My parents found out about it when I was 17 and I went to 2 counselling sessions before stopping because my dad kept shouting at me after for not tell him what I’d talked about. Our relationship is a lot better now and I’ve had the best Christmas and birthday in years. However things he said, and other incidents that caused me to feel down still play on my mind and keep me up at night. Sometimes I’ll just be sitting having a nice evening with my family and I’ll find my mind wondering to things I did and how they reacted. I do wish I could talk to someone but am unsure about how to do so. I still live at home and am a student so rarely leave my house unless it’s for university.

Are you in the UK? Your uni almost certainly has mental health services available! I really recommend you look in to it. Often they are free or very low cost. Also congratulations on staying sober for 9 months. That's an amazing achievement. I'm glad you had a good Christmas & Birthday too! Happy Birthday!

Hi! New here, I have a wonderful elderly relative who is physically very fit but suffers from depression, but I have noticed they are going back to bed soon after they wake up (I go to give them breakfast and make sure they take their tablets now). Can any of you give me any advice on how to encourage them not to go back to bed, I suggest the radio or reading a book, but I feel out of my depth in what I can suggest/what may help. They lost their partner 7 years ago and know they are drinking alcohol more, and earlier in the day. I feel so helpless and they are so amazing I hate seeing them like this.

Age UK has lots of advice on supporting elderly family members dealing with low mood/loneliness.

Loneliness | Age UK

Age UK are here to help those overcome loneliness. Find out what causes loneliness here and how we can help tackle the problem.

www.ageuk.org.uk

It is so lovely they have you looking out for them

 

[DoctorWho]

Anyone else ready to yeet them self out the window

Despite being all right all day, I’m really struggling tonight. I saw one of my friends yesterday and was really shocked how different our lives are despite similar social backgrounds, education level, etc etc. She is just so confident, so open, so bubbly, so happy, and I’m none of these things. She was brought up loved and cherished. I am happy for her, I just don’t understand why can’t I be like that.

i do this too - I’m fine during the day then the evenings when I’m alone I can’t cope. Also compare my life to everyone else’s.

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

Oh no, why sad?

I know it sound selfish/childish, but I cannot stand to be around happy people right now The food was good, though haha

Thank you for asking, I hope you are having a lovely evening

 

[justheretoread99]

Is it wrong for me to feel annoyed/bad by their response? Am i making a mountain out of a mole hill?

Absolutely not! I was on the phone to my best friend the other week, just telling her how down and numb I was feeling. I’d not been to work, not left my pitch black room. And her response was “Ohh but it could be so much worse”. & I love her to pieces and I know she was meaning well and trying to be encouraging but it upset me and made me feel worse.

I think when people haven’t experienced the same feelings that you have, it’s hard for them to relate and they don’t really understand and they can say things that sound insensitive.

Like my friend, I’m sure your friend was trying to be supportive as best they could. Either try and let go of what they said (easier said then done I know) or have another chat with them

99% of people on here will understand too, so if you’re really struggling please vent/chat on here x

 

[LaBlonde]

I love to see the community on this thread but to be honest it is hard for me to post here, when I pictured my life and what it would be like I never imagined that I would struggle like this and would need to turn to strangers on the internet.

I am suffering with extreme loneliness which is causing depression. I am a grown adult, well-groomed, chirpy and happy to everyone I meet.. I would 'know' a lot of people locally to say hello to and would always have a smile for everyone, but I have always kept my actual circle very close and only have a couple of real friends. They are great but they are all in established relationships and living with their partners. In my head I picture myself as being miles away from people, like i'm in a different dimension. I do all the routines, got my masters degree, got a job, I volunteer, I maintain myself well, I love skincare, my home is kept well, I walk, I lift weights, I socialize, I spend time with myself, I read, I try new food. But if anyone were to watch me closely it's just me, moving around on my own, going home on my own, sitting in the living room alone, getting into bed alone. When I do my grocery shop I have to double check stuff can go in the freezer, it's usually too big a pack/portion for a single person. There's always a minimum spend to order a takeaway so I have to order two meals and put one in the fridge.

I'd love to have a partner to go for a walk with, spend a weekend in a hotel, watch stupid TV and laugh about it. I put on such a show every day that sometimes when I get home I will become paralysed with exhaustion and sadness and sit and stare at the wall. It has been years of dating apps, blind dates, meeting people in the pub, meeting people at hobbies, deciding to stop looking for love, giving up. I cannot look my friends in the eye anymore when they insist it will happen for me some day because in reality I know it just doesn't happen for some people. When I have to think of my life living alone for the rest of my life, managing finances in this expensive world, being in my 50s or 60s, retirement.. all alone. It's not what I ever wanted for myself. And I know the deeper I fall into the depression and negativity the less attractive I am but I just feel worthless and hopeless.

i just wanted to send you lots of love - i feel the exact same way. i’m 36 and have always struggled with romance and dating. i can’t see a point in my life where i have a long-term partner tbh, for so many reasons. i hate dating apps, they do absolutely nothing for my self-esteem and it’s just exhausting to have friends tell me “it will happen for you one day!” and then look at the apps to see what’s actually out there.

i listened to a podcast with kim cattrall (ex of sex and the city) where she spoke at length about living single from her late 40s into her now early 60s and i found it very moving. i will try and find it for you because she speaks very positively about her life and how being alone doesn’t always mean lonely.

i think, as women especially, we are made to seek validation by who loves us, who finds us attractive. i always think that we’re more than that - we’re daughters, sisters, friends, work colleagues, we have hobbies and loves etc. you are what you love, not who loves you.

you have to bloom where you’re planted. you list so many cool things that you do in your post, focus on those and how you can make your life work for you as it is now. it’s hard and i get where you’re coming from completely on every level but if you focus on what you think you’re missing then you’ll overlook what you have.

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

Does anyone have any experience in dealing with jealousy? Unfortunately, I realised I’m really jealous of someone I know. She has my dream job, my dream boyfriends, good looks, she lives in a nice place and earns a lot of money. She is younger than me too. I have nothing in comparison, I can’t stop feeling a failure and blaming myself for not having worked hard enough to achieve what she has. Obviously, it takes a toll on my mental health. My self-hatred is so intense I feel physically sick all of the time. I just wish I could disappear.

 

[flutternutter]

Since going on sertraline i feel like i have some kind of clarity over things when i was a kid. Im remembering stuff, seeing things clearly and starting difficult conversations with family.

Now i dont know what to do

Is this normal to happen? Its like my brain is defragging and putting all my misery in order to work though.

Do i need to speak to someone?

Its come to light, what I put down as just not liking a parent, actually was neglect and abuse. I feel validated in the sense of it being acknowledged BUT i feel like the genie has been let out, and the family members who confirmed this seem to be talking about me as a child as if i was some other person. There's no connection for them between that scared child and this anxious depressed adult.

 

[Libbylulu]

@Raymond Luxury-Yacht i can’t imagine how tough things are you right now. Grief isn’t easy. Especially as you are already suffering with depression. Please don’t focus on how you see other people’s lives being happy. Most of the time it’s a facade and not the real story. Sending you big hugs for healing

 

[hereforthememe]

I wasn't expecting my post to be quite that relatable, thank you everyone for your kind words

I'm feeling a little better, I can tell the alcohol has worn off now. I'm going to cook myself a healthy breakfast and go for a run to take care of myself this morning

 

[MsKymmiek84]

I’m done with living. I’m so fucking sick of waking up every single day. I literally have nothing worth living for. Apparently my mental health issues are a joke, and it’s my own fault I can’t keep friends. No one knows what I’ve been through and what’s happened in my life.
No one cares, not even my doctor. So I just think it would be better if I gave up trying to care for myself anymore.

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

No thanks needed. I might not always reply straight away but I always do in the end. I've had a lot of support too from other's when I've been incredibly low.

I've also bought that book for a friend and a cousin. I also love "all the places you will go". You need to keep hearing it again and again.

How are you feeling?

I’m better, thanks for asking Better on the whole, though it deffo alternates between being okay and just wanting a moving car to hit me. Now I’m quite fine, funnily enough, lower dose of Prozac has made me feel better. How are you?

I've hit a real low tonight, insomnia doesn't help, really just fed up and lonely I suppose? Do miss having someone to talk to, but then again, after being treated like crap, I'd find it hard to trust anyone again, life can be a struggle.

I’m always here if you want to talk We all feel lonely sometimes, unfortunately it’s what life is like. How are you today?

snap. I feel lonely and I have a partner. A partner that has just told me he’s pulling out of the house purchase that’s solely in my name so that’s always nice.

I’ve felt depressed since my brother died 15 years ago and I honestly feel that with each passing year it gets worse. Over the last year or so I’ve had thoughts of harming myself. I know the NHS is overwhelmed but I feel as though there’s no support out there for people.

it just all feels hopeless but I know deep down that it isn’t.

I know how you feel! I’m very sorry about your brother, I lost my BIL last year and it’s still raw as hell. You are right, it is not hopeless no matter how it feels like. You will get through this and we are all here for you


Does anybody else keep on purposefully pulling their triggers? I know it does not make sense but it’s almost satisfying in some odd way, like picking scabs. My trigger is a certain person who (through no fault of her own, I must admit) fucked me up pretty badly. Yet I often feel the urge to look her up, check her social media, etc. Anybody does the same?

 

[altgirl]

I’m after some advice.. I’ve had depression for well over 10 years and it often comes and goes. I left my ex husband who was extremely toxic 2 and a half years ago. I was completely fine until about 5 months ago where my depression came back because of issues with the divorce and now it seems to be ongoing because of the memories of the relationship, being lonely etc.

My question is would I be wise to tell someone I trust what went on/ what he done during the relationship or no? I want someone to be honest with me and say whether I’m overreacting/ try and explain why he done what he done etc and not say things just to defend me to help me feel better. At the minute only my best friend and the police know what went on. I keep getting upset in work and my boss tells me to stop living in the past and I thought maybe if I told someone else what I went through it might help me cope?

Sorry for the long post. I hope it makes sense.

 

[Penguin86]

Fuck people and their judgement of something they know nothing about

 

[Jadejones9596]

Sorry to post but I’m a very poorly person and I know it, I don't know where to turn
Anxiety and depression for a long time but now it is so much worse and all because I can’t let go of him or ask him what he feels for me. I have no appetite, have torn my nails to shreds and I shake a lot. Nurse told me I was obese on Friday and that didn’t make life easier
I am at a loss for what to do, im having counselling, on my 5th antidepressant, im healthy eating and all sorts but I feel worse than I ever have and that makes me feel so desperate, right now I’m convinced the only option is a scary one