The Depression Thread #2

[Ray_of_Sunshine]

I’ve just been diagnosed with type 2 bipolar I didn’t even know this is a thing! Does anyone else have this?

I’m in a really bad place with my mood at the moment. I was doing ok after about February and then June was just a bad month. Started picking up towards the end of last week and then bam woke up Sunday in a dreadful mood again. Ruined my birthday yesterday as I didn’t want to do anything or see anyone so now I’ve upset my mum and dad and subsequently my sister. Kids missed out I just feel like I want to die but I’m also used to it as I’ve felt like this many, many times. I’ve made attempts a few times before but I don’t plan to right now as I write this so that’s a positive.

I’ve suffered with my mental health for years and years and years and got pushed into being diagnosed with post natal depression in 2010 by my then health visitor. It’s then kind of just rolled on and I’ve tried every medication going over the years it’s been a long and hard road and I feel exhausted. I’m currently on 45mg Mirtazapine but am going to be starting Lamotrigine (?) too. I’ll collect the prescription tomorrow. Anyone have any experience with that? Again I’ve never heard of it.

I’m under the care of the Community Mental Health Recovery Service (CMHRS) at the moment and thought I was only going in yesterday for a review of my meds (I almost didn’t bother going!) but then ended up seeing the Psychiatrist who just happened to be free as I was in with another doctor. She brought him into the room I feel quite bewildered if I’m honest. I knew there was more to it and I was misdiagnosed perhaps but now suddenly I have a diagnosis and am starting yet more medication. I’m feeling scared.

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

@Ray_of_Sunshine I don't really have any advice but do identify with that awful feeling that takes you over when you wake up. Having to hide away as you just can't face putting on the okay mask today.
I was prescribed Mirtazipine once and after reading reviews of it, I thought I'd experiment one weekend to see how it affected me. I took it about 2 pm and never woke until the following day about 2.30 & that was only because my phone was ringing! Good luck.

 

[comment on life]

I’m under the care of the Community Mental Health Recovery Service (CMHRS) at the moment and thought I was only going in yesterday for a review of my meds (I almost didn’t bother going!) but then ended up seeing the Psychiatrist who just happened to be free as I was in with another doctor. She brought him into the room I feel quite bewildered if I’m honest. I knew there was more to it and I was misdiagnosed perhaps but now suddenly I have a diagnosis and am starting yet more medication. I’m feeling scared.
[/QUOTE]

This all sounds very rushed... Especially if you have never met this psychiatrist before. To diagnose you with something on the basis of one meeting ....... Mental health conditions are complicated as we all know. If you have been dealing with a therapist on an ongoing basis it would be a good idea to discuss and get a second opinion I think.
---

I’ve just been diagnosed with type 2 bipolar I didn’t even know this is a thing! Does anyone else have this?

I’m in a really bad place with my mood at the moment. I was doing ok after about February and then June was just a bad month. Started picking up towards the end of last week and then bam woke up Sunday in a dreadful mood again. Ruined my birthday yesterday as I didn’t want to do anything or see anyone so now I’ve upset my mum and dad and subsequently my sister. Kids missed out I just feel like I want to die but I’m also used to it as I’ve felt like this many, many times. I’ve made attempts a few times before but I don’t plan to right now as I write this so that’s a positive.

I’ve suffered with my mental health for years and years and years and got pushed into being diagnosed with post natal depression in 2010 by my then health visitor. It’s then kind of just rolled on and I’ve tried every medication going over the years it’s been a long and hard road and I feel exhausted. I’m currently on 45mg Mirtazapine but am going to be starting Lamotrigine (?) too. I’ll collect the prescription tomorrow. Anyone have any experience with that? Again I’ve never heard of it.

I’m under the care of the Community Mental Health Recovery Service (CMHRS) at the moment and thought I was only going in yesterday for a review of my meds (I almost didn’t bother going!) but then ended up seeing the Psychiatrist who just happened to be free as I was in with another doctor. She brought him into the room I feel quite bewildered if I’m honest. I knew there was more to it and I was misdiagnosed perhaps but now suddenly I have a diagnosis and am starting yet more medication. I’m feeling scared.

Sorry - I was replying to this with my earlier message

 

[Ray_of_Sunshine]

I’m under the care of the Community Mental Health Recovery Service (CMHRS) at the moment and thought I was only going in yesterday for a review of my meds (I almost didn’t bother going!) but then ended up seeing the Psychiatrist who just happened to be free as I was in with another doctor. She brought him into the room I feel quite bewildered if I’m honest. I knew there was more to it and I was misdiagnosed perhaps but now suddenly I have a diagnosis and am starting yet more medication. I’m feeling scared.

This all sounds very rushed... Especially if you have never met this psychiatrist before. To diagnose you with something on the basis of one meeting ....... Mental health conditions are complicated as we all know. If you have been dealing with a therapist on an ongoing basis it would be a good idea to discuss and get a second opinion I think.
---

Sorry - I was replying to this with my earlier message
[/QUOTE]
Yeah as I’m sat here right now I’m not feeling 100% reassured or confident but I don’t know if that’s just part of the dark mood I’m in right now. It did feel like a whirlwind Monday. I feel quite overwhelmed and alone. I think the guy that came in to see me is one of the head honchos of the unit. They have meetings all of the time to discuss us patients. I know this because I’ve been told it multiple times before. So I like to think he knows of me. They have my extensive medical history there i’m guessing as they know things that have happened with me before I even came to their unit. So yeah it seems rushed in a sense but then at the same time it doesn’t for me because I’ve been suffering for years and years and I’m really burned out and exhausted now and don’t know how much more I can take. I’ll have to see how it all goes going forward. I started the Lamotrigine last night alongside my Mirtazapine. I’m going to write down my thoughts and questions I think and put it to them next time I go back - my mind went blank Monday. The second opinion seems like a good shout.

I don’t tend to google symptoms as it can make you jump to conclusions and even more confused but looking up bipolar 2 there are a lot of things that make sense

 

[Good Egg]

Hi all

Hope you are doing ok. I think the depression is coming back. That dark sinking feeling.

I was really ill in 2006 and SH.
I wouldn’t say I’m that level at the moment but I certainly don’t feel great and keep having fleeting thoughts of “why am I here” which scares me. ALot has happened over the last five years and to be honest I’m at breaking point.

I’m alone, a single parent. Toxic family members it’s all too much or rather it’s all catching up with me. I FEEL tired. I’m exhausted most days and just want to sleep the moment I wake up. I do work. Some days I don’t even know how I’m going to drag myself in and function but I do.
My weight is fluctuating. I lost 10kg and I’ve put on 2kg.
I comfort eat (a lot). I’ve just eaten half a block of cheese, crisps because food is comfort. Probably my only comfort.

Does this sound like depression or something more? I did see the GP a few months back but I am reluctant to try medication.

How do I get out of this?
Any tips help or advice would be really grateful to hear.

 

[Megan12319990]

Hi all

Hope you are doing ok. I think the depression is coming back. That dark sinking feeling.

I was really ill in 2006 and SH.
I wouldn’t say I’m that level at the moment but I certainly don’t feel great and keep having fleeting thoughts of “why am I here” which scares me. ALot has happened over the last five years and to be honest I’m at breaking point.

I’m alone, a single parent. Toxic family members it’s all too much or rather it’s all catching up with me. I FEEL tired. I’m exhausted most days and just want to sleep the moment I wake up. I do work. Some days I don’t even know how I’m going to drag myself in and function but I do.
My weight is fluctuating. I lost 10kg and I’ve put on 2kg.
I comfort eat (a lot). I’ve just eaten half a block of cheese, crisps because food is comfort. Probably my only comfort.

Does this sound like depression or something more? I did see the GP a few months back but I am reluctant to try medication.

How do I get out of this?
Any tips help or advice would be really grateful to hear.

Hello, hope you are doing ok. It very much does sound like depression. I have a diagnosis of clinical depression and I'm on antidepressants ( sertraline ) for most likely rest of my life as I cannot be taken off them due to even worse depressive episodes without them. I would suggest seeing your GP again and possibly if you feel you can try some medication then to have a go even if it's just for a short term, also is there any talking therapies services in your area? As this may be something to look into. I myself have toxic family members and at the moment I'm finding it extremely difficult to deal with so I feel for you and completely understand the feeling of it, it's not nice. We can choose our friends but not our family isn't that right! I relapsed into self harming a few months ago - quite bad self harming unfortunately and my own mum told me it was " my choice " to do it. Since then I've had a very rocky relationship with my family. Anyhow I really hope you start to feel a bit better and brighter soon, I always look at it as tomorrow is a new day as it's all you can do. Also I hope I've helped you in some way - depression is possibly the worst invisible illness there could ever be and if I can help just one person then I'd be happy . Take care of yourself x

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

Depression is so insidious isn't it? I'm not on any medication. I discovered about five years ago I'm on the spectrum so have never been sure what is just me and what's depression. I have to take BP meds & statins so don't want any more pills in my system.
I'm struggling with mindless eating (mainly chocolate & sweets). I'm trying to avoid social media, the news etc as that makes me spiral down. I'm glad we can all offload here. Take care all.

 

[Dogtanian]

I hope that everyones doing ok.

A quick question for you all. I came back from an all inclusive holiday recently.
What’s everyone’s opinion on Sertraline and alcohol?
Avoid mixing like the plague? Ok in moderation? Or should be ok in general?
I had some weird experiences in that some days I was fine but others I felt like death

Spoiler: TMI

literally felt like I wanted to throw up and crap myself at the same time.

I know that everyone’s experiences will be different but I just wanted to know for the future in general.

 

[Megan12319990]

I hope that everyones doing ok.

A quick question for you all. I came back from an all inclusive holiday recently.
What’s everyone’s opinion on Sertraline and alcohol?
Avoid mixing like the plague? Ok in moderation? Or should be ok in general?
I had some weird experiences in that some days I was fine but others I felt like death

Spoiler: TMI

literally felt like I wanted to throw up and crap myself at the same time.

I know that everyone’s experiences will be different but I just wanted to know for the future in general.

So as said in above post I myself am on sertraline (200mg) so the highest dose. I normally avoid alcohol but I did a few months ago when I was going through a tough phase have some and afterwards felt sick and just generally unwell. Haven't bothered since x

 

[Ray_of_Sunshine]

I hope that everyones doing ok.

A quick question for you all. I came back from an all inclusive holiday recently.
What’s everyone’s opinion on Sertraline and alcohol?
Avoid mixing like the plague? Ok in moderation? Or should be ok in general?
I had some weird experiences in that some days I was fine but others I felt like death

Spoiler: TMI

literally felt like I wanted to throw up and crap myself at the same time.

I know that everyone’s experiences will be different but I just wanted to know for the future in general.

I was on 200mg of it for years and drank heavily over that time. Never really noticed any difference x

 

[Leafy Greens]

A sign my depression is getting worse or making a come back is when I wake up feeling really, really angry! I always feel better by the evenings but seriously, mornings are the absolute worse for me.

 

[flutternutter]

Do you think theres ever hope of overcoming depression? Ive been miserable since I was a kid. Each trauma I've had knocks me further down the hill. I try to work through it, im on my 5th counsellor now! Ive done cbt, im on sertraline. It feels like im in a video game or something where each battle knocks me down 10 health points and im only ever able to recover 8.

This latest episode isnt even worth being depressed about. I can logically see its a nonsense to feel this bad about, but as i was already at the bottom of the hill because of the LAST trauma, slowly crawling up. It feels like this has merely blown me back down and ive fallen.

I swing from being miserable about the issue to miserable about the fact im miserable. Its so disappointing when you fight it and it still takes over

 

[Carapop]

Do you think theres ever hope of overcoming depression? Ive been miserable since I was a kid. Each trauma I've had knocks me further down the hill. I try to work through it, im on my 5th counsellor now! Ive done cbt, im on sertraline. It feels like im in a video game or something where each battle knocks me down 10 health points and im only ever able to recover 8.

This latest episode isnt even worth being depressed about. I can logically see its a nonsense to feel this bad about, but as i was already at the bottom of the hill because of the LAST trauma, slowly crawling up. It feels like this has merely blown me back down and ive fallen.

I swing from being miserable about the issue to miserable about the fact im miserable. Its so disappointing when you fight it and it still takes over

Honestly I think some of us have to accept that we just naturally have a lower “happiness set point” than average. I think there’s some comfort in recognising that. Cherish the moments of joy. Try and find things to be grateful for. Finding a community of likeminded people here where you can share without judgment is something worthy of gratitude I think.

I hear you, though. Life can feel like an exercise in endurance, merely surviving, but not living. I think some of us are just predisposed to find life harder than it should be.

 

[flutternutter]

Honestly I think some of us have to accept that we just naturally have a lower “happiness set point” than average. I think there’s some comfort in recognising that. Cherish the moments of joy. Try and find things to be grateful for. Finding a community of likeminded people here where you can share without judgment is something worthy of gratitude I think.

I hear you, though. Life can feel like an exercise in endurance, merely surviving, but not living. I think some of us are just predisposed to find life harder than it should be.

Its just exhausting sometimes. My whole body is flat out noping me every day lol
I want to tidy the house, sort out my wardrobe etc but i just cant. Ive managed a pasta sauce for tea tonight but now im just lying in bed

 

[Carapop]

Its just exhausting sometimes. My whole body is flat out noping me every day lol
I want to tidy the house, sort out my wardrobe etc but i just cant. Ive managed a pasta sauce for tea tonight but now im just lying in bed

Make a list of five tasks every day that have to be done. Achievable small things. Tidying the house is enormous. Break it down. Clearing the floor and vacuuming. Cleaning the surfaces. A load of laundry. Emptying the sink. One thing at a time. It doesn’t have to be everything because then it will end up being nothing and you feel worse than ever. This way, with a task list, you get to tick items off and feel like you’ve achieved something and the day isn’t passing you by. Be kind to yourself, your doing your best x

 

[Bobbleowl90]

Not sure where to post this as I’m not depressed but suffer really badly with anxiety. I am my own worst enemy and go 100mph to the worst thought in my head.

I question everything. “Can I afford this” “do I really need to eat this”. I didn’t receive a response from someone close to me for over 12hours txt message and I worried sometbing bad had happened to them. I think this is the point I know I have a problem. Not sure what the point of this is but just needed to get it out.

 

[Carapop]

Not sure where to post this as I’m not depressed but suffer really badly with anxiety. I am my own worst enemy and go 100mph to the worst thought in my head.

I question everything. “Can I afford this” “do I really need to eat this”. I didn’t receive a response from someone close to me for over 12hours txt message and I worried sometbing bad had happened to them. I think this is the point I know I have a problem. Not sure what the point of this is but just needed to get it out.

Oh you darling. I hear you. Everything becomes based in fear. Maybe try and talk to your doctor. I have to rely on medication to quieten mine. It’s the only thing that worked. But it does work. It helps.

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

I find the only thing that truly can divorce me from my incessant thoughts is being creative, having to be present and concentrating on something hands on. During the nightmare of lockdown I finally conquered my fear of the dreaded sewing machine. I learned to, mostly badly, alter some clothes & make some of the easier things, sewing in a straight line etc. Listening to music, reading, radio etc triggers off think, think, think but focussing on making something really helps me anyway. I definitely recommend it.

 

[Laughingforlife]

Has anyone found that their depression has been called everything but what it actually is?!
Unless you explicitly tell someone "I think I'm depressed" they really don't get it, I've found.
I know it's because it's all in your head and mostly you seem fine to the outside world.
Last year, in August, I was told by a friend that my depression was "just the heat".
I'd been feeling terrible since the November. Yeah it was definitely the heat in December, wasn't it?!

 

[flutternutter]

Has anyone found that their depression has been called everything but what it actually is?!
Unless you explicitly tell someone "I think I'm depressed" they really don't get it, I've found.
I know it's because it's all in your head and mostly you seem fine to the outside world.
Last year, in August, I was told by a friend that my depression was "just the heat".
I'd been feeling terrible since the November. Yeah it was definitely the heat in December, wasn't it?!

People have been shocked when I've said I'm diagnosed depressed. As if they couldnt tell by the completely obvious symptoms...
I'm going through a bad time at the minute, off work sick and when i told my mother how I was feeling she was shocked that I was actually off sick with my depression because i WAS depressed...