The Depression Thread #2

[Laughingforlife]

People have been shocked when I've said I'm diagnosed depressed. As if they couldnt tell by the completely obvious symptoms...
I'm going through a bad time at the minute, off work sick and when i told my mother how I was feeling she was shocked that I was actually off sick with my depression because i WAS depressed...

Yes! People are always shocked. I'm sorry you're going through a hard time.
What's more, people think you're ungrateful. If you're depressed on holiday, the price around you say "you're in a beautiful place with good food. What more can we do for you?!"
Depression doesn't care where you are...

 

[flutternutter]

Yes! People are always shocked. I'm sorry you're going through a hard time.
What's more, people think you're ungrateful. If you're depressed on holiday, the price around you say "you're in a beautiful place with good food. What more can we do for you?!"
Depression doesn't care where you are...

Just smile... i wish! I genuinely wish i could wake up and be happy and carefree!!! In better news, I did a fair bit of house work today so that's made me feel like I've achieved something with my time! I think this is part of the issue. You take time off to get better, but you're too depressed to do anything productive so you feel MORE depressed i just really want to have the energy to go for a walk or sit outdoors

 

[Ray_of_Sunshine]

Yes! People are always shocked. I'm sorry you're going through a hard time.
What's more, people think you're ungrateful. If you're depressed on holiday, the price around you say "you're in a beautiful place with good food. What more can we do for you?!"
Depression doesn't care where you are...

Omg THIS!! My mum is really rubbing me up the wrong way at the mo with things like this. It’s really unhelpful “What now?” “what’s happened now?” “I thought we were past this” “You’ve got to be/think positive”

You just feel like a big duck off burden and like oh ok let me just switch it on. Silly me! I’ve told her if one more person tells me to snap out of it and be positive I’ll ram their head through a wall

 

[flutternutter]

Really struggling with my mood at the moment. My house is a tip, Im not staying on top of myself. I just want to roll over and it all go away tbh. Life feels so hard sometimes. It's exhausting.
I have counselling today and even that i just cant be arsed with. I dont feel like anyone can help me, theres so much pain inside me and my luck is terrible, the worst things always happen to me and ppl bullshit you with "god tests the strongest people"
Well i dont believe in god and im not strong

 

[mochibean]

I am so tired, can't stop sleeping and eating crap. I feel so down I've been trying to run from this inevitable depression and I've burnt myself out whilst doing so.

 

[Elliesmum13]

I think I’m done! I’m exhausted in my head.

 

[influenzainfluencer]

Day one on sertraline, any tips welcome

 

[flutternutter]

Day one on sertraline, any tips welcome

Just hang on in there. I started on 50mg and my first 2 weeks were awful. I was anxious. I couldnt sleep. Then i slept too much. All while sweating profusely. I had night terrors. I felt insane!

 

[Lord Voldemort]

Day one on sertraline, any tips welcome

stick with it, be prepared to potentially feel worse before you feel better.

 

[Dogtanian]

Day one on sertraline, any tips welcome

There's a thread on Sertraline here, it may be of use (?)

Experiences with setraline

I developed a weird tremor in my right arm when I was on sertraline. I notice it come on when I was anxious or thinking about something. I stopped noticing it after a while but my partner noticed it all the time and when he was hugging me or something my arm was jerking into his. It was like a...

tattle.life

I've had a few side effects, my dosage has increased from 50 to 100 mg so all the side effects I had when I first went onto the medication have re-emerged. I guess I'll get over them soon but it's frustrating at the moment.

 

[influenzainfluencer]

There's a thread on Sertraline here, it may be of use (?)

Experiences with setraline

I developed a weird tremor in my right arm when I was on sertraline. I notice it come on when I was anxious or thinking about something. I stopped noticing it after a while but my partner noticed it all the time and when he was hugging me or something my arm was jerking into his. It was like a...

tattle.life

I've had a few side effects, my dosage has increased from 50 to 100 mg so all the side effects I had when I first went onto the medication have re-emerged. I guess I'll get over them soon but it's frustrating at the moment.

Thank you for this, I must have missed the separate thread when I was looking. I hope you feel better again soon 🩵

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

Anyone ever take Seroxat? I was prescribed it years ago. Every night the dreams were apocalypse themed. Fluorescent radio active body parts scattered on desolate empty streets. I used to say every night was movie night with technicolor dreams. Awful. Plus electrical zaps in the brain. I couldn't tolerate them. I'm not sure really how much ADs help an ADHD brain. I took Fluoxitine and first time I was amazed to actually feel ok in my own skin but it wore off after time.

 

[FlipFlop0706]

Hi everyone.
Depression has utterly kicked my arse for years now and today is the final kick in the teeth.

Long story but Ive been studying via distance learning for a masters degree. Initially, the thought process for doing a masters would be that it would be good for me. I was hoping that I could basically push myself and achieve something in the hope it would raise my self esteem and show that I’m not stupid. Largely to start with, it was a good idea. I got out of my own head and had something to focus on and whilst not exactly excelling, I was passing the assignments.

So now, I’ve managed to get to the end and now just need to submit a dissertation to claim my masters but within the last year my mh has just completely plummeted again. As a result, I’ve had to take loads of leaves of absences as my mh has just been so low that I haven’t been able to sleep let alone concentrate. A few months ago, Uni got back in touch saying my leave of absence is now up and my deadline is on Tuesday to submit my dissertation.

So I’ve been working on it as best I can but today with the deadline looming I’ve just had a complete breakdown and just come to the end point where I have to accept that I can’t finish my masters. I just can’t do it with my mental health as it is. Everything I’ve written so far is just a complete mess and makes no sense. It won’t pass. I can’t ask for another leave of absence. So basically I’m at the pivotal end point and having to give up which just feels like another thing I’ve failed at. I’ve put everything i have left in to this and then failed at the most important part. I’ve wasted all those years as well as well as got myself into more student finance debt in the process which is so stupid.

Not sure why I’m putting this all here but I just needed to put it somewhere. I need to tell my tutor that I’m giving up but just the thought of doing that really hurts. I don’t want to deal with any of it. All I want to do is just hide away in bed. I’m just sick of trying so bloody hard all the time and then failing at the last hurdle.
I feel like I’ve set myself up for all this as well. I didn’t have to do this. All it’s done is prove how useless I am and how stupid I was to even think I could do this.

 

[blueblue]

Hi everyone.
Depression has utterly kicked my arse for years now and today is the final kick in the teeth.

Long story but Ive been studying via distance learning for a masters degree. Initially, the thought process for doing a masters would be that it would be good for me. I was hoping that I could basically push myself and achieve something in the hope it would raise my self esteem and show that I’m not stupid. Largely to start with, it was a good idea. I got out of my own head and had something to focus on and whilst not exactly excelling, I was passing the assignments.

So now, I’ve managed to get to the end and now just need to submit a dissertation to claim my masters but within the last year my mh has just completely plummeted again. As a result, I’ve had to take loads of leaves of absences as my mh has just been so low that I haven’t been able to sleep let alone concentrate. A few months ago, Uni got back in touch saying my leave of absence is now up and my deadline is on Tuesday to submit my dissertation.

So I’ve been working on it as best I can but today with the deadline looming I’ve just had a complete breakdown and just come to the end point where I have to accept that I can’t finish my masters. I just can’t do it with my mental health as it is. Everything I’ve written so far is just a complete mess and makes no sense. It won’t pass. I can’t ask for another leave of absence. So basically I’m at the pivotal end point and having to give up which just feels like another thing I’ve failed at. I’ve put everything i have left in to this and then failed at the most important part. I’ve wasted all those years as well as well as got myself into more student finance debt in the process which is so stupid.

Not sure why I’m putting this all here but I just needed to put it somewhere. I need to tell my tutor that I’m giving up but just the thought of doing that really hurts. I don’t want to deal with any of it. All I want to do is just hide away in bed. I’m just sick of trying so bloody hard all the time and then failing at the last hurdle.
I feel like I’ve set myself up for all this as well. I didn’t have to do this. All it’s done is prove how useless I am and how stupid I was to even think I could do this.

Can you ask for academic suspension and return when you're up to it? I think you'd have a strong case with documented absences x

 

[no-no]

Hi everyone.
Depression has utterly kicked my arse for years now and today is the final kick in the teeth.

Long story but Ive been studying via distance learning for a masters degree. Initially, the thought process for doing a masters would be that it would be good for me. I was hoping that I could basically push myself and achieve something in the hope it would raise my self esteem and show that I’m not stupid. Largely to start with, it was a good idea. I got out of my own head and had something to focus on and whilst not exactly excelling, I was passing the assignments.

So now, I’ve managed to get to the end and now just need to submit a dissertation to claim my masters but within the last year my mh has just completely plummeted again. As a result, I’ve had to take loads of leaves of absences as my mh has just been so low that I haven’t been able to sleep let alone concentrate. A few months ago, Uni got back in touch saying my leave of absence is now up and my deadline is on Tuesday to submit my dissertation.

So I’ve been working on it as best I can but today with the deadline looming I’ve just had a complete breakdown and just come to the end point where I have to accept that I can’t finish my masters. I just can’t do it with my mental health as it is. Everything I’ve written so far is just a complete mess and makes no sense. It won’t pass. I can’t ask for another leave of absence. So basically I’m at the pivotal end point and having to give up which just feels like another thing I’ve failed at. I’ve put everything i have left in to this and then failed at the most important part. I’ve wasted all those years as well as well as got myself into more student finance debt in the process which is so stupid.

Not sure why I’m putting this all here but I just needed to put it somewhere. I need to tell my tutor that I’m giving up but just the thought of doing that really hurts. I don’t want to deal with any of it. All I want to do is just hide away in bed. I’m just sick of trying so bloody hard all the time and then failing at the last hurdle.
I feel like I’ve set myself up for all this as well. I didn’t have to do this. All it’s done is prove how useless I am and how stupid I was to even think I could do this.

Are you a bit reluctant to submit anything because you feel like you’ve not excelled as you’d like and this is all a bit final? Not trying to be presumptuous. Obviously you go in with expectations but sometimes completing it is good enough and you have shown you’re capable by passing assignments. The grade isn’t significant in most fields. There’s time to take a breather, as well as regular breaks and tackle it, believe me

Is there anyone who can read over parts for you? They don’t have to be knowledgeable on the subject. Even just talking it through with a ‘layperson’ can help. Have you submitted any drafts to your tutor? Could you get any further days with an extenuating circumstances form? I’m sure there also used to be ways you could get discretionary postponement. Good luck!

 

[doodlebug]

I’m after some advice on how to take time off work for depression. My work in particular really exacerbates my depression and it’s got to the point where I can’t even get up in the morning and come into the office. I’ve called in sick for a single day, but I know I need at least a week to sort myself out. I know you can technically call in sick for 7 days before you need a doctors note, but I’d almost prefer having one so I don’t have to do that because I feel embarrassed. I did tell all this to my GP but he just said unless it’s more than 7 days I need off, just to call in like I would with a physical illness. Have any of you simply told your work you’re struggling with mental health and will be off for a few days?

 

[Quarrantinemadness]

I’m after some advice on how to take time off work for depression. My work in particular really exacerbates my depression and it’s got to the point where I can’t even get up in the morning and come into the office. I’ve called in sick for a single day, but I know I need at least a week to sort myself out. I know you can technically call in sick for 7 days before you need a doctors note, but I’d almost prefer having one so I don’t have to do that because I feel embarrassed. I did tell all this to my GP but he just said unless it’s more than 7 days I need off, just to call in like I would with a physical illness. Have any of you simply told your work you’re struggling with mental health and will be off for a few days?

Yes, but also I’ve told my doctor how awkward my work are and that I needed signing off from the get go, they’ve always provided me a note in that situation. Or you could ring work and tell them you need to take sick leave for the week due to your MH, and make it clear you won’t be ringing them every single day. Having to do that will just make you feel worse in my experience. If they insist you need to ring everyday tell them you’ll ring your GP for a note as that’s putting you under stress that you don’t need xx

 

[doodlebug]

Yes, but also I’ve told my doctor how awkward my work are and that I needed signing off from the get go, they’ve always provided me a note in that situation. Or you could ring work and tell them you need to take sick leave for the week due to your MH, and make it clear you won’t be ringing them every single day. Having to do that will just make you feel worse in my experience. If they insist you need to ring everyday tell them you’ll ring your GP for a note as that’s putting you under stress that you don’t need xx

Thank you. What would you typically say in your out of office reply? Just that you’re out and will be back on X date? But then I worry what if I’m not back by then…

 

[flutternutter]

Thank you. What would you typically say in your out of office reply? Just that you’re out and will be back on X date? But then I worry what if I’m not back by then…

Im off for this very reason. I havent put a date to return

 

[FlipFlop0706]

Can you ask for academic suspension and return when you're up to it? I think you'd have a strong case with documented absences x

I’ve had multiple leaves of absences now. So much so that I doubt they’ll me grant a suspension as I need to have completed the dissertation within a certain number of years to get the masters which I’m likely coming up to now. Plus whilst the leaves of absences have been helpful for my mh, they’ve not been that helpful in that they’ve allowed me to put my dissertation completely on the back burner so then when I do finally come back to it, I get completely overwhelmed, or find half or what I have written is too outdated to use which then sends me back to square one again.
---

Are you a bit reluctant to submit anything because you feel like you’ve not excelled as you’d like and this is all a bit final? Not trying to be presumptuous. Obviously you go in with expectations but sometimes completing it is good enough and you have shown you’re capable by passing assignments. The grade isn’t significant in most fields. There’s time to take a breather, as well as regular breaks and tackle it, believe me

Is there anyone who can read over parts for you? They don’t have to be knowledgeable on the subject. Even just talking it through with a ‘layperson’ can help. Have you submitted any drafts to your tutor? Could you get any further days with an extenuating circumstances form? I’m sure there also used to be ways you could get discretionary postponement. Good luck!

I get what you are saying but weirdly no? I couldn’t care less about excelling anymore. I’m completely over it and regret I ever started it. I just want it gone now so I don’t have to deal with it anymore. Ideally I would like to scrape a pass as I don’t have it in me to resubmit. What I find really frustrating is I’m at the point now of either not submitting or submitting knowing it will fail. And that’s not me thinking with my depression hat on where I’m stupid at everything, realistically it won’t and should not pass as it is from looking at the grading structure.

My course is via distance learning and because I’ve had multiple leaves of absence I’ve now got a new tutor who I have never been in touch with before. Im assuming my old tutor informed him of my mh but so far via email he hasn’t been very helpful when I’ve tried to seek support. That or he tends to go on holidays whenever I have hit a submission deadline so is not contactable during the most pivotal time.

I really struggled with asking someone to proofread but when I finally did, they were really honest with me and said they lost interest reading it as my field of study is a bit dry and boring which I completely understand.

So really my choice is either submit and then deal with the inevitable fail or throw in the towel and quit before I fail which is tit as well. Part of me feels like I should just submit as what have I got to lose either way but I just don’t want to open an email with fail on it as it will just confirm everything I already think about myself and make me go further into a downward spiral.

I have until Tuesday to decide what I’m going to do but right now my head just feels like mush and im completely lacking any motivation. I’m going to try and keep working on it but all I want to do is hide in bed and sleep so I dont have to deal with any of it.