The Depression Thread #2

[bamboo98]

I talked with my therapist again today. I still don’t feel like she is helping since I don’t know the reason for my bad mental health. She did pick up on my forgetfulness and brain fog, which is even noticeable in our appointments because I forget what her question was by the time she has finished it sometimes.
she said it could be from my pasta trauma which makes sense. I feel like today was the first breakthrough with her but I only have 3 appointments left so I don’t know what happens after that.

I need to speak to my doctor again later this week to discuss meds, ssri’s are just not working but he wanted to wait until this prescription is done with which is Friday.

 

[MrsBsDayOff]

I ran out of meds on Friday and didn't have time to get to the pharmacy to get the next batch. Thought I'd be fine but jesus I crashed on Sunday, and felt awful today, just picked up my prescription now. It was really stupid of me, I feel really low, crying for hours today. Feeling so lonely and like I don't matter to anyone, thank god my partner is here to make me dinner and look after me. I've taken my meds now so hopefully better tomorrow

 

[bamboo98]

I ran out of meds on Friday and didn't have time to get to the pharmacy to get the next batch. Thought I'd be fine but jesus I crashed on Sunday, and felt awful today, just picked up my prescription now. It was really stupid of me, I feel really low, crying for hours today. Feeling so lonely and like I don't matter to anyone, thank god my partner is here to make me dinner and look after me. I've taken my meds now so hopefully better tomorrow

I hope you feel better soon
Can you use an online pharmacy? I’ve used one for a few months now and they get posted through my letterbox, they send me a reminder to order the prescription too which is handy.

 

[MrsBsDayOff]

I hope you feel better soon
Can you use an online pharmacy? I’ve used one for a few months now and they get posted through my letterbox, they send me a reminder to order the prescription too which is handy.

Thanks. I use a small local pharmacy which has limited hours. I didn't know you can get prescriptions posted, will try xxx

I had strange thoughts today like thinking of quitting my job, thinking no one likes me, fretting I won't get another job, thinking that all my friends are leaving my life. My partner had to calm me down and remind me that I don't feel like that when on my meds. I'm not and have never been suicidal or self harmed

 

[Fanny Muchmore]

First counselling session yesterday - all a bit last minute as it was a cancellation, only got word at 8:30pm Monday night. Spent the whole session filling out the relevent paperwork and still didn't get it all done.

Thankfully this one was the 'introduction' and isn't taken out of my 6 sessions'.

 

[ilovepizza21]

@ilovepizza21 we’re here when you’re ready. You don’t need to explain why you were in hospital, or what happened, if you don’t want to or feel able.

Just know that we’re here. No judgement. Just understanding xx

Hey Polly..... so basically tit hit the fan with my son again with him hitting me was covered in brusies back was just as bad, luckily my tattoos hid alot.... again his dad was no help yet threatened him with driving down to take away his trainers away from him as school called him because he keeps taking them in... yet when he hits me it's fine.... there was other issues too... but for a while now i stopped eating and if I did eat I made myself sick yet was still pushing myself so much at the gym so while I was running I blacked out and feel of the treadmill so they called ambulance and hospital is where i stayed for about a while because I was refusing to eat.... had a infection but wouldn't let them put a iv in for antibiotics I was basically being a pain because I was at that breaking point.... I'm still refusing to take my antidepressants because I hate how they make me feel.

I'm getting better and my bad episode is coming out the other side but for how long I don't know. Thankyou for thinking of me I hope your doing okay & everyone else. Sending all you struggling at the moment hugs 🫂

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Hey Polly..... so basically tit hit the fan with my son again with him hitting me was covered in brusies back was just as bad, luckily my tattoos hid alot.... again his dad was no help yet threatened him with driving down to take away his trainers away from him as school called him because he keeps taking them in... yet when he hits me it's fine.... there was other issues too... but for a while now i stopped eating and if I did eat I made myself sick yet was still pushing myself so much at the gym so while I was running I blacked out and feel of the treadmill so they called ambulance and hospital is where i stayed for about a while because I was refusing to eat.... had a infection but wouldn't let them put a iv in for antibiotics I was basically being a pain because I was at that breaking point.... I'm still refusing to take my antidepressants because I hate how they make me feel.

I'm getting better and my bad episode is coming out the other side but for how long I don't know. Thankyou for thinking of me I hope your doing okay & everyone else. Sending all you struggling at the moment hugs 🫂

Your son needs to be reported to the police. This won’t get any better. It will get worse. What’s next - him beating his sister? Abusing a girlfriend?

 

[JellyWobbles]

Kind of a mini update and vent from me.

so they took me off aripiprazole and agreed to put me on quetiapine, 25mg in morning, 50mg at night with all my other meds as usual.
It’s been about three weeks on them and I feel absolutely tit. At first I didn’t notice any difference at all, apart from a deeper sleep.. now i feel like im nosediving very fast, what doesn’t help is my youngest doesn’t sleep very well and during the times she sleeps so little it triggers my mood to worsen, so that doesn’t help.

I really don’t want to call the secretary again, I just can’t face it. I actually feel like stopping taking everything, I won’t, but I feel like it because everything im trying just isn’t working and im treading water to seem okay on the surface so much,but struggling like crazy underneath.

I don’t know what more I can say really. I just want to be better and I feel like it’s getting further and further out of reach. My next outpatient check in is in October

 

[Maid22]

Am having a bad time at the mo, but don't feel like I can chat in here, I really don't want flippant responses, sending to you guys who need it x

 

[Pollyanna263]

Am having a bad time at the mo, but don't feel like I can chat in here, I really don't want flippant responses, sending to you guys who need it x

Hi lovely, I’m happy to read and reply if you feel able to share xx

 

[Fanny Muchmore]

Also having a rough ride.

It hurts when you find out that the people you thought were your friends really don't care about you at all.

 

[Maid22]

Hi lovely, I’m happy to read and reply if you feel able to share xx

Thank you, had a bad night and the joys of insomnia, so was up silly o'clock and took the dog for a long walk, was really nice, and has helped me abit.
How's things with you?

@Fanny Muchmore I can totally relate about the friends not caring, it's upsetting, years down the line, I only have one, but sometimes she's not been there for me either, I've learnt the hard way not to trust anyone. Hope you're feeling better today .

 

[Fanny Muchmore]

Thanks @Maid22 - my best friend feels like the only one I can trust, but the rest of the people in my supposed 'friend group' have shown their true colours.

 

[newaccount2022]

Went to meet some friends from an old job and their partners. Lasted one drink/an hour and walked home in a daze at half 8. I think I need to come to terms with the fact alcohol does not agree with me anymore. I feel like I could’ve walked out of that pub and straight into the ocean and nobody would notice for days. I feel so low and so distant from everyone. In bed now but going to try and eat something and read a bit of my book.

 

[Maid22]

Thanks @Maid22 - my best friend feels like the only one I can trust, but the rest of the people in my supposed 'friend group' have shown their true colours.

I don't speak to any of my family either, they are narcissistic and toxic, been over 10 years now, best decision I've ever made, a distant relative will text me when there's a death!! But in reality, I've only my oh, and if anything happened to him, I'm on my own, I'll probably end up dying in my home and no one would know for weeks.

 

[Jadejones9596]

I'm in a very dark place

Ive been single for 10 years, im 32. Whilst I see everyone around me create happy families and do lovely things with their partners I have been alone. Guys show me a bit of attention but either ghost me or leave after a couple of months
My dad chose my abusive step mother over me as a teenager and recently i was diagnosed with body dysmorphia and severe depression.
I had come along way and been discharged by the mental health service but after finding out the last guy I was seeing who told me he wasn't ready for a relationship is seeing someone I just dont think I can cope anymore.
I hate my life, I feel miserable and trapped. I have good friends but it's so hard to tell them you're at the end of your rope and your life feels worthless when they all thought you were better and are probably tired of having to help you and support you.
I dont know what to do anymore, I'll never find love and my life will always be pointless. I'll always be plagued with depression and I just dont know what to do.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I'm in a very dark place

Ive been single for 10 years, im 32. Whilst I see everyone around me create happy families and do lovely things with their partners I have been alone. Guys show me a bit of attention but either ghost me or leave after a couple of months
My dad chose my abusive step mother over me as a teenager and recently i was diagnosed with body dysmorphia and severe depression.
I had come along way and been discharged by the mental health service but after finding out the last guy I was seeing who told me he wasn't ready for a relationship is seeing someone I just dont think I can cope anymore.
I hate my life, I feel miserable and trapped. I have good friends but it's so hard to tell them you're at the end of your rope and your life feels worthless when they all thought you were better and are probably tired of having to help you and support you.
I dont know what to do anymore, I'll never find love and my life will always be pointless. I'll always be plagued with depression and I just dont know what to do.

You are only 32. You are so young!


You need to stop placing responsibility of your own happiness into the hands of men. You can have have a perfectly happy, fulfilling life that you enjoy as a single person. Being in a relationship doesn’t automatically equate to being happy. It’s impossible

You said you’ve recently been diagnosed with serious depression but that you’ve been signed off by the mental health services? That doesn’t sound right. If you’ve just had that diagnosis then why have you been signed off???

You need to go back to your GP or contact your MH team - explain that you are not feeling fine and that you need help.


Please reach out to a friend - they will want to be there for you so just drop a message or something to them.

 

[ilovepizza21]

Your son needs to be reported to the police. This won’t get any better. It will get worse. What’s next - him beating his sister? Abusing a girlfriend?

Not really a helpful comment tbh and I have thanks....

Am having a bad time at the mo, but don't feel like I can chat in here, I really don't want flippant responses, sending to you guys who need it x

I know how you feel with regards to this... I think I just stick to keeping things bottled. Sending you hugs x

 

[bamboo98]

I finally told my gp that my medication wasn’t doing anything to help me and he didn’t quite believe me since I’ve tried 3 other ssri and they didn’t help either
I have to taper of the citalopram and then make a new appointment to discuss what to try next. It’s been 3 years of different medications that aren’t working so I’m thinking is there even any point of going for something else to suffer side effects but risk them not helping me.

 

[Pollyanna263]

I finally told my gp that my medication wasn’t doing anything to help me and he didn’t quite believe me since I’ve tried 3 other ssri and they didn’t help either
I have to taper of the citalopram and then make a new appointment to discuss what to try next. It’s been 3 years of different medications that aren’t working so I’m thinking is there even any point of going for something else to suffer side effects but risk them not helping me.

SSRI didn’t help me at all, I moved to SNRI which I’ve been on a long time and am now about to move to a tricyclic on Psychiatrist advice to see if it helps in other ways.

If your GP isn’t confident in the NICE guidelines, ask to see someone else who has a more up-to-date interest in MH prescribing or to be referred to the community MH team.

There are many options - don’t be fobbed off x