The Chateau Diaries #312 Stephanie Jarvis, you stupid girl, why is your Patreon account "under review"?!

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Maybe why she never drives!
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I love Elvis. And his human!
Opioids and alcohol are not a good idea.
Snorts beard grows quickly or they stayed more than one night in the hotel.
Those tea knives Fanny said were butter knives, no.
Fannysplaining about the silver marks but got them wrong…
Watch out for Snorts hunting for a paucillin bread basket now.

Fish knives and forks only twelve…why bother ,one mouthful and the fish portion they serve is devoured.
More things for dishcloth Dave to hand wash.

Who uses hotel towels to dry the dog.

My doggie has his own weekend bag with all the things he needs in it from his brush to his towel.



Bread plate bath blah bread plate blah blah. Again Fanny you don’t know how to lay a table, provide good food or use the cutlery correctly and worse have no manners.
 
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The notion that Phillip the jobless nonce treated them to that hotel stay is just laughable. He is a minimum wager at best, what does he actually do work one 1 hour three times week setting the table. Someone in his demographic and wage bracket tends to say at a hostel.
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Opioids and alcohol are not a good idea.
Snorts beard grows quickly or they stayed more than one night in the hotel.
Those tea knives Fanny said were butter knives, no.
Fannysplaining about the silver marks but got them wrong…
Watch out for Snorts hunting for a paucillin bread basket now.

Fish knives and forks only twelve…why bother ,one mouthful and the fish portion they serve is devoured.
More things for dishcloth Dave to hand wash.

Who uses hotel towels to dry the dog.

My doggie has his own weekend bag with all the things he needs in it from his brush to his towel.



Bread plate bath blah bread plate blah blah. Again Fanny you don’t know how to lay a table, provide good food or use the cutlery correctly and worse have no manners.
she's a pleb

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@deanviewofachateaumybandbi7899
1 minute ago
Lovely a nice wet dog in the hotel room. Storage on those auction lots must cost a fortune.
 
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I wish that were the case as it would be just one more way that she can't take care of herself by replacing buttons (or not losing them in the first place). It's actually one of the many versions of the ubiquitous Somerset dress from Anthropologie, from last year or maybe the year before? I have one that I got at an end of season sale, a year or two ago and while I really like it, it's a pet peeve of mine, since I'm not like Stephanie and don't like having my boobies out for everyone to see. There are no buttons!

Maybe this year, Stephanie should buy one of Chateau Love's cameos or Wedgwood brooches and fasten it closed with that? (I actually took a Velcro adhesive dot and stuck it smack in the middle of the placket and it seems to be working).

This is from their website from this year that is sold out.
This doesn't appear to have the same cutout embroidery detail on the sleeves and hem as Fanny's dress, also the front opening is much lower on her dress (of course!). They are very similar but I don't think they are identical. I might be wrong.

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Best guess - All the footage in bed complaining of a bad back simply allowed Fanny to cobble together old footage while they were really away travelling this week. She may have a dodgy back and hip and be on meds, but it’s not preventing Fanny from travelling, only from doing work.
Her nails are the ones she had done in London?

Snorts is wearing one of Fanny’s rings again.
 

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Thanks for the new thread @ComtesseRose ❤

Who would admit to washing their dog in a hotel sink, let alone film it. Can you imagine what the hotel would say ? Not a good advert for them is it 😱 Fanny & Snorys are truly nuts 🤪
Lancelot is not amused either
 

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This makes sense now…..no continuity problems if she’s in bed and doesn't film……cunning.
meanwhile the pair of them are getting more Grey Gardens by the minute…..driving to pick up fish cutlery and a scarf……
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Sleeves are flattering after a certain age.. and dresses that don't open to the navel on old Hags...
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Can I just say I endorse every post about the latest disgusting, spending display trip - started quoting you all but had rewritten the page basically so no need. 3,000 Patreons are watching these two spend their donated money staying at de Luxe hotels, eating/drinking their way through the menus, the twit STILL amassing rubbish on their dime & pigging out on ice cream & booze in bed. How revolting has it all become?
Watched the Pethericks after a long pause bc Mr Moon was in it - love their channel & no danger of them eating horsemeat - & was surprised at how Billy has slimmed down. I hope he has not cheated there as well with photo-shopping. (his head seemed smaller too 🤔)but has really made an effort? Anyhow the point I wanted to make was Michael was in it & reminded me how charming & chatty he is & how much lighter & amusing the vlogs used to be. I'm even getting nostalgic for jumpy Hanni - she was quick, helpful & just quietly paid for stuff out of her OWN money. Now quirky Mason too..he had an allure ...had his own life/funds & took the piss out of Fanny. Well, I could go on comparing anyone who had been at the Shitoo to the official absolute Sham Fiance. Oh Olly too, never came back though.
I was looking at the map, and aren't Ollie & Camilla reasonably close to Ton & Oncle? (All things considered).. If they don't go visit then clearly that's another friendship on the rubble heap. She does go through them doesn't she though?
 
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I remember Hanni diving onto her bed like a 5 year old on their visit and Mummy going wild over toiletries
After watching a few minutes of that, what strikes me is how much more natural, and happy they all were. They are genuinely enjoying a girls trip away and appreciating their surroundings, as opposed to traveling with Snorts, who hits the ice cream shop and the grocery store for ice cream and the wine shop, then hits the bed with his ice cream tub and wine in the hotel robe... and his dirty arse touching it as 100 others have done before.. (((shudders)))
 
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ComtesseRose, you were so on target describing Stephanie‘s fake engagement ring as being a Mentos ring. The color and shape match perfectly.




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Sleeves are flattering after a certain age.. and dresses that don't open to the navel on old Hags...
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I was looking at the map, and aren't Ollie & Camilla reasonably close to Ton & Oncle? (All things considered).. If they don't go visit then clearly that's another friendship on the rubble heap. She does go through them doesn't she though?
Maybe 3 hours
 
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Sleeves are flattering after a certain age.. and dresses that don't open to the navel on old Hags...
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I was looking at the map, and aren't Ollie & Camilla reasonably close to Ton & Oncle? (All things considered).. If they don't go visit then clearly that's another friendship on the rubble heap. She does go through them doesn't she though?
I think it is ca. 3 hrs 45 min. to Ollie's from Agde.Whatever.
 
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Talking of rings or rather the empty engagement one, apart from being the most crass, offensive present anyone could give bc rings are not sold empty as the setting claws would be upright with an unfinished look, so second-hand with -'Granny' or brocante taking the stone out and discarding the mount to melt down the gold which looked pretty thin. I have a jeweller friend who has piles of these 'pre-loved' items that people bring in to get the value of the gold. Still with me? And let's say that's a gaping hole to fill with a decent diamond & surround, even for Fanny's deep pockets. Doubt we'll see a trip to Antwerp, the global hub of the diamond industry even if it's on Snorts' doorstep.
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Or faster if you'e thrashing someone else's Porsche and any speeding tickets go to the owner's address.
...and with the promise of another luxury hotel stay en route, upgraded, natch.
 
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This doesn't appear to have the same cutout embroidery detail on the sleeves and hem as Fanny's dress, also the front opening is much lower on her dress (of course!). They are very similar but I don't think they are identical. I might be wrong.

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I wonder if the white dress Fanny is currently wearing is perhaps a Souleiado dress , purchased when she and Mummy visited the factory pre-Snorty. Souleiado did have white dresses on display. Fanny walked out with a bucket look of packages on that factory visit + Mummy purchased a bag.
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