The Chateau Diaries #305 2 containers full of junk and off to the brocante to buy more. Weeee!

[TorontoGWM]

The gay fiancé stayed up all night staring at the Aurora Borealis.

p.s. That’s a costume jewellery term from way back. Sherman made very good (now sought after) Aurora Borealis jewellery - like carnival glass.

 

[Hedda Hopper]

It's so telling that Fanny used the term Arctic Circle as a travel destination, that's very misleading. So where exactly did she go? Finland, Sweden, Iceland, Russia, Alaska, Greenland, Canada or Norway? She likes to present it as she was hobnobbing with polar bears by omitting information. It reminds me of people that say that have been to this country or that country when all they did was go through the airport in said country. She's so full of herself. And why mention that her slippers got wet? So? What's that got to do with anything, other than her stupidity of not wearing proper footwear.
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[billybudd]

While FRK did not use gloves to plate the food (probably wiping her runny nose between assembling courses), she did use a bag to make the forking pavlovas (my God- how many times can she make a pavlova in this month? Why not just bake a damn cake for a change! Was it wrong @billybudd I hoped that bag contained buttercream frosting to go atop a cake?!? SMH!) Fanny pulease- the "perfect guest experience" is eschewing your terrible overpriced lodging and dining options for a Novotel and to eat local. No one wants to stay at your sketchy, hazardous overpriced Shitoo that you rave about being "armazing" just to meet you and Sir Snortsalot for an overpriced sad dinner. There are so many better Chateaux to stay at nearby. Even the promise of unwashed Yves Delorme towels cannot gloss over the fact those showers are going to be cold, and the chef has obviously contracted whatever respiratory illness Fanny has contracted on her many travels as of late. People are wisening up.

I'm thinking about what the food Marie serves conveys, aside from Jarvis' thrill in expressing contempt for her guests and crotch-flashing her Patreon-funded granny porn earrings in their faces. Not unrelated, packing up all her father's art books and storing them in mildew incubators.
There's real mayhem being committed here, on Marie and so much more.*
Aaaaaaaaaanyway, trying to think of what story Marie thinks her pavlovas every night tells. Can't get past the incoherence and slavery.
And the miracle it would be, as you, dear @T Rex. an actual human and generous host, even unto the doggies, suggest. if Marie's pastry bag were ever to be filled with the buttercream of human kindness.
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*Please note, one of the reasons I loved @Clara Burnett is because she knew that Dante, in the Inferno, places hosts who betray their guests at the very pit of hell, far below mass murderers and sodomites, in the ring just above Satan's own. These damned souls are the only ones in hell whose bodies are still alive on earth, as the minute they betray their guests, their souls descend to Ptolomea "as their bodies are possessed by demons (Inf. 33.124-47)." Their sin is treachery, or compound fraud, with pupils who betray their teachers (Judas) at the very pit of hell. Just below teachers who betray their pupils. The reason, I was taught, centuries ago, is the breaking of the laws of love/hospitality/breaking bread/communion: Treachery is the abuse of privileged access.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

There you go again . . . ancient wizened ball sack.

They both have suspect taste. When they were looking at the Haviland china at the start and she says they're 'such fun' . . . I thought that's such ugly shit.
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With a good amount of flicking hair behind her ear . . . she always does this when she is uncomfortable or lying.

Everything they point out is ghastly. She has the taste of a gypsy with he penchant for twee little vases featuring cherubs and prints featuring what she thinks is classy it is so chocolate box. I am currently reading a book by Ben Penreath the interior designer and architect and he is talking about what makes a chic interior and it is a relaxed nonchalant style and COMFORT. He actually says people think that making something look classy is often mistakenly to put in gilded furniture and gold because they want to make it look luxurious and conversely he says the opposite is true. Comfort and not trying too hard is what creates that inherent sense of style and luxury and that is usually a really comfortable sofa and a home filled with things people love rather than being stuffed with things they think they should like. Don't get me started on Snorts he is a style bypass.

 

[JackSpratt]

Over toward Noirmoutier this evening.

 

[FecilitéJ]

Holy shit - Dan has a bunch of puppies... if I saw correctly 7 (or 6 or 8 ). And he didn't even know the dog was pregnant. Hopefully the other one doesn't become a mother too, otherwise he can open an animal shelter soon.

There will be a lot of puppy content and therefore a lot of views and likes... and I already know who won't be happy about it.

Hopefully no one gets the stupid idea that another dog is needed in the land of lies. But Molly would certainly be happy to have a real dog buddy. It remains exciting.

Yeah, I counted 7 too. Just what you need in a building zone. Clearly he hasn't got either dog spayed either. The irresponsibility of these folks around animals in unbelievable. Hopefully he will now get them both spayed ‍

 

[Just Grift Wood]

Thanks @ComtesseRose if Fanny was 25% as efficient as you the dump would be structurally sound by now.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

Shipping the naff tut Snorts selected to go to SA would be more than the goods. He is not only profligate, sulky, avaricious, covetous he had exceptionally bad taste in paintings and everything really. Note that he had the most expensive dish on last nights menu of course he did because he doesn't pay fr the ghetti.

The atmosphere between Aunty and Fanny seemed a little bit strained I think Amaury has had a chance to get some things off his chest about his vile aging brat of a cousin. Her faux tears are puke inducing and her forehead is resembling an old mans saggy foreskin. again, time for more botox Fanny.


The way Snorts is talking it is like SA is already hers. I wonder if Fanny paid a peppercorn purchase price to avoid death duties?

 

[TorontoGWM]

2 more

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BTW, he is not bisexual. He is a gay man who perhaps sleeps with women when it is to his advantage. But there’s nothing sexual about that. There’s no attraction to women - just to their jewellery, clothes, money and dishes. He is gayer than a Pride Parade - and his parents know it. His Bro knows it. Bubbles knows it, too.

 

[Rory]

After at @Pekey comment re the boxes in corridor I fast forwarded to the section in video. OMG/JMJ! 66 - 67 boxes of books, weighing up to 15 kilos (as per Grant’s comment).

Grant has packed her father’s art books (I thought they were not going to be packed). So a maximum estimate of up to 1000 kilos (1 tonne!) of books which aren’t looked at, dusted or ownership remembered. I just can’t fathom this.

How on earth are they going to get these down stairs? They don’t even own a hand trolley. I remember a guest/patron gifted Amaury 2 small wheeled platform trolleys for moving furniture.

Grant insist Stephanie hire conveyer belts to transport them down the stairs. When Stephanie said a ‘team of us’ is needed she means a team of you…and your daughter.

 

[C'est moi]

Liar! Also, imagine how Gerry must have felt when Fanny was sent off to France or Hong Kong for the holidays and he, no doubt, wasn't, even though he had had to look after her in the UK for years..
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No, that's a separate small flat. This is yet another property which will be worth considerably more than the flat.

The area around Bèziers does have some attractive places. This house is not in one of them. If mami croaked in 2018 why hasn't it been sold? Mami was, I believe, in a nursing home in Puisserguier when she died. Obviously no-one in the family wanted to look after grandmama. Isabelle was living in France at that time and widowed but didn't head to the 'ol family homestead to care for her mother. If Issi-whizzi has 5 siblings are 4 of them male? And are they all still alive? Are any of them divorced or widowed?

When darling grandmama died, under Grench inheritance laws, the house was split in equal parts to the surviving siblings. If not all the siblings have survived then each sibling has their share split between their surviving children. If they had no children the share would be split equally to their surviving siblings. At this point Despicable fanny and Amaury and Amaury's brother have no stake in this property.

Is one of Issi-whizzi and twotonne's brothers living permantly in the property? Or has it been left for any and all family members to use? Or, again, is there a dispute amongst the siblings whether to keep or sell? Not uncommon.

Despicable fanny really doesn't give a shit about anyone but herself. We here all know that. She has now destroyed the privacy of her mothers family. I know where these properties are (but then I do live here and know the area exceptionally well. Better than a lot of people who have lived their entire lives here) and with a little work anyone else can find out where these properties are. Her sycophantic fans are weird and I would go as far as to say that some of them are seriously unhinged or even dangerous.

Despicable fanny is downright stupid.

 

[Lochness Monster]

Sorry to be a pain in the proverbial but I must have missed something... not sure if it's a patreon vlog, or an instagram post, but where did the thumbnail come from which suggests the odd couple are staying at grandmas gaff in the South of France...?

If you click on the link to Fanny’s patron page she delivers …a very short teaser . It was from this that we learnt that Daddy bought HER the studio in 1999 when she would have been 24…so that she could be near her grandmother. It is another lie as it does not add up or make sense.
Exactly why she could not stay with her Grandmother when she had stayed with her every holiday since she was 3 years old etc.
It is just a story so that Patron don’t think she is well off.

 

[LittleMore Cottage]

Observations from the latest instalment of their never ending buy me, feed me, buy me spree, running from one brocante to another with online auctions in between.

Good to see the late departed grandmother was also a gourmand, sitting there with her box of MaccyD fries.

Another Oscar performance from Fanny, on a par with her funeral scene for Ian where she struggled to utter a word, so overwhelmed with emotion as she was.

There is nothing on this earth that the smugtwat doesn’t covet and must have immediately. His lack of taste is ridiculous.

Fanny has difficulty pronouncing words properly either in English or French, her Oxford education was certainly wasted.

Why has Fanny never driven the Porsche? Tonton has, maybe even two tons tante, smugtwat has constantly but never Fanny.

They are vile, greedy and obscene leading their duplicitous lives, an affront to honest decent hard working people, who try to give back to society to make the world a better place.

Remember Fanny said she was going to buy Snorts a car. I think she did, that is why he always drives.

 

[TorontoGWM]

When you say the course includes carrots, I would expect more than one baby carrot. As for asparagus….

 

[Just Grift Wood]

Oh go fuck yourself backwards with a soggy banana you obsequious tit

2 hours ago
At the risk of sounding like a mother hen, please remember to rest and take good care of yourself. Just one day of doing something that makes you happy to recover from everything else around you.

 

[Gertrude Maud]

They are really clocking up the mileage on the Porsche. How long does it take to order a fan belt in Chateauroux? Fanny returned from Japan 3 weeks ago. Where has the other car disappeared to?

Fanny says they now always keep a book in the car for reading whilst they are driving. Most people who read in a car for any length of time get motion sickness and become nauseous. I'd love to see Fanny or Snorty puke in the Porsche.
Perhaps Rita Koning, the author of 'Domestic Bliss, How to Live', the book Fanny is reading, has tips on how to remove the smell of vomit from the car - hand-picked, silk-wrapped, embroidered lavender sachets perhaps???

Fanny is particularly smitten with the chapter 'Me, Me, Me, Me and How to Spoil Oneself', which coincidentally is the working title of Fanny's pending autobiography.

One review of the book stated that 'Domestic Bliss: How To Live' is a perfectly silly book, and is of course making perfectly silly money as it flies off the shelves; it is also perfectly nicely written, and comes out with perfect timing, into a market apparently ripe for a slather of books on the forgotten art of simply staying in and living. Rita's chapters are called things such as 'Me, me, me, me and how to spoil oneself', 'After-dinner treats' and 'Presents: giving and wrapping'.

Rita's advice is, essentially, a masterclass in trivia. We should think, we are told, of trying to 'speak to builders like they are normal people rather than second-class citizens'. And there's the infuriating stuff about the perfect picnic, which would require a team of sweating sherpas. (Sadly, Fanny isn't taking all of Rita's advice to heart, but instead is treating her builders and staff like second-class sherpas and working them to death).

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She doesn't need a bloody book telling her how to spoil herself. Stephanie is the most hedonistic person on Youtube.
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@mireille4751
3 hours ago
They probably have their own car which they drove from the Netherlands. Stephanie said that Philip’s parents were staying at Lalande. There are eigth plates on the dinner table : Stephanie, Philip, Philip’s parents, Andie (who is Dutch), Grant and his daughter, and Marie.

Rightio mireille, if that is so . . . again, who was that woman standing next to Andie?

 

[Pencil Pine Principessa]

System in place.

He becomes more grotesque by the day. It's like the greed and lies are eating away at both of them from the inside. It's truly alarming the rapid rate of their decline.

 

[billybudd]

Marie certainly learned something and 4 week chef school: how to slice a stick of asparagus into 4, LENGHTwise! cooo-er.

The only chef school I ever went to was on the job training from Ivory (last name gone with the wind) the line chef at the restaurant I worked in.
His teaching was all about generosity, not stinge.
1.) He said, in making soup, never use water when you can use stock. Never use stock when you can use cream. Never use cream when you can use butter.
2.) After a gruelling eight hour shift in which he cooked parts of perhaps 300 breakfasts and lunches, Ivory would always cook the hotel staff whatever they wanted for lunch off the menu, no shitty staff gruel and cheese parings. It would add an hour to his long and strenuous day.
One day the FBI showed up and, in a very Nicholas Freeling/Anthony Bourdain kitchen culture moment, took him away on charges of armed robbery. Last I ever saw of a good guy.

 

[Lady Pinkadella]

OMG....... just watching the latest CD and ...

Where was the promised perfect guest experience? Did I miss something?

 

[TorontoGWM]