The Chateau Diaries #302 Stay home and renovate the damn chito

[Hedda Hopper]

I'm picturing my arrival at the dump as a guest and this is my welcome:

• An orange plastic fence.
• A large mysterious dent in the lawn.
• Storage units, always a welcoming site.
• Scaffolding on the chapel.
• Workers vehicles.
• Weed choked gardens.
• Rooms that are off limits due to structural problems.
• Inconsistent and often mysterious food.
• An unleashed hyper little dog (I don't trust most dogs)
• A room with peeling wallpaper and mismatched everything.
• No way to get a decent cup of coffee.
• Boxed wine served in decanters containing lead.

I want my money back!

 

[Toys in the attic]

The storage containers should now be referred to as the annex. Expensive, grungy and ugly, just like the rest of Lalande.

They might as well furnish the containers now, so they can easily move in when the CHMN falls down. I can't wait to see which expensive wallpaper Fanny chooses for the annex.

 

[mrsp67]

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I actually did a poll on my Facebook page about how many pillows are required on a guest room bed and the consensus is four pillows so four pillows to use for sleeping, not decorative pillows so even my friends who live in Florida or the Midwest or Amman Jordan or Italy they all say four pillows How can you have a B&B without four pillows to sleep with every hotel I’ve been at has given four pillows plus extras in the closet .

And by the way, if any of you wanna message me on my Facebook Instagram or TikTok I’d be happy to chat with any of you. I don’t really care about privacy that much.

 

[FecilitéJ]

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God that room is a hot mess. Makes me think of the old B&Bs in UK seaside towns. They tended to be a mishmash of old furniture, tatty, ugly and worn

 

[Hedda Hopper]

God that room is a hot mess. Makes me think of the old B&Bs in UK seaside towns. They tended to be a mishmash of old furniture, tatty, ugly and worn

Exactly! It's the kind of room that has a musty smell, broken down mattress that you don't want to look at too closely, squeaky and uneven floors, radiators that don't work properly, windows painted shut, doors that don't shut correctly because the whole structure is tilted, lamps with low voltage bulbs or no lightbulbs at all, drapes that don't meet the floor or don't close in the middle and are hanging off the rod, and my favorite - shiny, greasy looking bedspreads!

 

[JulesWake]

Apologies for the random question, but surely there must be a parody account on IG for Fanny, her faux friends, & the crumbling Chateau. Or would that get shut down by the humourless.

 

[FecilitéJ]

@Hedda Hopper I think we stayed in the same B&B

 

[Cleo's Asp]

Smugtwat also said the Parmesan was in the freezer. I always keep a piece of Parmesan in the freezer as it can be grated from frozen. Surely the twits know this is possible.
Using great thick slices of unripe unprepared tomato instead of sheets of lasagna. This was in no way lasagna. It was nasty mince and tomato goo
The patrons are now paying for containers to store all the crap from the big room.
Next dinner service to become a family. What is wrong with the shopaholics? Smugtwat has a huge check list to ensure all cousins of the sets he is collecting are reunited. Get rid of the masseur and get a team from Better help in immediately.

Gosh, yet another Gerry spitting image shot. With her hair dark, she looks just like his twin.

 

[TorontoGWM]

 

[Tartuffe]

I'm picturing my arrival at the dump as a guest and this is my welcome:

• An orange plastic fence.
• A large mysterious dent in the lawn.
• Storage units, always a welcoming site.
• Scaffolding on the chapel.
• Workers vehicles.
• Weed choked gardens.
• Rooms that are off limits due to structural problems.
• Inconsistent and often mysterious food.
• An unleashed hyper little dog (I don't trust most dogs)
• A room with peeling wallpaper and mismatched everything.
• No way to get a decent cup of coffee.
• Boxed wine served in decanters containing lead.

I want my money back!

Hedda, there's also the unkempt, overgrown, crumbling walls of the moat as one drives in . . .

and the cans of pesticide in the kitchen, visible from the courtyard.

 

[Hedda Hopper]

Hedda, there's also the unkempt, overgrown, crumbling walls of the moat as one drives in . . .

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and the cans of pesticide in the kitchen, visible from the courtyard.

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And worst of all, PP and The Hair System!

 

[JackSpratt]

They might as well furnish the containers now, so they can easily move in when the CHMN falls down. I can't wait to see which expensive wallpaper Fanny chooses for the annex.

Sorted

 

[Hedda Hopper]

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Thank you mistress.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

@TorontoGWM
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Good God I know she doesn't see the mess she has made of the Chateau but this is her face!!!! Her lips are now deformed and her cheeks don't move and are sliding down the ball of her cheeks parallel to the bottom of her nose, making her look like a fat chipmunk like Permasmile. Stephanie stop you used to have a pretty face this is just so bad. Then you move onto her neck which because of her uber smooth fat face now looks like a saggy foreskin. I had been tempted to have a bit of botox in my forehead but this has acted as a cautionary tale.
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Why isn’t see storing the paneling in Natalie’s or Gerry’s huge unfinished apartments? Oh yeah, they are already crammed full of tit.

How many out buildings are there? This is sheer lunacy stop buying and have a clear out you daft witch

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

Hedda, there's also the unkempt, overgrown, crumbling walls of the moat as one drives in . . .

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and the cans of pesticide in the kitchen, visible from the courtyard.

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Too bad the pesticide hasn’t managed to eliminate the biggest cockroach of them all!

 

[Just Grift Wood]

Hedda, there's also the unkempt, overgrown, crumbling walls of the moat as one drives in . . .

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and the cans of pesticide in the kitchen, visible from the courtyard.

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Look how prissy and messy all that china looks on the faux formica dresser

 

[Tartuffe]

Something new I noticed in tonight's YT comments were the TWO "Super Thanks" donations. One was taking the mick: $5 to get a jibe in. Nice play. It won't be removed because it's $5 more for Fanny and Phyllis to spend on crap.

But the second $9.99 donation seems a plant to entice others to give. Let's see if they take the bait.

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UPDATE on the Super Thanks donations

Isabelle's on duty today patrolling the CD comments. No surprise that the "Jerry's your brother" jibe survived her wrath. Not only is it still up, but maman thanked keithj for the gift! Of course she did. $5 is $5.

How's the new oven in your SA beach house, witch?

 

[Jules100]

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UPDATE on the Super Thanks donations

Isabelle's on duty today patrolling the CD comments. No surprise that the "Jerry's your brother" jibe survived her wrath. Not only is it still up, but maman thanked keithj for the gift! Of course she did. $5 is $5.

How's the new oven in your SA beach house, witch?

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So “Gerry’s your brother” is not another iteration of “Bob’s your uncle”? Can we start using it more here?

 

[Pencil Pine Principessa]

So “Gerry’s your brother” is not another iteration of “Bob’s your uncle”? Can we start using it more here?

Phiphi and Fanny bought one more Herend tureen to stuff into the crumbling hall of horde and
- Gerry’s your brother-
the whole place came crashing down, smashing everything to shards and splinters!

 

[Madame de Pompanddoodoo]

Exactly! It's the kind of room that has a musty smell, broken down mattress that you don't want to look at too closely, squeaky and uneven floors, radiators that don't work properly, windows painted shut, doors that don't shut correctly because the whole structure is tilted, lamps with low voltage bulbs or no lightbulbs at all, drapes that don't meet the floor or don't close in the middle and are hanging off the rod, and my favorite - shiny, greasy looking bedspreads!

You forgot the mice scuttling around.