The Chateau Diaries #270 It's a good thing Snorty lays tables since he doesn't lay Fanny!

[ComtesseRose]

Snorts’ new hair in a can hairline reminds me of the old comic strip character Nancy’s hair. Was that the look he was trying to achieve? Is that what turns Stephanfraudie on? Weird.

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Or was it a 1960 ken doll doll look he wanted to achieve?
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I was thinking more along the lines of Sid from Toy Story

 

[Iolair]

And let's not forget Mme la Comtesse @ComtesseRose without whom we'd have no new !

Indeed! Our dearest ComtesseRose is the glue that holds us all together.

 

[Alice Strictknickers]

YOU (and Karma baby) have been our resident superstars! We're very grateful.

And let's not forget Mme la Comtesse @ComtesseRose without whom we'd have no new !

 

[Madame de Pompanddoodoo]

I think we have all missed the latest miracle at the shittoo. I’m sure that there are no longer acrow props holding up the ceiling in the big room. Difficult to be certain as there is so much crap in there but can’t see any yellow props anymore.
Mummy dears eyes, Fraudy Fanny’s hip and now a ceiling that was in imminent danger of collapsing magically mended.
And the blossoming friendship between FRK and smugmug is a deliberate ploy to get us tartlets and everyone else talking about it, thus covering up something else that is going on. What devious deeds are we not meant to be seeing.

 

[C'est moi]

M.I.A. for a couple of weeks. Went on holiday to southern Italy, Puglia. Fabulous. Rented a Trullo for a long week. Stopped in Asti and Pescara on the way down. Asti was a revelation. Stopped in Orvieto (another revelation, been on the to visit list for years) and Domodossola on the way home. We pretty much shut ourselves off from the outside world (no news, no papers, no WiFi) and the world went mad

Though nothing has appeared to have changed with Despicable fraudie fanny and Thrush! Un honte!!

@JackSpratt we've had rain since our return (bah, humbug. Kinda got used to sunshine since April) but the worst of the episode Cevenol was north of Montpellier. A spectacular "light show" that we could see from home.

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

@coley0504
1 hour ago
Did something happen with Ian the builder? I feel like we haven't seen him in over a year or even longer
1
Reply

2 replies
@TheBTG88
@TheBTG88
1 hour ago
There were two Ian’s. One of them has died. The other, last I heard, was on an extended sailing trip.

Oh for fucks sake Brenda, if you're the fount of all things LaLande and super good pals with Fanny how do you not know there were three Ians? Ian the builder, Ian the electrician, who’s away sailing and sadly deceased Ian the plasterer. You remember him dontcha Brenda?!? The one whose funeral Phony Fraudy Fanny monetized for her own personal enrichment. Brenda, you’re as vile as your idol Stephamememe. I’m so over these criminal slime!

 

[MsPitstop]

I've just had my third email in the past 24 hours from Anna Le Flueries regarding signing up to her 'Home Print Academy'! I now have until midnight to sign up. No thanks.
Oh dear, oh dear. It seems she's not getting the registrations she was expecting. I'm sorry Phillip, but no yacht for you!

 

[On Repeat]

Why is Snorts always just leaving or entering ‘ a scene’ on CD.?
Snorts is like a Wilo the wisp character.

I’m finding his behaviour more creepy and disturbing.He is watching Fanny’s every move , he is also making sure she does not do a runner with a straight bloke.

Creepy as all hell. Such an insecure, insignificant shit.

 

[Karma baby!]

are you going to dubai? please do answer before you leave again!

no 🥲
That ship has sailed……
I may take an extended work remotely/vacation to somewhere in Mediterranean. Cypress or Greece.
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Definitely seems like you need a vacation! I know of a chateau in the middle of nowhere where you can unwind and relax. Apparently it has its own micro climate. The chateau is quite run down, with some areas off limits due to collapsing walls. It also needs a complete overhaul, both in renovations and decor, which is incredibly garish, so be warned. The meals can be be described as experimental, but there's a McDonalds nearby. Anyway, you'll have a peaceful stay because it's guaranteed the staff will completely ignore you.

I would, but I moved on from my suicidal stage about a month ago

 

[Gertrude Maud]

Maybe the embroidery machine broke down or the china cabinet next to Nutty collapsed?
Phi Phi got the boot?
The mattresses came back?
The beetroots now refuse to be served with feta cheese?
Fanny’s new dresses had to be returned?

This is so typical and tiring…I need a drink or three!

Stephanie has cried wolf so many times, she should be renamed Peter.

 

[Fennelbug]

I think cleaning is the last thing on anyone's mind. Maria is just there to cook, not sure why Pavilina is there, Marie is there so she won't spill the Inner secrets, and Snorts is there as Fannys shopping buddie, probably paid by Isabel to keep an eye on her. If you watch the old episodes there were soooo many regular people there, repeat volunteers, things happening at the farmhouse, not any more. She had a good thing going with MP until it imploded....

Snorts ruins everything

 

[TorontoGWM]

She was so distressed and left a few things out.

“Tragically, we over-shopped and over-slept but instead I am going to tell you there was a minor terrible accident at the crumbling chateau on Thursday, which is why there was no Chateau Diaries that night while we were still shopping. None of the Lalanders that count or mean anything to me were involved, but that doesn’t make us any less distressed than when Dave breaks a plate, and none of us is emotionally able or mature enough to keep a job let alone be able to film at the moment.” I had already filmed my 100th shopping trip to Germany with my gay friend Philip who loves the bathhouses there, so tomorrow I will try to finish editing it if I ever get out of bed and post it on the Chateau Diaries channel I grift with in addition to Patreon. But after that I’ll see how we’re all feeling about getting out of bed and getting dressed and decide when to start filming again if my accountant says I have no money left to buy more dresses and fountains . I’m hoping that I’ll feel stronger than Percy during the week, and that the incredibly boring videos that interfere with my travel schedule will resume as usual late every day by the end of the week when I put my hood on, sit by the fire and tell you I need 500 000 Euros to pay my gay friend Philip to leave because I forgot to have him sign an NDA.”

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

Message on Patreon:

Why there won’t be a Patreon video tonight

Hello everyone, I’m very sorry but there won’t be a Patreon video as usual tonight. Tragically, there was a terrible accident at the chateau on Thursday, which is why there was no Chateau Diaries that night. None of the Lalanders were involved, but that doesn’t make us any less distressed, and none of us is emotionally able to film at the moment.
I had already filmed my trip to Germany with Philip, so tomorrow I will try to finish editing it and post it on the Chateau Diaries. But after that I’ll see how we’re all feeling and decide when to start filming again. I’m hoping that I’ll feel stronger during the week, and that the videos will resume as usual by the end of the week.
I feel a tremendous sense of responsibility to all of the viewers, and especially to all of you, and I promise not to pause filming for long. I am disappointed in myself for stopping at all, but, coming in a year of emotional blows, this has knocked the wind out of me completely. My thoughts are just with the people who who were involved in the accident right now.
Thank you so, so much for all the support you’ve given to everyone at Lalande, I can’t describe how much it means to us. As soon as I am able, I will let you know what happened.

With all of my love as always, Stephanie

Sounds like the bitch is pulling that stunt where she knows something others don’t yet want public so she’s using it for clickbait. What a cunt!

 

[The Saint]

Resentfully got
Out of
Bed before noon & couldn’t bother to dress for
Either you, your dog or your generosity.

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Fanny always said it was a working home, I never had it down as a brothel, I cant fathom why else she would accept money dressed like that.
LaLande a château filled with life, love and LOW standards.

 

[On Repeat]

For @Lockness Monster and @ Hedda Hopper:

In the autumn I gathered all my sorrows and buried them in my garden, and when April returned and spring came to wed the earth, there grew in my garden beautiful flowers unlike all other flowers.

My neighbours came to behold them, and they all said to me "When autumn comes again, at seeding time, will you not give us of the seeds of these flowers that we may have them in our gardens?"

Khalil Gibran

 

[Tea with lemon]

Disgusting!

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[Lochness Monster]

The humble rubber plant gets Janssened.

There I was, thinking that BJJ would never come up with something to match his “my grandfather’s favourite playing card”. Then he comes out with this.

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His obsession with his grandparents is singularly unhealthy and deeply odd.

odd yes and disturbing !
Unbelievably Snorts said this was the nickname for his grandmother…
Elastica?

 

[tuffiti]

Patreon video: where Fanny is "touching a lot of wood", has thought up another excuse to go on hols (this time to Germany), Snorty has lost his horse, and Marie molests some flowers. Try not to vomit.

"Hello lovely people!

Whilst making tonight's Patreon video, I realised I had enough footage to make an entire extra video. So, later this weekend, I'll upload another Patreon video for you - as a little bonus this week!

I hope you all enjoy the video(s), lots of love from Lalande <3

Stephanie x "



Stephanie Jarvis is a con artist. The Chateau Diaries is a scam.
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@tuffiti kindly uploads but I'm not sure if SJ has started releasing them later in the week as opposed to the usual Wednesday, given that she is now doing Dailies. I think she (SJ) said something about spreading the vlogs out so the patreons would benefit from a vlog each day... or words to that effect... but in answer to your question Yes Patreon vids still get posted. xx
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Sorry I think I've also just answered the question re @tuffiti ... xx

Apparantly she now uploads on Saturdays (which means Sunday early morning)

 

[JackSpratt]

Has Snorts been on a knit your own ring course. What is that thing on his finger?

Looks like copper pipe. You wear copper bracelets for arthritis. Perhaps he's got that for his clicking finger over worked from too much online auction purchases.

Notice the word Aumary just naturally came out of her gob the moment they realised the leg needed putting back on the cardboard filing cabinet. Heaven forbid Snorts would fix it, might chip a nail........the horror!
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Crap unwrapped WTF are these people on! Jay, you seriously need to get out more and not waste your money. Ha ha ha Phylis Mc FF, another frueidian slip whe talking about the 'gifts' that were sent by nutter Jay, "It's all things we would have bought ourselves". Well...........did you?

 

[KyBourbon]

Frankenfraudie is trying to pretend she was at the Dump on Thursday, the day of the tragic accident. I bet she doesn’t know them, wasn’t at the Dump, and wants several days off from filming and editing videos, and to generate pity for herself. Manipulative Frankenfraudie at work, as usual.She probably found out about the accident this morning and decided to exploit the accident fir herself.

Most of the “reputable” vloggers I watch follow a routine schedule, releasing videos consistently on the same day of the week and at the same time. They’ll let their viewers know in advance when they plan to take time off. They value and respect their subscribers and patrons. Fanny is so sketchy with time frames, traveling, and unexpected delays due to one excuse or another, it’s no wonder anybody would think she’s crying wolf about this latest “tragedy” or whatever it is.