The Chateau Diaries #246 Stephanie's Patreons are like mushrooms - kept in the dark and fed shyte.

[graciemckitten]

My Dearest Tarlets and Targents,

The Witch of loire has increased her prices this year:

3 course meal including wine €75 p.p
Cheese platter €45 p.p
The rooms which sleeps 2 : €250 per night
The Roger: €220 a night
The Marquis appartment: € 325
Tack room €300

rooms are booked for a minimum of 2 nights.
So her cashing in per week based on the 4 days

Sleeping 2 rooms x 3: €3000
Sleeping 1 room: €800
Marquis appartment: €1300
Tack Appartment: €1200

Grand total of €6300 in rent for a week.
6 people dining for 2 days with the Witch: €900

Ÿet Fanny has been lying and complaining about her Patreon funds, YouTube monies, and B and B barely providing enough money to pay all her employees and has been crying poverty as she jets off on luxury vacations and spends huge sums of tax free cash on herself. She is such a dishonest, greedy con artist.

She doesn’t even pretend to do restoration work anymore. She just puts out half assed videos of the most expensive vegetable and herb garden in France, photos of her prison ration B and B meals complete with decanters of discount wine, and storylines made up of flat out wall to wall lies.

She only reluctantly performs a few projects so she can be featured on chateau diy.


All that cash and she only contributed approximately $1,000 in tax free funds to help the family of Mmakhotso Moloi. What a rotten human being.

 

[Cleo's Asp]

Those prices are ridiculous, almost criminal, considering what they get to eat and the state of the place! People should compare them with Puy Vidal and Rebecca's chateau and menus where they get to stay in beautiful, comfortable and safe surroundings with sane hosts who genuinely wish to provide an excellent service for their guests, rather than being concentrated solely on themselves.

Re Fanny's lack of dancing skills: I reckon she is a physically very awkward and clumsy individual. All the exaggerated "catwalk" movements and hand gestures are rehearsed and deliberate for the camera. At other times in others' videos, she looks really awkward when she is not acting. It's also becoming more and more obvious that her physical attractiveness is all down to make-up. Without it, she is quite plain and very like Gerry with dark hair and rosacea. I imagine she was a shy and awkward child and teenager. Even in some of the Oxford photos, she appears plain and socially awkward with a similar look on her face as in the vlog watching Selmar drumming. I think she then decided to bleach her hair, paint her face, and pretend to have a personality. It worked for her as so many gullible people can't see behind the facade. No one should be blamed for their shyness or plain looks. However, what we are criticising is her fakeness. She has created her own fake appearance; fake personality, and fake good nature. We can see behind the facade which will eventually crumble and crack, just like her home.

 

[graciemckitten]

Those prices are ridiculous, almost criminal, considering what they get to eat and the state of the place! People should compare them with Puy Vidal and Rebecca's chateau and menus where they get to stay in beautiful, comfortable and safe surroundings with sane hosts who genuinely wish to provide an excellent service for their guests, rather than being concentrated solely on themselves.

Re Fanny's lack of dancing skills: I reckon she is a physically very awkward and clumsy individual. All the exaggerated "catwalk" movements and hand gestures are rehearsed and deliberate for the camera. At other times in others' videos, she looks really awkward when she is not acting. It's also becoming more and more obvious that her physical attractiveness is all down to make-up. Without it, she is quite plain and very like Gerry with dark hair and rosacea. I imagine she was a shy and awkward child and teenager. Even in some of the Oxford photos, she appears plain and socially awkward with a similar look on her face as in the vlog watching Selmar drumming. I think she then decided to bleach her hair, paint her face, and pretend to have a personality. It worked for her as so many gullible people can't see behind the facade. No one should be blamed for their shyness or plain looks. However, what we are criticising is her fakeness. She has created her own fake appearance; fake personality, and fake good nature. We can see behind the facade which will eventually crumble and crack, just like her home.

Fanny should be finished with her facial restoration ( fillers, Botox, skin peels, etc.), she now needs to start working on her Dump.


I do not think Marie is enjoying her return to the Dump.

 

[Luna20]

while I'm at it:

Cost for grand salon renovations + Chapel structural is set aside and they can pay for it:

Here is the thing since cry me a river flog and with no work started yet: 7 months has passed
€28K * 7 = 196K Patreon monies
B&B starting from 2nd week of April 7 weeks: 64.400
YT monies:$28875 or 27K in euro

That's a sum of 287.400 euro! She is 3K short of the decorative work for the chapel.

I did not include the salaries, and utility costs because that, she has on her bank anyway ( from the past 3 years B&B, Youtube and Patreon)
She really thinks she is fooling everyone, but forgets that there are people out there who do calculations of things all day every day.

I think we shouldn't have to ask for the accounts anymore, Tattle has the accounts including receipts for Stephanie Jarvis the GOAT grifter supreme!

 

[Pekey]

Hey Teabag..... just watched your vid. and it was great - keep it up!
I liked the witty CD music when opening the door and garbage bin and your flower arrangements where waaay better than FRK's sad weeds!!!
Get that glasshouse done --- I am keeping an eye on you .
---

Re Fanny's lack of dancing skills: I reckon she is a physically very awkward and clumsy individual. All the exaggerated "catwalk" movements and hand gestures are rehearsed and deliberate for the camera. At other times in others' videos, she looks really awkward when she is not acting.

Mmmmm....... so Mummy didn't send her little Fanny to ballet classes???

 

[Summerbaby]

This was a meat/cheese platter in a bar in Chinon. It cost €16, and was plenty for 2, and as you can see, already partly eaten. Beer/wine extra, and not from a box!

Exactly my point as you have easily highlighted. That platter is plenty enough as a meal for 2 in any event. I'd also wager that the ambience of the bar in Chinon was far more relaxing/enjoyable than sitting around a table at LL with the pretentious motley crew too!
How the hell can the un-starred rated HMN B&B charge £45? Totally scandalous and absolute rip off.

 

[Imperious Me]

No, no and thrice no!
Anyone who pays those prices must be mad!
There's a little restaurant in the Charente, that does amazing food for less than €30, wine extra. Choice of menu, and it's proper food, not beige crap...

..and I bet the wine comes from a bottle rather than the box!

 

[ploppityplop2]

Ok, so the tart fell onto the chair Mummy was sitting in, possibly hitting her back on the way down. It was picked up, still in one piece. Then Maria mentioned they have a 2nd one, so everything was still ok. They showed the second tart, still in the bakery box, whilst Gerry lit the candles for the ass tart & served it to the guests, whilst then showing them the 2nd tart still in the box. If I’m paying to stay there, I’m not eating it. Gross.

Ass tart… so Lalande

5 second rule

 

[JackSpratt]

My Dearest Tarlets and Targents,

The Witch of loire has increased her prices this year:

3 course meal including wine €75 p.p
Cheese platter €45 p.p
The rooms which sleeps 2 : €250 per night
The Roger: €220 a night
The Marquis appartment: € 325
Tack room €300

rooms are booked for a minimum of 2 nights.
So her cashing in per week based on the 4 days

Sleeping 2 rooms x 3: €3000
Sleeping 1 room: €800
Marquis appartment: €1300
Tack Appartment: €1200

Grand total of €6300 in rent for a week.
6 people dining for 2 days with the Witch: €900

This is the Chateau I worked at about 10 years ago under the previous owner. The current owners are customers of Mr Spratt and their set menus are either 26.50 or 35.50 or a la carte.

www.chateau-de-puybelliard.eatbu.com

and this is another of his customers

www.chateau-de-la-preuille.fr

She is taking the piss.

 

[Summerbaby]

while I'm at it:

Cost for grand salon renovations + Chapel structural is set aside and they can pay for it:

Here is the thing since cry me a river flog and with no work started yet: 7 months has passed
€28K * 7 = 196K Patreon monies
B&B starting from 2nd week of April 7 weeks: 64.400
YT monies:$28875 or 27K in euro

That's a sum of 287.400 euro! She is 3K short of the decorative work for the chapel.

I did not include the salaries, and utility costs because that, she has on her bank anyway ( from the past 3 years B&B, Youtube and Patreon)
She really thinks she is fooling everyone, but forgets that there are people out there who do calculations of things all day every day.

I think we shouldn't have to ask for the accounts anymore, Tattle has the accounts including receipts for Stephanie Jarvis the GOAT grifter supreme!

Stephanie Jarvis is not only now ripping off her Patrons, but she is also ripping off her B&B guests too!

Does anybody else wonder whether whose 2 recent "blurred" guests may have been visiting from a media company in order to assess the joint for future coverage? If so, obviously a complimentary stay which would defo have made SJ choke but hey, needs must if it will ultimately up her exposure, figures and income!

 

[ploppityplop2]

Brenda spent a lot of time with Kirsty (did she stay at her house). She was even with Analiese and the boys.

Doesn’t Kirsty live really close to the dump?

 

[Imperious Me]

Fanny should be finished with her facial restoration ( fillers, Botox, skin peels, etc.), she now needs to start working on her Dump.


I do not think Marie is enjoying her return to the Dump.

It appears Marie spends more time alone now she's back at the dump than she did anywhere else!

 

[JackSpratt]

How the f**k can a cheese platter for one person be £45??? Isn't it the norm in France to have a cheese course, rather than a platter?
I wonder whether they also limit the amount of alcohol one gets to drink during the meal? Wouldn't be surprised!

Yes you have your cheese before dessert.


This is the menu at our local bar

 

[On Repeat]

Last week I had a lunch for 8 ladies and had 2 platters plus some other bits and pieces and I would have spent max. $60A for the platters. They included nuts, dried fruits, fresh fruit, cheeses and crackers (no meat). So she is charging A$72 pp = A$576 total for 8 people. Perhaps that price was a typo? $72 for a platter pp!!!!!- and I bet mine were bigger and better!
Edit- Mine also had home-made quince jam and home-made Indian chutney.

 

[Freesia54]

Yes, I thought that instantly too as Anna got a really positive shout out yesterday in connection with the flower arranging. His and Florian's Mothers Day bouquets were better than what both Marie and Pavlina have ever offered up! Well, that isn't difficult BUT, they were gorgeous.

BUT, in order to stop all speculation surrounding his friendship with SJ, maybe the HMN might be his first port of call OR, there again, maybe not! Perhaps he will do a road trip to all his chateauverse friends? Florian could be his co-driver in case he needs a break. MKP's got 2 years to take a driving test before his theory test expires.

Did anybody else think that MKP was also referencing "Behind the Chateau Doors" YT channel when he was playing with the newly installed garden LL gate? Not 100% certain.

I think if he were to return to Lielande it would be just to irritate the life out of Phi Phi... maybe the reason he has not returned has nothing to do with his lack of transport but having to face Phi Phi, who if we are to believe Sillimar was the reason he went to Lieland in the first place, to meet up with MP and then after a try before you buy approach, went through quite a number of them and he then settled on The Chattalaine herself. I don't know why MP would make a reference to the CD unless it was merely because the piece of oak originated there.
---

Hey Teabag..... just watched your vid. and it was great - keep it up!
I liked the witty CD music when opening the door and garbage bin and your flower arrangements where waaay better than FRK's sad weeds!!!
Get that glasshouse done --- I am keeping an eye on you .
---

Mmmmm....... so Mummy didn't send her little Fanny to ballet classes???

No... she went to Opera school instead..... that woman was very peculiar... I guess she was gushing but I couldn't understad her nor Percy.. I got the impression she was very happy with the celebrations..

 

[Pekey]

In the latest Nic Tightpants Vid. he made a sponge cake......... it did not slide off the table.

 

[pasta_aldente]

I suppose it be too presumptuous of me if I were to ever spy stay at the shitoo to have a special diet request of authentic French cuisine ? I'll eat in town

 

[Lady Avonlea]

I think I've been blinded
I have no idea what I just watched......could you imagine sitting around watching that dance as your cocktail hour entertainment. There isn't enough booze in peacock corner & Fanny's bedroom combined to blind me to what I just endured. I felt like I was at a seniors home and they'd hired some cheap entertainment for the afternoon which included a Jackie Stewart impersonator who had a heart-beat and was willing to dance with the old ladies if they tossed in an extra tenner.

Guests
There were 3 couples who seemed normal enough (other than the fact they'd travelled to stay at the shitoo) plus the 'dancing' Ukrainian (?) birthday girl. I do wonder if she is related to Pavlina (her mom, Aunt, family friend?). There was 1 more spot at the head of the table and because Pavlina was dressed up I wonder if she joined them for the birthday dinner on the patio.

Ukrainian birthday girl would give Sharon 'Whip Lady' a run for her money - dueling tiara's at the table on their respective birthdays.

There's not enough tea in China for me to pay to stay at the HMN
For 170(?) Euro/night you get a room in a shitoo that is one jenga brick away from falling down, a skimpy continental breakfast, a couple of songs on a piano, a sparse charcuterie board, a cheap 1/2 bottle of wine and a horny peacock. For an extra 50 Euro you get 3 course dinner snack of whatever crap has been rustled up in the garden and some box wine. I wonder how much Snorty charges for his Saturday morning trips to Emmaus?

Percy
His love letter was a very sweet gesture. The type of romantic gesture that Snorty & Fanny will never have.
I hope Isabelle got Percy an oxygen tank for their 4th anniversary.

Why did Snorty look so afraid when Percy called them altogether into the kitchen? What a wonderful anniversary gift it would have been had Percy announced he was kicking Snorty out!

Who are these people and what do they do?
There were 2 extra young people sitting at table - who are they? More unannounced volunteers? How many people is Fanny feeding & bathing at the shitoo and what they hell are they all doing? They aren't doing the:
- weeding (the weeds are holding up the shitoo)
- laundry (Mummy spent her morning in the laundry room)
- ironing (not by the look of the table clothes)
- cooking (Maria & FRK do that)

Snorty
The less said about Snorty the better. How can Fanny call him boyfriend and darling with a straight face??? Snorty couldn't contain his laughter at the thought of celebrating a 'love' anniversary together with Fanny.
For the love of god, STOP THE CROTCH SHOTS!!!

C4 Project
Is the Ch4 project the:
a) little fountain in the back garden,
b) gazebo in the walled garden
c) chandelier in Mummy's apt
d) painting Bon Maman bathroom
But Scotman usually only wallpapers, so what's left to wallpaper? Andi was there so is she involved?

Heating
He's been at it for a few weeks, so has Amury finished the room within a room yet?

Timey Wimey - as close as I can figure it out (Fanny has packed a lot of different days in 1 vlog)

Thursday, May 25 - Fanny arrives back from UK at 4:00 a.m. and returned van at 11:00 a.m.
Friday, May 26 - Mummy & Percy arrive, guests arrive in Porsche, drinks on the patio & dinner with tall flowers in the dining room (Ukrainian lady hugging Mummy in dining room, but Mummy & Percy don't join for dinner.
Saturday, May 27 - Percy goes for ride in the porsche, Annalise does Fanny's hair, Pavlina dries weeds, Snorty moves to Baghead's apartment, Mummy & Percy pick up Scotman. Piano concert, dancing & 7 guests + 1 (Pavlina) have small dinner on patio.
Sunday, May 28 - Mummy & Fanny tour garden & Natti took Percy into town shopping (mentioned in Patron vlog Guests leave & Ukrainian(?) lady leave. (Big hug with Pavlina). Percy eats a Marmalade/Ham sandwich for lunch.
Monday, May 29 - Ch4
Tuesday, May 30 - Ch4
Wednesday, May 31 - Mummy & Percy's 4th wedding anniversary (Andie was still there & hadn't yet left for M&M)
Thursday, June 1 - It was 12:50 p.m., which qualifies as morning for Fanny. Natti was setting out croissants for lunch and Fanny called Snorty darling. Suspect it was June 1st. Looks like Andi had left, but why no fond farewells??? Aunt Chantal & Uncle Steve arrive, Amuary's Birthday?
Friday, June 2 - New Guest's Arrive (not shown)
Saturday, June 3 - Guest Dinner for new guests (Maria is making starter at 2:00 p.m. - hope she put them in the fridge and didn't leave them out on the kitchen table for the afternoon)

The only person good at continuity is Amuary - he's always in black, although Snorty did try by wearing that awful checkered top on a couple of different days.

 

[graciemckitten]

5 second rule

LieLande probably utilizes the 5 hour or 5 day rule.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

My Dearest Tarlets and Targents,

The Witch of loire has increased her prices this year:

3 course meal including wine €75 p.p
Cheese platter €45 p.p
The rooms which sleeps 2 : €250 per night
The Roger: €220 a night
The Marquis appartment: € 325
Tack room €300

rooms are booked for a minimum of 2 nights.
So her cashing in per week based on the 4 days

Sleeping 2 rooms x 3: €3000
Sleeping 1 room: €800
Marquis appartment: €1300
Tack Appartment: €1200

Grand total of €6300 in rent for a week.
6 people dining for 2 days with the Witch: €900

Jesus - I guessed it was € 170/ night and thought it was overpriced. These guests are nuts!!!