The Chateau Diaries #22 The Church of Stephinology

[Princess and the Pea]

I would suggest that in order to support our Brother, @Gibson, in his efforts to live a purer life, that he cure himself by gazing at length upon those images of young St Gustavo. I understand from MPK that having studied intensively at a retreat in Madrid, he is able to demonstrate with some confidence that he will not be tempted to worship at the altar of St. Fanny. Perhaps Father O'Malley may be persuaded to accompany him to ensure that Brother Gibson will not stray from his path to redemption.

I admire your attempt to help you fellow cult flock member. This is indeed a good plan. Father O'Malley has expressed an interest in foreign travel & I am sure he will jump at the chance to explore new horizons. In the meantime, @Gibson you must light the special Loki candle & repeat 10 times 'I must not look at Fanny'. Go in peace my son.

 

[Definitely Maybe]

Fanny's fanny !

 

[MojoDublin]

Thank you @Linus for the new title and @sandro37 who provided the foundations for the Lunatique Centre.
Thanks to @ploppityplop2 for the intro!
Thanks to @MojoDublin and @Rory for Glossaries.

Glossary

CD - The Chateau Diaries
Tarts boudoir - Chateau de Lalande
HMN - heap in the middle of nowhere
Flat 34B - bolt hole SJ

LOTL/LOTLL - Lady of the (Lost) Lake, aka Stephanie (b.1975)
SSB- She Who Shouts from the balcony, SJ
QBC- Queen of bed chambers - SJ
MB - Madame Boneyparts -SJ
SJ - Stephanie Jarvis
Fanny - Stephanie Jarvis

MMAF - Mad Man's Arse Face, i.e. mummy
Mini Apron - Isabelle Jarvis (nee Biggio, b.1942) married 1962/3 to Derek Jarvis, widowed 2009, married to Percy Atfield year???

Potty/MP - Michael Potts
Cinder-Ruth- MPotts current squeeze Ruth Kelly (b.1981)

Nitti/Nutty - Nati Oliveto

Floral Roadkill (FRK / RK) - Marie Wiik (b.1991)

BJJ - Baby Jesus Jeans, aka Philip Janssen
PP (Nostril of Lalande) - Prince Philip
UH - Uriah Heep - Philip
Renfield - Philip

MP/MP2/MPK - Michael Petherick (b.1986)
MOLD: Man Of LOST Design - Michael Petherick
Crybaby - Michael Petherick
Sir Trotter BDSM - Michael Petherick
Teabag Trotter - Michael Petherick
Master - Swedish director of Elias Truedsson
BS - Billy Spielberg - Billy Petherick (b.1990)
Trotter, Petherdick - any Petherick family reference
Ma Trotter - Sherrie Petherick
Pa Trotter - Mr Petherick Esq
PILF: The only Petherick I'd like to be filmed with - Pa 'Mick' Trotter

Dear Brenda/BG - Brenda Gibbons (superfan/Facebook admin) from Donegal Ireland
Karen Cbomb - other superfan/admin, Canada
Jumpsuit Jill - rabid serial deletor of unfan comments on premier chat - Jill Scott, New Zealand

Donegals - Limericks (renamed in honour of Dear Brenda)
Agents - Tattlers who find out juicy background info

Chat O (or variations) - Chateau (how Brenda says it)
“BuyMeACoffee” - give me money (no, really, give me money, I really need it)

MBNS;GF - more boring narc stuff; gimme facts

PSDFHB - princess shouting down from her balcony
PRSDBP - princess in her robe shouting down from her balcony at the peasants

Wet Blanket - Fun hoover
Mickey Dodger - Woman who avoids sexual encounters

Thanks to @Rory for the SSB Main Squeeze Glossary:

1. Gregory Mason Clark - Husband and boyfriend, on and off at uni. SJ approx 18
2. Nic Larkin - apparently just friends at uni (but also dated according to CB?)
3. Married Husband 22-24??? (wedding registered in July 1999, she was 23 at the time)
4. Michael Potts met through Oliver Strong on and off 10 years. Open relationship in the end. Buys Chateau 2005 during relationship age 29.
5. Edmond Fokker van Craayenstein (player in tight trousers who pretends to be an aristocrat-BF with guy who said "let the 80 years-olds die off")
6. Mason Dwinell on and off (last we heard he is still staring at the sun?)
7. Ludwig Norweigner (otherwise known as Nordic Weirdo, alcoholic friend unceremoniously dumped at the train station without a ticket)
8. James Jardine (turned out to be "too much" for the girl who never has enough)
9. Daniel Hengeveld (nicknamed Druggy Daniel, because of his not so secret habits. IJ was furious about that romance and the fact that he introduced narcotics into the shat-o. Christmas 2016)
10. Various volunteers ad nauseum (bread oven guy Walton, Christian We etc.)
11. BJJ (any port in a storm, eh Stephanie?)

Artwork @Linus

I hope you don't mind @Linus

@lolander

thank you I felt in an alternate universes with last thread


As for brother @Gibson
Think it’s time he jumped down of the crucifix

the fires gone out
And the chatelaine needs the WOOD

hopefully it’s a larger wood 🪵
Trotter didn’t even have kindling

 

[Definitely Maybe]

And another thing, you can tell from Fanny's see through dress that her collar and cuffs don't match !

 

[Jeeves]

And another thing, you can tell from Fanny's see through dress that her collar and cuffs don't match !

Oh no - poor @Gibson! Thwarted before he's begun!

 

[Mummy Dearest]

Fanny has form when it comes to posing in semi sheer outfits in sunlight. Nati doesn't need to have her arm twisted either.

The lack of professionalism is astounding!

I don’t want to shame people on what they wear or how they chose to present themselves, but what is she going for? I have to guess that the majority of her viewers are women, so why add the ‘sexy’ camera shots? All I can think of when she doesn’t edit that out is, “Girl, know your audience”. Her mugging for the camera, flipping her hair, flirting, flopping out her booblets, prancing around in a dressing gown in front of workers, doesn‘t say to me anything but “I’m an attention bleep.” I can’t take her seriously! Especially when she plays ‘knowledgeable historian’, I’m like “Girl, please, we all know you’re pulling the facts from Wikipedia, congrats on being able to read.” Then when she plays Betsy Bakes-a-lot and bends over in front of the camera to cut the cake, I’m thinking “ Girl, tuck in the breasticles, no one wants a slice a cake if your booblets fall into it”. I have no idea what my point is, if you figure it out, let me know

 

[Gibson]

I'm not looking, I am doing penance.

 

[Clara Burnett]

I keep being blown away how exemplary the "work" of SJ has become for her lack of responsibility and ownership of that tit-show-shat-oo. She had announced a spring cleaning weeks, no months ago, but had been distracted by random visits to places she shouldn’t have travelled to during a pandemic, but who cares. Instead of taking charge of her own pile of rubbish, she leaves it to the builder and, no surprise, even the builders helping friends, to empty out HER room of doom, a space filled with all HER clutter from years of HER wasteful life-style, to do HER dirty work for her. She then asks him “So this is stuff we're keeping?”, obviously not have been involved in making any decisions. If she sees her mothers blanket in the debris, instead of wondering how it got there in the first place, she says “She'll freak if that goes”, as if it’s not her business but the builder’s. It might have been Spring cleaning at the tit-show-shat-oo, but not executed by it’s owner who rather has her head tied up in fantasizing about future milk-cow-apartments and studios.

 

[vampiregirl]

The lack of professionalism is astounding!

I don’t want to shame people on what they wear or how they chose to present themselves, but what is she going for? I have to guess that the majority of her viewers are women, so why add the ‘sexy’ camera shots? All I can think of when she doesn’t edit that out is, “Girl, know your audience”. Her mugging for the camera, flipping her hair, flirting, flopping out her booblets, prancing around in a dressing gown in front of workers, doesn‘t say to me anything but “I’m an attention bleep.” I can’t take her seriously! Especially when she plays ‘knowledgeable historian’, I’m like “Girl, please, we all know you’re pulling the facts from Wikipedia, congrats on being able to read.” Then when she plays Betsy Bakes-a-lot and bends over in front of the camera to cut the cake, I’m thinking “ Girl, tuck in the breasticles, no one wants a slice a cake if your booblets fall into it”. I have no idea what my point is, if you figure it out, let me know

My husband said to me the 1 time he watched she’s trying to get the male audience

I keep being blown away how exemplary the "work" of SJ has become for her lack of responsibility and ownership of that tit-show-shat-oo. She had announced a spring cleaning weeks, no months ago, but had been distracted by random visits to places she shouldn’t have travelled to during a pandemic, but who cares. Instead of taking charge of her own pile of rubbish, she leaves it to the builder and, no surprise, even the builders helping friends, to empty out HER room of doom, a space filled with all HER clutter from years of HER wasteful life-style, to do HER dirty work for her. She then asks him “So this is stuff we're keeping?”, obviously not have been involved in making any decisions. If she sees her mothers blanket in the debris, instead of wondering how it got there in the first place, she says “She'll freak if that goes”, as if it’s not her business but the builder’s. It might have been Spring cleaning at the tit-show-shat-oo, but not executed by it’s owner who rather has her head tied up in fantasizing about future milk-cow-apartments and studios.

The builders more then happy to keep her sweet considering he has years worth of work ahead of him, i think that scene proved she is lazy, no way would I let anyone go through my crap lol

 

[Jeeves]

I'm not looking, I am doing penance.

Just wondered if that's the real reason the elusive Nic walks around with a bag on his head?

 

[Mummy Dearest]

My husband said to me the 1 time he watched she’s trying to get the male audience

Yes, I think that was the point I was trying to make before I got sidetracked! Thank you, I knew I was trying to get somewhere with my rant. Point is, her booblets, flouncing, flirting, prancing, and preening, are a distraction unless she’s trying reel in a male audience.

 

[Princess and the Pea]

The lack of professionalism is astounding!

I don’t want to shame people on what they wear or how they chose to present themselves, but what is she going for? I have to guess that the majority of her viewers are women, so why add the ‘sexy’ camera shots? All I can think of when she doesn’t edit that out is, “Girl, know your audience”. Her mugging for the camera, flipping her hair, flirting, flopping out her booblets, prancing around in a dressing gown in front of workers, doesn‘t say to me anything but “I’m an attention bleep.” I can’t take her seriously! Especially when she plays ‘knowledgeable historian’, I’m like “Girl, please, we all know you’re pulling the facts from Wikipedia, congrats on being able to read.” Then when she plays Betsy Bakes-a-lot and bends over in the front of the camera to cut the cake, I’m thinking “ Girl, tuck in the breasticles, no one wants a slice a cake if your booblets fall into it”. I have no idea what my point is, if you figure it, let me know

I get it. She's spent all her life being 'cutesy' & it's worked. I've seen it myself with someone who literally turned the full beam on any man who might be useful to her. It was fascinating to watch her & see how she made the guy feel like he was the only person in the world. All the females saw it but if anyone said anything it was seen as being jealous or bitchy. Yeah right, we're just not suckered in by it. Hey, I've used the tactic myself on occasion. She's pretty and can be stunning with her false eyelashes, hair & makeup done and she has a good pair of legs. But those boobies are not for daytime use.

 

[MojoDublin]

I'm not looking, I am doing penance.

oh I believe ..... you

 

[Gibson]

oh I believe ..... you

Oy!!! How many of those vlogs do i have to watch??? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

[vampiregirl]

Just wondered if that's the real reason the elusive Nic walks around with a bag on his head?

Most prob see no evil can’t get an ear bashing from the wife

Yes, I think that was the point I was trying to make before I got sidetracked! Thank you, I knew I was trying to get somewhere with my rant. Point is, her booblets, flouncing, flirting, prancing, and preening, are a distraction unless she’s trying reel in a male audience.

There’s some ladies that like to see that sort of thing, i my self would prefer a Rachel welsh type not for sexual reasons more oh gosh I wish I was that sexy, instead of seeing a skinned hamster

 

[Mrs O]

I too have just caught up on latest vlog. OMG she’s done it again ... up a ladder in a dress! That’s the second time. The tradesmen must have had a good view ... just hope she has she undies on!!!

She is such an exhibitionist ... walks around half the day in her pjs or revealing nightdresses when tradespeople and deliveries are being made, up ladders in bedclothes or wearing a skirt or dress What must the wives, girlfriends of these people think (not counting, of course, boobies hanging out and lounging about with legs asunder).

Awaiting the Easter fiasco with baited breath!

 

[vampiregirl]

I too have just caught up on latest vlog. OMG she’s done it again ... up a ladder in a dress! That’s the second time. The tradesmen must have had a good view ... just hope she has she undies on!!!

She is such an exhibitionist ... walks around half the day in her pjs or revealing nightdresses when tradespeople and deliveries are being made, up ladders in bedclothes or wearing a skirt or dress What must the wives, girlfriends of these people think (not counting, of course, boobies hanging out and lounging about with legs asunder).

Awaiting the Easter fiasco with baited breath!

Why do you think the builders keep leaving ladders about lol

 

[Viva La Loca]

Quote .. @oldandoverit " Also interested to find out if they had legal guardianship of any resident."

This is why there are trusts that can be formed nowadays to protect the assets of a person / family from the steely claw hands of care homes and family members that are not trusted to do the right thing ... all decisions made by the trustees are to be made in the 'best interests' of the person concerned.

 

[Mummy Dearest]

I get it. She's spent all her life being 'cutesy' & it's worked. I've seen it myself with someone who literally turned the full beam on any man who might be useful to her. It was fascinating to watch her & see how she made the guy feel like he was the only person in the world. All the females saw it but if anyone said anything it was seen as being jealous or bitchy. Yeah right, we're just not suckered in by it. Hey, I've used the tactic myself on occasion. She's pretty and can be stunning with her false eyelashes, hair & makeup done and she has a good pair of legs. But those boobies are not for daytime use.

Right on! I used those tricks in my younger days, laid on the charm, batted my eyelashes, whole 9 yards. Then I grew up. I can read Stephanie like a book because I’ve read it a long time ago.

She plays people like a fiddle. Look at Ian, “oh Ian, you charming, wonderful, handsome man. Oh you brought pastries? What a saint you are!“ Blah Blah, more syrupy sweet nonsense, Blah Blah Blah. Then what do we see him doing? He and his helpers are out there cleaning out her crap! SJ not lifting a finger, besides grabbing a blanket and poking around little bits of junk. She didn’t have any intent of helping, she was wearing white for God’s sake!

Her universe is so bassackwards. Volunteers paying her Patreon money and then working for free in the garden? Volunteers helping out at the chateau and giving her free interior, garden, graphic design work? Handymen bringing her pastries and then cleaning out her garbage? Please God, Make it make sense, because my brain is struggling!

 

[ggyahoo]

She then asks him “So this is stuff we're keeping?”, obviously not have been involved in making any decisions

That's what I keep picking up on as well. She wanders into the workshop and Selmar tells her what he's doing, or into the garden and Dan has just been getting on with stuff off his own bat. Who the hell is in charge, in her own home?
I wonder how much Isabelle is invested in the chateau now that she has remarried and moved to SA? I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't risk coming back this year.