The Chateau Diaries #210 PhiPhi. He's the first Real Housewife of Lalande

[thatsrich]

Looking for opinions. Just watched Dan’s latest video…where he builds the roof and calls it “practice” for the chateau roof. I was wondering…should Dan try to restore his chateau to its original state? OR…should he use what’s left of the chateau (the “shell”) as the starting point for something new? Instead of recreating what was there, maybe build a more modern, contemporary structure that incorporates the old? I don’t know what would be better. Normally I would say the chateau should be restored to the original, but his chateau is so far gone maybe it’s an opportunity to do something different? Personally, I think it would be easier, cheaper, and faster if he DIDN’T try to restore the chateau strictly back to its original state. I know there was a similar debate about how to rebuild Notre Dame before it was finally decided to restore the cathedral to the way it was before the fire (but, of course, Dan’s chateau isn’t as iconic as Notre Dame). Either way, I think Dan would be wise to get the opinion of an architect before starting any significant work on his chateau.

let’s be honest…..Dan is living in a 28e dump, has no car, no job, two kids and an ex wife. There will be no chateau renovation. I doubt he can even afford insurance. At most, he will pitch a tent on the grounds. It’s taken him years to renovate a tiny farmhouse, mostly with cement blocks and IKEA.

 

[Gertrude Maud]

I really like the way the old and new are combined and work together. It might not be the right choice for every situation, but when so much of the original is lost I think it makes sense.

I agree, this building would have been difficult to reconcile.

 

[banshee ob]

Babbel is another subscription Programm, expensive as duck. Babbel is actually a German slang for when someone talks much, talks much nonsense, or talks incomprehensible (I had to check up that word ..). Like a baby babbels before it learns to say words.

Hmmm... I always thought that it was a play on The Tower of Babel biblical narrative which is an origin myth meant to explain why the world's peoples speak different languages.

 

[Pekey]

Dan should have bought one of those $1 houses in Italy ---- that is his budget !!
Its better to be stupid owing a little money than a Lot of money
Still ... he has that Chateau in the woods and if he ever wants to renovate it ..... make the inside modern as its cheaper in the end plus he should suck it up and hire a architect to find out if - what ever he does - is it really worth it.
If Dan was my son ...... I would go through him like a dose of salts.... he has two children and he needs to "get real" and get a proper JOB !!!

 

[OhIDontKnow...]

Why

is he not staying at the chateau where he could pick up some work and cook again? Is he too good to work there? Or is there no room at the Chateau with 40 rooms? I’m sure they could use the extra help to find a place to store all that new furniture and deal with all the moving of things for the heating.
nothing here makes sense.

I’ll bet it’s totally bleeping freezing. Thats probably why he’s not there.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

So Dan is not only manless but planless also?

Suggestion - Dan is manless, vanless and planless!

 

[thatsrich]

I’ll bet it’s totally bleeping freezing. Thats probably why he’s not there.

They can’t plug in a space heater?

 

[LittleMore Cottage]

They can’t plug in a space heater?

no they strap hot water bottles to their bodies. and I don't think they have hot water either , that is why they always look so unwashed..... I would take the 29 E little people..... air bnb before going to the shitoo... And I don't think he is welcome there anymore , Fanny and Phi Phi are not there anyway they are off somewhere warm, it's the same old thing every January Venice is calling

 

[mrsp67]

My thoughts too. In fact I don't think there is any money saved. She has lived high on the hog since realizing she could do it on other peoples money and she has no shame at all. She is so obvious that she now doesn't care what we all think of her. Her coterie of supporters believe everything she says and so long as she keeps giving them a sob story she will continue to suck them dry. I think she is loathsome!

Yes agree, the people that pay her don’t care

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Dan should have bought one of those $1 houses in Italy ---- that is his budget !!
Its better to be stupid owing a little money than a Lot of money
Still ... he has that Chateau in the woods and if he ever wants to renovate it ..... make the inside modern as its cheaper in the end plus he should suck it up and hire a architect to find out if - what ever he does - is it really worth it.
If Dan was my son ...... I would go through him like a dose of salts.... he has two children and he needs to "get real" and get a proper JOB !!!

Or any type of Job.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

And the Oscar goes to.....Stephanie Jarvis of Chateau de Lalande for her almost convincing performance of a distressed middle-aged woman
pretending to have just found out that her house is crumbling.

View attachment 1907769
View attachment 1907771

I imagine this was what happened during the pre-shoot....
Philip: Steph, let's film you sitting by the fire, heartbroken about the news about the walls.
Steph: Yes! That's a good idea! I'll sit by the fire...start filming from the side door, as you walk in.
Philip: Tears! We need a bit of tears!
Steph: Easy!

Fanny wins the Razzie Award for worst acting!

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It just amazes me that seeing as she's a French speaker, French Mother she blames everyone else by saying she didn't understand this or didn't understand that. Utter bollocks, they just didn't say the things she wanted to hear so she ignored it all and now we have the tears.

Agreed.
She also said she was completely alone at the chateau at the time and felt pressured to empty the lake.
What a load of absolute nonsense.
Physically, she may have been by herself at the chateau but she has a mother and stepfather, as well as Potts and Larkin, all of whom she could have consulted.
She has her beloved pink phone. She knows how to zoom. They were and are, only a phone call away.
I do not believe for a minute that Potts and Larkin would have sat back and said . . . 'Yeah, that's a great idea Steph. Empty the lake.'

'I'm all alone' is one of her go to ploys when she is in a jam.
The mess with the lake. Her falling down chateau.
It's never her fault.

Fanny has previously said that when she was alone (or just with Mummy) at the shitoo she had both Potty & Larkin on speed dial and would call Larkin atleast 6x a day. Being forced to drain the lake, instead of admitting her stupidity, is just another one of her damsel in distress lies she's told so often she now believes it.

 

[RWChatter]

OMG! What a hideous room. Where are the windows? Really, brown paint? It's so fugly! I can't stand it. Did I say I didn't like it? And whoever that guy is, he has a bad hairstyle.

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You're thinking this through way too much. There will be no 'plan' for Dan, because Dan doesn't do plans. There will be no upscale blend of new and old because Dan has no imagination. There will be no restoration because Dan has no money. There will be no architect opinion because Dan knows it all and has no money. What there will be is ongoing decay and reforestation. I'm putting my money on the forest.

Completely agree....Paaarfectly stated @Madame No

 

[lyna]

Thank you karma!

you could see 1 tear stream on both cheeks.

Yeah, no... That tear was from the snow melting on the leaky roof... the water traveling through all the veins and arteries of the infrastructure... droplets making their way through the cracks where the walls and floors are pulling away from the ceiling and base boards... squeezing through the fissures in the wall paper... Bang dropping square on her cheek where she is forlornly yet strategically hunched by the fire.

 

[RWChatter]

Dan should have bought one of those $1 houses in Italy ---- that is his budget !!
Its better to be stupid owing a little money than a Lot of money
Still ... he has that Chateau in the woods and if he ever wants to renovate it ..... make the inside modern as its cheaper in the end plus he should suck it up and hire a architect to find out if - what ever he does - is it really worth it.
If Dan was my son ...... I would go through him like a dose of salts.... he has two children and he needs to "get real" and get a proper JOB !!!

If I remember correctly, Dan didn't have very good role models...not the best family life....not Danfending!

 

[lyna]

If there's no B&B, why does Fanny need Nutti to manage the B&B and volunteers???
What a cushy job, just unwrapping gifts, kissing up to Fanny and bonking Cuz.

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Welcome Queen Mary to our merry bunch of 15 Tattlers!

Y'all always forgetting the three hags...

 

[Madame No]

Dan should have bought one of those $1 houses in Italy ---- that is his budget !!
Its better to be stupid owing a little money than a Lot of money
Still ... he has that Chateau in the woods and if he ever wants to renovate it ..... make the inside modern as its cheaper in the end plus he should suck it up and hire a architect to find out if - what ever he does - is it really worth it.
If Dan was my son ...... I would go through him like a dose of salts.... he has two children and he needs to "get real" and get a proper JOB !!!

Honey, Dan wouldn't be your son! You would've nipped any of that poor behavior long, long ago. It probably would never have even started if he was your son. BTW, those $1 houses in Italy are no bargain, and you sign a contract that states you will have it renovated in a prescribed period or face fines. I doubt if he is paying any child support, how could he? So, if and when he does make some money, Annalise can come after him for back payments, but I wonder about her too. She has allowed him to be the way he is without any visible consequences other than saying we are no longer a couple, live somewhere else.

 

[Karma baby!]

Y'all always forgetting the three hags...

Right?! Personally, I'm slowly morphing into a woodland wiccan witch everyday and definitely fall within the hag category!

 

[Madame No]

If I remember correctly, Dan didn't have very good role models...not the best family life....not Danfending!

Well, we've all had some drama and trauma in our childhoods, but when you finally become an adult, it's time to own up and get on with it. Not easy, but doable. I have a brother that is still stuck in his angry at dad stage of life even though he is in his 60s and dad is dead.

 

[lyna]

Right?! Personally, I'm slowly morphing into a woodland wiccan witch everyday and definitely fall within the hag category!

You rock.
Thanks for posting the vids.
I vomited so much I can fit back into my jeans.

 

[graciemckitten]

remember F4F’s acting debut in the unreleased 2014 film The Mutterer filmed at the Dump.Enjoy! Press watch on the video, it will take you to Vimeo.



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Dan is a LieLande MVP…manless, vanless, and planless.
Ironically, Phi Phi is a LieLande MVP also.

 

[Pekey]

Honey, Dan wouldn't be your son! You would've nipped any of that poor behavior long, long ago. It probably would never have even started if he was your son. BTW, those $1 houses in Italy are no bargain, and you sign a contract that states you will have it renovated in a prescribed period or face fines. I doubt if he is paying any child support, how could he? So, if and when he does make some money, Annalise can come after him for back payments, but I wonder about her too. She has allowed him to be the way he is without any visible consequences other than saying we are no longer a couple, live somewhere else.

If he was my son I would be in jail right now !
I take your point about Annalise too....... if I was her I would have hopped it back to the UK with the boys.
It seems so exciting and wonderful living in France and having a Chateau but ....... you can leave me right out of it!