The Chateau Diaries #194 Former boyband bedbug turned porcelain fondling charleston dancing parasite!

[Frenchie0810]

Watching an old episode



Can we blame Ryan for the current Squirrel situation? After all his inability to rewire the lamp and get the screw out made the new volunteer look competent in comparison...

Wow Thanks Huydecirku as I am not sure that I have seen this one. It is interesting to see Michael P so confident in himself and Snorts being quiet and a bit shy. Too bad things changed.

 

[Sparrowsfart]

4 hours? I could do it and set the table in 30 minutes. Stupid boy. And where was anything green? needs a green vege at least to go with it and a sauce for the turkey too. Even with these additions, would only take 30 minutes.

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Dan who stayed for dinner, probably just to fuck with Phillip, after saying he wasn't staying.

 

[juniperroad]

To make sense of what she wrote, try reading her comment out loud with Nati's accent.

At first, I was skeptical that it was someone from CD. I watch a lot of youtube and most channels have fans that are moderators (on youtube and facebook) and are constantly answering for them (drives me crazy) but Caroline has gone way above and beyond. I hope a *fan* wouldn't put this much time and energy without pay. Cause that is just sad.

 

[Madame de Pompanddoodoo]

@aidenbora8263
7 hours ago (edited)
@pomme800 oh you could not be more wrong you poisonous little troll. You and your ilk seem to think the tables are turning against Stephanie Jarvis ...but 3 trolls from Tattle on here don't make a ha'porth of difference Love. In fact I found SJ rather irrititating when I first saw her on Channel 4 and actually agreed with some comments on Tattle Life untill I objected to some vile hag from Oz stating that Percy and Isabelle should walk into the Lake and their bodies sent to the dump. I objected to the utter hatred and poison and was turned on by your assorted haghound pals at Tattle and then banned. So all you toxic lot have done is made me a Steph defender now. Tattle is a sick, twisted and poisonous site infested with fat disguntled menopausal Women (like the poisonous Kathy the Flogger from France) and twisted old Queens. I hope in the future the site gets closed down and the toxic trash of the owner gets sued to high heaven. There is no free speech on Tattle just pure toxic sludge and you will end up drowning in it

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Why don’t you tell it how it is Aiden why are you holding back? Anyone remember who this was?

 

[C'est moi]

Yes very telling she has no longterm female friendships-my oldest friends are from when I was at school, obviously made friends at uni too and later but the oldest friends are the ones who really know you. I never trust people who don't have or maintain friendships. Her relationships with the three men Oli, Potts and Nick are different they are all old shags or people who wanted to shag her-the dynamic with male mates is always a bit different. I honestly think Fanny is a frightful snob-I guarantee Oli, Nick and Potts are all ex public school, Fanny probably ditched all her old friends when she went to Oxford as not being from the right set.

Definately NOT Stepfending here in any way, shape or form but I am not in touch with friends from primary, secondary or college. And the friends that I had in primary didn't come up to the same secondary. The same with college friends, I didn't know any of them before I started. Our lives all went in such diverse directions and the bond wasn't strong enough.

Also, I never had many girlfriends at all when I was younger. My friends were mostly male (in a non sexual way). I know I'm not a girls girl. I have made close girlfriend relationships, that I can count on one hand, since my mid to late 30's and these are long lasting strong friendships. The people I know I can go to in a crisis and vice versa. My husband has been my best friend for 42 years - there are no secrets or lies. I have always been content in my own company, too, but I'm not a loner or aloof. Just happy in my skin.

All that said, Stephoney is definately not content in her own company nor happy in her own skin. I said earlier that she is still trying to live in her glory days of being 20-ish. She has not moved forward or evolved. It's not necessarily a case of growing up, I believe it's an evolution.

I absolutely hate phrases like "you're old enough to know better" (one of my mothers favourites) or "grow up and get a life". How can one be old enough to know better when some of the things happening have never happened before! Sorry, that's just a pet peeve.

 

[KyBourbon]

Snorts should pay the electric bill out of his pocket money that Fanny gives him if he wants all the damn lights on! What's he going to do, stand outside in the dark and admire the light shining out the windows? What a moron. I think that shoe polish has penetrated into his brain.

Exclusive footage of the chateau fully illuminated…every single light turned on per Lord PhiPhi’s edict…

 

[KiKiGee]

Pam
4 hours ago
Is Dan married?

Reply

caroline gooder
2 hours ago
No. He doesn't live with his ex-partner Annalise anymore. She and their two sons live in the homestead they built. He maybe dating someone now.

 

[Jeeves]

We don't know if she actually graduated. Knowing how much she adores and loves displaying herself, surely we would have seen a photo of her on graduation day. The only photo we've seen of her in a gown was when she and baghead did their exams. She happily broadcasts that she went to Oxford and that she is an ex-opera singer but we know that she never worked in opera. When she gave her presentation in Paris, she mentioned having contacts from her time as a singer. She did what sounded like a relatively short course in singing and that's about it. She keeps the fantasies going. If people know.you went to Oxford, they will assume you got a degree but I somehow doubt that. If she did graduate, it doesn't say much for Oxford degrees at that time. Also, they were then trying to be more diverse and taking more female students and more women. You can just imagine that the interview panel may have included some randy older dons who were taken by a fake, made-up blonde, maybe in a low cut mini-skirt!


Sorry, should have checked! I meant to say that they were taking more female students and more people from state schools at that time as they had faced a lot of criticism about their intakes.

This has been rehashed over and over again since almost the start of these threads. In one of the Patreon vlogs she claims to have graduated from Somerville College in 1996.
Such a shame that @ViscountLaLande was chased off this thread before we had chance to find out a little more. He knew her tangentially and spoke about seeing Fanny's matriculation photograph in one of the Common Rooms and also said he would be happy to dig around to find out more.

 

[C'est moi]

There was some mushing, that Stephanie wanted a château to buy, flip and sell. Lalande was never intended as a forever home.
I don't know how true that is, as it's just something I read here once...
And as @Gertrude Maud wrote, they didn't expect Derek to pass away. None the less. Lalande have become a gilded cage Stephanie pretends to love, yet cruelly massacre.

If the intention was I deed to buy and flip she bought a real bludger!

First rule of property? Location, location, location. Second rule of property? Location, location, location. It takes forever to get anywhere. It is not a highly populated area. The transport infrastructure, as in many rural French areas, is virtually nonexistent. The main town of the area, Chatearoux, is a tad dodgy (and that's putting it mildly!).

It was overpriced, madly so. Even the previous owner didn't want her to buy it (until he saw the colour of her greenbacks). It needed so much necessary work just to make it habitable. And she did none of it. 18 years down the line -
No reliable central heating in a part of the country that is known for being damp. And cold in winter.
No double glazing for the entire property.
No proper insulation.
Dodgy electrics that has already caused one fire and no update or replacement work has been done.
No modernisation of important areas - kitchens and bathrooms.
No upkeep of useful land. There is an income in those trees. And the property could easily be sustainable for heating wood forever, properly managed.
No addressing serious structural problems.

If she and her two blokes truly intended to flip that place it should have been done in less than 10 years with every single issue addressed. It became a convenient party pad for her decadent soiree and weird friends.

French property does not have the wild leaps in value, as in the UK or certain parts of the states, unless of course it's Paris. French people do not like paying taxes so property values stay relatively low. If you own property in France you pay a tax for the privilege - taxe foncieres. And it can be crippling. One reason why property is not overvalued.

She has made it all too public and now the only people who may be interested in buying it are her rabid fans in the hope of replicating f4f's lifestyle. However, I doubt that any of them could afford to buy it, the lonely pensioners that they are.

 

[mousepanda8]

5) I will never downplay or forget the enchanting effect of the ever laudatory utterances of the chateau owner I worked for a few years ago, an absolute queen when it comes to literal and figurative adornment, by celebrating every attempt at creation or even plain maintenance or domestic work with the awarding words ‘best ever in her life’ or ‘you are so extraordinarily talented’, always applauding the efforts of the only one capable and thus adding to her own charm by interminably being friendly and complimentary.
I obviously can’t prove malicious intent nor would I want to suggest any, but when I finally came to recognize the pattern, the profound non-exclusiveness of her remarks, her fictitious spell on me was promptly broken.

6)
The actual story ties together me, a well attended chateau easter party unfortunately causing a severe blockage in a sewer pipe situated high upon a ceiling, little understanding of skills needed to resolve this problem but serious good intentions of helpfulness, and one ladder only just high enough for a balanced reach, or so I thought before taking into account the pressure released when opening the valve.

The appurtenant narrative easily tempts me into meandering exaggeration so is probably best kept safely tucked away from me by your ability to imagine and my ardent need to remain eloquent, with only one aspect worthy to push forward in its real redefinition of the words messy and smelly. Oh, and this: the problem wasn’t resolved by my heroic but dimwitted performance and the meanwhile engaged plumber suffered the same fate the next day, somewhat saving my ego. The epic clean up, thematically summarized in the French saying ‘Après nous, le déluge’, also includes relevant comparison to present day USA, but I’ll spare you.

7) six years ago today, having only just started the French adventure that would turn our lives upside down in many ways but grounded us in so many more, stunned by the apparent generosity of the chatelaine who took us in while in the same breath left us responsible in and for her majestic castle without proper instructions or funds to manage the various challenges coming our way, an enduring friendship commenced when we were kindly invited to share in the Thanksgiving celebrations at yet another chateau, a magical place lit by candles and warmed by a roaring open fire, with its comely chatelaine in front of it when we entered hesitantly, wearing “Yes, it’s a nighty”, one of a vast collection we soon learned because they were all hanging from the ancient beamed ceiling, adding original enchantment to the already captivating ambiance.

 

[ploppityplop2]

what a thrilling title- well done Phillip must have used all your brain power! at least he has learnt to tell the time

Seriously that took him all day to edit? It’s just a static camera could have at least edit his voice out of it!

 

[mousepanda8]

8) I’ve managed quite well over the years to work around that nonsense, with great successes to look back on, but the years of partaking in the exuberant chateau celebrations and the incline to immense emptiness it procured in a non-negotiable way, has moved my fondness for bling bling towards a more hands-on approach, like cooking our favorite and traditional winter stews in our fancy Moroccan tagine. Just as festive!

9) a very very intresting snippet

he word still very much resonates our extravagant experiences being part of the entourage of the local chatelaine, who according to a recent CNN article about her fluttery escapades since has become a YouTube sensation by filming the lives of the people around her, mostly volunteers she has attracted to her chateau to fulfill her decadent desires and hedonistic lifestyle, a completely conceivable and catchy escape route to embark on for so many who found themselves confined to their apartments because of the global pandemic. The authority she has created by ‘just spreading joy’ is as impressive and admirable as it is reprehensible, exposed even more by the additional channel she started entirely devoted to unwrapping the precious gifts she receives unsolicited from fans all over the world, donating the revenues from adds to charity, bless her heart.


Had I not known her personally, I for sure would have been very vocal about this contumacious carbuncle, being the born moral knight I choose to portray, but my past involvement with everything related to the intrigues of this chateau, reaching far beyond the moral boundaries I so shamefully ignored, not only dissolves my inclination to speak out but takes away any claim I might think I have on it.

10) his Scrooge was about to dust off stories of French chateau life and its unsurpassed expansion when it comes to other peoples traditions, how it has ruined his festive appetite, not a word of a lie moreover but certainly not very motivating or jolly either, like the birth of the Gay-Bûche-de-Noël folklore, originating in the chateau custom of creating a glamorous group portrait around the spectacular tree on Christmas Eve, which sparked a caustic online comment from my sister because on it Ivory and I where split up and made to look like some dirndls’ husbands, and ridicule and derision fell to her through the noisily laughing mouths of the castle inhabitants, befogged to be misunderstood on their artistic intentions, retroactively ill-considered, so they added a two groom cake-figurine on their traditional French dessert and declared their allegiance to repeating that pompously yearly, prolonging our discomfort, just for the fun of it.

11) Unlike in chateau years, where the owner’s imposed motto when running into trouble was to patiently wait until another, more urgent problem arose, only to repeat that mantra again and again, I like to think solution-oriented and get quite frustrated when unsuccessful.

12) The years of being the caretaker of a neighboring chateau, even though the priorities of the frequently traveling chatelaine hardly ever involved any maintenance or repair anyway

13) Last week, Ivory experienced an astonishing discovery by suddenly recognizing the chateau where we used to live, never having noticed it in the years since our retreat from that madhouse that magically disappeared in wishful thinking, but all this time it was actually and prominently right there in one of our views, the one now mostly blocked by our neighbors newly build extension, thus providing a generous offering of protection, an unsuspected and impossible to conceptualize, but more than valid reason for its presence.

With appropriate suspicion but also an unambiguous enthusiasm we have welcomed the news that our neighbors will finally try and finish their Woe-some Wall within the next three weeks, allowing us to enshroud it in beauty soon and put an end to all the annoyance and tension it created.

 

[Imperious Me]

I've been thinking... I do occasionally... Dan seemed very confident in Fanny's vlog, looked healthier too... I propose this footage of his walls is old, he's been working on it for 8 months already, he can't show footage as it's his new TV endeavor... so the roof is on... he's at the window stage, but he can't show it yet... and now he's a shiteau owner, Fanny is looking at him in a new light, and he her I noticed... whilst Snorts acted like a confused puppy.

 

[Madame No]

Patreon flog:

Snort's wants all the lights on at La Lande because that's what he saw at the Chateau they visited. The Chateau they visited had poor paintings, expensive carpets and curtains, not my taste but hey ho-Fanny will want some carpets. Gushing Fanny (eww what a horrid thought) says she likes to visit other Chateau for inspiration to improve La Lande. I say "enough bloody inspiration do some work!!!! also you need some cohesion in the dump it is beginning to look like a tacky theme park"

At the antiques fair Snorts buys two truly naff candle holders (one for his office, pah ha hah where he works so hard) and one for the winter Salon.

Classic Fanny flirting with wine seller (he was handsome) she gushed "oh I love your labels" he replies "they're my wife's doing" ha ha ha ha Fanny still bought wine and peach liquor.

In essence this flog was not complete it just ends. I think she managed to grift a bag by plugging the woman's Etsy account.

No mention of any work no goodbye kiss my arse just an abrupt end. She can't be arsed.

Other takes from said flog Phi Phi is dressing Fanny because she is dressed like Maggie Thatcher again. Pubes stop with your Granny dress up fetish you are making Fanny look really frumpy

Snorts should pay the electric bill out of his pocket money that Fanny gives him if he wants all the damn lights on! What's he going to do, stand outside in the dark and admire the light shining out the windows? What a moron. I think that shoe polish has penetrated into his brain.

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

I suggest the Sunbrella fabrics to withstand the elements in that lovely place!

Does Sunbrella make a fabric with a pattern of roofing tiles?!? Asking for a friend…

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

Here's what I think.
Stephanie should just dump his ladyboyship PhiPhi and just go for Yorick!
Aside from all things obvious, Yorick is infinitely more useful with reno work and manual labor in the long run than not-even-a-trophy-boyfriend Snorts.

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

Somewhere along the line, I saw a 16th century French farmhouse where they had the most beautiful wallpaper in the salon. The room had the same kind of beams as the HMN. It was so lovely! It's really a shame Fanny is unwilling to accept what she has and work with it instead of against it. The panelling, if it ever is installed, will not go with the beamed ceiling no matter what she tries to do. It was mentioned in this thread that Daddy Dearest's untimely death may have caused the renovations to go askew. I don't think Daddy had anymore sense than Fanny, and I doubt if there was ever a grand plan for the renovations. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. How many rooms are now in progress? As far as I know only the red dining room is finished. What has happened with her office? Completely torn up and stalled out. Of course, now it's all about getting the Christmas decor up and running. No time for renos, once again.
View attachment 1738229

next year will be the same again...running off in Januari ..my guess is also the orient express....there is no way she will not do this....vlogging that untill almost easter...that woman is so predictable..nothing will gets done while she lives there...that terrace is collapsing first....the rest will follow...she damn knows there are structural problems...but she just takes a drink...vlogs a bit ..check her accounts...plans her next holiday...and goes to sleep....rescue that historical building...my ass...the only thing she wants to rescue is her old age money...not that heap...it can rot what she is concerned...its just a moneymaking thing...ask a lott ...lie a lott and stretch the time..and dont invest in that heap....because she knows she will never get it back....its simple as that...

 

[T Rex]

Fanny doesn't share.

What a waste of lovely fabric! Sarah would be over the moon had she received that gift- she is probably the only person who would appreciate them and put them to good use.

Which leads me to ask the question: Did Fanny actually PAY Shrek for his work with the grand salon loo wallpaper (which was no easy feat- he had to scan the painting, upload it, and design it based on the wall measurements)?!? Or did she just bat her eyes and manipulate him into doing it for free? Remember the kitchen porn tiles- Fanny was all on board until Shrek asked to be paid for his design work- then, everything came to a screeching halt- Fanny was aghast he asked for compensation, as she expected he'd just do it for free (and probably expected him to buy the tiles as well). @Clara Burnett, any insight into this one?

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

You really fit into this hate group..

 

[Madame No]

Natti was a volunteer first? What happened? Why did SJ choose Natti over Selmar? She can’t keep friends. Thank you for posting this. SJ is truly a horrible woman.

Apparently when Natti was a volunteer, she and Fanny bonded over tales of being dumped by boyfriends. When Fanny was looking for a manager, she chose Natti. While I think what Fanny did to Selmar was reprehensible, Natti was more valuable. Natti will easily look the other way and go along with anything, Selmar not so much. Fanny was probably very relieved when Selmar left. He had become a burden to her. He didn't fit in with the new plan. They used him when there wasn't anyone else, especially Isabelle. Selmar doesn't read people at all. He didn't see the writing all the wall. Fanny is ambitious and a narc. People in her world are quite disposable. She values Nasti's abiltiy to be nasty, that lets her off the hook and she can maintain her image of being the good witch, Selmar could never do that for her. Phyllis will also go along and look the other way, so will Cuz.