The Chateau Diaries #182 Nobody likes anybody in Lalande. They play with genitals, drink, food and power

[Toys in the attic]

Dan half asses most everything he does, and he incorrectly reported the history of the building in the video with his usual lack of attention to detail. We all have front row seats to the upcoming shitshow, complete with dangerous stunts, no safety equipment, blatant disregard of local codes, and sloppily performed work. Expect to see Fannys digger, cherry picker, and van at the Chateau de Shitpile.

How long will it take for him to get injured?

A familiar-looking digger can be seen in one of the drone shots.

 

[Pekey]

So..... Father of the Year has bought himself a Garden Folly !

Its not Art Deco but Victorian.

Well I do hope Fanny will gift him some of her peacocks as there are lots of perching pooing places at that Chateau!

I wonder when those trees inside the folly are pulled out - will they take the foundations with them ??

 

[Iolair]

Dan the Man: “This project has been in the works for more than two years. Sorry I didn’t tell you guys”.
Oh, Dan, you shouldn’t sell yourself short! You did so much more than that: you took a page out of your former employer’s playbook of pretending and took it to a whole other level. You pretended to prefer ratio over dreaming, pretended to have abandoned the concept of crowdfunding, pretended to be a family man with a focus on getting the family home livable after years of hardship, you have put your kids front stage again and again to ensure more donations coming your way, donations you often used on yourself, but foremost: you created a narrative for yourself that you could believe in AND sell to others as if it was true.
All the while though it must be eating away at you that the mother of your children will always be the true hero of that same story, because she’s the one protecting the boy’s interest while you live the fake fairytale.

Wondering why you didn't mention it either Clara. It can't have been that much of a secret.
Do you know if this is the "business proposition" Dan was discussing with Amaury? I wonder too if Dan has approached Fanny in order to aquire some of her precious Lalalande forest wood for his Chateau le Shithouse project?

Chateau le "Shithouse" was predictive text.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

Ah Je bent een man naar mijn hart! Evil minds think a like if you ever decide to pull a queen phillipa and decide you are bi sexual, i'm your woman!

I secretly hope that all the Hanni ross' who believed the i'm poor outcry from SJ who have since left her, will walk over to Dan.

The key is he has to be very open about his finances. His next video definately should be a longer one where he goes into detail about everything you stated above! Fanny thinks she'll get away with anything, eventually it will come and bite her in the ass. It's just waiting for that one channel. It's not the fleuries. Although they have surpassed fanny in subscribers, they are certainly not open about accounts, nor is it lively channel. Their end game is to turn the longhouses into gites, have a swimming pool and live off the gites. If we mirror SJ's patreon numbers, fleuries make 70k a month! A stay at their B&b? 330 euro a night! 4 video's a month$10k + sponsors 3000
Fleuries make nearly 100k a month on average. During the summer.
You as the expert of tattler on historical buildings and cost & time frame of things done in large format, whould it have taken you 6 months to do a kitchen? What is your guesstimate to turn the longhouses into gites time wise and considering you'll have 83k at your disposable?

Long houses with cash behind you and workmen in place 6-9 months per gite. Do you seriously think the Fleurie's are getting £100k a month that is crazy. Their B and B rooms are over priced to be honest. I don't think the Fleurie's have as many patrons as Fanny but they probably have more ad revenue and more sponsorships. Their rooms will naturally not be as busy when Chateau DIY ends and when people move on from the Chateauverse but by that time they will probably have finished the house.

 

[Luna20]

330Euros a night? That's overpriced, I can easily get a nicer room with balcony in other European countries for less than 100...

Yup, they even charge more then madame grift!
You can stay in a hotel nearby which also has a spa for half that price & swimming pool & finished outdoor seating.

 

[BigGreenMeany]

I am glad that the building will be saved. But I wonder if Dan is the right guy for the job?

 

[Luna20]

Long houses with cash behind you and workmen in place 6-9 months per gite. Do you seriously think the Fleurie's are getting £100k a month that is crazy. Their B and B rooms are over priced to be honest. I don't think the Fleurie's have as many patrons as Fanny but they probably have more ad revenue and more sponsorships. Their rooms will naturally not be as busy when Chateau DIY ends and when people move on from the Chateauverse but by that time they will probably have finished the house.

Yes I definately think they make $100k (us) during summer months.
The reason why I'm mirroring them to SJ is because of their focus on renovation.if SJ with all her dauphine's leaving is forking in 35k USD, they definately do 70K USD a month. They cry poor (never showing accounts or their patreon income of course) while they can, so in case it dries up they are sitting on a huge sum off money.
They even discussed not opening their B&B so they can focus on renovations.
Fleuries are the emperor & empress of grifting. They do it silently

 

[Reader's digest]

I do hope you and your hubby heal quickly.
I just looked up priapism, ouch!!

Thanks a lot. Exactly, he just needed to go with extravagant side effects.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

Yes I definately think they make $100k (us) during summer months.
The reason why I'm mirroring them to SJ is because of their focus on renovation.if SJ with all her dauphine's leaving is forking in 35k USD, they definately do 70K USD a month. They cry poor (never showing accounts or their patreon income of course) while they can, so in case it dries up they are sitting on a huge sum off money.
They even discussed not opening their B&B so they can focus on renovations.
Fleuries are the emperor & empress of grifting. They do it silently

and they receive far less backlash than Fanny.

Yup, they even charge more then madame grift!
You can stay in a hotel nearby which also has a spa for half that price & swimming pool & finished outdoor seating.

and it is a minimum 2 night stay because they can't be arsed to change the linen after just one night

 

[Albee]

He did mention on one vlog that he was at lieLande to discuss a "business proposition" with Amaury.
What's he going to do with a chateau? Weekend cooking classes won't pay for it.

To quote our Daphne ‘that place is a tear down’. I hope he does just that and starts from scratch.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

I am glad that the building will be saved. But I wonder if Dan is the right guy for the job?

It will be cobbled together he doesn't have the skill to do this in the correct way or the aesthetic or historical nouse. Maybe he has a gig with channel 4 like Angel and Dick did? Who knows

 

[Rory]

I find the idea of Dan not owning the driveway to his ruin hilarious. Imagine having to get permission for all the equipment and deliveries.

 

[Luna20]

and they receive far less backlash than Fanny.


and it is a minimum 2 night stay because they can't be arsed to change the linen after just one night

Of course, they grift, they don't take 100 days a year minimum away from their shitoo to destinations which are expensive, they do actually work themself. They have 2 cute daughters and a cute dog. They don't stuff their shittoo with crap while it's still under construction. Benoit finished their kitchen cabinets in 6 weeks (compared to the 6 months of annmaries paneling)

Plus they have 1 video a week + patreon. So if they stretch the timeline they can go away and not showing it to their viewers. Perhaps they did.

 

[Albee]

Let’s name Dan’s chateau…

-The Crâpeau
-The Chateau de Ladan
-The New Dump
-His Biggest Mistake
-The Shâgteau
-The 2nd Least Safe Chateau In Rural France
-When’s The Next Fire
-The Skinniest Chateau
-Stephanie’s Heavy Equipment Graveyard
-Craptown
-WTF
-Henri Won’t Even Visit
-Oops I Bought An Abandoned Steaming Pile of tit
-Chateau du Bodge
-Schitt’s Castle
-Turkey Turrets
-Chateau de la Chompers
-Falafel Fortress
-Cray Gardens
-How To Renovate A Chateau (Whilst Accidentally Killing Yourself Or Someone Else)

This! The last one. How To Renovate A Chateau (Whilst Accidentally Killing Yourself Or Someone Else)

I am ROTFLMAO

 

[Pyke]

I hope Dan gets one of Billy and Kathy's Eco Flow generators. I get so many ads for them, I am tempted just so I can look and at it whilst wearing my One Hundred Stars headband and possibly use it to be able to laugh at all the neighbours when the lights / heat go out in Winter.

 

[Summerbaby]

I think he shouldn't go down the classical patreon path. Also no one needs another channel where we watch paint dry. He should build a website, where he has different tiers of subscription to ' save up' and e.g. stay at the chateau/ buy ticket for an event on his grounds etc etc. So his 'patreons' actually feel like they buy a product not content. People who travel to south Europe passing his Chateau might consider staying there for a day or two thus becoming his patreon.

A few things Dan needs to consider:
*Talking like Queen Elizabeth the 2nd, sometimes you barely understand him. (Same with ash &terry? the peacock grabbers)
* film his search for an architect, and ask them to recommend a construction firm.
*get the quotes and show them to the world.
*calculate how much income he needs a month to start the renovations, while doing that he can do some gardening for additional income. (Shows dedication)
*show the world on a monthly bases how much he makes via youtube, subscriptions and gardening. (People love to know about other peoples finances)
*show the world what gets in and out each month.
*Upon receiving bad or good news, immediately film it because, that's when the emotion is still raw and real.
*add drama, exaggerate. E.g to clear the grounds I have called in the troops ( his formal rugby team mates show up running out from the woods, in their kilts while shouting: FREEEEDOOOOOOM!

Poor porn is a thing, we all cheer for the under dog, we love to know finances of others, we love to get rewarded.

Honestly I wish him luck and I hope he will do better than SJ and her crumbling shitoo.

You've certainly given Dan some really sound advice and a lot of food for thought. I sincerely hope that he reads here for his own sake. I totally agree with you, honesty and transparency is the key to his future success. He has witnessed first hand how much aggro/stress SJ has brought upon herself in not being so. Plus, it would make such a refreshing change too as not all chateau owners are grifters, just too many for my liking. Coming at it from a different angle, as you have suggested, would be far more interesting for supporters and viewers alike.

This has been approx 2 years in the making so, if nothing else, he is certainly tenacious - fair play to him. Just get yourself 100% organised for once in your life Dan, you know it makes sense!

I wonder whether he has met an heiress with pots of money with the same dream as him, because he defo will need it! We never really got to the bottom of whether he had/has a girlfriend, did we? I always thought it was Sabine, doesn't she herald from a rather wealthy family - maybe she has recently come into an inheritance. IDK?

CDIY is still running its current series in the UK, although haven't watched any this week. But as someone else said, SJ mentioned that next week's Patreon vlog will be aired on Friday, 30 Sept AND, heavens forbid, she too has another secret project to reveal, which I too think will be divulged during CDIY episode that afternoon - just checked and it is transmitting that day. Waiting with bated breath - NOT!

 

[Just Grift Wood]

Of course, they grift, they don't take 100 days a year minimum away from their shitoo to destinations which are expensive, they do actually work themself. They have 2 cute daughters and a cute dog. They don't stuff their shittoo with crap while it's still under construction. Benoit finished their kitchen cabinets in 6 weeks (compared to the 6 months of annmaries paneling)

Plus they have 1 video a week + patreon. So if they stretch the timeline they can go away and not showing it to their viewers. Perhaps they did.

Their kitchen was 6 months on the flog but it will last a lifetime Benoit made an amazing kitchen- timeless

You've certainly given Dan some really sound advice and a lot of food for thought. I sincerely hope that he reads here for his own sake. I totally agree with you, honesty and transparency is the key to his future success. He has witnessed first hand how much aggro/stress SJ has brought upon herself in not being so. Plus, it would make such a refreshing change too as not all chateau owners are grifters, just too many for my liking. Coming at it from a different angle, as you have suggested, would be far more interesting for supporters and viewers alike.

This has been approx 2 years in the making so, if nothing else, he is certainly tenacious - fair play to him. Just get yourself 100% organised for once in your life Dan, you know it makes sense!

I wonder whether he has met an heiress with pots of money with the same dream as him, because he defo will need it! We never really got to the bottom of whether he had/has a girlfriend, did we? I always thought it was Sabine, doesn't she herald from a rather wealthy family - maybe she has recently come into an inheritance. IDK?

CDIY is still running its current series in the UK, although haven't watched any this week. But as someone else said, SJ mentioned that next week's Patreon vlog will be aired on Friday, 30 Sept AND, heavens forbid, she too has another secret project to reveal, which I too think will be divulged during CDIY episode that afternoon - just checked and it is transmitting that day. Waiting with bated breath - NOT!

seems we are just all jaded and tired of Fanny and the content is so bloody dull it doesn't really warrant comment ha ha

 

[Pyke]

Wait for Dans sign to go up at Chateau Coco re "planning permission" as the Fleuries showed on their project for proof that something is really happening, OR was that just because theirs is "listed" and near that Church ?

 

[KyBourbon]

Oh, but Philippa has a backup plan, you know. When the exit is imminent he will announce live that he is pregnant with SJ's baby, as it's every man's right to have babies if he wants them. It will always give him another nine months of chateau, and he can use his ugly face pillow.

I'm now pregnant with anticipation and look forward to Phillipa's announcement ha ha

OMG! same here, the baby was born and will soon celebrate its 18th bday while waiting in suspense anticipation ! lol

 

[Reader's digest]

Dan has lost his bleeping mind. Here you go you filthy animals.

So this was the final drop why Analiese left him