The Chateau Diaries #170 Lately, oatmeal is more interesting than The Chateau Diaries!

[Clara Burnett]

May happen but they should not underestimate the number of us and the fact that we will have our own lawyers with us. I would hope with cameras rolling and is playing nice they will do the same.

Great! Sounds like we are all in for a spectacle. Without being able to give any details I would like to let you know I am currently working on the Dutch angle, hoping to reveal at the right moment why the Pube Prince of Not So Belle Air should fear the French government too and will be in need of a lawyer himself.

 

[Iolair]

What plum idiots those two that's are, pretending they know something about antiques during their little jaunt to the local brocante... and purchasing broken frames and an ugly used and empty Avon horsey bottle because... "daddy" FFS!

Look what they walked past!

X4 ancient Egyptian Late New Kingdom 18th/19th Dynasty (circa: 1550 - 1295 BCE) Ramesside era black bitumen wooden ushabti grave goods.
Rarity value: approximately €2500 each, according to an Egyptologist mate I've shared this screen shot with. Haven't known him to be that excited in ages!

Admittedly, not many people just wandering about a French brocante on a sunny day would know of, or care about them, but Fanny's been to Egypt. Had she paid any attention whatsoever to the history of Egypt during her trip, instead of staggering about the sand in her heels and mounting camels in that ridiculous (and disrespectfully) short dress, she might have appreciated that buying these four ushabti would have been a good investment. But of course, she didn't recognise that they might be important, that her fake Egyptologist friend might, just might, have told her something about them. Even if she had no interest, she could have purchased them for him as a gift. Hell, he'd probably sell his soul to have them. The seller could not have realised what he had and would have let her have all four for €100. Idiots just went ga ga over bloody pink toile again!

 

[tat life]

I was bored at work...

DTM thinks the pink twirl room is full of

 

[JP in SC]

Greetings Tattlers! Announcing our international CHANGE THE LYRICS contest (so we get over pineapple and oatmeal & get our creative juices flowing while Fanny Figures out her next set of diversions which she calls Chateau Diaries).
In an earlier post, one of our Tattlers started to re-write the opening of Beauty & The Beast theme song, but only got through the first opening refrain. I recommend you all take your turn at this. If you intend to sing along, please gargle with vodka (or liquor of choice) and in the case of Jules 100, a Miller Lite. So here we go, to the tune of MY FAVORITE THINGS (you all should know this song) from The Sound of Music.

HAIR DYE ON PHI PHI & WHISKERS LIKE PUBIES
DULL COPPER KETTLES & WARM WATER BOTTLES
GIFTS FROM THE GRANNIES & SCREECHING TO SING
THESE ARE A FEW OF STEPH’S FAVORITE THINGS

CREAM COLORED PULL-UP & FANCY FAUX BROACHES
NO DOORBELLS, NO TAXES & CRAP STUFFED IN ATTICS
WILD PEACOCKS POOPING & VERSAILLES FLINGS
THERE ARE A FEW OF STEPH’S FAVORITE THINGS

STEPH IN WHITE DRESSES WITH BOOBS PUSHED UP NECK HIGH
BOTOX & BLACK ROOTS & FAST BLINKING LASHES
FREEZING COLD WINTERS WHERE SHE TAKES VACAY
THESE ARE A FEW OF STEPH’S FAVORITE THINGS

WHEN TAT CRIES
WHEN NUTTI BITES
WHEN LAUGHTER FAILS
STEPH SIMPLY COMES UP WITH HER FAVORITE LIES
AND THEN SHE JUST GOES AWAY

RAINDROPS THROUGH ROOFTOPS & ROTTING OF BEAMS
AMAURY SANS SHIRT & MUMMIE WHO SCREAMS
DOORS THAT ARE HIDDEN &. DAN’S NOT AROUND
PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH STEPH’S COLLECTION OF CROWNS

PERCY IS SMILING AT STEPH’S DADDY’S PORN PRINTS
PHI PHI IS STIL ON HIS NAIL PAINTING STINT
WALLPAPER PEELING, BATS FLYING BELOW
THESE ARE THE THINGS STEPH DOESN’T WANT TATTLERS TO SHOW

GERRY IN PLAID AS STEPH WEEEEE’S & IS GLAD
#4 SCOOPED BY A GUEST, OH THAT IS QUITE BAD
DRUGS & COCKTAILS AS THE CHAPEL DOES FALL
STEPH DOESN’T WANT THE LAKE AND FACADES FINISHED AT ALL

WHEN THE MONEY‘S GONE
WHEN THE PATRONS SHY
WHEN STEPH IS FEELING BLUE
SHE’LL SIMPLY REMEMBER THAT SHE NEEDS TO SHOP
AND THEN SHE WON’T FEEL SO BAD


Now if some tech savvy Tattler could pull the video clip of the song, super impose the faces of the LaLande characters onto the cast from the Sound of Music, and record a voice over with the above lyrics - then we’d have ourselves a little masterpiece.

 

[Clara Burnett]

Yes…I think that the way SJ chooses to handle the situation will speak volumes. She knows they’re coming. Either she’ll be forthright and open (she’s had plenty of time to prepare), or she’ll shut them down and throw them out…or something in between. Will be interesting to see what happens. The thing is, she really can’t feign “surprise” and pretend not to be able to answer because she wasn’t expecting the tough questions. That excuse is off the table. She can either be truthful, she can try to be deceptive, or she could disengage and ignore.

The thing is, even if she's not surprised by the actions of the group @Isabelle6541 I've got some surprises planned for her, let's say as a backup. People are coming for her. Tick Tock.

 

[Clara Burnett]

Clara, if your (and Isabelle's) plans don't work, will this leave you exposed? We don't want you in Fanny's bad books, and although I'm sure you can take care of yourself and then some, no-one wants to see you hurt or banned from the HMN. Pretty sure Fanny can be quite vicious and vengeful.

Vicious and vengeful indeed and I have learned that up close and personal. She's no kitten, lacks all empathy and even while she is still not sure who I am, she attacks random people in her orbit, mostly without any form of warning. On the other hand, I have spend years polishing up my skills of flying under all radar and if she turns out to have nine lives, I plan to have at least ten. Don't worry about me. Even if she thinks she can expose me, she's in for a embellished surprise

 

[Jules100]

Special edition #4.

 

[Elviemary]

Found this little gem in tonight's comments, which has now been deleted.

 

[vitanova]

Hello. I was lurking here for some time and now I have some things to say. I started following shatow in the time of our second lockdown (autumn/winter 2020/1; I should be learning Spanish during that time, ffs). My "love" started to cool after that trip to Lago Something with Oliver and his lady. I'm "alergic" to some things, one of them is gushing over fascist poets. After that I started to notice all kind of weird things. I find her relationship with Dutchman very unsettling. I watched only couple of episodes of that gift thing and I think it's disturbing. And so are Christmas preparations and Easter parties.
What I want to say is about lake. I don't remember how long lake is no more (10 years?) and in this time a new microecosystem developed there. She should leave that "field" like it is. Luckily, if she runs out of money nothing will happen there in near future.

Sorry for typos etc. English is not my first language

 

[Linus]

How ironic

 

[Jules100]

@john eccles, I have been putting off doing your Steve / Daddy’s bootleg tile ripoff because it looks really hard to do on my iPhone’s photo editing markup tool. The Eiffel Tower at night on the water… beautiful, but intimidating. I tried my best, I hope it’s ok.

@Kotare, you gave me a great place to start, wish they were all this easy!

@Xorubyxo123

@Margo Polo

I am almost done, for reals this time. I’m trying to make one for everybody to do with as they please. If you haven’t seen yours yet, try searching your name by me in the tattle search bar.

 

[Clara Burnett]

Or perhaps he has seen the light. That he's been a mug supporting her all these years when she's been playing at being a businesswoman with a few workshops earning money to keep the place ticking over whilst she goes off on her holidays. That she's only ever seen La Lande as a pied a terre. Now he can see how she is coining it through YouTube & Patreon & so doesn't need his financial support any more. For him an expensive holiday home in the middle of nowhere that as a family man now doesn't have the allure of the drinking party palace that it used to be. So give Fanny & her beau a free holiday knowing they'll jump at the chance of that softening the blow that they're out now?

Actually it's the only way for Stephanie Jarvis to spend time with her bff Larkin, as his wife Marie refuses to spend more time at the shittoo. She is not the kind of person to say no and deny her husband anything, but spending time at the shittoo has become such a drag and she really can't anymore, or so I've heard. Apparently they are going to use this holiday to talk about this and try to mend things, setting boundaries for Stephanie Jarvis. It will not work, as boundaries do not go well with narcs like her.

Dana likes her food over done...

Dana, food and the word 'like' should never be used in the same sentence.

 

[graciemckitten]

What other chateau restoration channel has their owners traveling to other destinations for over 50% of the year? The Dump is just a part time party pad. It has never been the Shittelaine’s real home for the majority of the year. She spends months in South Africa, weeks and weeks in London/ England, and weeks traveling to The Larkin family vacation home in Portugal in the last few years, Amsterdam to see Potts, traveling with her “boyfriend” of the moment, etc.


If she had not been forced by the pandemic to stay at the Dump for a few months, her YouTube channel would have never gained popularity. If she had to truthfully show her life at the beginning of Chateau Diaries, ( that she is a lazy spoiled grifter who only used the farmhouse as a part time debauchery pad and she and her mother own multiple homes) she would not have gained viewers and been able to set up a Patreon account to gather hundreds of thousands of dollars for herself. From the beginning, she hid the multiple properties and travels, and played up the narrative that she was a little cold starving orphan princess who needed to be rescued in her crumbling farmhouse who didn’t even have money to buy a lawnmower. She also failed to mention that her mother was wealthy and Percy is loaded with cash. Why couldn’t Percy buy a damn lawnmower?

She has always lied and manipulated reality, truly all” smoke and mirrors” as Clara has often mentioned. Smoke and mirrors: Just like she hid her filming for her new travel channel while being supported for her non existent renovation and non stop traveling. Fanny has no moral compass.

 

[graciemckitten]

View attachment 1499097

Stephanie's Grand Tour of Europe
2 minutes ago
It will be just me when it’s the chateau tours (as Philip will be filming), and just me when it’s a history-style vlog, but it will be both of us when it’s of antique fairs or town tours, I think. So we’ll mix it up!

So for the past several weeks/ months when Fanny has continued to rake in tens of thousands of dollars under false pretenses, she has been traveling around shooting content for a travel show and stockpiling videos for a new money making venture. She is truly a scammer to her core. And many of the gushing comments, again, are accounts that follow no other content or have no other videos associated with them, much like fake accounts or store bought comments. Watch her subscribers and views instantly jump into the thousands, much like one would see with store bought subscribers and views.

She cannot and will not finish any projects at the Dump but wants to race around Europe on pensioner’s dime with her sleazy boy companion.

Have you noticed all her new video titles focus upon her, her emotions, or her issues: I am so worried……, the day I have dread is here….. Narc to the extreme. She do wants to be a YouTube personality/influencer. She is is middle age woman, who lives in squalor, wears dirty clothes, has questionable hygiene with unwashed dirty hair, and wants to be paid to travel and read postcards, recipes, tourist pamphlets, excerpts from books and Wikipedia entries for hundreds of thousands of dollars per year.She will shove her Ollie footage on her new channel. She has a room at Ollie’s home as a home base for shooting footage all around Spain.

So now she wants people to send her gifts and pay her hundreds of thousands of dollars per year to travel and indulge herself at her leisure while Nic the tree guy harvests wood for her profit, pay Anne Marie,the wood working hobbyist to slowly and painfully create 3 feet of wood moulding per month that could be purchased more cheaply for the crumbling farmhouse, and provide guests for her B and B to pay Nutty and for Ñutty and Anne Marie to kind and run the Dump while she plays.

I think we now know why all the excitement about the nail polish…transactional Fanny at it again. Watch her views, subscriber accounts, and comments for the new channel, compliments of Ñutty, Snorts, and various companies who provide such services for a fee.

She was most likely dipping into her Patreon funding yet again to fund her travels. What has happened to the hundreds of thousands of dollars to be spent on the Dump.? She has not spent e en a third of what she has collected on true renovations on the Dump.

And Nic is the new Dan. She is sick. She is a shameless con and grifter.

Daddy Derek was the first to indulge the princess, then Larson, Potts, and Ollie, then she grifted from anyone else that had the misfortune to cross her path, and finally hi5 the big time when she fleeces YouTube viewers and Patrons with her lies and grifting. Grifting is who she is.

 

[Isabelle6541]

May happen but they should not underestimate the number of us and the fact that we will have our own lawyers with us. I would hope with cameras rolling and is playing nice they will do the same.

Sorry. I was voice replying in a rain storm.
It may happen but they…

… we will have our own lawyers with us.

also - we are going to be recording. A few of us will be. With very obvious cameras. She should be familiar with them as she flounces in front of them with CH4. She may even recognize a few of the people behind the cameras.

 

[SleepingBeauty123]

I'm amazed that SJ states it's hers and man cubs first summer holiday together, apparently non of the other destinations counted as they were classed as working holidays...My heart bleeds for her... words fail me...is she not aware of the difficulties a lot of people are going through at the moment. Not knowing how they are going to manage financially because of the ongoing energy crisis and the ever increasing cost of living. Just for once can she not engage her brain before opening her mouth? She is used to being the priviled princess but man cub jumps on the band wagon and even he talks about ownership of things as ours..news flash Man cub... there is nothing in that chateau that is yours, other than the never ending crap you buy and the bequeathed crap from your grandparents. I hope that Patreon day is the day of her undoing... she really needs to knocked from her ivory tower and take a step into the real world..

Thank you! The first couple of minutes of that Patreon video were really disturbing. The fact that she didn’t consider her trip to visit her friend’s new house in Spain a summer vacation is literally insane. They were working? Poor things. She had all of that footage when they stopped at the Best Western (haha - LOVE the tattler that found that out!) at the old bridge. And they had so much footage that I bet they stayed for more than one night. My husband spotted the Michelin rated restaurant sign that they are in…I think she showed 2 or 3 meals. That is a lot for just supposedly getting up and continuing on the journey to SPAIN, which doesn’t count as a vacation. Or when they went to Venice for Tess’s birthday but didn’t want to film since it was to give them a break so they could just “enjoy themselves”, aka: No Pink Phones allowed. Or when they went to visit Manor and Maker and obviously stayed in a hotel. (Which I will Stephend (?) her on that one…I wouldn’t be sharing a bathroom with everyone either). I liked how Philip tried to say that their trip to Barbados last year was a working trip. No, that was your secret “I’m traveling during Covid restrictions because I’m an asshole, and the only way to get into the US was to stay in certain countries for “x” number of days before entering the US”. She didn’t film much of that either since that was her new kaboom honeymoon period with Phillip. Weren’t they there for 2 weeks? I don’t remember. I honestly do not know how she keeps a straight face and says, “We’ve never had a summer holiday!” Aaaaaaaghhhhh….this woman is freaking delusional! So are the patrons!
One other thing. @Patriciarella - your posts kill me! I fast forwarded through the part about the twirly stool, so I feel like I must go back and watch that part now…even though you have already given me a spoiler alert that it obviously doesn’t get completed. I miss your squirrel memes!

 

[Frenchie0810]

Let’s ask Clara. . . . .
Is NUTTI pregnant?!
We’d love your intel on that. . . .
Thank YOU!

OMG Nutti is not preggers.. leave it alone.. and also SJ is not going to marry squirrel boy. I would rather discuss oatmeal and pineapples.

 

[Madame No]

Will the real Stephanie Jarvis please stand up?

 

[Toys in the attic]

Why does everything have to be 'a secret'? That's one way in which the vlogs have certainly changed.

Are there industrial spies trying to steal Amaury's revolutionary hinge design, so they can get a head start and launch first in the competitive global market of hidden chateau doors?

Are we supposed to believe there are hordes of paparazzi staking out the airports of France, so they can get an exclusive on where the chatelaine is going for yet another holiday?

Get over yourself, woman!

 

[Clara Burnett]

if she is pregnant she would have the pregnancy of an elefant...

Like I said, the Argentinian Bully is just fat. With the return of Mummy Dearest soon, she will no doubt be spoken to in that manner, as Isabelle Jarvis has strong opinions about people that can not restrain themselves and indulge in overeating. She makes no exceptions, even her "charming" sister Chantal has to suffer the consequences as she is often ridiculed publicly AND behind her back.