The Chateau Diaries #16 Mirror mirror on the wall, let Tattlers gather and watch me fall!

[lolander]

Title wouldn't so I had to edit Thank you @Krypgal for the new title.
And once again, thanks for the glossaries @MojoDublin and @Rory

tattle glossary

CD - The Chateau Diaries
Tarts boudoir - Chateau de Lalande
HNW - heap in the middle of nowhere
Flat 34B - bolt hole SJ

LOTL/LOTLL - Lady of the (Lost) Lake, aka Stephanie (b.1975)
SSB- She Who Shouts from the balcony, SJ
QBC- Queen of bed chambers - SJ
MB - Madame Boneyparts -SJ
SJ - Stephanie Jarvis
Fanny - Stephanie Jarvis

MMAF - Mad Man's Arse Face, i.e. mummy
Mini Apron - Isabelle Jarvis (nee Biggio) married 1962/3

Potty/MP - Michael Potts
Cinder-Ruth- MPotts current squeeze Ruth Kelly

Nitti/Nutty - Nati Oliveto

Floral Roadkill (FRK / RK) - Marie Wiik

BJJ - Baby Jesus Jeans, aka Philip Janssen
PP (Nostril of Lalande) - Prince Philip
UH - Uriah Heep - Philip
Renfield - Philip

MP/MP2/MPK - Michael Petherick
MOLD: Man Of LOST Design - Michael Petherick
Crybaby - Michael Petherick
Sir Trotter BDSM - Micheal Petherick
Master - Swedish director of Elias
BS - Billy Spielberg - Billy Petherick
Trotter, Petherdick - any Petherick family reference
Ma Trotter - Sherrie Petherick
Pa Trotter - Mr Petherick Esq
PILF: The only Petherick I'd like to be filmed with - Pa 'Mick' Trotter

Dear Brenda/BG - Brenda Gibbons (superfan/Facebook admin) from Donegal Ireland
Karen Cbomb - other superfan/admin, Canada
Jumpsuit Jill - rabid serial deletor of unfan comments on premier chat - Jill Scott, New Zealand

Donegals - Limericks (renamed in honour of Dear Brenda)
Agents - Tattlers who find out juicy background info

Chat O (or variations) - Chateau (how Brenda says it)
“BuyMeACoffee” - give me money (no, really, give me money, I really need it)

MBNS;GF - more boring narc stuff; gimme facts

PSDFHB - princess shouting down from her balcony
PRSDBP - princess in her robe shouting down from her balcony at the peasants

Wet Blanket - Fun hoover
Mickey Dodger - Woman who avoids sexual encounters

Thanks to @Rory for the SSB Main Squeeze Glossary:

1. Gregory Mason Clark - Husband and boyfriend, on and off at uni. SJ approx 18
2. Nic Larkin - apparently just friends at uni (but also dated according to CB?)
3. Married Husband 22-24??? (wedding registered in July 1999, she was 23 at the time)
4. Michael Potts met through Oliver Strong on and off 10 years. Open relationship in the end. Buys Chateau during relationship age 29.
5. Edmond Fokker van Craayenstein (player in tight trousers who pretends to be an aristocrat-BF with guy who said "let the 80 years-olds die off")
6. Mason Dwinell on and off (last we heard he is still staring at the sun?)
7. Ludwig Norweigner (otherwise known as Nordic Weirdo, alcoholic friend unceremoniously dumped at the train station without a ticket)
8. James Jardine (turned out to be "too much" for the girl who never has enough)
9. Daniel Hengeveld (nicknamed Druggy Daniel, because of his not so secret habits. IJ was furious about that romance and the fact that he introduced narcotics into the shat-o. Christmas 2016)
10. Various volunteers ad nauseum (bread oven guy Walton, Christian We etc.)
11. BJJ (any port in a storm, eh Stephanie?)

 

[Phoenix Richards-Bingham]

Looks like I’m starting this discussion! What shall we talk about today, class?

I watched Michael’s video and some of it seemed kind of manic, like he was trying too hard. But it wasn’t bad. I do agree that he needs to get on with the cottage reno. It doesn’t look like a Beatrix Potter cottage but it’s going to look great if he does what he said he was going to do.

 

[DutchGrumbler]

That explains a lot... I like these threads, guilty pleasure to watch this crash happening in slow motion

 

[JustCommonSense]

Hello everyone! I have been reading for a while and thought it was time that I added my own two cents (not giving them to Patreon though!)…

Before I start ranting, I have to say that I discovered SJ’s channel in early 2020 and I watched the entire backlog of videos during the now famous first European lockdown. She has a real way with people and her joy is infectious – qualities that were terribly needed when we all first started to isolate. The memory of these videos is dear to me.

My first surprise was when she mentioned in one of those earlier vlogs that there were many “Château de Lalande” and that guests had already driven to the wrong place. Well, turns out that the mix-up is all SJ’s doing because the Château should not be called “Château de Lalande” but “Château de la Lande”. Small but mighty difference when you ask your GPS to show you the way! A traveler with no grasp of French geography could very easily be misdirected and not question the route before arrival.

I am puzzled as to why the name was changed. Was “la Lande” not deemed to be a grand enough name? “La lande”, in French, refers to a wildish not very fertile area of land with only shrubs and bushes. The area that she lives in is called “La Lande”, so is the street that the château is on and that is also the name of the local stream. As far as I can tell from a quick search, there are many “Château de Lalande” but only one “Château de la Lande”. Hers. There may be others, but obviously not as prominent landmarks as CDL. Was the name "la Lande" too obviously rural?

This leads me to my second point which is that the rurality of the location and the building are not being honored. Her taste is clearly influenced by Italy (and the south of France, to a certain extent, the Riviera having been Italian, historically). This is of course only a matter of personal taste but I am a little offended by the design choices that so clearly do not fit the character of the building and the area. Pink gravel, really? There is nothing pink in this landscape. You should have to go further south to find it, or to fancier castles further north that have been influenced by Italian architecture at the time they were built or remodeled.

By contrast, the pink color also highlights the grey of the walls and the damp issues. That damp will of course make the place feel colder than it already is and, eventually, damage the structure of the building. The building probably won’t collapse today, nor tomorrow but it needs to be addressed. Please correct me if there already is a drain that I am not aware of. I would be surprised though, because the leak that we saw in the vlog this week, in my opinion, is not a leak. My observations could be wrong, of course, but I believe that the water did not come from the bathroom but is a result of the heavy rainfall lately. Let me explain:

With the castle sitting on top of that hill (and the drop behind the castle towards the bed of the lake), I suspect that the rain water was not as easily absorbed by the land in front of the chateau, which, as we know from the gardening attempts, was already rockhard before the gravel. The gravel has probably made it even easier for the water to travel further down. I tell you, that gravel again! Rural courtyards have one or two layers of greyish gravel, just to prevent muddy feast. That is it. (In honesty I am probably just truly disliking the pink and finding every reason there is to fault it). Heavy rainfalls coupled with the absence of an efficient draining system, has made the water travel differently than usual. Since water comes up and out again wherever it can, it found itself under the floor of the chateau. As we know, there is no cellar and the limestone tiles are laid almost directly over the mud. That the garden is being prioritized over the installation of a drain around the building cries out mismanagement to me.

We all make mistakes but it looks to me like the Patreon money is starting to fund them! Talk about “maquiller le cochon” (putting make-up on the pig). Even worse, the funds required for these make-up sessions are filmed by british television, but SJ can’t show the results before it airs. YT is the milkcow but the network comes first. Doesn’t sound very fair to all those that have allowed her to move forward by watching the adds, participating on patreon, etc. I don’t have an issue with people giving their money away if they want, I don’t judge. Just like I won’t judge people’s appearances. But as you all have noted before, when such funds are being mismanaged and used for personal gain, it makes my skin crawl.

This was a long enough rant to start with, wasn’t it?

 

[Jeeves]

@JustCommonSense - Your post about the original name of Lalande / La Lande was very interesting and made a great deal of sense. Welcome aboard.

 

[Clara Burnett]

Hello everyone! I have been reading for a while and thought it was time that I added my own two cents (not giving them to Patreon though!)…

Before I start ranting, I have to say that I discovered SJ’s channel in early 2020 and I watched the entire backlog of videos during the now famous first European lockdown. She has a real way with people and her joy is infectious – qualities that were terribly needed when we all first started to isolate. The memory of these videos is dear to me.

My first surprise was when she mentioned in one of those earlier vlogs that there were many “Château de Lalande” and that guests had already driven to the wrong place. Well, turns out that the mix-up is all SJ’s doing because the Château should not be called “Château de Lalande” but “Château de la Lande”. Small but mighty difference when you ask your GPS to show you the way! A traveler with no grasp of French geography could very easily be misdirected and not question the route before arrival.

I am puzzled as to why the name was changed. Was “la Lande” not deemed to be a grand enough name? “La lande”, in French, refers to a wildish not very fertile area of land with only shrubs and bushes. The area that she lives in is called “La Lande”, so is the street that the château is on and that is also the name of the local stream. As far as I can tell from a quick search, there are many “Château de Lalande” but only one “Château de la Lande”. Hers. There may be others, but obviously not as prominent landmarks as CDL. Was the name "la Lande" too obviously rural?

This leads me to my second point which is that the rurality of the location and the building are not being honored. Her taste is clearly influenced by Italy (and the south of France, to a certain extent, the Riviera having been Italian, historically). This is of course only a matter of personal taste but I am a little offended by the design choices that so clearly do not fit the character of the building and the area. Pink gravel, really? There is nothing pink in this landscape. You should have to go further south to find it, or to fancier castles further north that have been influenced by Italian architecture at the time they were built or remodeled.

By contrast, the pink color also highlights the grey of the walls and the damp issues. That damp will of course make the place feel colder than it already is and, eventually, damage the structure of the building. The building probably won’t collapse today, nor tomorrow but it needs to be addressed. Please correct me if there already is a drain that I am not aware of. I would be surprised though, because the leak that we saw in the vlog this week, in my opinion, is not a leak. My observations could be wrong, of course, but I believe that the water did not come from the bathroom but is a result of the heavy rainfall lately. Let me explain:

With the castle sitting on top of that hill (and the drop behind the castle towards the bed of the lake), I suspect that the rain water was not as easily absorbed by the land in front of the chateau, which, as we know from the gardening attempts, was already rockhard before the gravel. The gravel has probably made it even easier for the water to travel further down. I tell you, that gravel again! Rural courtyards have one or two layers of greyish gravel, just to prevent muddy feast. That is it. (In honesty I am probably just truly disliking the pink and finding every reason there is to fault it). Heavy rainfalls coupled with the absence of an efficient draining system, has made the water travel differently than usual. Since water comes up and out again wherever it can, it found itself under the floor of the chateau. As we know, there is no cellar and the limestone tiles are laid almost directly over the mud. That the garden is being prioritized over the installation of a drain around the building cries out mismanagement to me.

We all make mistakes but it looks to me like the Patreon money is starting to fund them! Talk about “maquiller le cochon” (putting make-up on the pig). Even worse, the funds required for these make-up sessions are filmed by british television, but SJ can’t show the results before it airs. YT is the milkcow but the network comes first. Doesn’t sound very fair to all those that have allowed her to move forward by watching the adds, participating on patreon, etc. I don’t have an issue with people giving their money away if they want, I don’t judge. Just like I won’t judge people’s appearances. But as you all have noted before, when such funds are being mismanaged and used for personal gain, it makes my skin crawl.

This was a long enough rant to start with, wasn’t it?

If that's your start, I can't wait for you to get going!

 

[OopsieDaisy222]

@JustCommonSense Damp, chipping exterior walls, a crumbling terrace, leaking toilets and radiators, a furnace that spontaneously turns off, freezing interior, rodents all in the main building but FORTUNY FABRIC to line her boudoir was a goal for her Patreons to fund. I mean....what in the world.

 

[Jeeves]

I was looking at one or two earlier CD vlogs that I had previously missed.
Her friend's home in Scotland is beautiful.
Fanny can't quite disguise her annoyance at the young child 7.05!

 

[Croquet_Stripe]

@JustCommonSense Damp, chipping exterior walls, a crumbling terrace, leaking toilets and radiators, a furnace that spontaneously turns off, freezing interior, rodents all in the main building but FORTUNY FABRIC to line her boudoir was a goal for her Patreons to fund. I mean....what in the world.

So one day, like the House of Usher, the house will split apart and sink into the (lost) lake.

 

[lolander]

@OopsieDaisy222 "All I know is that if she were truly interested in preserving the building for future generations she wouldn't make half the decisions she's making. 100 years from now all that may be left is that lake with the odd scrap of fortuni fabric caught in a branch in the trees."

Yes, SJ's understanding and ours how to 'bring the chateau back to life' are very different. She wants a 'honeypot' to attract people to visit and party at her sumptuous and luxurious shat-o, it's the next generation after her who will do the structural repairs. She also understands that patreon money won't last forever and she prioritizes the decor, the walls aren't coming down in her lifetime.

She's not interested in her B&B business either, it's just a necessary evil to make ends meet and to have volunteers keep her company in the house.

 

[Welsh-chatelaine]

Hello everyone! I have been reading for a while and thought it was time that I added my own two cents (not giving them to Patreon though!)…

Before I start ranting, I have to say that I discovered SJ’s channel in early 2020 and I watched the entire backlog of videos during the now famous first European lockdown. She has a real way with people and her joy is infectious – qualities that were terribly needed when we all first started to isolate. The memory of these videos is dear to me.

My first surprise was when she mentioned in one of those earlier vlogs that there were many “Château de Lalande” and that guests had already driven to the wrong place. Well, turns out that the mix-up is all SJ’s doing because the Château should not be called “Château de Lalande” but “Château de la Lande”. Small but mighty difference when you ask your GPS to show you the way! A traveler with no grasp of French geography could very easily be misdirected and not question the route before arrival.

I am puzzled as to why the name was changed. Was “la Lande” not deemed to be a grand enough name? “La lande”, in French, refers to a wildish not very fertile area of land with only shrubs and bushes. The area that she lives in is called “La Lande”, so is the street that the château is on and that is also the name of the local stream. As far as I can tell from a quick search, there are many “Château de Lalande” but only one “Château de la Lande”. Hers. There may be others, but obviously not as prominent landmarks as CDL. Was the name "la Lande" too obviously rural?

This leads me to my second point which is that the rurality of the location and the building are not being honored. Her taste is clearly influenced by Italy (and the south of France, to a certain extent, the Riviera having been Italian, historically). This is of course only a matter of personal taste but I am a little offended by the design choices that so clearly do not fit the character of the building and the area. Pink gravel, really? There is nothing pink in this landscape. You should have to go further south to find it, or to fancier castles further north that have been influenced by Italian architecture at the time they were built or remodeled.

By contrast, the pink color also highlights the grey of the walls and the damp issues. That damp will of course make the place feel colder than it already is and, eventually, damage the structure of the building. The building probably won’t collapse today, nor tomorrow but it needs to be addressed. Please correct me if there already is a drain that I am not aware of. I would be surprised though, because the leak that we saw in the vlog this week, in my opinion, is not a leak. My observations could be wrong, of course, but I believe that the water did not come from the bathroom but is a result of the heavy rainfall lately. Let me explain:

With the castle sitting on top of that hill (and the drop behind the castle towards the bed of the lake), I suspect that the rain water was not as easily absorbed by the land in front of the chateau, which, as we know from the gardening attempts, was already rockhard before the gravel. The gravel has probably made it even easier for the water to travel further down. I tell you, that gravel again! Rural courtyards have one or two layers of greyish gravel, just to prevent muddy feast. That is it. (In honesty I am probably just truly disliking the pink and finding every reason there is to fault it). Heavy rainfalls coupled with the absence of an efficient draining system, has made the water travel differently than usual. Since water comes up and out again wherever it can, it found itself under the floor of the chateau. As we know, there is no cellar and the limestone tiles are laid almost directly over the mud. That the garden is being prioritized over the installation of a drain around the building cries out mismanagement to me.

We all make mistakes but it looks to me like the Patreon money is starting to fund them! Talk about “maquiller le cochon” (putting make-up on the pig). Even worse, the funds required for these make-up sessions are filmed by british television, but SJ can’t show the results before it airs. YT is the milkcow but the network comes first. Doesn’t sound very fair to all those that have allowed her to move forward by watching the adds, participating on patreon, etc. I don’t have an issue with people giving their money away if they want, I don’t judge. Just like I won’t judge people’s appearances. But as you all have noted before, when such funds are being mismanaged and used for personal gain, it makes my skin crawl.

This was a long enough rant to start with, wasn’t it?

Excellent post!

 

[MojoDublin]

Cannot wait for restrictions to end
then the real sport will begin - desperate superfans anxious to block book out the chat ooo and expecting to be entertained 24/7
It will be a blood sport

congrats @Krypgal

 

[Rory]

Hello everyone! I have been reading for a while and thought it was time that I added my own two cents (not giving them to Patreon though!)…

Before I start ranting, I have to say that I discovered SJ’s channel in early 2020 and I watched the entire backlog of videos during the now famous first European lockdown. She has a real way with people and her joy is infectious – qualities that were terribly needed when we all first started to isolate. The memory of these videos is dear to me.

My first surprise was when she mentioned in one of those earlier vlogs that there were many “Château de Lalande” and that guests had already driven to the wrong place. Well, turns out that the mix-up is all SJ’s doing because the Château should not be called “Château de Lalande” but “Château de la Lande”. Small but mighty difference when you ask your GPS to show you the way! A traveler with no grasp of French geography could very easily be misdirected and not question the route before arrival.

I am puzzled as to why the name was changed. Was “la Lande” not deemed to be a grand enough name? “La lande”, in French, refers to a wildish not very fertile area of land with only shrubs and bushes. The area that she lives in is called “La Lande”, so is the street that the château is on and that is also the name of the local stream. As far as I can tell from a quick search, there are many “Château de Lalande” but only one “Château de la Lande”. Hers. There may be others, but obviously not as prominent landmarks as CDL. Was the name "la Lande" too obviously rural?

This leads me to my second point which is that the rurality of the location and the building are not being honored. Her taste is clearly influenced by Italy (and the south of France, to a certain extent, the Riviera having been Italian, historically). This is of course only a matter of personal taste but I am a little offended by the design choices that so clearly do not fit the character of the building and the area. Pink gravel, really? There is nothing pink in this landscape. You should have to go further south to find it, or to fancier castles further north that have been influenced by Italian architecture at the time they were built or remodeled.

By contrast, the pink color also highlights the grey of the walls and the damp issues. That damp will of course make the place feel colder than it already is and, eventually, damage the structure of the building. The building probably won’t collapse today, nor tomorrow but it needs to be addressed. Please correct me if there already is a drain that I am not aware of. I would be surprised though, because the leak that we saw in the vlog this week, in my opinion, is not a leak. My observations could be wrong, of course, but I believe that the water did not come from the bathroom but is a result of the heavy rainfall lately. Let me explain:

With the castle sitting on top of that hill (and the drop behind the castle towards the bed of the lake), I suspect that the rain water was not as easily absorbed by the land in front of the chateau, which, as we know from the gardening attempts, was already rockhard before the gravel. The gravel has probably made it even easier for the water to travel further down. I tell you, that gravel again! Rural courtyards have one or two layers of greyish gravel, just to prevent muddy feast. That is it. (In honesty I am probably just truly disliking the pink and finding every reason there is to fault it). Heavy rainfalls coupled with the absence of an efficient draining system, has made the water travel differently than usual. Since water comes up and out again wherever it can, it found itself under the floor of the chateau. As we know, there is no cellar and the limestone tiles are laid almost directly over the mud. That the garden is being prioritized over the installation of a drain around the building cries out mismanagement to me.

We all make mistakes but it looks to me like the Patreon money is starting to fund them! Talk about “maquiller le cochon” (putting make-up on the pig). Even worse, the funds required for these make-up sessions are filmed by british television, but SJ can’t show the results before it airs. YT is the milkcow but the network comes first. Doesn’t sound very fair to all those that have allowed her to move forward by watching the adds, participating on patreon, etc. I don’t have an issue with people giving their money away if they want, I don’t judge. Just like I won’t judge people’s appearances. But as you all have noted before, when such funds are being mismanaged and used for personal gain, it makes my skin crawl.

This was a long enough rant to start with, wasn’t it?

Thanks for explaining this. What you said makes complete sense. Didn't SJ mention drains when discussing with the gardener and new gravel?

 

[JustCommonSense]

If that's your start, I can't wait for you to get going!

Thanks! But hopefully I'll keep myself somewhat in check or there soon shall be a "Wanted" sign out for me, in which case, I will of course launch a gofundme to cover my legal fees. Posting here is very out of character for me. Please forgive my cautious nature!

The only way I can explain my need for an outcry is my profound love for old buildings. I was initially very happy to see all these people / channels taking on these difficult tasks of saving them from decay. To British people, French prices seem affordable but that is only because most French people don't make enough money to buy them and fund the upkeep + renovations + taxes. And those that have the funds won't invest in the less prestigious properties... I mean, a château without a cellar to store your wine in?

To be fair SJ reminds us that they have done some dusty work in the beginning. I also understand that money runs out after a while and that personal life and other challenges come in the way. But once you incredibly strike gold - by claiming that it is your duty to do the land and chateau justice - don't stray away! I don't even mind Fortuny fabrics and what not, it is wonderful for the viewer to learn about them. I also enjoy Stephanie's travels because she does take the viewer with her and does her best to share cultural tidbits. But vanity projects should come last. You can make a place look great with little money - to make it FEEL good, it has to be sound.

On the bright side, the recent success is paying for a couple of salaries of people that seem nice - that is an achievement in these dire times. For now, I'll just try and be happy for them (instead of seeing an old building being saved)! Just sorry that your friends were mistreated by her mum and that she did not step up.

 

[Clara Burnett]

Didn't SJ mention drains when discussing with the gardener and new gravel?

And didn't you just confuse discussing with actually doing something? She's all talk...

 

[Sandton]

Man with bag over his head set to coin over 150 000 of strangers money.

In just 18 months Nick co owner of lala land stands to profit 150k. Nick who bought la la land 16 years ago with Stephanie Jackson is said to be delighted at the opportunity of increasing the value of his property portfolio.

Nick has for years had to contribute to his holiday home. in 2020 as millions of people across the worlds life changed as covid infections multiplied and force life for many to shut down. His ex partner Stephanie who has been posting videos on YouTube reached overnight success as people from all over the world send her money. She simply didn’t know where her next three course meal and champagne was going to come from...



“ The chateau has for years put so
much financial strain on me. I have
had to go on 10 day holidays instead
of my usual 2 weeks prior. Marie
my partner has had her eye on a nice
little red sports car. I might just treat
her this year”


Michael Potts

 

[Clara Burnett]

On the bright side, the recent success is paying for a couple of salaries of people that seem nice

Her words, not proven yet. I'm sorry but it's just not very clear who's paying for what, is it?

 

[Milre]

Looks like I’m starting this discussion! What shall we talk about today, class?

I watched Michael’s video and some of it seemed kind of manic, like he was trying too hard. But it wasn’t bad. I do agree that he needs to get on with the cottage reno. It doesn’t look like a Beatrix Potter cottage but it’s going to look great if he does what he said he was going to do.

He is in luuuuuv....

 

[Sandton]

He is in luuuuuv....

and what a wonderful feeling. But then the heartbreak come, there’s nothing worse than when the feeling isn’t mutual. But that mean and that means and so the cycle continues

 

[Gibson]

Today i made a discovery-Apparently that well known pleasure company-Ann Summers do a 'Toile de Jouy' voyeur inspired wallpaper.
I googled this ( feel free to do so yourselves) and i immediately thought of Fanny's father and wondered if his paintings were the inspiration for the designs?

It's not something i would aspire to have on my walls it may give Mrs G ideas-but thought they may want some inspiration when thinking of how best to display the paintings... I can't think of anything else which does. The new hole would be a great place to display-imagine poking around down there and coming upon the wallpaper and paintings ( unintentional pun!)

Obviously art is subjective and apologies to those who aspire to those artistic freedoms of the fifty shades variety. I did laugh at one of the pictures which showed a cosy living room inspired picture on instagram.

I really should be sorting my shed out today, but it is raining and i am avoiding Mrs G giving me more jobs to do.