The Chateau Diaries #159 Fannys funny farm is fecking filthy, say that five times

[Margo Polo]

I guarantee that Amory put up that chandelier and he came in at the end to finish it off with tightening some screws for the smoke and mirrors .



Now that is truly sickening

Totally agree. Remember when Philip could not lift the cement stool and along comes Grant and picks it up with no problem… . I can’t imagine Philip caring the chandelier up the ladder, no way could he have done that.

 

[SleepingBeauty123]

There is no way Philip hung that chandelier by himself. I doubt he has the strength to lift it over his head. Amaury probably got roped into it. Stephanie’s comment about, “wow - these lightbulbs are really bright…I wonder what kind THEY installed” gave it away. Philip was pretending to fiddle with the chandelier and Amaury was already on to his next project. He didn’t bother to change for dinner in case there were any emergencies he needed to go fix…ceilings crashing down, radiators springing leaks, toilets leaking…

I’m sure Stephanie offered to pay Ian extra to film him since she’s been getting so many questions about not seeing any renovations done.

Loving the custom tiles by Jules! You are really talented if you are just using your finger to do those! I wish I had a better profile pic. But I picked my name and went with the most obvious picture since I’m going through that menopausal insomnia and I’m too tired to find a new profile picture. Mine would just be lame. I’m not a huge Disney person either which makes it even more ironic. But I love seeing everyone else’s! I would love to attend the Tattle Patron Day in Key West. Sept 6 is my birthday so it would be fun! However, I think I developed heat stroke the last time I went to Key West and was so drunk I don’t remember much else. I remember that I walked up 105 stairs to the top of lighthouse and it was at least 105 degrees. The number “105” sticks out in my memory. After that, I don’t remember much. Except that I was thiiiiiirsty! And I drank and drank…oooh, the drinks were delicious! Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend since I don’t know if it’s a smart idea that I ever go to Key West again. I will find a yellow dress to wear that day and be there in spirit with all of you.

 

[Jules100]

All this laundry talk. As you may know, my house is under a bit of a renovation. I have a 1950’s old Florida house with an exterior laundry room / utility room. Now it’s been demolished and will be rebuilt into a 2 car garage and interior laundry room. In the mean time, I go to the laundromat a couple times a week. It sucks and is kind of scary. Lugging 4 packed baskets in & out. $30 each time, about 2 hours washing & drying, then 1 hour folding when I get home. But it has made me like the laundromat raised off the ground machines. I hope when my new laundry room is finished, I’m able to get the stands that raise up residential machines. It makes a big difference.

 

[Jules100]

@Jules100 now that would be a challenge to get me old coiffe in on one of your glorious tiles. I have starched and pressed it specially xxxx

 

[Trengilly]

Looks like there so weird sponsor shit going on…

Girls, what did I say?…
“…considering taking sponsorships”….
Come Friday and they’re rolling up the driveway with free shit in tow - I’ve had it

 

[KiKiGee]

Karen Howatt
1 minute ago
Why can’t you get any repairs done or finish anything?

Hope Walker
16 minutes ago
Stephanie please treat yourself and fix up the bathroom. Your walls are cracking and the baseboards need caulking. You deserve a lovely bathroom. Ignore the haters and do it up.

Natasha Travis
19 minutes ago
I have a suggestion for your bathroom ceiling I was watching a person doing a DIY on a TV show and he used spray paint that he sprayed into a small pan and then he painted the ceiling with it with a rolling brush and it turned out like a gold ceiling it was so beautiful it’s the only way to get a metallic paint is to use the spray paint can imagine he used multiple spray cans to achieve the ceiling. It be so pretty if you could do it in a perfect colour to go with the bathtub. I like the inside colour personally. Just an idea for you!

REPLY

Tricia Kelly
15 minutes ago
Or you could wallpaper ceiling in gold colours like Sarah Beeney suggests in one of her latest shows

 

[Clara Burnett]

I have a feeling that Nic Larkin is into some extremely kinky things. Should I ask Clara?
Maybe I am to afraid of the answer..

Larkin kinky? Maybe in your dreams. In reality he is only willing to act up (or I should say dress down) for the true love of his life Stephanie Jarvis, who likes him best in tight leather jeans, no top and a bit of fur. She likes fur on all her "man", of which Larkin (I hate to admit) is the most masculine of them all, boring, but definitely masculine.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

trishxxxooo
18 minutes ago
Oh Stephanie you are so full of yourself






REPLY

 

[KiKiGee]

The Chateau Diaries
19 hours ago
In England, the word ‘lover’ is almost exclusively used to describe an extra-marital affair. Philip’s definitely my boyfriend

 

[Sasha Groves]

Friday musings;

Snorts appears not to Snort anymore, for this reason I’m going to change my nickname for him to Skullet in homage to his bolding head and long locks Thats one very peculiar mullet going on. I know SJ is stuck in the 80’s but .. come on now!

Also why isn’t he contributing to the heating refurb bill? The owners are and he insinuates it’s his heap too .. oh wait, I forget he’s a kept man!! Oops, my bad.

 

[Clara Burnett]

@Clara Burnett, I’ll trade you a personalized cheesy bootleg Daddy’s tile ripoff for an extra hot, top secret piece of chateau gossip. Maybe something you’ve been saving for the right moment? Maybe the time is now?

I'm sorry, @Jules100, can I be an avid fan of your work and a party pooper at the same time? I'm kind of fond of my current (and never changing) avatar...

 

[graciemckitten]

Fanny is so cruel to animals. The poor sheep were allowed to inbreed until it was stopped by a non owner of the Dump, the sheep were not shorn until mid summer despite France having had very hot temperatures. And then she was unhappy not to have a baby lamb to use as an Easter prop so she has Kirsty bring over lambs for the Dump crew to video and manhandle. I was disappointed that Kirsty indulged Fanny’s whims and transporTed the little lambs to be exploited for photo and video content. Ît seems like Kirsty is getting the Shittoo fever and playing more and more into being one of Fanny’s go to people to set up stories or manipulate info for the videos.

When Fanny stupidly drained the pond, she went to take a nap because she was bored of watching the fish die gasping for breath after she completely drained their environment and left them flopping around in the mud to die. She has no empathy and lacks a conscience.

She still doesn’t contain and protect the chickens or peacocks properly, causing some of them to unnecessarily die.

She didn’t take Ruby to the vet when Ruby was seriously injured. Selmar did it because he was worried for Ruby.

And yet, when Ruby, the sheep, and the disgruntled peahens and chickens stage their coup, Fanny will still pretend to not understand why they are upset with her.

It is so frustrating to watch her mistreat animals again and again for her own personal gain. Rinse and repeat.

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

Goodbye from the Social Climbing Chateau Owners Convention of July 2022! See you again in August as we rummage through other people’s garbage at the next Brocante!

 

[Jeeves]

Isn't he already married? Do you mean they are having another, or is it for someone else ?

It's a post-Covid celebration as they could only invite 30 to their Downing St garden wedding reception allegedly. Funny, it didn't stop him breaking the rules for his other parties!
This could be a storm in a Champagne glass as I'm not sure that Carrie will want to hang around now that Bojo has outlived his usefulness to her. (Sound familiar?). The great blonde buffoon could soon be auditioning for wife #4. Interested, Fanny?

 

[Toys in the attic]

@Jules 100, having seen your paarfectly tiled tiki hut, I'm just following up on the Key West get-together. I'd need to arrive around 1a.m. and require an extra room for my 'cameraman'. I'd love to bring you a gift - would you prefer squirrel wine or honey?

 

[Le Baiseur]

I finally got round to watching the latest CD- what the fork with the hidden live wire in the turret?!? It could have been a lot worse: Ian-the-plasterer- metal tool + hidden live wire = not so Happy Birthday. Kudos to Golden Man Bun for sorting it out. Maria made a "You Survived Today Without An Electrocution" birthday cake for him using courgettes because she did not have a lot of ingredients, food-wise (Fanny will never approve of expensive ingredients being used to make food for the workers- sad cake did not even have frosting, just some foraged fruits from the garden.) BJJ prancing about because Amaury gave him the workshop key (no worries there- BJJ IS a tool, but has no idea how to even operate a screwdriver.) More press for 100 Stars, as the owner is staying there (sans archaeologist partner) and free robes for the guests for this weekend. Ala Oprah, "You get a robe! YOU get a robe!" But NOT for you, grabby Herr Nuti- who is being sent away with Man Bun for a few days (because she can not play nice, and fears every female will try to seduce her Golden Man Bun ticket- even Josie was a perceived threat!). New peachicks- crikey, Kirstie, you know better than to pick them up and let everyone pet them. Annaliese colouring BJJs receding hairline (he wanted orange- is he trying to look like the clown her really is?), and Fanny's (which is a lost cause, as she won't maintain it.) My sorority sister is back, and cooked fish for dinner. (Which grossed out the delicate flower that is Snorty- he is used to fish coming from a can.) Fleuries did not put out a vlog today- suspect they are too busy actually getting things done. Billy put one out about the library paneling he purchased that allegedly came from the Rothschild chateau- which is actually beautiful (later than Fanny's), in better nick, and got it for only 4000 Euros of Gwen's money (plus 500E delivery)- I can't be mad at this one- every time I buy a package of Lesaffre yeast, I like to think I am supporting Billy's renovation efforts (it is better than Patreon because I get bread and pizza crust as bonus at the end!) And now I am off, as it is close to bedtime, to check in on what my favourite chateau grifters, Sillymar and Tatty has gotten on to (they should be branded as the cure for insomnia.) Any word these days how our beloved Roadside Flower Killer is doing with her new "chef" job? Or did she just quit after a day (as I suspect) and go mum?

That cake might as well have been a bran muffin. Mmmm, thanks.
He should have gone orange!

 

[Madame de Pompanddoodoo]

Christ Have you ever seen a tinier piece of smoked salmon? As my mother would say you couldn’t fill a hollow tooth with that.

 

[M&MsMom]

me time.

347 comments by patron's to this week's video and the overwhelming majority support sponsorship, with only a handful of naysayers. Again, no response from Fanny and crew to any of the patron's comments this week. They must be too busy travelling the French countryside in the convertible.

There were, however, some interesting patron comments about the tiles...
Jules, do you think you can whip up a tile for Wailing Banshee? Also who knew Wailing Banshee was an international financial mkts expert.
Wailing Banshee
Hi Gang! Love the colors you chose for the Tac Room they'd be the Exact same colors I'd choose! So happy to see your Dad's tiles done I know they meant the World to you! Way to go Steve! Great job! As far as sponsors go - it's your channel do what you can! Still watching the Global market and BRICs growing... heard Iran, Saudi Arabia, n Germany are in negotiations to join. Which of course affects the US Fiat dollar. So stay cautious . Best to bring in as much revenue as possible. Best to All! Xoxo... btw can we get a wailing banshee in the woods on your dad's tiles? just kidding Stay Frosty...

Jules, how about a tile of Potty swimming in the moat?
Joanne Richardson
Is the Marquis bedroom painted in stone blue too? I love the tiles I particularly like that You and Nic are represented, wouldn’t it be great if Steve could include Micheal Potts swimming in the moat too.

I don't even want to think about this.....
Dorelei McMillan
Childrens books with your father's art. Cartoons featuring these tile characters.


https://www.patreon.com/user?u=57944088

I do not have the expertise of Jules when it comes to tile making, but I have developed my own tile here as I felt sort of left out. You'll recall that my last avatar was the handmaid from Gilead giving the finger. I decided to use that as my guide, as it would be easier than trying to draw Zena, who replaced my Gilead avatar. I'm excited to say, it could also be used as an option for the Wailing Banshee!

(I don't know if I'm going to upload it as my avatar. I got tired of the unfriendly "FU" avatar, which doesn't typically reflect my charming personality).

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Sometimes we drift a bit... When I'm not interested in where we're drifting, I skip those bits because I know others are enjoying their chat.

Fanny has drifted so bloody far afield from where her vlogs first started she's unrecognizable, and the current smoke & mirrors is not very attractive.

 

[BlessingoftheHounds]

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@Jules100 I am totally blaming @Albee !!!
I have taken the liberty to tile your gorgeous tiki hut for you... I hope you like it... from all of us tartlets x

p.s. you're doing reno's at the moment right? I am available for tiling if required

p.p.s. It's gotta be Miller Light time Cheers!

But wait, you're not done! You need to make holiday wrapping paper out of this! The colors make it appropriate for both Christmas and Hanukkah. I'll take four rolls.