The Chateau Diaries #157 You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy, caution is advised!

[Pyke]

E mail 65568
Dear Stephanie I attach a knitting pattern for your fans who knit to produce new beanies for Philip. They can download it at £5 a time you know like
at Christmas. We would like to feature the many beanies that arrive in the gift grab in our autumn 2023 magazine so please instruct Natti to get a shift on opening them. We want a photo of Snorts wearing each one in turn. Thanks . KNITTERS WORLD Publications Inc.

 

[Summerbaby]

I was gonna ask the same thing!!!!

Great minds think alike @Arfarf.
Jules100 answered the question further down this thread. And it didn't take 9000 unanswered emails for her to do so either!

 

[silvergirl]

What a pathetically obvious money grab, using AnnMarie's friend to play the part of a heating contractor just for the video. Doesn't matter that he's got Azztech in the UK, he'll never install anything at the HMN. Dan and AnnMarie might install a couple of wood burners but that's all. Winter will always be the off season there.

...hmmm...starting to get a bit messy for the Jarvis clan. ...we have RICO in the US...wonder if France has anything similar...

 

[Jules100]

As always, great job @Jules100. You nailed it.
Just out of interest, how long does it take you to edit your vlog - asking for a friend, obviously!

I was gonna ask the same thing!!!!

Stephanie and Philip should be experts at editing CD YouTube videos by now. They have both done so many. It does seem weird to me when they complain about how long it takes.

 

[HalcyonOrganic]

EMail # 1112
Steph please help me, I have ADHD and need to get my hands on some medication. I borrowed money from you before and never paid you back do I know you won't mind me asking. A few grand would be great, then I can also pay Andrew to meet me in Paris for an hour, you know how I fell for him last summer.
I could paint over / trace one of Michael Potts photographs of Lalande for you to sell as a download.
Michael Petherick aka Teabag to my many fans.

Oohhhhhhhhhh now that’s mean. I am used to that by others, but that you do that too now..

 

[Vaffle]

Email #6969 from Onlyfans New Accounts

Dear Miss S Jarvis and Miss P Jansen,

Many thanks for contacting OnlyFans regarding why your new account has been shut down.
On this occasion, the OnlyFans new accounts committee has come to an unanimous decision to block your account on the grounds of inappropriate activity with either an underaged male or a pet monkey - we haven't quite worked out what Miss Phyllis Jansen is species wise. Here, at OnlyFans, we have a strict policy for not platforming creators who engage in indecent acts with animals or under developed humans. Although the reaction from the new accounts committee was strong, sadly it wasn't a favourable one and therefore we'd like to return this explicit homemade video you submitted to our platform and advise you destroy it immediately and volunteer yourself for a psychiatric assessment. Please be rest assured here at OnlyFans, we have soaped down our computer screens and eyes, and will not address the contents of the video again. The new accounts committee members have been issued sick leave with double pay and we expect to begin counselling sessions before the end of the next working week.

With all good will,
OnlyFans

I will be sending antibiotics and antivirals to all who involved at OnlyFans.

Ps- this made me spit my iced tea. Plop that tiara on your head

 

[Pyke]

Gas Safe Engineers are highly qualified and regulated in UK so leave Nathan alone. He wants to steer clear of the Chateau HMN, one thing we can ALL agree on.

 

[KiKiGee]

“Ass Bread”…a La Lande delicacy!!! It’s got to be on the menu for the patron party!

This is worth reposting.
The Chateau Diaries #135 Arsebread is a delicacy in France
Apr 8, 2022
#10

 

[mrsp67]

A few of you fr

Is Nathan a past paramour of the little orphan princess? She never pays money unless there is some connection she can cash in on, personal or otherwise. Like when she gave the monthly charity donation to a friend’s very dubious charity which may or may not have existed at the time. Or the donation in South Africa which generated a big tax write off in South Africa for Fanny /Isabelle/Percy. She is always scheming. Remember their family motto “ Some thing for Nothing.”

One day the Netflix expose on Fanny will be called, “ Something for Nothing: The Little Orphan Princess Stephanie Jarvis Story.”

Idea for you fruit cakes ( I love River) A few of you French tarts should make calls to heating companies using Nuts, Phi, or associated names and get some French quotes done for heating?

 

[Summerbaby]

Gas Safe Engineers are highly qualified and regulated in UK so leave Nathan alone. He wants to steer clear of the Chateau HMN, one thing we can ALL agree on.

I 100% absolutely agree with you.

Nathan's rep and company does not need to be tarnished by a one off association with the HMN just because Amaury is his mate. And, I personally don't buy that he paid 5 previous visits to the HMN either.

Actually, tbth, Amaury should have in no way brought him into the hornet's nest that is the HMN. Shame on Amaury - he has changed so much during the past year! No has to question why?

Did anyone else notice that throughout the entire time that Amaury was being filmed for SJ's Patreon's vlog last Wednesday, that he kept his arms crossed over his body - isn't that a form of body language speak for being uncomfortable, or perhaps, protecting himself in maybe being found out in the future for his pre-agreed lying etc on behalf of SJ?

 

[Imperious Me]

Around 18:00 both Amary and Dan are questioning why have ornamental pear trees in a potager rather than fruit bearing pear trees. Guess what Fanny's response is? Their blossom is so much prettier! Fruit tree blossom is very short lived too.

Fanny level of mistrust, AKA paranoia, must be sky high these days - GOOD!

I have to laugh at her stupidity... that if someone was in the shower at the time they'd have fallen through the ceiling Surely she can't be that stupid? Damp drywall and insulation were holding up the shower pan Fanny? Now THAT would be a problem. And honestly, we're constantly renovating, and when something goes awry, one or two of us discuss the plan of action, we don't have an entourage of monkeys with opinions...

 

[billybudd]

I am not Tina and I am not Ian. No matter who Stephanie Jarvis seems to believe I am, her blaming innocent people for my wet work as you call it, is a less fun part of it. I am well aware it disrupts peoples lives and apparently even peoples work and I do understand people hating me for not revealing my identity and get them off the hook. I honestly feel though that that's her responsibility (for putting them on public display) as it is their own for allowing to be associated with her schemes and profiting from it.

The ability of the N to blame everyone else for the shitstorm he creates is literally destabilizing a 245-year-old democracy as we speak.
It's a world-wide phenomenon.
With similar strategies, rhetorics, and motives, Jarvis is doing the same on the micro scale. One reason for her goggly-eyed fandom.
Resist. It means something. Here and hereafter.

 

[Imperious Me]

Gas Safe Engineers are highly qualified and regulated in UK so leave Nathan alone. He wants to steer clear of the Chateau HMN, one thing we can ALL agree on.

I'll assume they follow the same rules in France as the UK because of the European union.. but I wouldn't have thought different countries follow the same safety rules... That's why I question why she wouldn't use French heating tradesmen for something as important as this...

 

[Summerbaby]

...hmmm...starting to get a bit messy for the Jarvis clan. ...we have RICO in the US...wonder if France has anything similar...

What is RICO?

 

[silvergirl]

I am very new to filming myself and editing videos. It is very hard for me to do it because I am very shy and self conscious. Sometimes it’s hard to just get out a coherent sentence while filming. I know I have too many edits, but I just try to get through a couple sentences at a time because it is a bit overwhelming. I am slowly getting used to it and I’m always trying my best. I have the very basics of editing down and sometimes have to ask my teens how to do something a little different. I can usually film, edit and have it processed on YouTube in 2-3 hours. Each time gets a little easier.

...no need to be self-conscious at all...you are adorable...

 

[Imperious Me]

A few of you fr



Idea for you fruit cakes ( I love River) A few of you French tarts should make calls to heating companies using Nuts, Phi, or associated names and get some French quotes done for heating?

Caught the two lovebirds in an embrace on the last flog, during the email dump. I’m sure she meant for this to be edited out, but the whole flog was an editing mess:
View attachment 1386238

No, that wasn't a mistake...

 

[Clara Burnett]

Thanks for the reminder @KiKiGee This is beginning to feel like Groundhog Day. Yet again Squirrel boy is MIA when there is any cleaning up to be done. It would be interesting to know @Clara Burnett if the insurance company did pay out for this deliberate act of sabotage.

There was hardly any real damage. Ian fixed it himself and did not charge his hours.

 

[Summerbaby]

Thanks for the reminder @KiKiGee This is beginning to feel like Groundhog Day. Yet again Squirrel boy is MIA when there is any cleaning up to be done. It would be interesting to know @Clara Burnett if the insurance company did pay out for this deliberate act of sabotage.

Everything where the HMN is concerned, is 100% groundhog day - no doubt about it! They could actually make an updated Groundhog Day II film version.
Suggestions of actors to represent the true life HMN's current players please. AND, I do know that this has been suggested in previous threads too, but, it needs updating.
How about :
IJ - Cinderella's wicked step mother
PJ - Ally Alexander from "It's a Sin"
Potts - Hugh Grant
SJ - Mirander Richardson from Black Adder
Amaury - any character from Game of Thrones
Nutty - one of The Witches by Roald Dahl
Dan - A serf extra in any historical film drama
Annalise - a pretty serf maiden from any historical drama too, obviously married to Dan
Dana - a tavern serving wench, AKA something entirely different back in the day - draw your own conclusions!

The list is endless.

 

[Clara Burnett]

Can we bring our own ass bread to the patron party? I think other peoples ass bread is gross.

To make things a little more interesting: I have rsvp'ed to an invitation to come to the Patrons Day myself. Tick Tock, Stephanie, looking forward!

 

[billybudd]

I am very new to filming myself and editing videos. It is very hard for me to do it because I am very shy and self conscious. Sometimes it’s hard to just get out a coherent sentence while filming. I know I have too many edits, but I just try to get through a couple sentences at a time because it is a bit overwhelming. I am slowly getting used to it and I’m always trying my best. I have the very basics of editing down and sometimes have to ask my teens how to do something a little different. I can usually film, edit and have it processed on YouTube in 2-3 hours. Each time gets a little easier.

I had breakfast the other day with an 11 year old genius/regular kid. He'd just finished building a website and already knows how to film and edit videos. I'm sure they all do, and if they didn't, learned during lockdown.
His parents don't allow him to do TikTok, but he knew the name of the Afro-Italian kid who is now the number one Tik Tok content provider. We did high fives. Since I lost that brain cell with the king of Tik Tok's name in it within seconds of learning it.
I love Tik Tok. It's all visual learner information and no gasbagging. Even on -- especially on -- Twitter people are gasbags in 266 characters. I'm sure Tik Tok has its goons.
The kids are all right. Glad you have some to keep you on fleek.