The Chateau Diaries #150 Stephanie Jarvis Wipes Back to Front - The Lalande Way

[ComtesseRose]

Congratulations @Le Baiseur for naming the thread, I took the first one and added - The Lalande Way, because isn't it just Oh so Lalande to do eveything back to front?! LOL.
Congratulations @lalablahblah for reaching VIP status, I hope you are ready to name thread #151
Welcome back @MojoDublin hope to see you again when you've settled.

Most liked posts from the previous thread:



Sasha Groves
Active member
Tuesday at 10:47 AM

• #521

“The great thing with a garden is; you can always start over”
A comment lifted from the Chelsea Flower Show flog, some very good points tbh.
The answer to the initial question is that the English lady got a Belgium designer to plan a French garden.

Last edited: Tuesday at 10:55 AM

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Jules100
Chatty Member
Monday at 12:32 AM

• #82

Imperious Me said:
They do lock it up because Mattress Ticking guy couldn't get in for eggs

I don’t believe that Jason Dubey stayed outside the chateau if he truly believed he was the only person there at the time. He just didn’t share the video of his interior exploration. I would have gone inside, it’s probably easy enough. I would just carry around a bottle of wine or booze with me & if I got busted, just hold it up & ask, “Who wants a refill!” or “It’s 5:00 somewhere!” or “It’s 10:45AM somewhere!” or “This ridiculously expensive bottle won’t drink itself!” or “Let’s play Pictionary!” or “Holy tit, I just saw Henri!”. I’ve actually got too many excuses, no one would doubt me and I don’t think people really care that much about what’s going on.

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Jules100
Chatty Member
Monday at 12:58 AM

• #86

Imperious Me said:
AND... Those skinny steaks Grant cooked looked anemic and overdone. Steak should be seared and don't crowd the pan. Though they were sliced so thin it would be hard to sear them and still have them pink...

Stephanie sliced the steaks in half so there would be enough food for everyone at dinner. Except for Grant’s, he got to eat the big one. Steph suggested brussel sprout pasta or asparagus & egg if it there wasn’t quite enough to go around, but everyone said no.

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Jules100
Chatty Member
Tuesday at 3:00 PM

• #544

Madame de Pompanddoodoo said:
Ok own up you guys. How much are you being paid to comment on the shitshow. I’ve received nothing so far, I give my time freely in the name of charity!

I get paid $1,000 for each comment on Tattle & $1,000-$5,000 per comment on YouTube depending on the commotion it causes. I also occasionally receive $1.50 off Miller Lite coupons. So sweet of you to comment for free @Madame de Pompanddoodoo, I didn’t know that was still a thing.

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LOL @Jules100 you were on fire last thread





Patriciarella
Well-known member
Monday at 6:54 PM

• #332

Dan! Annmarie! It was funny when you locked Jason out but it’s me. Oh Baghead I didn’t see you there, wait is that my grandfather’s shirt you’re wearing?

Grant I can see you cooking. Let me in! Grant don’t use my fork to pick up that big steak. No! It is too heavy, my fork will bend. Dan stop using my mayonnaise.

Ruby how did you get in? Oh the other window that Hanni jumps in. I can’t, my jeans are too tight. Of coarse I tried the door the peacock comes in but Potty changed the locks when he saw me with OUR keys.

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As always lovely lurkers, newbies, oldies, returnees and flying monkeys, consult the wiki, as it is better to do your research, than to be Stephanie Jarvis who, with an English degree from Oxford University, mistook Vita Sackville-West's husband for Harold Bloom and not Harold Nicolson - and to think it'll be on Blue Ivy's internet forever.

 

[notanangel]

What happened with the B&B prospect for FRK? I just saw on Instagram that she’s going to spend (part of?) the summer in Norway. Strange but seems the best option for her. So many changes in such a short time.

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

What happened with the B&B prospect for FRK? I just saw on Instagram that she’s going to spend (part of?) the summer in Norway. Strange but seems the best option for her. So many changes in such a short time.

I suspect that possibility was rescinded after the current folks at the windmill reviewed her social media. They sure dodged that jam jar!

 

[Summerbaby]

I suspect that possibility was rescinded after the current folks at the windmill reviewed her social media. They sure dodged that jam jar!

Exactly what I am thinking.
I pity her poor car as it certainly takes a real bashing with all her constant travels. France to Norway approx 1,500 miles at least, will take her days the speed she goes at, e.g. slow! Sincerely hope she had it serviced.

 

[Tea with lemon]

What happened with the B&B prospect for FRK? I just saw on Instagram that she’s going to spend (part of?) the summer in Norway. Strange but seems the best option for her. So many changes in such a short time.

So, Scandinavian in France, will spend half the summer in Scandinavia.
Or will she rebrand everything again? For the third time in a month.

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

Exactly what I am thinking.
I pity her poor car as it certainly takes a real bashing with all her constant travels. France to Norway approx 1,500 miles at least, will take her days the speed she goes at, e.g. slow! Sincerely hope she had it serviced.

As the van was given to her and not earned I doubt she’s bothered with the maintenance. She’s much like Dan when it comes to looking after tools.

 

[KiKiGee]

Deb Coates
2 minutes ago
So much inspiration for LaLande. Stephanie. The “Dead Box” is an excellent idea.

 

[pasta_aldente]

Yup expert of all things SJ says in the video that Vita was married to Harold BLOOM. So much for editing. She even delayed this one and had PLENTY of time to make adjustments. Soooo she is busy traveling - where will she pop up next. Whack-a-mole. Although Marie with the blue van gives her a run for her Patreon money.

 

[HouseLebel]

Hmmm… Starting to delete incriminating videos?

 

[KiKiGee]

Reposting Susan Mace comment... we now have a reply.

Susan Mace
3 hours ago
You said in a previous reply that your big projects this year were the Grand Salon and the garden but what about your heating? The last we saw were water leaks all over the Chateau and you and Amaury working out the sizes of new radiators. You said then that this was the year of the heating.

REPLY

The Chateau Diaries
45 minutes ago
We’re still collecting heating quotes, so we’re aiming for completion in time for winter 2023/24 But we Lalanders are a hardy bunch - and we have the added joy of knowing that this winter should be our last cold one! Also, as the new rooms are completed (Marquis’s salon and grand salon), the final heating pipes and radiators are being installed.

 

[T Rex]

Thank you @ComtesseRose for the fresh new thread- you are amazing! Congrats @Le Baiseur for the fabulous new title- it will long live in infamy (I wish I could see the expression on Fanny's face when she sees it ! Welcome to VIP @lalablahblah- cocktails in your honor in the lounge tonight! We missed you @MojoDublin , and I hope all is going well with your move.

 

[Spoilt Victorian Child]

Hmmm… Starting to delete incriminating videos?

It's too bad she stopped numbering her vlogs...makes this hard to verify. Does anyone know for sure that she deleted them?

 

[Luna20]

Welcome back mojo! I hope Miss Jarvis has NOT inspired your decoration style.

 

[Pyke]

View attachment 1313804
Reposting Susan Mace comment... we now have a reply.

REPLY

The Chateau Diaries
45 minutes ago
We’re still collecting heating quotes, so we’re aiming for completion in time for winter 2023/24 But we Lalanders are a hardy bunch - and we have the added joy of knowing that this winter should be our last cold one! Also, as the new rooms are completed (Marquis’s salon and grand salon), the final heating pipes and radiators are being installed.

What the hell are they on at that place ? How can they put pipes and radiators if they don't know what / which heating they are having or what is being quoted for. I dispare, but don't care.

 

[CountessPompidoo]

Congrats @Le Baiseur for thread title and thanks @ComtesseRose for the new thread once again.

The new CD is sooooo boring. I love gardens, I love Sissinghurst, I dont love SJ talking about them. It’sgetting boring.
Funniest thing in the vlog was seeing Snorts hiding from the rain under an archway and letting Sir Galahad, Steff's 'Knight in Shining Armour’, Davy, go to her rescue with an umbrella. Actions Snorts, speak louder than words !!!!
Sums him up brilliantly really.
A Gentleman he aint
Oh and take your hands out of your pockets why don’t yer

 

[billybudd]

As always lovely lurkers, newbies, oldies, returnees and flying monkeys, consult the wiki, as it is better to do your research, than to be Stephanie Jarvis who, with an English degree from Oxford University, mistook Vita Sackville-West's husband for Harold Bloom and not Harold Nicolson - and to think it'll be on Blue Ivy's internet forever.

She first called Sackville-West, one of the 20th century's most notorious women, Vera instead of Vita, and then, her husband, one of the 20th century's most famous husbands, Bloom, not Nicolson.
If she is indeed auditioning for a channel 4 travel show presenter's job, I would say she has failed, big time. No producer would let her near a camera when such elementary forms of fact-checking are lacking. You need to get the names of the principles right, Stephanie. It's important. Otherwise people won't believe a single other word coming out of your mouth.
If they ever did to start with.

Maybe I respectfully record my objection to filthy p***y headlines? Thank you.

The Chateau Diaries #149 Jason Dubey said: "Complete Isolation And Desolation Of This Place"

Gardens, very a la Anglaise. https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/sissinghurst-castle/features/the-garden-at-sissinghurst-castle Vita and Harold had a long and deep partnership/open marriage. It's one of the 20th century's most interesting marriages. Their son Nigel wrote a goggling portrait back...

tattle.life

Their life was so not Lalande.
Harold had a full time job as a diplomat and courtier, and Vita worked her tail off as a best-selling author.
Plus Vita was a bona fide aristocrat. Who had to buy her own castle because she didn't inherit Knole. As Jarvis is not.
Vita also hung out with real artists, as Jarvis does not. Virginia Woolf based her enchanting novel Orlando on Vita's autobiography, as if she'd lived 600 years and changed sexes during that time. Sublimely clever, and dedicated to Vita by name, stunningly bold in 1928 when homosexuals went to prison. Tilda Swinton starred in the movie, which was also enchanting.

 

[Trengilly]

View attachment 1313804
Reposting Susan Mace comment... we now have a reply.
Susan Mace
3 hours ago
You said in a previous reply that your big projects this year were the Grand Salon and the garden but what about your heating? The last we saw were water leaks all over the Chateau and you and Amaury working out the sizes of new radiators. You said then that this was the year of the heating.

REPLY

The Chateau Diaries
45 minutes ago
We’re still collecting heating quotes, so we’re aiming for completion in time for winter 2023/24 But we Lalanders are a hardy bunch - and we have the added joy of knowing that this winter should be our last cold one! Also, as the new rooms are completed (Marquis’s salon and grand salon), the final heating pipes and radiators are being installed.

WTF?! The legendary poll of the “façade or the heating” earlier this year was yet more smoke and mirrors. No heating for another year! Where is the money going?!

Over the pandemic I inherited money to invest in property. I’ve firsthand knowledge of refitting old Victorian houses with heating and electricity all completed in under one week of intensive hard work (obviously there is a size disparity between a 4 bedroom terraced house in London to a chateau in the middle of nowhere). She could get the chateau done in a 5 weeks right after the BnB season is completed - I’m not buying the quotes bullshit. It doesn’t take long to provide quotes because all companies need the business to pay their bills. She’s stalling because the money is going elsewhere (an antique Indian stone gazebo?).

Why won’t people donating wake up to the tricks being played by this money launderer?!

 

[Linus]

Regarding #botanygate:
Those are palm trees not tree ferns. You can appreciate the palmated fronds.

(Field botanist in a previous life, couldn't resist )

 

[Kickintheass]

Congrats @Le Baiseur for thread title and thanks @ComtesseRose for the new thread once again.

The new CD is sooooo boring. I love gardens, I love Sissinghurst, I dont love SJ talking about them. It’sgetting boring.
Funniest thing in the vlog was seeing Snorts hiding from the rain under an archway and letting Sir Galahad, Steff's 'Knight in Shining Armour’, Davy, go to her rescue with an umbrella. Actions Snorts, speak louder than words !!!!
Sums him up brilliantly really.
A Gentleman he aint
Oh and take your hands out of your pockets why don’t yer

That's the umbrella she had to buy from the gift shop when it started to rain when she went to the loo. Didn't learn when she got caught by rain again.

 

[Trengilly]

Well that Ms. Lazenby has a mouth on her....
Susan Mace
4 hours ago
You said in a previous reply that your big projects this year were the Grand Salon and the garden but what about your heating? The last we saw were water leaks all over the Chateau and you and Amaury working out the sizes of new radiators. You said then that this was the year of the heating.

The Chateau Diaries
1 hour ago
We’re still collecting heating quotes, so we’re aiming for completion in time for winter 2023/24 But we Lalanders are a hardy bunch - and we have the added joy of knowing that this winter should be our last cold one! Also, as the new rooms are completed (Marquis’s salon and grand salon), the final heating pipes and radiators are being installed.

Nicola Lazenby
5 minutes ago
@The Chateau Diaries On Patreon, you asked us if we thought heating or the façade ought to come first for this year. I voted with the majority for the heating to be replaced. From this response, you're now changing the time frame to next year; it doesn't seem right to me for us patrons not to be notified. I'm also keen to see the accounts of 2020 and 2021 be published asap from the accountants please. Transparency is important to charity.