The Chateau Diaries #144 For $300/m my Patreons get an original copy of my fanny on a photocopier, signed

graciemckitten · May 13, 2022

T Rex said:
It seemed he just gave up eventually, "Ewww! Dirt! My nails!" and ran off to get glasses of wine. Amaury looked exhausted, and frustrated with the lot. I thought Amaury was supposed to be working on the grand salon paneling, but had to set up a watering system for Fanny's Folly, as she is an idiot, and probably did not realize the flowers needed water.

And Fanny was too lazy or clueless to even turn them on to water the plants. Amaury had to stop working, go outside to turn on the sprinklers while the 3 stooges were drinking wine in the new garden area. Amaury is stuffing all his anger and feelings about the way they take advantage of him. One day he may just lose his temper on camera. Fanny will be filming and suddenly the video goes dark, you hear the sound of an iPhone being crushed or thrown into the creek. The last thing you would hear would be Fanny maniacally laughing “ oh cuz!”

billybudd · May 13, 2022

Imperious Me said:
So what I hear you saying is, don't send Fannies tree feller over?

Does Phillis EVER get his hands dirty? Or use his initiative? He stands around waiting for Fannie all day, where did he disappear to when the planting was done? I get the impression he's not comfortable when Scotty's around, they never spoke to eachother at all, and he kept looking at Fannie for cues... odd fellow.

Snorts skedaddled to make drinks. Must keep Fanny loaded at all times.

graciemckitten said:
And Fanny was too lazy or clueless to even turn them on to water the plants. Amaury had to stop working, go outside to turn on the sprinklers while the 3 stooges were drinking wine in the new garden area. Amaury is stuffing all his anger and feelings about the way they take advantage of him. One day he may just lose his temper on camera. Fanny will be filming and suddenly the video goes dark, you hear the sound of an iPhone being crushed or thrown into the creek. The last thing you would hear would be Fanny maniacally laughing “ oh cuz!”

My understanding is that you just can't turn the sprinkler on -- you have to fill a giant tank with water and drive it in, connect the system to it, and then turn on the sprinkler.

Imperious Me · May 13, 2022

HalcyonOrganic said:
I read: Snorts sucks the dogs dry

Well thank christ Diesel is gone already....

Iolair · May 13, 2022

MRShavershamsdress said:
You’re being unkind to douchebags everywhere. They at least have a use. PhiPhi does not!

Philip is the village idiot of douchebags.

T Rex · May 13, 2022

graciemckitten said:
And Fanny was too lazy or clueless to even turn them on to water the plants. Amaury had to stop working, go outside to turn on the sprinklers while the 3 stooges were drinking wine in the new garden area. Amaury is stuffing all his anger and feelings about the way they take advantage of him. One day he may just lose his temper on camera. Fanny will be filming and suddenly the video goes dark, you hear the sound of an iPhone being crushed or thrown into the creek. The last thing you would hear would be Fanny maniacally laughing “ oh cuz!”

Run, Amaury- RUN! That poor bloke looks like he is ready to lose his shite at any second now. I'm sure Herr Nuti is not helping matters either in her role as "Psycho Clingy Girlfriend"!

Iolair said:
Philip is the village idiot of douchebags.

I tried to return him to his village, but they do not want their idiot- aka: "Summer's Eve"- back.

lalablahblah · May 13, 2022

Dear Cameltoe,

Farting around in a hole with a tiny trowel makes you look worse in the work department then you already did...

Ginginger · May 13, 2022

Okay, so where does SSB go “every morning”, wait- that’s every morning. With her tea. Every. Morning. Just shout it out from your balcony, so that all the land can know. Every. Morning.
Now- you can stop mentioning it every time you stick your pink phone in your face or someone else’s!
Congrats on getting out of bed in the morning. We’re so proud!!
That being said, it is nice to see the outside of La Lande being transformed finally. Unless those who actually paid for this ‘storm’ the HMN, I can’t see how it’ll survive long term. Hopefully the next owners keep going (using their own money).

T Rex · May 13, 2022

Ginginger said:
Okay, so where does SSB go “every morning”, wait- that’s every morning. With her tea. Every. Morning. Just shout it out from your balcony, so that all the land can know. Every. Morning.
Now- you can stop mentioning it every time you stick your pink phone in your face or someone else’s!
Congrats on getting out of bed in the morning. We’re so proud!!
That being said, it is nice to see the outside of La Lande being transformed finally. Unless those who actually paid for this ‘storm’ the HMN, I can’t see how it’ll survive long term. Hopefully the next owners keep going (using their own money).

With her tea some minion brings her. With a pain chocolat or croissant offering as well, but she could give 2 forks whether her guests are served anything for brekkie- it's more or less of a "For $50 extra quid, you may get some cereal or something, or can make it yourself with whatever you find- just make sure there is enough for everyone. But we need to commandeer your car this morning." I suspect Fanny is especially chuffed with herself for waking up at 11:55 AM now vice her usual 2:00PM wake-up. Sacrifices.

MagpieSassyPants · May 13, 2022

Lady Rosalie said:
WTH .... you Tartlets are losing me!! Shiver, I am going to have nightmares.

I have always thought different tastes make the world go round. I have no issues with him not being for you, and apologies for any nightmares, but as I’m sure you know, yucking someone else’s yum isn’t the thing. i have zero issues with multiple tats and piercings for men or women, and have generally known people that look “scary” are some of the kindest humans among us. I am not berating you in any way, promise! Just sharing my experience. And I respect your opinion, as it is yours.

UvulaDonor · May 13, 2022

MagpieSassyPants said:
Not ashamed to admit I have the same thoughts. I think he would be an attentive, thoughtful, caring lover.

Or on the other side of the spectrum entirely.

Still, he is my only nomination for bed partner for me from HMN.

Especially when we are presented with Snorts and the Tartan bloke - it's a no brainer................ I guess there's always Cuz, but sheesh, it would end up being a three way with Nasty clinging to him 24/7.

lalablahblah said:
Just like to point out the fact that France is a country with a vast history... USA and Canada are colonized countries where people came in and completely disrespected the current laws, cultures and languages... As a Native American reading a colonizer complain about people not assimilating is the height of hypocrisy... However Skanster does need to be more respectful of the ancient culture she immigrated to...

To be fair, it happened to Europe as well, just a lot longer ago - I'm pretty sure the Romans showed no respect for the laws, culture and languages of the countries they invaded either.

Imperious Me · May 13, 2022

graciemckitten said:
I wonder how often phi phi borrows them?

I bet when Phillis goes missing she finds him in the attic fingering all her dresses

Lady Avonlea · May 13, 2022

ComtesseRose said:
Brava on the new thread. You all get a standing ovation from me.

Eurovision: Australia or Norway. I'm a Sheldon stan and giving wolves bananas is just vibes.

Smoke and Mirrors at the Fun House called Lalande.

If Fanny’s an opera singer than I’m the Pope. That was simply awful.

T Rex · May 13, 2022

UvulaDonor said:
Especially when we are presented with Snorts and the Tartan bloke - it's a no brainer................ I guess there's always Cuz, but sheesh, it would end up being a three way with Nasty clinging to him 24/7.

There aren't many options at the Shitoo- you've got Baby Jesus Jeans, Scotman, Percy, Potty (in a relationship), Headless Nick (married to the awesome Marie, not to be confused with Roadside Flower Killer), Dan (who thinks he IS Casey Niestat), Davy (who, bless his heart, resembles if one crossed Prince Charles with a preying mantis) and the honorable mentions of the likes of Sillymar, the Ians (who are both married- not to one another- that would be odd AF), Mason the Stargazer (who is a ho), Matt (he's divorced and moved back to the UK), Shrek (married as well), Tomaz (ew), the elusive chapel restorer (who's like 100 years old) and Teabag. I digress- save the goat cheese man, who we have not seen in a million vlogs (sadness, as he was pretty hot- I think it was either @CountessPompidoo or @ScarlettoShara that ran off with him...) Amaury is not all that, but compared to the rest of the lot, I can see his appeal, but Herr Nuti will put a stop to that, as she immediately peed on him and claimed him as her own. So, I can't hate on anyone that finds the Tree Man attractive- compared the the rest of the Shitoo lot, he's top billing. Plus, he actually does manual labour, is kind to animals, and gives two forks about Fanny's BS- he is there to do a job, and is REALLY knowledgeable about trees. You go Nick-the-Tree-Man- you're like the Dos Equis guy at a Chateau in France!

Marquis de Potpourri · May 13, 2022

OK now, Caroline Bingley!

Imperious Me · May 13, 2022

UvulaDonor said:
Especially when we are presented with Snorts and the Tartan bloke - it's a no brainer................ I guess there's always Cuz, but sheesh, it would end up being a three way with Nasty clinging to him 24/7.

To be fair, it happened to Europe as well, just a lot longer ago - I'm pretty sure the Romans showed no respect for the laws, culture and languages of the countries they invaded either.

Where's our apology?

MagpieSassyPants said:
Not ashamed to admit I have the same thoughts. I think he would be an attentive, thoughtful, caring lover.

Or on the other side of the spectrum entirely.

Still, he is my only nomination for bed partner for me from HMN.

Okay Maggie, you're nominated to take one for the team... report back here, was he attentive, thoughtful and caring in the sack? Or did he rip through your ladygarden, turf your insides out then roll a ciggy while you burned?

UvulaDonor · May 13, 2022

Imperious Me said:
Where's our apology?

The wine!

Patriciarella · May 13, 2022

SJ do you want to sing a song with me? I have to keep my voice ready for when I get an agent. This gay prison play is getting more exposer than the channel 4 kaboom boyfriend ploy. Oh, Grant wants to lay in your bed and watch a movie just like old times. Ok, I’ll ask bubblefriend.

Bubblefriend do you want to sing a song with me? No my agent hadn’t called me back. Oh, your with your new friend, Sabina. She is getting your dog off the table. Ok, I will just ask my new friend.

Spud no one ever sat with me at lunch before. Usually at lunch kids just threw banana peels at me. Would you like to sing a song with me? I mean you owe me for saving your life. Oh, yes of coarse you should go have sex with the chicken who is sitting on a rock.

T Rex · May 13, 2022

Marquis de Potpourri said:
OK now, Caroline Bingley!
View attachment 1262894

View attachment 1262899

Bless Kirstie's heart- she supervised Fanny for a few good minutes as Fanny pulled weeds to ensure Fanny was not pulling the plants out as well. Edited out was the, "Oh no, baybay, that is a plant and not a weed. Good girl!" I actually like Kirstie, and it is really sad that Fanny's employees need to parent her.

Imperious Me · May 13, 2022

T Rex said:
There aren't many options at the Shitoo- you've got Baby Jesus Jeans, Scotman, Percy, Potty (in a relationship), Headless Nick (married to the awesome Marie, not to be confused with Roadside Flower Killer), Dan (who thinks he IS Casey Niestat), Davy (who, bless his heart, resembles if one crossed Prince Charles with a preying mantis) and the honorable mentions of the likes of Sillymar, the Ians (who are both married- not to one another- that would be odd AF), Mason the Stargazer (who is a ho), Matt (he's divorced and moved back to the UK), Shrek (married as well), Tomaz (ew), the elusive chapel restorer (who's like 100 years old) and Teabag. I digress- save the goat cheese man, who we have not seen in a million vlogs (sadness, as he was pretty hot- I think it was either @CountessPompidoo or @ScarlettoShara that ran off with him...) Amaury is not all that, but compared to the rest of the lot, I can see his appeal, but Herr Nuti will put a stop to that, as she immediately peed on him and claimed him as her own. So, I can't hate on anyone that finds the Tree Man attractive- compared the the rest of the Shitoo lot, he's top billing. Plus, he actually does manual labour, is kind to animals, and gives two forks about Fanny's BS- he is there to do a job, and is REALLY knowledgeable about trees. You go Nick-the-Tree-Man- you're like the Dos Equis guy at a Chateau in France!

If I was forced to pick one... I'd have the musician who made the bread cheesy egg thing in the bread oven... He was tall, funny, intelligent, not afraid of work... he was a fun, interesting guy...

Pekey · May 13, 2022

Jules100 said:
Indiana Jones.

Well Jules...... they live at the "Temple of Doom "!

The Chateau Diaries #144 For $300/m my Patreons get an original copy of my fanny on a photocopier, signed

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