Selmar comes across as rather uneducated, lacking in self-awareness or social skills, and very stubborn. The comments section of his flogs are peppered with requests for him to speak up, always wear a microphone, and balance the speech and music elements, yet he refuses to do so. Tatty, I can't quite head my head round yet, and I don't think I see her as the control freak in the relationship. When Selmar did his interview with SJ he was happy at the heap and thought it was a promising venue for his odd job skills and tea-dance classes. Things turned sour for him when Isabelle left and Natty returned, and he now tells us he was feeling miserable and lonely by the end of 2020. He and Tatty started online chatting in the spring of 2021 and, whatever other attractions, Selmar soon envisaged opportunities for the two of them to embark on adventures and projects together. Tatty seems to be at a crossroads in her life, with no clear direction, and no obvious settled social life in Suffolk, despite having had a house there for years. With her romantic nature, she too saw a way forward with Selmar, but I don't think it took any manipulation on her part to winkle him out of Lalande. She turned up at the chateau with trunks full of costumes either because she believed there would be fun fancy dress parties, or as a cynical marketing ploy for her and Selmar's festival fantasies. The latter were clearly delusional, and their joint money begging outrageous, but it's not clear who is pulling the strings.