The Chateau Diaries #106 Even as a grifter she is quite stupid

[Fennelbug]

Jo Brand could play Tante Chantal.

Or Yorkshire Jill? Is that her name?

 

[Belladonna1969]

Question #45,664
Off topic.
I have lived in 3 older American homes ( old by American standard so, yeah....not that old)
But I have had to buy new exterior doors and usually customs due to odd sizes.
I try to buy fiberglass, high efficient in regard to heat and cold temps. Blah blah blah . and they are expensive.
But I don't even earn $40,000 a year and SJ pulls way more than that in a month.
So.
Finally.
The question is....how do those crappy, thin, wood doors that Dan is fixing at the dump ever keep out any cold in the first place?????
Or the rotting, wood single pane windows?

They fit snug and don’t allow droughts in . Also a draught excluder can be used at the base . As for the windows heavy curtains, blinds AND shutters

 

[Fennelbug]

Or Yorkshire Jill? Is that her name?

Oh wait! Josie! Sorry.

 

[ggyahoo]

An excellent thread possibility there @MrsNeelie

'The chatelaine and her current leg wrapping contraption'

 

[Rory]

I've seen the documentary but need to watch the film. Therre is a youtube video called Grey Gardens before and after and after, showing what it looked like after the new owners finished renovating it.

There was a big auction when the original renovators sold it. They were selling contents some of which came from Big and Little Eddie - renovated bed heads, chairs and the like. I read that when they sold the new owners was renovating again. Is the documentary on 1st or 2nd renovation?

 

[Marty McFly 9]

To be honest, the whole anonymity thing bugs me the most. To protect my identity is the only way to keep reporting accurately on her misleading conspiracies to gain even more wealth, but it comes at a cost, not so much for me but for the ones who get blamed for my indiscretions.

Does she still think she knows who you are?

 

[CountessPompidoo]

Likely just from his drama program and no big deal, but the straight guy usually doesn’t volunteer to wear or get cast in the dress strutting his stuff for a character.

Far from it, most would have to be dragged screaming out of a locked room to do it

 

[Marty McFly 9]

Those houses are too far apart to visit regularly anyway, so if she tries to pull it off like this, we will know.

Ah, interesting! How far apart are they?
Mummy & Percy mostly live at Percy's, right?

 

[thoughtcloud]

I think we should all reach out to Joanna Lumley who played a fabulous lead character in AB FAB (Absolutely Fabulous). We need to beg her, bended knee to come forth and play Stephanie. What a perfect sitcom awaits us all. Joanna as Stephanie could recreate the opening where Stephanie swings open the gates, but one side falls off the hinges as she does so. Joanna could trot around in her 100 Stars robes, holding a cocktail stumbling into the kitchen. The scenes would be endless. The young transitioning lover comes in and snuggles her neck, points and says “oh, that copper needs a polish”. Seriously Tattlers - we have all the characters in place, just need to cast this thing, pitch it to someone and off we go - prime time hit on our hands. If you have not ever seen an episode of Absolutely Fabulous, please do look/see - you will positively be able to visualize Joanna Lumley as Stephanie - and you’ll get a good laugh, trust me!

Somebody please action this!!

 

[KiKiGee]

When was that tango pic taken? Before Squirrelbaby arrived? If so, Sillymar and SJ were definitely doing the vertical tango.

BJJ was there, June 24, 2021, notice the full moon. It aired June 29th. @27:40 Selmar and SJ tango for the paying guest.

 

[CountessPompidoo]

Miss Anna and Master Peter are posting pics on FB today and also a new vlog on YT about new doors and 'bargains'.
These two are rapidly in line to become No 2 hoarders behind SJ at No 1. They have just downsized from a Chateax into a much, much smaller house, have barely unpacked everything, and yet off they go to a Brecante to buy more. I dont get it.

 

[Patriciarella]

David Lander (passed) could have been Snorty. Same weird hair strand, under eye bags and repulsive lips. Already have creep and annoying factor but David was acting, Phiphi is real life.

 

[Pyke]

Ricky Tommlinson as Matt the digger
Nicole Scherzinger as Nutti
Molly Sugden as Aunt Chantall

 

[Belladonna1969]

cruel. You've just upset my lunch!! That really is gross!!!


a brilliant idea. who would play snorts to you think? and sillymar?

for snorts I would suggest Michael Gove (I know he's not an actor, but truly weird and ugly!). For you non UK people he's a politician.

No Benedict Cucumberpatch

 

[Espe]

Does she realise that she looks like a blow up doll?

 

[Tartuffe]

Talking of Panetone on a blanket. I think the whole lot of them sat on the lawn/blanket thinking to themselves, 'what the duck, she has completely lost the plot, sod this I'm freezing - but smile otherwise she might throw a hissy fit". Amoury wasn't cuddling up the Nutty, he was trying to shield himself from the biting cold of a winters day sat out having one of her vagesty's garden parties in the middle of January. Bloody lunatic. Or maybe she pays them to pose for her nonsense. Why else would they do it?

I am more surprised that she didn't order them to carry out her new garden furniture to the courtyard and then limit who could actually join her.

 

[Jeeves]

Joanna Lumley as Stephanie
Tracy Ullman as Mummie
Casting Open - Phillip
Glen Close - Marie
Selma Hayek - Nuttie
Casting Open - Cuz Anna Marie (or Amoire or however his name is spelled)
Casting Open - Dan The Gardener
Visiting Undercover Reporter - Emma Thompson
2 Volunteers Who Cook - Helen Miren (& friend - friend is open to cast)
We also need second tier support cast recommendations for -
Ian
Cat (or is it Kat - and who knows if she’ll be fool enough to ever return to the SHITTO)
Nic
Potty
Percy

So we’ve got an aging woman in a chateau, young lover and rotating support cast. The season opens, the B & B aspect is now re-opened for Spring/Summer - and in comes a guest who is actually a reporter. We could make that person Emma Thompson. She appears friendly, charmed, taken in - and she is there, booking weeks at a time, then off - using LaLande as her home base. Pretty much, she stays a couple weeks - goes away, updates her notes, returns for another couple weeks etc. In the process she secretly records the “reality” of the SHITTO, recognizing the depth of begging, corruption, chaos. Along come two women, who Nutti has vetted and approved for a 2 month stay as volunteers. They both will be cooking. We can cast one of them as Helen Miren. Along the way, they befriend Emma Thompson, noticing that during their stay as cooks - Emma keeps “coming back”. One of the cooks detects, intuits that Emma asked questions, hangs in the kitchen - and Emma finally comes clean what she’s really doing at the SHITTO. The 2 cook volunteers and Emma work together. As Emma starts publishing her expose, a series of reports under a pseudonym no one in the SHITTO can figure out who the hell is blowing the whistle on them. The government folks start showing up, the infighting starts, the accountant, even the people in the town get involved (mostly from a gossip perspective - but all have good intel, suspicions). Nic and Potts arrive, one with a bag on his head the other so distracted with the pending gloom he can’t even focus on bread making.

Well, it’s fun to think about! Gives us something to do before the tit hits the fan in South Africa. Onward Tattlers.

The late Emma Chambers (Alice in the Vicar of Dibley) would have been perfect for FRK.
The late Kenny Everett as Cupid Stunt would make a great Phiphi
Harry Enfield's character, Tim Nice-but-Dim for Potty
Robbie Coltrane as Hagrid for Sillyman

 

[Espe]

you will positively be able to visualize Joanna Lumley as Stephanie

She would need some facial adjustments, particularly to her eyes, nose and skin, without that, she'd be far too pretty to play Steph! Also, she's over 70 but looks 20 years younger than Steph! I'm not being horrible; that's all true!

 

[Jeeves]

Or Yorkshire Jill? Is that her name?

Or Miriam Margolyes and Stephen Fry as Uncle Stephen.

Boris would be a perfect Jason Superfan. He loves a good party!

 

[ComtesseRose]

Is Teabag doing research, in hopes he will travel to Egypt with SJ and Woodpecker???

The quote is FOR I not FOR IS...

Saw that one, was about to post it with the caption of me being surprised he'd read anything other (or with a higher LIX number) than Beatrix Potter.

Re: Nightmares
I've had 3 seperate dreams about château-verse lately...
- Marie Wiik. Horror. Think The Shining. I might have killed her to escape her - I think I mowed her down with a car, because she was constantly running to attack me.
- La Lande. Comedy. I don't remember anything from that night other than waking myself wheezing from laughter.
- Manor & Maker. Action. That was last night, for some reason I'm there with them at a space center, when a space rocket flies into the balcony of a tall building and blows up.
It then drops a bomb in front of the bus I was hiding in. Thinking I will not survive this the bomb goes off, and the front of the bus is shattered (I survived though).