The advice thread for random problems

[Ticketyboots]

Hi all

I have to go into hospital tomorrow for a DEXA scan.

Is anyone familiar with it or has any experience and advice?

I had a DEXA scan in January to find out my bone density as I am on hormone suppressing drugs following breast cancer.

I expected it to be a full body super duper scan like an MRI but it was just like an x-rayed on my legs only. A nurse did it as I lay on a trolley bed in my undies. It was over in a few minutes and I left. This is NHS in Kent, UK.

Hope that helps.

 

[Purrrrrrr]

They’ll need to know a bit about your health conditions because it can impact on what you’re trying to do - for example if they know you have something that causes shortness of breath or fatigue they’d likely want to offer adaptations that help minimise this like perching stools so you’re not standing the whole time. They will be assessing to see what your needs are and what they can provide that helps with those needs. After that they’ll look and see if the adaptations they think you need will physically fit and be safe (for example a bath lift won’t fit in all baths but can be really useful for people who want to have a soak and can’t lower themselves in or out of a bath safely).

Thank you, Mostly the same as the OT then really

 

[Shimmering]

I have a strange problem that I don't know how to solve.

A friend of mine lives abroad and comes back to our hometown (where I live) a few times a year. She asks to meet up and I'm happy to but she has this tendency to always include another friend of hers in the invite, and I don't have any interest in spending time with that person.

If I get a heads up that the other friend is coming, I make an excuse, but yesterday we were going for coffee and when I picked her up she said "friend is coming too, she will meet us there" and my heart sank.

My time is really precious to me and I'm at that stage of life (40) where I really can't be bothered spending time with people I don't like. I thought of making an excuse and leaving but decided to go ahead with the coffee plan.

It was fine but just reconfirmed my previous impressions of this person.

Any tips for dealing with this? I don't think I can say to my friend as she would be extremely hurt. I can be really blunt and hurtful to friends and I really don't want to be in this case.

Do I just suck it up?

 

[RuEvenReal]

Has anyone any advice for taking a child on holiday with a different surname to you? We go every year and it hasn’t been a problem I just get all our birth certificates out etc if they ask which they only have once but that’s usually when coming back form Spain this time we’re coming back from Turkey and Iv got in my head the uk border control will be stricter and maybe even the Turkey one will be too.. I mean it’s very obvious he’s British his pale white hair blue eyes (the total opposite of me) we go in 3 weeks and we have no contact with his dad and haven’t since he was born.. am I just over thinking it? Will 2 copies of birth certificates and notice of birth be enough proof?

We are regular visitors to Turkey, going you won't get asked anything at all. The only tine I've ever been questioned was arriving back in the UK. Once they asked if Dad knew i had taken her on holiday i said yes he's stood there and second time a few weeks ago they asked ny daughter directly who i was, to which she replied mummy unless you are genuinely kidnapping your own child there's nothing to worry about haha

 

[Blondeangel2515]

So I was speaking to a guy for five years long story short 2 years of that five years he was dating/ had a girlfriend and was still sexting me I found the girlfriend and told her everything.
He blocked me on everything and they stayed together. Last September he unblocked me 5 months after I snitched on him. I waited a couple of days thought this was weird and then messaged him so he knew I noticed what he done he instantly blocked me after.
Yesterday he unblocked me again but hasn’t messaged me. My friends done some fbi work and noticed they’re still together but she’s moving in with him this month (they’re long distance)
So I’m quite confused why’s he unblocked me again. Like I don’t want to block him because then he’ll know that I noticed he’s unblocked me but I can’t see it being the girlfriend that’s done it because I know his routine (been the same for years)

 

[littlepup]

I need shopping advice! I was given an Amazon Aus voucher for $100(AU) and I’m feeling a bit paralysed with how to spend it. My normal go-to would be to get something practical for the house or family, but I want to treat myself. How would you spend the money? What would you buy? I need ideas! Thanks

I would get some nice cosmetics/personal care items myself but if you feel guilty you could get something practical but that makes your own life easier so it’s a bit of both, a treat and a household item.

 

[Snowjoke]

Just a quick one.
My daughter hurt her wrist yesterday playing netball. It’s not broken. She can still move it. However, she’s clearly done some damage as she can’t use it much. She can’t hold anything in that hand and it you touch it. Even lightly she winces in pain. I don’t want to waste hospital staff’s time especially as my local hospital is struggling at the moment. But I feel like she should be seen, but also as it’s not broken I’m unsure what they will be able to do?
None of my children have ever had an injury like this and I’m not too sure if I’m being over cautious

Rest, ibuprofen gel and pain killers.

 

[Blondeangel2515]

Personally. I would block him. More than likely he’s wanting a reaction from you. Wants an ego boost. Wants whatever. He’ll be hoping your still in the same mental space to entertain him again. I had a similar thing with a guy I was seeing. Only for a year. We parted ways. He got a girlfriend. I never knew that and phoned me. We chatted and then his girlfriend messaged me. A day or so later. I explained everything to her. Found he blocked me so I couldn’t even give him the “how dare you, you had a girlfriend” message. Then when they split up. He unblocked me and messaged “Hello stranger”. I blocked him straight away. It’s never going to be worth the headache of what may come

I was thinking of blocking him but I don’t want to give him the satisfaction that I seen he’s unblocked me and it’s got too me.
I’m thinking of leaving it do then he thinks i haven’t noticed or bothered. It’s just strange he does this possibly the day before his girlfriend moves in with him and she knows he use to sext me until I told her

 

[BettyCrockerr]

This is a bit of a sticky subject but maybe somebody here has been through similar. I’m with my partner almost two years and we are very happy together. He had a small bit of weight on when I met him similar to most people but in the last 3-6 months he has put on a lot more weight I’d guess maybe 2 stone. We were away in April and he said he wanted to eat healthier and lose some weight. I cook healthy dinners for us and the house is stocked with fruit/salad and nutritious food. He goes home once a week for a night or two and I think this is where the damage is happening as there will be takeaways and a night or two out drinking. If he calls to his aunt next door there is cake and sweet things on offer.
His own mother commented to him today that he had put on a few inches so it’s not just me that has noticed as I’m sure he has himself. He is a very intelligent guy but when I counted my calories back in April and May as I wanted to lose 1/2 stone for our holidays, unless meals were laid out for him and prepared he didn’t have much interest in eating healthy but yet said he wanted to lose weight.
Any ideas on what I could do to help support him? I don’t want it to become a bigger problem for him and I’d like for him to take better care of himself.

Does he do any exercise? one or two takeaways a week and a few drinks isn’t going to be the root cause of him putting on 2 stone in 6 months. Have you actually spoken to him about this and asked if everything else is ok? That’s a lot of weight to put on in a short space of time. Does he spend lots of time outside of the house - at work?

if you are concerned for him because of his health then try to discuss it but he’s an adult and if he’s putting on weight then there’s not a lot you can do other than that.

 

[Snippysnips]

Just looking for some advice as I’m not sure what to do or how to go about this situation. My friends in RL are split pretty 50/50 so I’m taking it to the Internet

So last night one of our family cats died. I have three children (6 - just turned 6 today, 8&10) as you can imagine we are all devastated.

The vets have said we can have her cremated and she stay with them. Or we can pay a little bit extra and bring her ashes home. I can’t work out how to handle this situation, weather it’s better to give the cat some form of send off. Allow the children to say their goodbyes etc. Or let the vets deal with the cat and leave the kids to heal in their own space and time. Today they seem much more chipper however, I think that may be because it’s my youngest birthday and We are out celebrating. I don’t want to keep bringing it up and hurting them all over again but also don’t want them to feel robbed off saying goodbye.

We brought my dogs ashes home an put them in a large pot with a rose on top, but everyone's different with how they deal with it

Personally I'd let the kids have a little ceremony thing, it will help them understand the process of death an you can let them know that you are there for them to talk to an it's OK to be sad about it, it might help in future when a loved one dies, I was 15 before I lost a loved one an it was my first time experiencing a funeral an I just could not cope with the whole process of death having never experienced anything like it before, obviously a pet death is nothing like a family member but I feel like if I had done somthing with previous pets I'd have had maybe dealt a bit better with a loved one an the whole process of death in general

Sending thoughts, never easy to lose a pet

 

[GiftedNotFree]

This isn’t a problem, more of a question. I’d like to hire someone to build me a new front door step - remove the old stones and put something new in. But who does this?

A general builder? A stonemason? A bricklayer!?

 

[aimz_yeah]

I have something wrong with my arm and have done for a while now. ( yes GP is trying to find out what is wrong) thought I would ask here in case anyone else has had or has the same thing. so we could find some short cuts to a diagnosis

It feels like someone has just punched my arm and gave me a dead arm and all the problems that come with that dead arm. but instead of going away the pain and problems stay.

I mean it is really hard to say without seeing you and shouldn't really give out diagnosis on the internet but the one thing that springs to mind is Thoracic outlet syndrome (as something to rule out, not as what you definitely have). But again, the gp should be looking into it and referring on to physio/orthopaedics etc. I hope they figure it out soon!

 

[Snippysnips]

It doesn’t mean that if you have a MH condition or disability that you get carte Blanche and go straight to the interview stage though.

Well really they shouldn't do that then, it was they that stated they would

If a job states there will be a GUARANTEED interview then sorry but am going expect one, it's not as if am in a city where there's 2000 people applying, am in a small run down town that I doupt they would have had over 30 apply

 

[monga]

Do you get charged for foreign transactions in ROI with a British card? I was last in Dublin 2020 but can't remember for the life of me lol. Just weighing up how many euros to buy. Also how are they on cash there, do they still accept most places? (I know they went a bit Covid mad)

I don't think they charge because it's the common travel area we usually just draw out from the cashpoints ( depending on what they're offering for sterling )

 

[justheretoread99]

for uni

Are you tutors or course leaders aware of your anxieties?

When I was at uni we had a “Student Support Services” where if we were struggling with anything or had any disabilities, mental health conditions etc, appropriate arrangements were put in place.

E.g. if a student with anxiety had to do a presentation, they could do it infront of a smaller group, and had a few minutes extra onto their time limit.

If you haven’t already, please speak to any student support services, your personal tutor or any tutor/course instructor you feel comfortable around and make them aware of your anxieties.

I’ve done a presentation at uni infront of 300 people on my course at I was honestly bricking it. I felt like running out the back doors.

But, please know you won’t be the only one feeling like this.

Eat a few hours before and make sure you go to the toilet before it’s your turn. Sounds daft I know, but not needing to go to the toilet will be one less thing to worry about.

Take some notes with you. (If you’re allowed). Take deep breaths, speak slowly. And if you’re concerned about the volume of your voice ask if there’s a microphone you can use. Focusing on 1 spot of a wall really helps me. If I make eye contact with someone then I’m more likely to get nervous and jumble my words.

Good luck, you will feel loads better once it’s over with.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

sorry if tmi but im burping a lot, the ones that taste liek
Rotten egg I had some onions rings on Saturday which I think triggered it

Nope - you’ve more than likely got the h - pylori infection. Rotten egg smelly burps are a common symptom, as are other general indigestion type symptoms.

have you ever had a stomach ulcer?? Do you have any omeprazole in the house? That is very good at calming it down but it’s only on prescription.

Try to get to your Doctor tomorrow if you can, tell them your symptoms and say you’ve got the eggy burps and think it’s h-pylori. They may ask for a stool sample so if you can, gross as it may be, try to get one.

 

[If you say so...]

We probably can’t afford childcare for both of us working and my OHs earnings are far greater than mine, plus my job is already part time and can’t feasibly go to any lower hours (my NHS trust is too incompetent to do a job share, plus it’d be incredibly hard to fill). It’s something we need to think about but it would be harder for me to return to my current job because they’re so inflexible.

Oh that’s a tough one! What sort of role are you in at the moment? Are your skills transferable? If so then don’t worry and just enjoy your pregnancy and take the job you want for the time being!

 

[Pinhead Larry]

What would be the best thing to do/say in this situation? Sorry if it is long and confusing.

I hated my job, applied for 2, got 2 interviews, got offered both. Happy days. (This was about a month ago)

The one I preferred required 3 references, all with 13 questions each. This took a while to sort out. I'd only had a conditional offer, and I was told after the referencing was all done I'd get a start date. In the meantime I didn't want to reject the other job, because if anything happened I'd be back to square 1.

The other job were aware my manager was on annual leave, but they kept sending emails pushing me to accept the job offer online. She said on Friday if I don't accept by midday they're giving the job to someone else regardless. I panicked and accepted as I was waiting on a message from the job I want.

Today I have had a start date confirmed for my new job at the company I want to work for, I've handed in my notice at the current job and now I just need to tell the other one I won't be starting with them..

Does this sound okay? I wish I didn't have to accept it but it was push push push.

Good Afternoon,

I am really sorry but I need to withdraw myself from the role of XXXXXXXX with yourselves.

Something beyond my control has arisen, I am so sorry to mess you around

Thanks for the opportunity
XXXXX

 

[Josims]

hmmm tricky one. What are you doing if you don’t mind me asking?Does it have a specific time?

Going to a local national trust type place

 

[Snippysnips]

Ah ok, I was thinking it was a quiet/rural type area. Sounds dodgy - I don’t think it would hurt to inform the police as a non-emergency.

Nah its quite a big estate, used to be all farm land but there's a massive pond so houses were built alittle away from it an the reserve goes round it, when they took off running that night they went down by the pond which is a strange way to go as there's only houses on the two side of it as one side leads to the river an the other has a hill at it an they ran towards the river