The advice thread for random problems

[Snippysnips]

I need shopping advice! I was given an Amazon Aus voucher for $100(AU) and I’m feeling a bit paralysed with how to spend it. My normal go-to would be to get something practical for the house or family, but I want to treat myself. How would you spend the money? What would you buy? I need ideas! Thanks

Honestly whenever am given gift vouchers I always see that as money I would never have had in the first place so I usually treat myself with something, unless it was somthing I desperately needed an just couldn't afford it then I don't feel guilty allowing myself to have a treat

Maybe get yourself a treat an then what's left over get something pratical?

 

[If you say so...]

I was wondering if there is anyone who struggled with being assertive and being confrontational on how they were able to overcome this?

I would choose your battles carefully and when you do feel it necessary to be assertive, stick to facts and don’t let emotions get involved. Always remain open minded and make sure you listen to the person you are dealing with. It can be difficult to find the balance but it does get easier!

 

[emmer_moans]

Yes!! That is what she wanted. I thought she wanted to chat over coffee as she was having some problems.
but turns out after my long reply saying sadly I could not take her there but I can chat if she would like that. but got a awful reply back from her.

Let me fetch mine and her replies and will post now. I got it wrong but you two would have known. hahaha

My reply... ( next morning)


Hi blank
lovely to hear from you. Unfortunately I am agoraphobic and although I now go out. meeting up with a stranger in a strange place would be impossible. But I don't mind chatting here, maybe until we know each other better? ... Also do you go to stand in the park etc? My daughter goes there to chat with like minded people and they also meet up on a Tuesday evening at a local pub. its very casual and people just drop in and out as the feel... I could find out the details if you like? my daughter is coming here this morning to pick up her children, so can ask her then? But if not you can always chat with me here . Many of us are suffering right now, it's been and still is a very intense time. You are not on your own or alone. xx



Her reply to that


Hi Purrrrrrr Thanks for replying.
Firstly, I have myself a lift.
Secondly, please don’t be offended by what I am about to say but I don’t do long chats on text behind a screen. It’s avoiding the issue. I have managed mild agoraphobia for over 30 years as a result of a sexual attack from which I possibly saved myself. I used cognitive behavioural therapy to help deal with the problem which has largely worked except when it comes to being in isolated spots outside. I worked taxis into my budget for many years for dealing with the isolated areas but now the money has run out. This is the resurfaced issue in recent weeks that is my main mental health issue now. I have been very fortunate in that for all the years I did community campaigning for which I asked for nothing in return people have helped me a lot in recent weeks and been incredibly supportive. I have also reached out to new neighbours in face, not from a computer or behind a screen. I feel so very sad for you that you are going to spend your days behind a screen which without I’m sorry to have to say will achieve nothing. I’m not going to waste my days on negativity and social media. I spend hours daily doing meditation which helps me a lot. No I’m not on my own because I’m reaching out to the right people. But you are Purrrrrrr and I feel very sad for you that you are. Look after yourself X

Wow

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Looking for fashion advice… I’m wanting a winter coat that will last a life time. Was looking for a parka style, down fill, very warm and waterproof etc. Looked at Canada Goose but don’t like the big labels and felt too flashy, then looked at Holland Cooper but all made with polyester and filled with it too! Did look at Woolrich but no coats are long enough as I outdone want it to cover by bum and tops of my thighs. Anyone got any suggestions? Ideally want Parka style, down fill with fur trim collar which is detachable. Thanks

Thanks for not supporting Canada Goose, it's a very cruel brand.

I'm not sure what your budget is but if you can stretch then Moncler is the way to go. I have a Hilfiger one that I love, they are reasonable priced. My friend has a Joules one. But tbh you do need to spend a little bit of money as they will last and are more breathable than high street brands. I have a Roxy snow one that is amazing as well.

 

[Some People!]

I’ve been trying all evening to get an L shaped stud out of my nose and it will not budge… I don’t understand?! about to crack… what can a piercing place do that I can’t?

There’s no clip or fastener, I’ve watched so many YouTube videos and they all just slide out. About to scream lol

There's a slight knack, but nothing crazy. Can you reach in there and straighten it out to make it easier? Might need pliers. Is it a very new piercing? If not, you could just clip it off on the outside and pull the inside part out?

 

[PumpkinKing]

I have a shampoo related problem. I’ve been using ouai shampoo for around 5 months, in the beginning it made a huge difference to my hair but lately it just doesn’t lather and I’m having to shampoo twice. Sometimes after I’ve washed my hair has these patches where it’s like my hair is soaked in oil, even when my hair wasn’t that greasy before.
I washed with head and shoulders and had a lovely lather so maybe the problem is with my ouai shampoo
I completely soak my hair, I massage the scalp, I properly rinse which is everything google tell me I should be doing. Oh I only use a heat protection spray on my hair and wash every other day so I don’t think my hair is overly dirty.

 

[monga]

I ordered through a company called love my soulmate, yun express just ship it from china and then it goes to royal mail when it hits the uk. I emailed both companies (first email was a week ago to love my soulmate) but haven't had a response beyond an automated email. Tracking has said 'shipment information received' for the last 19 days, delivery estimate was two weeks. I paid with my debit card annoyingly but then I think the bank are usually pretty good. My issue is the fact they're saying its been dispatched and wether or not that'll affect me getting my money back and then how long do I wait before going down that route? Because obviously I don't want to do that and then have it turn up.

It shouldn’t take that long tbh I always order from eBay if it’s stuff from China that way you’re guaranteed your money back and it’s usually Speedpak so takes 3 day’s to arrive, appreciate what you ordered might not be available through eBay but it’s the safest for foreign goods. I’d ring your bank on Monday and see if you can get your card refunded if the goods arrive you can always contact the company and arrange another payment to them.

 

[JoeBloggs]

I was at the Asda, BUT this is my issue. Surely if I’ve hit a car my car would have damage on it? So I’m denying everything to my insurance.

can anyone help with how long these things take to resolve?

No true at all.

Denying it, is actively causing fraud. You think you hit someone's car and now you have to deal with the consequences. 1 years no claims is nothing really. As they have your registration, clearly someone saw you.

Insurance claims can take months to resolve. My colleague had an accident that wasn't her fault in March this year, claimed on the other persons insurance and is STILL awaiting a new bumper to come into stock.

It took my dad 3 years to resolve a claim, because the claimant denied it. My dad eventually won and all his costs.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

@WilmaHun @monga

Thank you both! I have had a message from them now to say that they have a package at the depot after they failed to deliver it. I was 100% it was a scam but I’ve never had any dealings with Evri so I wanted to double check just in case someone had sent me a package that I didn’t know about (my mum has a habit of posting random things to me )

I think Evri used to be Hermes. Probably trying to rebrand because their image is so shit

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Hope you're ok, I totally get needing to soothe your ire.

I would leave it a couple days (so not obvious) and write a scathing review under a pseudonym, but that's just me .

Best advice! Think I’ll do this. Maybe I would’ve calmed down enough to let it go

 

[bourb0nbiscuits]

I bought a camelbak rip off from Amazon last year, forgot all about it and left it hanging in my garage still with water in the bladder. It might have been squash actually Can I clean it after all this time or shall I just bin it and try and get a new bladder?? If I can clean it what’s the best thing to use? Thank you

 

[JoeBloggs]

I have a question for larger ladies like myself (UK 18)
I have been blessed with a funny shape, so nice round full tummy, basically I look permanently pregnant due to being larger, its not lower stomach its from right under my chest right down, I think apple shape is usually the term. I see some models same size and bigger but they seem to have flat tummys or a really snatched waist (think a larger Marylin) so they basically suit everything as the waist carrys them.

Ok the actual reason for post, I find I should not be wearing tigh fittings tops etc as they don't overly flatter so tend to go for oversized tshirts etc but I am CONVINCED these make me look massive!
What do you larger ladies with BIG tums tend to go for? Do you find bigger clothes add lbs? I bought one of the oversized shirts (totally in fashion) with the intention of wearing a fitted vest underneath, the shirt swamps me, should probably mention I'm 5'2 also, I ordered 3 different sizes just makes me look huge.
I need to move on from leggings Wide fit trousers, clouttes all again look ridiculous, but the same style on a teeny tiny size 6 looks amazing! The clothes just hang, about 10sizes too big but it works.

I have always been cautious of my belly and I tend to go peplum, or an underbust wrap top that flows out at the bottom. I find a v neck is very flattering as well.

I feel like I have quite a long body, and have discovered New Looks maternity range give a longer body, this is one of my current favorites - https://www.newlook.com/uk/womens/womens-clothing/tops/maternity-black-textured-wrap-peplum-top/p/816275101?gclid=Cj0KCQjw8O-VBhCpARIsACMvVLPqsAlK2c57X-kViZtenLb0ER7hk0t2DNKlVlU95jHKXnY7WnccusoaAhl1EALw_wcB

 

[monga]

Ladies… a really random/embarrassing one

does anyone else struggle with terrible feet? Any cures?? I have thick thick skinboth big toes and on the outer side of each foot under the baby toe. The skin under my feet constantly feels tight and hot, all I can bare to wear are runners. My feet are in agony/cut to bits if I wear any other type of shoe even Birkenstocks. I can’t wear Vans/Converse etc. I have been fitted and definitely wear my correct size and don’t have particularly narrow or wide feet.

I wash and moisturize my feet daily, use a thicker cream at night before bed, I’ve tried the pumice stones/buffers/salicylic acid cleanser. Tried all the socks/treatments from chemist and Amazon…

sorry for the disgusting post but they’re actually getting me down, dreading this summer and having my feet be hot and swollen all the time…

Maybe a chiropodist could help or offer advice they deal with all types of foot health x

 

[playgirlbunny]

I was wondering if there is anyone who struggled with being assertive and being confrontational on how they were able to overcome this?

 

[monga]

Yeah with it being a common travel area that's why I wondered

You should be OK unless Truss has got on Mehole's nerves

 

[Pesky Tarian]

First time poster in advice!

It’s my best friends wedding in a few months (best friend of 20+ years) and I wondered what people thought about how much I should give them as a wedding present cash wise?

I’m a bridesmaid so it’s costing me a bit more then a normal guest as I have to pay for hotel stay etc the night before and night of the wedding and there’s other bits I’ve had to pay for as well.

We’re not in the best place financially at the moment and I’ve had to miss one of her two hens as I couldn’t afford them both (which she was fine about) but I can’t afford to give them loads as a wedding present - what do people think is acceptable?

They’ve asked for cash as they have a house anyway and are going on honeymoon I just don’t know what’s ‘acceptable.’ - if it helps my best friend is a very chill person and isn’t expecting me to pay her the world as she’s been in a similar position to me money wise before, I just don’t want to go too low if you know what I mean?

Depending on where she is going on honeymoon could you gift her euros? For example £50 euros but then you've spent a little over £40?.

I was bridesmaid for my best friend of 20+ years and had a photo tile made from some pics I'd took on the day (she didn't have a photographer) so many apps do this cheaply now. I gifted money too but she told me the photos were what really made her happy.

She sounds like a good friend and I'm sure she'll be happy with what ever you choose.

 

[ellafaux]

Why don't you buy a copy of it?

I was considering it but the quality won't be as good I'll keep looking, thanks for your help guys

 

[newaccount2022]

We go walking for around an hour four or five times a week. He works at a desk job but works weekends in the family business. I don’t think it’s his actual meals that are the problem. It’s more a combination of a number of things. His portion sizes are very big and often finishes mine if I don’t finish it. He might have four or five pints or more on a Friday and Saturday night and have a takeaway aswell. I made healthy granola bars and prepared fruit and salad for the fridge in April and while he ate them and seemed to enjoy them, the problem was when he went home everything went out the window.
I have no problem supporting him in any way I can as he has mentioned for a while he would like to lose weight but he needs to take ownership of the situation too and I’m unsure how to broach it with him without upsetting him.

has he really gained 2 stone in 6 months or is this an estimate/what he has said and he’s maybe confused? Was he thin before? That’s 28lbs, an average of 3.5lb gain per WEEK….???? For someone who’s out getting his steps 4-5 hrs a week that’s a big big gain. I would have pints and takeaways at the weekend too, with less exercise than that most weeks and I definitely don’t GAIN 3lbs in a week. Has he considered a medical issue?

 

[monga]

The last two days I seem to have developed a really strong sense of smell, smells that don’t usually bother me have really been making me feel sick. My last period was only last week so can’t be pregnant, does anyone know what’s wrong?

I'd still do a pregnancy test to be sure x

 

[Purrrrrrr]

Don’t understand why they’re turning themselves on if they’re shut down? I know once I plug the charger into my sons it springs to life even if fully shut down but once I shut it down again it stays that way until it’s powered on again, maybe check the settings and see if there’s something there that making it turn on again.

I have found an article that has lots of tips to stop the battery from running low while not in use and apparently it's Alexia that turns it on.

One is a Samsung and no problems with that one

Thanks, Monga hopefully by their next stay I will have sorted it.