The advice thread for random problems #7

[ThisIsMyDragName]

It’s not exactly a problem as such, but I’m currently on maternity leave and we’d like to try for another baby relatively soon. Is it career death to have a very short break between leaves?! I’d go back to make sure I qualify for my 90% SMP properly.

On one hand I fear it is; on the other hand, I know I shouldn’t plan my family around my job.

I dunno how helpful this is but I am freshly back to work after mat leave and I just feel very differently about my career now! I’m glad to be working again, though I changed organisations and went for a part time role. But I used to absolutely throw myself headlong at my job, now I’m a bit more ‘eh’ about it. I care, I’ll be giving it my all, but it won’t be consuming me like it used to. Might there be career death if you have two children quite close together? I mean, legally there shouldn’t be! It might be a little more challenging to feel really connected and in the loop with a couple of long work absences but that’s what having a good plan around staying connected and doing KIT days is all about. But ultimately, you might find you aren’t actually that bothered. Sure, you might need the job/a job for financial reasons and/or to stop you going mad (it’s both for me!), but you might find you’re not that bothered about throwing yourself headlong up a career ladder anymore (and if you do, that’s totally ok too! Plenty of people balance big careers with families!). I was at the top level of my sector for the last two roles I did and it was shit. I’ve popped back down a couple of levels in this job and it’s great, it would take a lot for me to put myself through that ever again.

 

[JoeBloggs]

Ok am I being a miserable cow? I don’t have children and I’m not maternal so I am entirely open to accepting that this is all just me.

I live in an apartment complex. My apartment is above a kind of open area. It’s just an intersection of pathways really. Every wkend, all day long, kids are playing there, bouncing balls and laughing and shouting at eachother.

I keep my windows open because I’m perimenopausal and dying of the heat constantly. The sound from outside goes absolutely through me. All I want to do is sit in my living room and read my book in peace.

I understand that I can expect a child free life but not a child free world. There are no back gardens for these kids to play. They have a right to be outside. But my ears.

Check your lease; some do not permit things like this.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Anyone have a filtered water tap/machine? Fed up of buying bottled water (from Costco). We drink a lot of it so wouldn’t want a Brita jug.

We have a Quooker system. It came with the house. It’s really good

 

[Serene Serena]

This is a problem for a while away but I need time off work next January for my granddad's special birthday. With how my shifts work I need to swap to days to have them off. Do you think it's too early to ask the people I could swap with now? Should I wait a few months

Ask now, Then if it's not going to be possible for people to swap, you have plenty of time to come up with an alternative plan. Can't you just book annual leave?

 

[Captainmouse]

Not a problem as such but I was thinking of doing one of those DNA things to find out my ancestry. Has anyone here done one? What did you find out? Are there any downsides to doing it?

There is a thread

AncestryDNA, 23andMe dna tests

Has anyone done either of these? Any thoughts? Im tempted to do one to find out heritage background, but not interested in finding family members. Can you opt out of the finding family part? Any thoughts on which is better?

tattle.life

 

[Snippysnips]

Can someone help me what to order for my takeaway?

The options are Wagamama’s

Pros- healthy(ish), cheap including delivery due to discount count code.

Haven’t had it in a while.

Cons- Sometimes feels a bit like one bite and it’s gone.

Local Chinese

Pros- I get three dishes for £15-ish including delivery due to discount code.

I won’t be able to eat it all so I’ll have some left over for tomorrow.

It’s Friday tomorrow so a takeaway is normal

Cons- I’m really hating my body/weight so I do want to be healthy eating so having two chineses in a row will make me feel crap!

I cook pretty good meals all week aside from a Friday, I call it my cheat day an order whatever I want, so I say if you are having more or less good food all week then allow yourself that treat an order whatever you crave more

 

[Snippysnips]

Has anyone ever bought or been given a gift experience from websites like Wonder days? Are they any good ?

I've done it before, not with them but with others, an about 80% of it was mostly England which was no good for us being in Scotland, practically nothing is covered here but you don't know that most times till you have paid

What was the gift you were looking to get? I've found that the sites are helpful for ideas an as soon as I've found something I think people may like I go to company's themselves an book through them, my brother loves the driving type experiences so I go to a racing track up here an book through them, I've also went to hotels themselves an gotten things, with going direct you get a clearer picture of exactly what you are getting rather than hidden things in most of these gift experiences just like littlepup has said

 

[Magwitch]

As longs as he’s not driving it on the road, it’s ok to do that, in fact that’s what it’s for.

Yeah it’s exactly what it is for - off-road machinery.

 

[Serene Serena]

Hi anybody know how i get a code to invite a friend in to tattle ? Thanks x

VIP members can generate codes, but not all of them.

 

[chickhicks86]

I wonder if anyone has any ideas what my skin irritation could be? I have a itchy sensation within my skin , it's on an area of my left arm and on my left thigh. It is red , probably due to me scratching, and small red spots tend to appear within the itchy area. This is about the third time Ive had this over the last 15 years or so . It only ever happens when it has been hot and then it just disappears like magic after a while. The first time it happened, I got some cream from the gp but they didn't really explain what it was .
Someone I know suggested shingles which I suppose is possible

Prickly heat?

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

A colleague has just emailed me to say he’s got a PCN for stopping outside a school. I was with him but not driving, but I’m feeling quite conflicted about it. I asked him to pull over for a specific reason and the area I asked him to pull onto is owned by the organisation we work for. Except unfortunately, he didn’t pull right in and was on a footpath next to the zig zags. I’m minded to offer him half the money as it was me who asked him to pull in. He’s only in his early 20s, on a low salary (mine’s not that much better!) and I know he’s just moved house with his girlfriend. Would others do this? I sort of feel it’s the right thing to do even though I wasn’t driving.

If you knew he didn’t park in the correct spot you should have got him to move.
Would work pay?
I kinda feel you should pay the fine if you asked him to stop for you. But if it’s work related then work should pay

 

[Ivegone]

My random problem is that I hate my job and I don't think I will ever get another one and I want to die.

I want to call them all cunt over the tanoy so badly but I need the job

 

[Former_Antelopee]

Do people do this?! I’ve got so many pairs of heels I have finally admitted I’ll never wear again - I must be sitting on a gold mine!

Might as well try it

 

[avabella]

Does anyone have recommendations for nice candles good for a gift, that smell nice but are more of like organic, smaller business place or something less known (thinking not jo malone, white company, neom etc)

Valentte

 

[Serene Serena]

A couple of questions about suede

Can someone recommend a good suede polish? I just grabbed some lovely suede shoes from my local outlet and want to keep them looking good over time

in turn I have some suede boots that are so tight on the ankle and a squeeze on the calves. Can anyone recommend the safest way to stretch them out a bit? I don’t mind wearing them in but I can barely do them up at the moment

Regarding stretching your boots, you can get stretching spray, or, if you have room in your freezer, fill sealable freezer bags with water and put them in your boots, then freeze for 24 hours.

 

[chickhicks86]

I love voxi they also use vodafone

I use Voxi too. Best signal for me in the area I live, and I like the freebies they have sometimes too.

 

[littlepup]

I cleared out all my wardrobes last week and now my bin is full. I have one more bin bag I need to put in would it be bad if I borrowed my neighbours bin? No one lives there so they aren't using it

If it’s clothes/fabric there are places that’ll buy them by the kg for rags.

 

[Rocknrolla]

Thank you I never thought of asking tbh I'm one of those people who hates asking & putting people out, my hair personally is absolutely awful, has zero curl just pure frizz, I straighten it, tie it up & that's it, i sweat so bad if I wear it down heat literally comes off my head even in winter its so weird, I've just never been shown how to style it properly & had the piss taken out of me by my so called mother during my teenage years I've kind of just accepted it, i used to try & wear it down occasionally as a teenager using a whole can of mousse in the process giving it that crispy horrible texture. I just hate the fact a lot of hairdressers have you sitting in front of a big window like you are in some kind of freak show as well.

Hey, hairdresser here have a look into a Brazilian blow dry I think it would be great for you from what you have described of your hair, it will also be so much easier for you to manage at home x

 

[Chocolategoggler]

Hello everyone. My fridge freezer has broken down. It's ancient and honestly doesn't owe me a penny. So, I need to replace it.
The trouble is, my kitchen is upstairs.It's a converted cottage and my bedroom is downstairs. Living room and kitchenette upstairs.
I will need to order online because I've had back problems and struggle with pain and mobility.
Does anyone know of a firm - like John Lewis for example who will carry it upstairs for me and remove / dispose of the old one ?
I'm really stressing about it. Anxiety is a bitch.
Thank you

I ordered from Currys last year for a fridge/freezer. They have various charges for their service and set up.
Whatever I ticked for they carried it in, removed all packaging and placed it in position. Took the packaging away and my old fridge/freezer
You're not supposed to switch it on for so many hours to let it settle.
Wish I'd spent this time investigating inside the fridge, as if I dare to do that now it sets off an alarm.

ETA Found this:

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

If you specifically booked a room with 'x x room with balcony' would you be happy with a Juliette balcony? Or would you expect one you can walk onto? The description of the room says - Balcony or terrace

I'd expect to be able to step through a door without a long drop beneath me.