Just very quickly replying, but do you think you could be neurodiverse? I think I am probably somewhere on the spectrum, and a lot of this resonates with me. I am just heading out now, but you are not alone xx
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Aw thank you for your quick reply. I have no idea? My husband and daughter joke that I am autistic because I remember things in great detail and I am quite averse to change and a bit controlling about the way things are done but what about all those other feelings I mention, is that a neurodiverse thing? And if it is something like autism, what can I actually do about it?
Depending on your age , it could be hormones too . Perimenopause can leave women struggling to cope . I second the chance you may be neurodivergent. I suppose the solution is to try coping mechanisms to make things easier for yourself how you are , rather than trying to cope in a way that doesn't work for you if that makes sense.
Hey, I am 41, but have felt this way for as long as I can remember. The difference now (and the reason for my post) is I guess I am just realising that it's maybe not 'normal' to feel this way and I want to be able to feel differently. I will have a think about possible coping mechanisms.
I don't know, but maybe just having an explanation for your extreme feelings to certain situations might help you to manage. I do also agree that perimenopause might play a role. It's certainly doing a number on me! I think there is a neurodiverse thread on Tattle, either in the advice section or in off topic, might be worth asking in there if anyone has experienced similar?
I get like this, alot of it comes from my anxiety, I've never been screened for autism so not sure if I am or not but I do have bad anxiety an whenever something changes I end up getting angry about it because in my head everything's already been planned out an I can't cope with change because it feels like anything can happen an I won't be prepared for it, like I need to have this schedule in my head of exactly everything that will happen an as soon as something else comes along it's hard to cope with that so I end up getting pissed off because to me that's the whole schedule been thrown out the window even though it can be something as small as just an extra shop or a change in dinner etc an am kindi left feeling like why even bother to plan all this if it's just going be screwed up anyway
The best way I've tried to cope with it is to plan out my main things I need to do/go an then leave "wiggle room" like if am heading to the shops I always plan out how long I'll be then I'll add 30mins to it an say it's incase I need another shop if I don't get what I need, or if am planning dinner I'll plan two options, that way it feels almost like a backup plan if things do change
Unfortunately it's the only thing I can say to help, I think if your brain is the type it wants to plan everything out then any slight changes that happens you are going feel it, so I'd try making a backup plan like if option A isn't going work like your daughter's friends aren't free then you have option B which is to take her to the park or something
You can read up on "autistic burnout". It's a burnout that you get from doing to much. Things like living in an environment that's not made for how your brain works or having no energy left after pretending to fit in (masking) all day
But if that's not it, my first go to is always a multivitamine. There are so many people perking up from taking those at the end of winter
Can someone help me what to order for my takeaway?
The options are Wagamama’s
Pros- healthy(ish), cheap including delivery due to discount count code.
Haven’t had it in a while.
Cons- Sometimes feels a bit like one bite and it’s gone.
Local Chinese
Pros- I get three dishes for £15-ish including delivery due to discount code.
I won’t be able to eat it all so I’ll have some left over for tomorrow.
It’s Friday tomorrow so a takeaway is normal
Cons- I’m really hating my body/weight so I do want to be healthy eating so having two chineses in a row will make me feel crap!
The options are Wagamama’s
Pros- healthy(ish), cheap including delivery due to discount count code.
Haven’t had it in a while.
Cons- Sometimes feels a bit like one bite and it’s gone.
Local Chinese
Pros- I get three dishes for £15-ish including delivery due to discount code.
I won’t be able to eat it all so I’ll have some left over for tomorrow.
It’s Friday tomorrow so a takeaway is normal
Cons- I’m really hating my body/weight so I do want to be healthy eating so having two chineses in a row will make me feel crap!
I vote against anything which will make you feel crap
Maybe something to consider for the future, but the supermarket noodle + veg + sauce stir fry kits for £3 really are quite great, especially if you add your favourite protein (I love to add frozen prawns). It takes 5 minutes and is almost impossible to mess up.
It's these little healthy swaps that still satisfy your cravings that are the key - and each time chips away at that 'I feel crap in my body' feeling!
Aw yeah thank you! I do normally cook healthy fakeaway and Funnily enough, I’ve got frozen stir fry veg in the freezer. But I’ve just got back from a trip away and have no energy to go to the shop to get stuff in
I cook pretty good meals all week aside from a Friday, I call it my cheat day an order whatever I want, so I say if you are having more or less good food all week then allow yourself that treat an order whatever you crave more
I’m upset because I got really anxious again this evening and asked my bf for constant reassurance whilst he was watching football. Yes it’s annoying, granted; and he said I ask the same questions over and over again and it doesn’t help. Which is fair.
But he also said that I “spoke through the whole first half” which hurt because I thought we were just chatting. I said I felt like an inconvenience and said I wasn’t, I should just have “more self awareness when someone wants to watch something”.
Because he’s usually so lovely, this really hurt.
I am just sat in the bedroom upset whilst he watches football.
But he also said that I “spoke through the whole first half” which hurt because I thought we were just chatting. I said I felt like an inconvenience and said I wasn’t, I should just have “more self awareness when someone wants to watch something”.
Because he’s usually so lovely, this really hurt.
I am just sat in the bedroom upset whilst he watches football.
Do you have soundcloud? I listened to these NHS relaxation tracks through it. I was given a CD with these tracks when I saw MIND and it really helps.I’m upset because I got really anxious again this evening and asked my bf for constant reassurance whilst he was watching football. Yes it’s annoying, granted; and he said I ask the same questions over and over again and it doesn’t help. Which is fair.
But he also said that I “spoke through the whole first half” which hurt because I thought we were just chatting. I said I felt like an inconvenience and said I wasn’t, I should just have “more self awareness when someone wants to watch something”.
Because he’s usually so lovely, this really hurt.
Here is a link
Progressive Relaxation - Deep Relaxation
Listen to Progressive Relaxation - Deep Relaxation by Wellbeing #np on #SoundCloud
What I would say is that you need to try and self regulate and listening to relaxation tracks will help with this.
Other people can only give so much reassuration. As your BF pointed out, you ask the same question over and over. I used to do this too.
Google “ers reassurance seeking”. It will tell you why it’s ultimately making the situation worse and methods to try to stop/change that behaviour pattern.I’m upset because I got really anxious again this evening and asked my bf for constant reassurance whilst he was watching football. Yes it’s annoying, granted; and he said I ask the same questions over and over again and it doesn’t help. Which is fair.
But he also said that I “spoke through the whole first half” which hurt because I thought we were just chatting. I said I felt like an inconvenience and said I wasn’t, I should just have “more self awareness when someone wants to watch something”.
Because he’s usually so lovely, this really hurt.
https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/~/...n-Sheet---19---Reassurance-Seeking-Carers.pdf it may also be helpful to show him this.
Omg, I just googled it and I definitely do this and it’s scarily accurate
Barley sugar sweets for take off and landing.
My random problem is that I hate my job and I don't think I will ever get another one and I want to die. 