The advice thread for random problems #6

[petitspois]

We are supposed to fly back from USA to Heathrow on Saturday. I’ve just seen our flight shows as delayed but have had no contact from BA.
I’m assuming it’s because of the fire I saw on the news.
Does anybody know what we are supposed to do? Go to airport as normal? Try to contact BA? I’m at a bit of a loss as I see there has been massive price hikes by all the other airlines

Just wait, they’ll contact you. It’s an electrical issue so they need to know it’s up and running again before contacting customers.

 

[JoeBloggs]

Anybody living around London /the M25. I have a question.
We are flying from Heathrow this wkend and BA just informed us that the M25 is shut between J10&11.
Does anybody know how badly this affects traffic? Do we allow an extra hour? Or two?

Last time it was shut, it was dead as a dodo but I think it's because everyone just stayed away. No idea how much extra time you will need. The traffic around this area is currently awful anyway, could you come down before it shuts and stay?

 

[cowtastrophe]

10 weeks 5 days pregnant, nausea after my afternoon nap has been the worst. Snacking fresh air and water is helping but it comes in waves.

Congrats! Deffo try ginger, you can get ginger sweets.

 

[T-time]

I have been getting to know someone to build a friendship but I’m the only one who reaches out, asks how they are and asks any questions about them or their life. She doesn’t ask me anything about myself or ask me any questions. I’m thinking she’s not interested so doesn’t really care to ask, I don’t think she’s socially awkward because I’ve heard her converse with others fine. I think I should just leave it and ignore her too?

Is this also an IRL friendship? Because I am that girl, I hate it and can't seem to change it. I always forget to ask people how they are, to check in on them, but that doesn't mean that I don't care. I really do. I just don't really function in an online space as whatsapp. The letters take out the emotion and I get in my head, feel like a robot, delete whatever I wanted to send, then life gets in the way and before you know it it's been a month since your last text

I do make a point of seeing my friends quite regular. I'm okay with calling, sometimes hours on end. My friends know that they can always contact me, about big or small things. I do care about them and want to ask them about anything and everything but that is a feeling I can't express in words. It's literally a feeling about caring for them and want to know what they are up to and if I think about what to ask my mind goes blank

I get that you might think she is not interested, but maybe she is. Maybe you have different styles of communication. The lack of questions might be there but you don't know the intent behind it. Maybe she asked other people more because she knows them better so it's easier to ask things? You don't have to think about forming a question if you can ask about things that you know are still up in the air

Sometimes "how are you doing / what you up to" doesn't cut it, but I really am lost for what I could ask. If someone has tips for that, that would be great

 

[Captainmouse]

I came here for advice but caught up on the thread, it makes me sad and angry to hear people's financial situations and hear that the people who should help definitely do not. I am lucky enough to be in a good position at the moment but I do take extra measures to raise funds when I can do sothought I'd share...

- change bank accounts to gain a reward, we did this last month and got £175!
- look at apps that you can do things on and get paid for like play games, scan recycling or complete surveys
- sell stuff you no longer use, Vinted is a dream to use!
- additional to the last point if you have friends or family who mention they've donated to charity shops or can't sell on Vinted...offer to do it for a fee (I'm doing this atm for 50% fee)
- one that doesn't earn money but may help in your search for a new job, volunteer in your spare time whilst looking for alternatives work
- it goes without saying to use cashback sites if you do every buy anything, I think jam doughnut is really good for gift cards so even if you're only spending on supermarket shopping that would start a little pot and save for maybe Christmas treats?

I hope this helps in a small way and doesn't come across patronising or anything, I have a wide group of family and friends and none of them do any of the above!

This thread would like a visit from you

Do I want it? No. Do I need it? No. Save it! #4

Welcome to our fourth thread! This thread has been merged with the low/no spend thread so there’s a huge community of us now. The premise is to be mindful and intentional with our spending, particularly discretionary spending!

tattle.life

 

[TheGlossy]

For those who are on good terms with their siblings, do you usually text them a ‘Happy New Year’ on the 1st?

I texted one sibling ‘happy new year’ and they responded back, but my other siblings didn’t send me anything. Those same siblings also forgot my birthday and only wished me a happy birthday days later.

I don’t know if I should bother wishing them a happy new year by text?

 

[Snippysnips]

Is there anything better out there to stop/delay your period other than the pill that doesn't have too bad side affects?

Going on holiday soon, would love to be able to swim an just in general not bother with it, usually my doctor would put me on the pill to essentially delay it until I was back home, however this messes up my patterns an makes them unpredictable for when I take them, I'd usually feel the pains a day or two before it which would give warning but I'll take pains only to not get it until a week later out the blue, so if I can I'd rather not go on the pill, I've also been told it would be bad for me to outright stop them so looking for something a bit better

 

[cowtastrophe]

Any advice for anyone spending Christmas alone, don’t have any family or friends so entirely on my own this year.

Can you go away at all? I went on a silent retreat last Christmas and it was great. I had company but didn’t have to speak to anyone.

 

[TheGlossy]

I just found the form the kid was handing over to me. It’s an ‘Elf Report’ but it says ‘the Elf watched you’ which in my opinion makes the whole thing beyond creepy.

I know that Elf on the shelf is a tradition but still. They ordered it off of Amazon for €2.50 but I’m beyond confused as to what this is about. At least if you want to look somewhat legit, sell cards. This is weird.

 

[Former_Antelopee]

As JoeBloggs has said I also feel this isn't on you - they really should have told you that they was going to do what they did - at least run it past someone rather than just do it.

Maybe this is why they are bringing trouble to themselves.

I'd be completely honest - about all of it. You've said they know you are honest, the senior person knows what happened - be honest. Maybe this could help the other colleague to learn that there are practices to follow. This could be a wake up call for them.

I don't think they have the chance to have a wake up call (again), that's why I feel bad I bought his name into it

 

[Snippysnips]

Thank you for your response, and also @JoeBloggs .

The reason I ask is because when I get on a bus, I see these notices and simply ignore them, as I think they are for old people. However, I now realise that as I'm almost 70, perhaps I fit into the "old" category. Yet, I don't look it, feel it or act it . So for now I'll just continue letting other old people use those seats.

My dad's the same, he's 70 next year but would still naturally go for the middle seats even though he could take the front, I'd say go for whatever seat you feel comfortable with

 

[Thank(space)you]

I have a manager who is a bit scatter brained, the way they explain things is all muddled and not structured at all, as well as their written communication. Obviously it’s not something I can mention as it’ll sound like a personal attack which is not what I’m about. I just would like clear structured communication. I feel I understand things less when they explain things which makes no sense so I just learn on my own way which is a bit sad. Not sure whether to ask them for clearer communication?

I am a bit scatty, i try not to be but people always come back to me when I've been unclear or I've forgotten to address part of their query and I find it helpful. It benefits both of you at the end of the day, you'll fo your job better for understanding and they'll know that you know what you're doing. I'd definitely mention it but appreciate it can be scary

 

[Snippysnips]

I work with the wife of a teacher and she brings in about 10 boxes of chocolates at Christmas and end of July that are gifts her husband/the family won't eat. She said he prefers gifts of beer or wine as they can drink or regift.

For 6 years she bought in a beautiful Christmas cake, as one of the mums made it and decorated it as a gift, but none of their family like fruit cake.

It's definitely a hard thing, I know one of my cousins would obvs prefer the drink (she's quite young lol) but she only likes certain kinds which you'd need to know her to know what to get, so she enjoys just a box of celebrations

I do agree that it's starting to get out of hand now, I see all these videos of people doing teacher gifts an added up it must be coming close to £20/£30 which is insane, an its all this personalised stuff as well, classrooms have between 20/30 kids, my family do say they appreciate it but when your getting stuff twice a year from that many they just can't hold onto it

 

[Snippysnips]

You go direct to the credit card but I would question whether the dates she has is correct. Or it's purely a fault

Thanks, we are going keep at it, she was definitely on enough time to pay it, she had till may an it was all paid in the April, we have tried to go into the bank a few times but every time we are there it's like over an hour's wait to be seen

 

[cowtastrophe]

Depends how it was said and what the person is usually like! I think you’re right to treat it as a jokey comment though

I think this too. Unless it was said in an unpleasant tone, it sounds more like a throwaway comment.

 

[cowtastrophe]

Part of me is hoping once I’ve got through the 12wks probation period they might give me some extra hours, well I’m hoping anyway. Someone else who started the same time as me only has 7.5hrs a week it’s a joke how can anyone live on that? they do have a partner (no kids) but even so in their situation they would be best not working, I absolutely hate these low contract hours! Ironically when my kids were younger my friends would say there were no part time jobs around only full time & now it’s the opposite way round when our kids are grownup!

I took on a zero hours contract a few years ago because I was promised a certain amount of hours which never materialised. The reason was different - the person doing the rota at the time didn’t like me so deliberately didn’t give me shifts but the end result was the same. I ended up getting a part time job elsewhere but I realise it’s not that easy to do. Are there any other zero hours jobs you could fit in around it?

 

[Kim Mild]

I 100% get what you mean. I am undiagnosed but suspected (hello 90s eldest daughter high achiever so couldn't possibly be autistic).

This has been a real struggle of mine for years, so I know how you feel

Not everyone who comes up in the suggested has been looking at your profile. Often there is something in common, like location or a page / group you have both interacted with. Someone who has died is always been suggested to me, although we have mutual friends.

 

[Pesky Tarian]

I lent a friend a satin (poss silk) clutch and it has come back with mould spots on it . Google says treat with white vinegar and wash but I can't wash it as one side is heavily embellished. Any ideas? Loathe to throw it as it's vintage.

 

[Pulltheotherone]

Anyone having issues with the Zara and HM app ?
It won’t let me scroll down, just shows me the front page then when I click into any sections it just freezes.
I have tried installing and re installing and signing in and out but nothing.
The only thing I can think of now is that it’s my bank manager !

 

[griftalo]

I need to think of a gift for a 95 year old man and I’m absolutely stumped! He can’t read or write anymore, he doesn’t know how to use any tech, he’s not allowed any sweet treats and he’s in a nursing home so can’t give him a gift card as he doesn’t leave he doesn’t want filler stuff as he says it’s more clutter for others to clear when he dies (cheery I know!) I’m thinking maybe something to make his time there more comfortable/enjoyable, or maybe something to pass the time? Help!

Would he be able to have someone help him use a cheap tablet to play audio books on?