The advice thread for random problems #6

[JoeBloggs]

I don't know like, it's a bit harsh to say it's on her. It's a hard one because yeah the owner can't exactly ask the cat not to do that but it's pretty annoying spending a lot of money on your garden and it being destroyed. We have neighbours cats in the garden all the time, have dug our plants out before and keep shitting in the middle of the garden and nothing stops them. Then one keeps peeing on our doormat bought a new one and cleaned the area with citrus stuff and he's back pissing on it and it stinks again. What can you do? I have cats myself but they don't go outside and tbh i think it should be on owners of outdoor cats to contain them.

In this situation it does seem a bit exaggerated as hard to believe one cat would cause that much damage so I'd try and get evidence of some sort.

Cat owners have no obligation to contain their cats, I would certainly never do that to my own.

My point is, this woman isn’t prepared to accept the options the cat owner has offered. If you’re not prepared to try then it’s on you to accept the situation.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I'm so sorry, that sounds tough for all of you. I'm not a dog owner, but my auntie had a dog that went blind as well. It took him a while to be better able to navigate, but it was tough at first, there were stairs he didn't always remember...
I do remember her explaining that they were trying to help the dog learn to navigate the place better by using scent and also sound. Not entirely sure how it was done as I haven't seen it in action, but I remember her saying that it was recommended to them and seems to have helped

That sounds interesting, I’ll look into scent. Sound is definitely not helping.
At the moment it’s nice and relaxing as she’s sitting on the sofa with us.
But today she had been a nightmare. She just wouldn’t settle so I’ve been at her side constantly to stop her bashing into doors and walls

 

[Kim Mild]

Has anyone found the mini pill caused low mood? I can remember feeling down at times I haven't been on any contraception, but I wondering if there's a connection.

 

[Former_Antelopee]

I stupidly bought an airtag from vinted to use for when I travel so I can track my luggage. When I got it I realised it's not compatible with android . Does anyone have any recommendations for one for android?

 

[Pesky Tarian]

I had some new internal oak doors a while ago, the untreated kind and unfortunately I never got around to treating them. Family life has rumbled on and they now have greasy finger prints (kids) and tea stains (husband nudging the door open, tea in hand). These seem ingrained , does anyone know how I can clean these before I oil them please?. Google suggested fairy liquid but it didn't lift anything.

 

[Snippysnips]

I was recently looking at used cars and Hyundai have a brilliant reputation, both according to the salesmen and online reviews. Not sure what an i9 is but I had a look at a used i10, which was very spacious for a small car . It also had 5 seat belts, whereas an aygo has 4.

I had a Toyota years ago and I didn't get on with it

For balance, I have a Toyota and it never skipped a beat for years or cost a penny until it finally just failed (gear box needed replacing).

So a vote for each then

The i9 is very very similar to the aygo, I think I seen the i10 an it was a little big, am a very nervous driver an this will be first time back out on the road in a while so I want something small an both cars have quite a flat back which helps since I don't need to worry about it extending out an me accidently hitting something while reversing

I haven't been to Toyota to see their range yet, am going this week, but the i9 offers built in sensors an cameras for the back as well as navigation, if the aygo also does this its still not going help because right now the back sensors is what's helping

 

[epictoaster]

Hi everyone. Need some advice. It's a bit of a long one so my apologies in advance and please bare with me.

My brother (34) lives with my mom and my aunt in my mom's house. My brother has a job but does not pay rent, contribute to food/expenses, does not clean or even do his own dishes/laundry, and he does not drive.

**PLEASE NOTE: They live in a very rural area, they live 40 minutes from his job at mcdonalds. There is absolutely zero public transit available. My mom is an independent housekeeper. My aunt is essentially retired but not in the best shape these days.**

He lost his drivers license in 2021 due to a DUI - he was not actively consuming pot but he had it in his system and paraphernalia in the car. This was not alcohol related - resulting in rolling over his car going around a turn too fast. He paid the fines and completed everything associated with the DUI but has not bothered to try and get his license back - despite working a 5 minute walk from the DMV or getting another car of his own.

He has zero disregard for my mom and aunt who ensure that he gets to work at all hours because they do not want him around the house inevitably jobless if they don't take him. He does not pay for gas. Ever. He has several sexual partners all hours of the day and night coming and going from the house without warning.

He is very narcissistic, lazy, and has the ability to be violent. He consumes an exorbitant amount of pot - I'm a huge stoner myself but he tries to be absolutely stoned 24/7, smokes to and from work, AT WORK and all through the night. When he is home, he's most likely sleeping or playing Xbox all hours of the night while not working, with unsavory groups of people whom based off conversations that can be heard, act just like him.

If either of them ask for repayment or assistance around the house - he throws a fit.

He's not the type to go to therapy, he was never truthful in therapy as a kid so it was very unhelpful for him in the past. At this point, he downright refuses to consider it.

I will quite literally put him through a wall during a visit home if he ever loses his temper at my aunt or mom. My dad was abusive and I will never allow that again. He has turned into him in different ways.

So, I guess my question is, should I try talking to him? Like a dead serious what the fuck conversation? Any tips on how this should go? How should she go about kicking him out, can that even be done and legally keep him out?

Its just gotten so especially bad in the last 6 months.

 

[Former_Antelopee]

Have you got a union you’re a member of or can join? As far as I know any sort of contract change like that would have to go through consultation etc and the union rep would be all over something like that I’d imagine.

It will be via consultation but we have no union

 

[griftalo]

If its not your home, you need to go via your landlord/HA or the Council. Whoever owns the property will have insurance which will help fight the other side.

It’s going through the at fault party’s insurance so they’re taking all the time in the world.
Why is insurance so shit? I haven’t even got my holiday money back yet after being ill and unable to go - last year!!

 

[NowIsGood]

Anyone know anywhere reputable (on high street or online) where I can get an old family VHS put onto a DVD/disk/memory stick? X

 

[LadyLockdown]

ETA - Am not sure if this is the right place for this so please let me know if it'd be better somewhere else. Thanks

This is a largely hypothetical question, but it’s been on my mind recently.

I’ve just found out that someone I used to work with has been told they only have about six months to live. We were never especially close, and since I left that company years ago, we haven’t spoken or interacted much—maybe the odd “like” on Instagram, but that’s about it. When we did work together, though, we got on well enough and would share a laugh whenever our roles overlapped.

They’re not the first former colleague I’ve heard of being diagnosed with a terminal illness, and in those cases I didn’t reach out either. It wasn’t out of malice or avoidance, more that we’d drifted out of each other’s lives, and I felt strange about getting in touch only because I’d heard they were dying.

I’m not beating myself up over it, but it has got me thinking. I’d be curious to hear what other people would do in this situation. Would you reach out, or just leave it be?

 

[Captainmouse]

Any techies? Just wondering if it's possible to access the internet on a smart TV without any other cables or things? For example could I use my phone and WiFi to do all the things I do on my phone but on the big screen? I have Google home also if that helps.

Yes, but as all tv's are different you will need to have the information, as they don’t all use the same terminology. But you should be able to stream from phone and mirror on tv for example

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

That‘s awful, poor dog. That must be so hard to cope with. Possibly a stupid question but did the vet have any advice?

No advice from the vets but we are going to a different one on Monday to see if they can help

 

[Former_Antelopee]

I agree, they do it to effectively keep you in your place. Ask him exactly what was said, how recently and by whom (he won’t give the name but ask if it was more than one and a close colleague etc). He’s expecting you to be cowed and nod and take it on board but he might well be exaggerating or even making it up. If it happens again then say you’re confused and raise it in front of him and the superior so you can get to the bottom of the conflicting feedback.

The negative stuff was true it was two things so I'll take that on board, although one did annoy me because I think it's unfair but whatever. He named one person and the situation it happened which wasn't even what happened so I did say that unless it happened another time but I don't ever remember that happening before. I'm pretty sure I know who said about the other things which makes me not want to work with this person, one was a mistake on my part but they didn't know the entire situation so made it sound worse on me, I did say it wasn't exactly like he'd been told, but whatever he told me how to improve in it so I'll just do that it was more the other one the annoyed me anyway. It just confused me because there wasn't anything positive whereas two others told me they got positive feedback yet didn't hear anything about that

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Can you write a letter to the practice manager?

I did see online to complain to the practice manage first via email. But maybe your right Inshould write a letter.
However I think it’s pointless complaining to them as they’d know how dirty and disgusting the place is.

 

[Thank(space)you]

How much would you give for a wedding of an ex colleague? I don't see her often at all but went to the hen party

£50 if you can afford to

 

[Former_Antelopee]

Does anyone know much about Facebook groups? I'm in a group not many people post in, I probably post the one of the most (only 4 posts). Today I posted something else and it says declined, if I click declined it says pending. Is this something the group admins have put specifically for me? Or everyone? From what I've read they can do it for one person but I think then I wouldn't be able to comment on other posts or react to other posts which I can still do. It's only a small group under 20 people

 

[BearOnChair]

Will be soon and have been looking since Jan. Out of curiosity, are you in walking distance to a train station? I have found houses with good transport links tend to sell, whereas ones 1.5 miles or more from a station just stick.
Have you had any feedback from the viewings?

We're semi rural so I'm not sure being that close to a train station would help. We're a 5min drive from a main trainline into the city which most commuters round here use.

The feedback has been things like not right for them, nothing specific.
Had a viewing on Friday that seemed fairly positive so we'll see on Monday if the estate agent can get any feedback.

 

[FlipFlop0706]

I had allergy testing done with the British allergy clinic. It’s expensive but I was desperate for answers and some way of getting back to normalcy. I sent an enquiry, was tested and had results in less than 3 weeks.

Will check them out - thank you!

 

[Bobbleowl90]

How much is the standard amount when gifting for a wedding? Context; close friend, invited to the hen do and wedding ceremony and night do. The wedding is a casual affair with no sit down meal.

Some of the recommendations I’ve seen on TikTok are absolutely insane.