The advice thread for random problems #6

[Sunflower91]

I had allergy testing done with the British allergy clinic. It’s expensive but I was desperate for answers and some way of getting back to normalcy. I sent an enquiry, was tested and had results in less than 3 weeks.

 

[miss n thropy]

Does anyone know who you would go to, to get a ring checked an valued? If it would be a jeweller's or someone more specialised? An if we would be allowed as well

We have a ring that's been passed down the generations, the problem is, it's a rough cut diamond that technically I think would be illegal to have in today's terms, we don't know what type of diamond it is but we have a suspicion it was smuggled over from Africa, apparently family/friends? (We aren't sure) Went over to mine because they needed people who knew to mine back then an that's how it come back here

Would I even be allowed to have this looked at or even valued, it's years an years old

You should be able to have it valued at a jeweller. The hallmark will show how old it is and then they would know it was an heirloom.

A friend of mine has a lot of old ivory heirlooms she had valued even though it’s illegal to import anymore x

 

[DWASN]

If you've not had this problem with your regularly lady, I would message the new lady and be honest - maybe she's recently trained (not trying to excuse her) but I agree £40 for another appt that you could yet again be asking for chips etc to be sorted.

It's hard as she is probably needing to build a client list, and is lovely - but you want gels that are going to last the 3 weeks between appts.

I'm not much help, sorry - I trained in beauty and nails - I didn't do training for gels, as Iike natural, but had I become employed within beauty, I would have wanted clients to be truthful and let me know. It's the only way to keep learning.

Thank you, I agree it’s better to be honest. She’s just posted up her April appointments and the next date I’d need doesn’t have a suitable time. I’m quite limited on day I can do with work/childcare so I think I shall let her know & have another look for someone else.

 

[Codiaeum]

Very boring grown up question. I have a wall in my garden that I painted white last year. After the bad weather it’s now turned green with algae and grime. I can’t jet wash it cos it’ll knock the paint off (I tried) - what can I use to clean it off?

You can buy a special cleaner that will help remove the green stuff and also prevent it from coming back for a bit. Just look for something against verdigris.
If you have some at home, you can also use sodium carbonate (not baking soda), dissolve 4 or 5 tablespoons in about five liters of warm water and brush the wall with that solution with a stiff brush. You need to wear gloves, it can irritate your skin.
I’ve used both special cleaner and sodium carbonate and both have worked equally well for me.

 

[L1fe0nM@rs]

It is hard to say but it’s much better to be upfront as there’s nothing wrong with saying you’re not keen, it’s not like you’re going to ask her not to be friends with her. You’ll feel a lot better for getting it out there

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

When you're away with friends is it unreasonable to expect to actually do stuff with them? I've just had several shitty messages from a "friend" because I was away with them over the weekend and expected to do things with them? I don't want to wander around a strange city by myself. Hardly anyone told me where they were going or what they were doing

Was this not discussed before you went away together? Not everybody travels the same it seems like an important detail to talk about expectations

 

[bozlem3080]

My daughter is a type 1 diabetic - she had a medication review booked as a telephone consultation, they never called, and she received a snotty text just 30 minutes after the scheduled appointment just like this. Saying she should take her chronic illness seriously! It was the exact same situation as this - really disgusting, and quite frankly, anyone who has lived with type 1 diabetes or has loved ones with it knows that they take it 'seriously' - she's been injecting multiple times a day for 20 years.

That is disgusting, my friend is a patient at the same surgery, booked in at reception, told to sit upstairs, waited after appointment time then got a shitty text message about missing their appointment even though they were literally sat there, went to reception, explained & was told basically the GP wouldn’t see them!

I’ve put in a complaint, doubt anything will be done about it but I’ve moved to another surgery. Hopefully will be treated better. I don’t want to be wasting an appointment for blood tests when I’m not on any medication when someone else can have it instead. Surely I should be making an appointment for when I want to see a healthcare provider not the other way round & certainly not be bullied or threatened.

 

[bozlem3080]

You can take paracetamol and ibuprofen together as they may be more effective, just don't take more than the max of either in 24 hours.

My mum always used to swear by oil of cloves for toothache, if you can lay your hands on that it might help.

However you do really need a dentist, I know it's so hard to find an NHS one now, but I've seen it suggested to call 111, and they should be able to get you an appt with a dentist or at the dental hospital in your area. I think toothache is one of the worst pains, hope you can get it sorted soon.

Thank you so much, I’ve been so lucky in the past & only really suffered with wisdom teeth pain, luckily were taken out, only had surface fillings but the past week I’ve really suffered, I’m convinced my teeth are just going to randomly fall out, even though not wobbly I’ve got a bit of earache/headache that I can cope with, found some clove oil in the cupboard so going to put some of that on & see how it goes. Toothache is the worst, I’m also convinced I grind my teeth in my sleep & just put it down to that at first & the more the pain has gone on the worse I think my anxiety has been as well.

 

[JoeBloggs]

Hello all.

someone on the celebrity gossip thread sent me here and I would appreciate some advice on a very specific issue, although I have already got one very good suggestion from there.

My dearest friend of over 40 years, we are now both over 60, has, as is fairly typical with aging, put on a lot of weight and is now medically classed as obese. It is also causing her health issues. I know her husband mentions losing weight to her because he is genuinely scared for her health, she had a heart scare only last year.

She has been very good to me over our many years of friendship and I want to be kind and supportive, but every time I see her, her first and most common topic is her weight. ”I’m so fat” “Nothing fits” “I’ve put 5 pounds on this week”. It’s been at least thred years now that this has been the main thing she talks about. When we go out, she will constantly point out women she thinks are fatter than her, and sometimes make disparaging remarks, which just makes me uncomfortable. (I know this is projection and she does it because she feels bad about herself.)

I am going to sound awful, but to be honest, I’m tired of this topic.
My main need for advice though is what do I actually say? Does she want me to sympathise or give her a pep talk or just listen?
I have some extra weight but it just doesn’t bother me that much. That said, everyone is different and I know it bothers her not just in terms of health but mainly how she looks. She is actually pretty active as she has a Dalmatian that she walks for miles every day. Any advice would be much appreciated on what to say to be a good friend, but also, maybe I don’t want to talk about this every time we see or speak to each other, which is pretty much every day.

If the weight gain is also unexplained - no changes in her diet etc then maybe you could put the concerned spin on it and suggest she gets it looked into.

Maybe also make comments about how you find it uncomfortable when people speak about other peoples bodies.

 

[conrea37]

The clocks went backwards yesterday and I can say my anxiety kicked in immediately. When I realised it’s pitch black at 5.30pm, I literally almost cried.

It’s never really affected me much but this year, it has. I’ve been in an anxious mood since the clocks went backwards. Aside from buying those sunlight lamps and waking up early, is there anything I can do to deal with this?

It might be hard for many reasons but try and get out and about when you can during the day? That helped me massively, got myself an outdoor hobby. Vitamin D tablets can also be helpful.

 

[littlepup]

Wondering if anyone has done anything similar and if this could work...

We're selling our house and it's looking like our marriage is coming to an end. I can afford a small mortgage on my own but I will need more than half the equity of the house. I think he will be agreeable to that so the kids have a house we'd be happy with.
Will it work if we sell this house together, I buy a new one with the proceeds I need with a mortgage and he gets the remaining equity?

And then we deal with a financial order once the house is sorted? There's other assets involved that would mean he'll be able to get somewhere to live that's suitable.

Does that work??

If both sides agree, and there’s nothing dodgy tax evasion wise, you can do what you like.

 

[Snippysnips]

Ok my bad, it's a i10

Not me sitting trying search online for a i9 an wondering how it doesn't exist I viewed a few cars today lol, so it's between the i10 an aygo

 

[Kim Mild]

Mr Lolz and I are going through a stressful time at home, not of our own making. Anyway this is just to give a bit of context.
Tonight he blew his lid with me and tbh I’m shocked he hasn’t done it earlier.
He pointed out that for the last couple of weeks I’ve done nothing but pick fault with everything he does. And I mean even small things like brush his teet to loudly

I know I’m not the easiest person in the world but once he pointed it out tonight I felt sick at how I’ve been treating him. Some of this is in my nature to do but I’ve never been this bad.

I like to think I do some introspection and work on myself in general. But I’m not sure how to try and change this behaviour.
Any helpful tips?

I think the first step is that you've admitted you need to change. That is often so hard , so well done for doing that.
There is probably a reason you are behaving like this , so you may need to work on the cause. If I get like this , it's due to resentment, hormones or anger. Secondly. what you pick fault with is probably not the root cause of the above feelings, there may be something deeper.

 

[Piff paff puff]

You can usually cast to a TV from a phone or tablet, the way mine works is I have my phone an tablet registered on my TV so whenever I access things like YouTube for example it pops up on my phone if I want to cast or not, however that's with apps that the TV already has, am not sure what it would be like casting if you wanted to use the internet like Google from your phone, you could try connecting your TV from your phones settings an seeing if you could cast that way similar to connecting a Bluetooth you'd be connecting the TV

Thanks, I know I can do all of this on a smart TV and don't need Google home or anything or to control it with my phone as the smart TV that I have used has an internet browser and and I have WiFi. But I wanted to use a separate TV and because the main TV is connected to an outside cable TV aerial? I wondered if a separate TV with no outside cable or TV aerial would work only using the internet on it. Sorry if that's complicated, I just wanted to know for sure before I go out and buy a smart TV. I don't want to watch digital channels, though if I could that would be a bonus but I just want to use it for the internet as I watch online films ( no subscriptions) just a website.

 

[Rubberdungeon]

It sounds like you're torn between the need for change, more money and concerns about what it might do to your work-life balance and well-being.

It’s only natural to feel anxious about making a big career decision, especially when it's motivated by push and pull factors such as burnout and higher pay.

Ask yourself what matters most right now, is it more money, work-life balance, or time for friends and hobbies?

If social time is most important to you, shift work may feel isolating. If better pay is your priority, the opportunities in this new position might outweigh some of the downsides.

If you’re still unsure, doing the interview could help give you a clearer picture. Think of it as a way to learn more before making a decision. It may help to think of this as a learning experience rather than an all-or-nothing decision. Go into the interview with an open mind, knowing that you’re still in control, and you can always decline the new position if doesn’t feel right. Good luck!

 

[miss n thropy]

Thanks, I'll try an see if there's an antique jewellers around me, if I knew what type it was I'd be able to look it up but it's really rough cut because they didn't have the tools back then to cut them so I've no idea what it is

Am not sure if I'd go through with selling it but it would be nice to at least know what it was an its worth

I would get it valued if only for insurance purposes x

 

[JoeBloggs]

Random question. When we read signs on public transport stating front seats are for the elderly, what age would you expect that to be?

I would say it depends on how they look, over 70 but perhaps a bit younger if they looked frail.

 

[Snippysnips]

Oh it works for me and also on the preview

it’s an emergency foil/space blanket, the type they wrap runners in or people exposed to cold, very cheap I bought one to put up last summer to deflect the heat/sun.

Thanks, I'll look it up

Not sure why it's not showing for me

 

[Codiaeum]

Thoughts about selling a house? I have the problem that I have 5 different types of flooring all the way through the house which makes for a very chaotic feel in the house. One of them is a more expensive vinyl which I just had done on the stairs. The other is hardwood, left over from the previous owner in bedroom 1, and the third is cheap laminate in bedroom 2 and 3 that I can’t buy any longer. Should I redo the floors with the vinyl to get a consistent look? Or is that money thrown out the window? I'm guessing the buyers will probably tear out the whole thing anyway but if it gives me 5k more on the sales price it might be worth it.

Do you already have an agent who could advise what might increase appeal for buyers and that doesn't actually put you out of money?
I personally wouldn't be put off by flooring, potentially something I'd replace anyway. A fresh coat of paint goes a long way to freshen things up, especially if you have the paint already and you can do it yourself.
I've heard that depending on how dated fixtures in the kitchen look, that might be a worthwhile expense, as kitchen are central focus and family points, so potential buyers pay a lot of attention to this. Fixtures aren't expensive to replace, we did that in our old flat, which had really horrible "buttons" in the entire kitchen. Replaced it with modern stainless steel "bars", which cost about 20€ for the entire things, gave everything a really good scrub and that frankly took 15 years off that kitchen. We sold it for the same price we bought it for 8 years later.

I'd tidy up the garden, but wouldn't spend too much money there, don't put any expensive shrubs or flowers in. Chances are, if your buyers are having major renovation done, a lot of that garden will suffer anyway. I'd just make sure it's weed-free where possible and if you have any tiles or similar there and it looks a bit greenish after the winter, give a powerwash. (Or scrub with soda, also removes it, just less fun than a power washer)

 

[petitspois]

Mr energy company have been hassling me to get a smart meter before they switch over. My they fitted one in my neighbour house and now his water boiler doesn't work properly and after numerous phone calls they won't come out to sort it.
So my problem is that my storage heater and my water boiler aren't going to work after the switch over with either meter. How can they leave people with these problems without any provision?

Just say you don’t want one.