The advice thread for random problems #6

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Ok my bad, it's a i10

Not me sitting trying search online for a i9 an wondering how it doesn't exist I viewed a few cars today lol, so it's between the i10 an aygo

My vote is for Toyota. Honestly super reliable and cheap to run

 

[Thank(space)you]

[May be TMI for some]

On Saturday evening, I started experiencing cramping in on the left side of my pelvis. I didn’t think much of it as I usually get minor ovulation cramps which go away after a day or two.

However, this time, the pain has gotten progressively worse as time went on. It’s so painful to the point where it’s all I think about and I can barely walk. I took some ibuprofen but it only reduces the pain for an hour or so only for it to come back again.

I normally don’t even experience period cramps, so I’m literally confused as to why ovulation cramps would come out of nowhere like this.

I’m not sure if it’s a random occurrence or a ruptured cyst but it’s really debilitating. Has anyone experienced this before?

I get this, but not so severe. I have cysts on my ovaries which do occasionally burst so put it down to that.
Someone at work had it and went to a&e & was diagnosed with mittleschmertz

 

[HelloStereo]

Am I overreacting....

Had a handyman round replastering my ceiling. I'd seen him on local pages for the last couple of years and his work looked good, so when I recently needed some work doing, I contacted him and a couple of others for a quote. Out of 3, he's the only one that turned up when he said he would and gave a quote, so I booked him in.

When he turned up, he seemed a cheeky chappy kinda guy, joking when he turned up, saying he'd bought me a gift, then saying it was a bag of plaster, and saying it's not his usual gifts of flowers.

I was working from home, and he had to walk past me to his van. Random questions came every time he passed. "Are you single" I said yes. "Happily?" I said yes. Thinking I wasn't really sure how to respond, so just to keep it to one word answers. Then half an hour later when he passed "How old are you?" I said I wasn't discussing it and that I was working, kinda laughing it off. He said "why are you being cagey".

In my head I couldn't work out if he was just having banter, but at the same time I was thinking, I've only met him twice, I'm not telling him all my personal details. I felt safe cos I can contact work people over the computer if needed, but I was starting to think of ringing one of them.

He then kept trying to guess my age.....guessing 15 years younger, I just laughed again and said no. I was already thinking, what a creep, trying to flatter me with chat up lines.

I started to wish he would leave, and maybe I should've asked him to go. Or maybe I should've been firmer, saying I was trying to work. But that would've felt like an overreaction......it was just random questions, once every half hour ish. And then I'd have had to find another plasterer after being fed up of others not turning up, and I couldn't really tell if the situation was odd or not.

Then as he was leaving, he sat down to write an invoice, and asked if I'd ever been married. I said I wasn't discussing it. Then he responded, so would you be interested in friends with benefits. I just said "erm no" and turned back to my computer.

Thinking back to when I got the quote from him, I remember noticing he made a few digs about his ex wife.....etc. which I remember thinking was a bit of a red flag, but brushed it off.

My question is (and thanks for reading).....how would other people have handled this situation? I just feel really awkward now, and not sure why. I feel a bit grubby.

Would others be flattered? I think I feel that if he genuinely fancied me, he shouldve text me after......not when he is in my home and he has control cos he's got my ceiling half done. It just felt wrong.

Then the friends with benefits thing, asking that whilst knowing I had to sit there while he was writing out the invoice......I just thought.....how many women is he being like this with?
And is he even aware that it's not appropriate? But then i thought, we're all adults after all, and he was just asking questions.......

Any thoughts or comments are appreciated x

You're not overreacting at all, I'd have felt the same as you. I get it, sometimes you let things slide at first when you don't want to make things awkward (even though they're the ones being inappropriate) and they seem to interpret it as you accepting their come on which is not the case at all. I hope you don't have to see him again.

 

[Snippysnips]

Does anyone use reflective window film, an would it reflect cars lights back similar to a mirror?

Arsehole neighbours across from me have done up the house an done away with the front garden to put in a extended driveway since apparently having one that fits two cars isn't enough however it now means their car when in this new part is sitting right opposite my living room window an they will sit there for up to an hour sometimes with their full headlights on

While I could shut the blinds I don't see why I should have too, the room feels more closed in when they are shut an I like having them open, so aside from putting up an actual mirror to shine the light back at them I was thinking about getting a reflective firm but am not sure what's the best to go for or if it will work the way I want it too

 

[Snippysnips]

Can anyone help?
At the end of January I had a bleed on the brain. Luckily it was a small bleed and i have been left with no disability other than I do get fatigued more easily than I did and on the odd occasion and I do mean odd I sometimes can't find a word I want.

I want to return to work but my employer is saying he won't have me return unless I get a letter from the hospital to say I'm fit to work. I work in an independent retail shop. It's not rocket science but can be busy in the summer months. So quickly we established the hospital were not going to write such a letter, the stroke units take on it was if you want to go to work then go to work. My employer wasn't satisfied with that.
After much toing and froing an appointment with an Occupational therapist was made. He's coming today at 1.45pm. Speaking to him on the phone I told him what my employer had asked for, he said he was not medically trained in that respect and he will be be drawing up a phased return to work only. I need to contact my GP to get a fit to return to work form.
I rang the GP's and the receptionist tells me no it's up to the occupational therapist if you're fit to do your job or not.

Really??
All I want to do is go to work. It's a 2 day a week job. Should it be this difficult? Has anyone else had this amount of problems?

Not sure why they are all going back and forth over who's responsibility it is, when I was out of work an went back due to health it was my GP that done my back to work notes and my work place done a phased back to work for me, am pretty sure all work places need to be able to do a phased back to work themselves

 

[chickhicks86]

Does anyone have any recommendations for getting rid of smell from activewear? Since I started running more all my gym clothes smell awful no matter how much I wash them

Bio washing powder / liquid. You can get a special "sports one" by Dylon, but normal is fine. I also use Zoflora or Dettol laundry cleanser in the detergent drawer. I think most important is to wash straight away and not let it sit. If I'm not doing a full wash, I often just do the quick 15 minute one with Zoflora so any BO bacteria is rinsed out and then fully wash as normal.

 

[Snippysnips]

Neighbours parcels keep being left on our doorstep, no knock, no card, just left.
They order everyday on amazon so it's pretty annoying.
I used to take them straight round myself but I'm a bit fed up of it because it's everyday and they've never tried to prevent it.
What would you do?
Just wang them over the hedge into a puddle??

If it was every single day I'd just be throwing them from the door over to their side, if they end up in the middle of their garden or a puddle or whatever then too bad, it sounds like they have your address on Amazon an can't be bothered to fix it since there's no card as Amazon tend to do that now, when I've ordered I just get it left at my door now, only reason I know they have been is because I get the delivered notification, maybe the more you just throw them over to their side they will fix the address

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

Here's a random thing.

Nice looking work shoes for conferences, office days, etc - something that balances a nice elegant style with comfort. I have the Clarks Pure Tone (below) in a load of colours but want something perhaps a bit more ballerina style, or even a small heel. Has anyone tried the Vivaia shoes? They look great but so expensive.

 

[NoHintOfDrama]

I’m with Sky Mobile and very pleased with the service.

 

[ivenotimetotiktok]

Thank you for the replies.

I am in the UK yeah I haven’t refused as I cannot afford for it to go against me.
I think what bothers me is my mental health was triggered because I done overtime since November and they haven’t been paying us right so my overtime was missing eventually got that as a back payment in Jan. I’m still owed 6 hours pay which I’m fighting for.
My payslip isn’t due till end of the month and I’m already so anxious worrying it’ll be wrong again

 

[L1fe0nM@rs]

Parents of teenagers especially those off to college in September (16-17yrs old) roughly how much pocket money are you giving your kids
my kid is currently on £25 a week is That enough or do I need to increase it? It’s just money to use towards food and drink when they go out with friends
mobile phone/clothes/ toiletries/hair stuff I pay for that

It depends on what you can afford - I’ve always given £150 a month and paid for extras - which is more than enough I think. Some friends get much less and some a lot more. If you can afford I prob would increase it a little bit to acknowledge that college is more expensive than school but not so much that they don’t see the benefit of a part time job! They’ll want to save for a holiday after 6th form for instance and I personally think it’s good for them to work for a contribution to that.

 

[T-time]

So not sure where else to post this but I'm torn what to do. My current housemate has thrown a curve ball and is moving out. I found out yesterday so I was straight onto looking at places as I can't afford the current rent by myself. I mean, I could with bills on top but it's a stretch, but funnily enough, my friend asked me to move in with her as she's looking someone to look after the house and her cat while she's away (she works as cabin crew) and she's suggested I pay £600. I have 4 weeks to find a place lol

I went to view a place for £625 for rent for a flat only, and I think I'm in a a good position to get it, and with bills ontop, it leaves me with £1000 to pay my own bills, save, groceries and live basically.

But if I move in with my friend, it leaves me with £1200 a month to play with. I currently pay £600 with my housemate who pays the same but we overpay on gas and electricity etc so my current bills are only £500 maybe.

So I'm not sure what to do. I like the idea of living with my friend as we're the same age (34), similar attitudes etc, but do worry it might go tits up and I lose a friend. BUT then it oculd bring us closer together and she could be gone for a week at a time so i'll have a house (as she's got a 2 bedroom house with a garden) to myself.

I know this is an extremely lucky problem to have in some ways, espically with the state of hte world is in the UK. so any advice would be appreciative

I don't know where you live but there is a housing crisis going on. If all goes tits up, you will lose a friend. And is it still that easy to find another place to live for £625?

She is 34, I assume that you're around that same age. How will that go with partners, dates or hookups? Always go to their house and hope they don't have roommates?

But I only hear horror stories from friends who are 30+, live in a shared house and they can't bring a date home because they back out when they hear that they share a house. Most people age out of that at that age. Or the other party got a partner and instead of living with a friend, they never saw their friend anymore. They could hear them having sex and suddenly the guy live there too. They didn't sign up for that and these friendships went belly up real fast.

It does save you a lot of money, but if things go to hell, was it still worth it?

 

[epictoaster]

Like the other poster mentioned ask your mum and aunt to stop complaining to you.
I had to drum it home to my mum that I couldn’t take the emotional burden anymore. If she didn’t want to make changes then she can’t complain to me about it. My MH took a dip and I was so stressed that my blood pressure went through the roof.
I think that’s what actually made my mum stop moaning to me is when I said to her my GP diagnosed me with high blood pressure due to the stress
So please take care of yourself

Yes, I definitely need to set some boundaries. I already tend to keep my physical distance, visiting brings on a lot of anxiety and stress weeks in advance

I think sometimes when people are being enabled and it stops they will sink because they can’t do it alone but sometimes they’re just purely taking advantage because they can and would survive.
He has the ability to drive, he’s choosing not to because he doesn’t have to. He also has a job. Those are two big things he has that would allow him to help himself. He’s making active choices to worsen his circumstances because currently he has a choice.

The longer he’s enabled the further he will get from being able to sort himself out, she’ll lose the skills he had and then what happened when the option is no longer there?

It’s a crappy situation but it seems to be of his own making but your mum still has an element of that protective Mama going on. Can you get her to see that she’s actually not helping him to prepare for the future?

.
Yes, my husband and I both have been extra diligent about reminding her of that over the years. I'm hoping with her sudden desire to move house will florish and she takes action.

Thanks everyone. Much appreciation, I just wasn't sure if stepping in would be a good idea or not.

 

[JoeBloggs]

It's this one
View attachment 3291777

Its stunning. I would look up Nancy Birtwhistle, she has some amazing tips for these sort of things.

 

[boomska]

I've tested it out, I've a lot of hair and it's straight and wasn't impressed with it, tbh, the curls fell out very fast and the blow-dry round brush attachment didn't do anything for me.

Abhhh okay, thank you!!

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I’m sick and feel like crap. My body aches and I have a headache, probably flu 🥲
What is your go to remedies? What do you swear by?
Also what do you eat?

 

[Snippysnips]

It says declined post and then if I click the manage post it says pending
View attachment 3406709
View attachment 3406710

Am on a few groups, usually when a mod needs to approve a post I see pending, however I've never seen declined and pending at the same time, when something gets declined the pending disappears

I wonder if it's somehow bugged out an the mod can't see it as pending or declined, or they have clicked on something an its not went through properly

 

[Snippysnips]

Any techies? Just wondering if it's possible to access the internet on a smart TV without any other cables or things? For example could I use my phone and WiFi to do all the things I do on my phone but on the big screen? I have Google home also if that helps.

You can usually cast to a TV from a phone or tablet, the way mine works is I have my phone an tablet registered on my TV so whenever I access things like YouTube for example it pops up on my phone if I want to cast or not, however that's with apps that the TV already has, am not sure what it would be like casting if you wanted to use the internet like Google from your phone, you could try connecting your TV from your phones settings an seeing if you could cast that way similar to connecting a Bluetooth you'd be connecting the TV

 

[bozlem3080]

Your teeth aren’t going to fall out, it doesn’t work that way, I don’t mean that harshly, just perhaps if you could apply the biology to it it could alleviate some fears. Even rotten, decayed teeth won’t fall out, they have to be physically removed.
NHS treatment is a price banding system so it’ll be £26.80 for emergency treatment then likely £73.50 if it’s a root canal or filling and maybe a prescription cost if it’s an abscess or similar. I appreciate if that out of reach but if you can do anything to afford it, it’s best to treat sooner than later before it gets worse and potentially more expensive.

How much NHS dental treatment costs

Find out about NHS dental costs and what’s included in each of the 3 bands of charges.

www.nhs.uk

Dental pain is the absolute worst, I remember having two abscesses getting pushed between the dentist and a&e and thinking I’d rather not live than have that pain everyday, I totally get it. But, please be careful with painkillers, you can damage your liver at the dose you’ve taken. If you’ve taken more than 8 in 24hrs you should call 111.

Thank you I’m just being silly I know with the feeling they are going to fall out, think lack of sleep & being in pain has heightened it more for me, I will ring 111 see if they can help & pluck up the courage to see a dentist, my own fault for putting it off for so long,

 

[Former_Antelopee]

Just tell the truth. As somebody in management it's so annoying when people tell you half truths. Because you can't "fix" problems if you don't actually know what is happening.
So you think you are fixing something but actually the root cause of the problem was not X it was Z. Now I've also wasted time and am angry and it looks bad on the employee who weren't honest.

The thing is, and I know I've said it before, Managers do get angry and annoyed. We are only human. But we are also grateful that you tell the truth. It's far worse when there are lies and we have to waste time getting to the bottom of it. And trust me, we also find out what has actually happened.

Yeah I could've just ignored it as he didn't come to me but I went and asked to make sure it was done but turns out I couldn't then do it (kind of it's partly done but not how it should've have been done). It shouldn't cause any long term issue and there have been worse issues not properly dealt with. It's just I know that with his issues before I'm thinking they might bring it up. I'll be waiting for an email next week now. Just happened to be the worst manager for it to happen with as well