The advice thread for random problems #6

[aouc23]

[May be TMI for some]

On Saturday evening, I started experiencing cramping in on the left side of my pelvis. I didn’t think much of it as I usually get minor ovulation cramps which go away after a day or two.

However, this time, the pain has gotten progressively worse as time went on. It’s so painful to the point where it’s all I think about and I can barely walk. I took some ibuprofen but it only reduces the pain for an hour or so only for it to come back again.

I normally don’t even experience period cramps, so I’m literally confused as to why ovulation cramps would come out of nowhere like this.

I’m not sure if it’s a random occurrence or a ruptured cyst but it’s really debilitating. Has anyone experienced this before?

do you have the copper coil fitted? I experience something similar but have been told after tests it’s likely that my body just no longer agrees with the coil. Area of pain is largely the pelvis area also. The only tests were visual to check the coil is in the right place and a scan which didn’t show anything.. not sure if there’s other ways to diagnose a potential condition?

 

[Snippysnips]

Random problem - I am being cyber stalked by someone or maybe even a group of people

I think the only thing you can really do in that situation is to block them all an make sure you lock down everything, take away the option to search for you, an temporarily change profile pics an names just for a short while so they don't know what your new profile pic an name is, make sure you email an number is hidden completely an if possible take away your number so it's not up there as a option to search for you from it

Unfortunately if you have made yourself easy to find in the first place then it is going to be hard to then unhide yourself

 

[BabeTakeTwo]

I don't think they have the chance to have a wake up call (again), that's why I feel bad I bought his name into it

Have you spoken to your colleague about what happened? If you both went to the Manager to explain..

It sounds like they are on borrowed time then... They should be really doing everything, but everything by the book.

I know easy for me to say on a forum, but from how you initially explained what happened I don't feel you can blame yourself - easier said then done I know at times.

 

[Snippysnips]

Me too, it actually makes me anxious, they leave my stuff in the most random places. I’ve complained & complained to Amazon but nothing has been done.

They put one of my parcels one day inside my bin, it had been emptied that morning but I was like what the hell, but usually it's stuffed between the wall and plant pot but in the pot so my poor little tree is wrecked by them

 

[Mamacita]

I call BS. I have two cats that use my garden (and possibly others) and they have not destroyed my plants.

Cat's don't like things like citrus, mint etc. So she can put olbas oil on tea bags, citrus peelings, pepermint oil, mint plants etc. Personally I think its on her to do something if she has such a problem. Cats roam and they have a right to, I would not be keeping my cat in because of this.

Tell her you've offered options, if it bothers her that much she should take some action.

I don't know like, it's a bit harsh to say it's on her. It's a hard one because yeah the owner can't exactly ask the cat not to do that but it's pretty annoying spending a lot of money on your garden and it being destroyed. We have neighbours cats in the garden all the time, have dug our plants out before and keep shitting in the middle of the garden and nothing stops them. Then one keeps peeing on our doormat bought a new one and cleaned the area with citrus stuff and he's back pissing on it and it stinks again. What can you do? I have cats myself but they don't go outside and tbh i think it should be on owners of outdoor cats to contain them.

In this situation it does seem a bit exaggerated as hard to believe one cat would cause that much damage so I'd try and get evidence of some sort.

 

[Snippysnips]

Any experts on teenagers here? I have a 15 year old daughter, totally addicted to her phone, not doing revision for her Mocks, not meeting friends, nothing. Just in her room on her phone. I have to remind her to shower, do her normal homework etc. I'm at the point now where I want to take her phone from her completely. I've tried limiting it but I find it hard to manage as she sneaks it or I will forget because I'm busy with other stuff or my other children. I'm ashamed to say that it is half term here and apart from the day I took her to the wildlife park with her siblings she has spent every morning, noon and night on her phone in her room. I see her at meal times only.

It's worth nothing that my daughter is very happy girl, always smiling. She is autistic and needs lots of support, e.g. she is still unable to do her own hair, get to places alone and doesn't really like conversations unless she's asking for something.

I wish I'd never bought the phone but she has always struggled to fit in so it was for that and to contact friends (which she never does).

Definitely sounds like addiction which when it comes to phones you don't really think is a thing but anything in excess can be classed as additions, have you tried limiting how long she can have on it an setting passwords up for it that she won't know?

I don't know what phone it is but on mine in the settings it's called digital wellbeing and parental controls, it allows me to basically shut the phone off at certain times or after so long on it, of course you can sort of bypass this as clicking on anything when it's shut down gives you the option to "use for 5 minutes" but it's still worth looking into, also apps themselves can be shut down after so long on them or at certain times like Facebook which are harder to bypass when set

Personally taking the phone off her isn't going to help, like you say there's times you forget an times she will sneak away with it, so just taking it off her might result in arguments, if you are able maybe talk with her school or gp about therapy, I work in therapy an we actually see a lot of kids/teens with phone/gaming addictions, it's not their fault, phones an consoles are so easy to spend hours on an get lost in time with, especially phones that you can be endlessly scrolling on, so I'd definitely look into some type of support to help break the habit for her, it can be very damaging to their mental health if they are "doom scrolling' all day

 

[Mamacita]

Thanks, a face lift sounds a bit extreme as I’m only in early 30s

Yeah too early for that, I'm in a similar situation btw, I have very pronounced nasolabial folds so looked into this quite a bit and the conclusion was facelift definitely is the only treatment that would properly sort it. I hope I can afford to get a mini facelift in my 40s or something! For now focusing on skincare and yeah maybe a bit of massage etc can help a little.

I also notice that the side I sleep on is worse so gonna try sleep more on my back

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

I have a friend who is asking whether their tenancy agreement is valid. The tenancy is an ast and has been signed by the landlord and tenant however the address part wasn’t filled so it is blank. Is the tenancy agreement still valid?

I think it is still valid:

Understanding your tenancy agreement in England

Check what terms can be in your tenancy agreement. Check documents your landlord needs to give you and what counts as an unfair agreement.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk

---

I think it is still valid, however, they MUST provide their own address.

Understanding your tenancy agreement in England

Check what terms can be in your tenancy agreement. Check documents your landlord needs to give you and what counts as an unfair agreement.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I’ve had a response from the storage company, they’ve admitted that they didn’t send the email out regarding the price increase & it was a ‘technical issue’ I shouldn’t of have 2 increases so close together, as a goodwill gesture they are refunding me this months payment, then reducing the insurance I pay as I don’t need 6k so it’s going to 2k instead, I’m now hopefully going to be paying just over £48 a month which is a lot better, they have also waivered the £10 cleanup fee if I choose to leave (knew nothing of this until today so yet another charge on top they’ve probably made up) but overall I’m happy with that. Thanks for the replies

I’m so happy for you. Good for sticking up for yourself

 

[bozlem3080]

MONTHLY inspections of communal areas and rooms? That’s insane and a huge invasion of privacy. What does your contract say? If it’s not in there, I’d be telling them to do one.

They are saying it’s in line with council regulations, so does that mean that every council house/housing association property is also inspected?

I can understand the communal area as we all share it but my room is private, I just wish I could afford somewhere else I really do.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Spilled CC red corrector on a jumper this morning. I love the jumper, just bought it and only wore it once plus it was £45 I sprayed some pink stuff on it and then put it in a wash. It's still there, looks like a bird did a poop all down the front.
Any advice on cleaning it? I'm waiting for it to dry and will then try some micellar water and see if it goes

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I don't know the full context obviously but I am prone to similar behaviour when I'm tense, so I'll try to give my two cents. I might ramble so it's under spoiler.

Spoiler

Nitpicking and overly criticising others can be a way to try and regain control, especially when other things are spiraling. Anxiety and general restlessness is a terrible trigger of mine for acting like this, because I know I can't do much about the actual thing that's causing me stress, so I become a horror for everything else (cleaning, others' harmless habits, signs of weakness in people, noise, bad manners, etc.) Small offenders on their own, or just non-issues, but they become a nightmare to me if I'm anxious or overstimulated.

My advice is choosing a calm, preferably solitary moment to reflect on what's bothering you about him, actual problems that he can fix but doesn't, or just personal quirks that you didn't mind much before? If things aren't that big a deal when you're not in close proximity, you might try and find a way to unsee/unhear it until this phase is over.

For stuff like noise, visual annoyance etc. from others, I just find it easier to remove myself from the situation. Watching something engaging, earplugs, earphones, changing rooms, listening to something that you like, gaming... The point is directing your attention away from the point of irritation so it fades into the background. When your mind stops fixating on it, your tension will diminish too.

If there are some things that you genuinely think he needs to work at, choosing a less rocky time to discuss them is probably better. He must feel on edge now, αs are you. The important thing is you are aware of this and trying to find a solution. I don't know if this was helpful but good luck!

That was super helpful and exactly how I’m triggered too. It’s all about controlling what I can because the “stressful” situation is out of our hands.
The removing myself is a great idea and I’ll try it

 

[Bobbleowl90]

More an opinion I’m asking for rather than advice..

Been off work all week but back in today as my annual leave allowance doesn’t stretch too far a senior member of staff saw me at my desk and remarked that he had just sent me an email (it was before my official log in time, hadn’t turned my out of office off) and I explained I’d been off but was in today, and back on leave next week. “You might as well keep the out of office on then. No point turning it off”

I took no offence but apparently another colleague pulled him up on this and said there’s no need to talk to me like that. They described it as not being very nice to me.

Am I thick and not realising someone’s being an arse to me, or is the other person being too sensitive? How would you have taken this?

 

[littlepup]

Hi, sorry if this is really random just couldn’t find anywhere else to post!! I have had to order this bridesmaid dress in a size 14 when I need a 10/12 but as the 10 and 12 aren’t coming back in stock and I’m panicking as the wedding is in August, any one know if it is an easy just to bring in a chiffon dress ot will probably be the shoulder and round the bust and waist that will need bringing in?

I’m not sure re the alterations but Six stories told us the one we wanted would be out of stock for at least 6 weeks, if it came back at all, it came in within 7 days.
You can often find them second hand on Vinted too so maybe after May/June weddings some will become available.

IIRC that specific dress is lined and stretchy which I think may make it more tricky to adjust but the ruching would probably hide alterations. They’re really long too, ours all need taking up but it’s a really flattering dress.

 

[BabeTakeTwo]

Fed up, like genuinely fed up. My poor son has been waiting 11 weeks for an operation, its scheduled for thursday morning, he has come down with a cold. Im gutted for him, he is 15, he has autism and a CVL line as he had cancer treatment.

I so sad for you and your son. I had to look up CVL - that's serious stuff you've got going on.

Do you have plenty of support around you, those you can talk to? Has the hospital ruled out the surgery not happening...

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I seem to have developed some kind of gum/mouth infection which started with a couple of painful ulcers. It’s really getting me down because I can’t eat properly and medicated mouthwash doesn’t seem to be doing much. There’s no point in making a doctor’s appointment (assuming I could even get one) because they’ll tell me to go to the dentist. I do have a hygienist appointment in a couple of weeks but that will be £175 and I can’t really afford two visits in one month. I’ve started rinsing with salt water but if anyone has any other suggestions I’d be eternally grateful.

Do you have a local walk-in centre? We have one at our hospital. They should help you if you have an infection

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Here's a random thing.

Nice looking work shoes for conferences, office days, etc - something that balances a nice elegant style with comfort. I have the Clarks Pure Tone (below) in a load of colours but want something perhaps a bit more ballerina style, or even a small heel. Has anyone tried the Vivaia shoes? They look great but so expensive.

View attachment 3575399

I’ve got some dune ones that are super comfortable and in leather. Not sure if they still do ballerinas

 

[BettyRose]

Anyone know anywhere reputable (on high street or online) where I can get an old family VHS put onto a DVD/disk/memory stick? X

I had some Video8's converted to memory stick by these guys, https://digitalconverters.co.uk/product/convert-videotapes

Would definitely recommend.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I've just gotten over it, I use the lemsip cold an flu tablets, it doesn't actually get rid of it but I find especially with the night ones it lessons the aches an gives me a chance at a better night sleep so speeds up the process with feeling better

As for eating an drinking I take in more water an I try to keep my eating as normal as I can, even when I cannot face cooking I force myself just so am still keeping a good diet, while junk food feels like the easy choice you feel worse in the long run with it

Hot showers/baths as well, steam does wonders for the stuffyness

Hope you feel better soon

It’s the achy stuffy face that’s keeping me awake. Even my teeth are aching.
I will get some lemsip and see if it helps

 

[petitspois]

Any experts on teenagers here? I have a 15 year old daughter, totally addicted to her phone, not doing revision for her Mocks, not meeting friends, nothing. Just in her room on her phone. I have to remind her to shower, do her normal homework etc. I'm at the point now where I want to take her phone from her completely. I've tried limiting it but I find it hard to manage as she sneaks it or I will forget because I'm busy with other stuff or my other children. I'm ashamed to say that it is half term here and apart from the day I took her to the wildlife park with her siblings she has spent every morning, noon and night on her phone in her room. I see her at meal times only.

It's worth nothing that my daughter is very happy girl, always smiling. She is autistic and needs lots of support, e.g. she is still unable to do her own hair, get to places alone and doesn't really like conversations unless she's asking for something.

I wish I'd never bought the phone but she has always struggled to fit in so it was for that and to contact friends (which she never does).

It's really difficult. Do you know what kind of thing she is doing on her phone? chat rooms? games? my first thought would be to suggest you all put your phones away for a few hours each night and do something as a family like a walk or a film or board game and keep it up for a month and see if there's any difference? that way she can still have her phone but less.

Every single thing I see about teens recommends to take their phone off them at bedtime too. I succeeded with one and failed with the other so I can't talk!