The advice thread for random problems #6

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

Can you keep him in again for a few weeks and not tell her and tell her to let you know if he carries on doing it in the next few weeks as you've made some changes hoping he'll stop going elsewhere to go to the toilet. Then if she complains you can say well he hasn't been outside since I spoke to you

I think it will be my last-resort option - firstly because he's a cat who absolutely loves sunbathing on the patio, being in and out, and he's lucky enough that our garden(s) are within a courtyard and therefore safe from traffic etc. It's a lovely life for him. Secondly, I get the feeling that once I keep him in she'll ever accept me letting him out again - I think that's her end goal, she's moaned about cats (mine and others) here and there over many years.

Has she asked you to do anything about it?
Often times older people with nothing to do just wants to be social and it can take the form of moaning about things.
Maybe engage with her a little also ask her to take some photo evidence when she catches your cat in the act.

She hasn't asked outright but has said 'she's desperate' and has insisted she's spent 400 quid on plants (I have seen absolutely no difference/nothing being added or brought in - we share a drive). I also just don't physically understand how one cat can produce enough wee each day to destroy a garden that is about half an acre! She seems to just want him inside but won't outright ask for it. She also seems disappointed when I offer solutions like bird nets, curry powder, even sonic repellers etc.

 

[JoeBloggs]

I think it will be my last-resort option - firstly because he's a cat who absolutely loves sunbathing on the patio, being in and out, and he's lucky enough that our garden(s) are within a courtyard and therefore safe from traffic etc. It's a lovely life for him. Secondly, I get the feeling that once I keep him in she'll ever accept me letting him out again - I think that's her end goal, she's moaned about cats (mine and others) here and there over many years.



She hasn't asked outright but has said 'she's desperate' and has insisted she's spent 400 quid on plants (I have seen absolutely no difference/nothing being added or brought in - we share a drive). I also just don't physically understand how one cat can produce enough wee each day to destroy a garden that is about half an acre! She seems to just want him inside but won't outright ask for it. She also seems disappointed when I offer solutions like bird nets, curry powder, even sonic repellers etc.

I call BS. I have two cats that use my garden (and possibly others) and they have not destroyed my plants.

Cat's don't like things like citrus, mint etc. So she can put olbas oil on tea bags, citrus peelings, pepermint oil, mint plants etc. Personally I think its on her to do something if she has such a problem. Cats roam and they have a right to, I would not be keeping my cat in because of this.

Tell her you've offered options, if it bothers her that much she should take some action.

 

[NowIsGood]

Found a small chip in mum's car windscreen. We're with direct line, if I claim a fix through the insurance could it cause a rise in premium come renewal?

 

[JoeBloggs]

Found a small chip in mum's car windscreen. We're with direct line, if I claim a fix through the insurance could it cause a rise in premium come renewal?

They say no, I've had four claims in the last few years and can't say it has but renewals have been all over the place so hard to say for sure.

 

[NowIsGood]

They say no, I've had four claims in the last few years and can't say it has but renewals have been all over the place so hard to say for sure.

Thanks! She's never claimed for anything before and has very low insurance (old small car), so am curious to see what happens lol!

 

[saltandvinegarcrisps]

Found a small chip in mum's car windscreen. We're with direct line, if I claim a fix through the insurance could it cause a rise in premium come renewal?

I had a chip repaired on insurance last year, renewed at a lower rate through same insurance company this year.

 

[NowIsGood]

I had a chip repaired on insurance last year, renewed at a lower rate through same insurance company this year.

I like the sound of that!

 

[Mamacita]

I call BS. I have two cats that use my garden (and possibly others) and they have not destroyed my plants.

Cat's don't like things like citrus, mint etc. So she can put olbas oil on tea bags, citrus peelings, pepermint oil, mint plants etc. Personally I think its on her to do something if she has such a problem. Cats roam and they have a right to, I would not be keeping my cat in because of this.

Tell her you've offered options, if it bothers her that much she should take some action.

I don't know like, it's a bit harsh to say it's on her. It's a hard one because yeah the owner can't exactly ask the cat not to do that but it's pretty annoying spending a lot of money on your garden and it being destroyed. We have neighbours cats in the garden all the time, have dug our plants out before and keep shitting in the middle of the garden and nothing stops them. Then one keeps peeing on our doormat bought a new one and cleaned the area with citrus stuff and he's back pissing on it and it stinks again. What can you do? I have cats myself but they don't go outside and tbh i think it should be on owners of outdoor cats to contain them.

In this situation it does seem a bit exaggerated as hard to believe one cat would cause that much damage so I'd try and get evidence of some sort.

 

[JoeBloggs]

I don't know like, it's a bit harsh to say it's on her. It's a hard one because yeah the owner can't exactly ask the cat not to do that but it's pretty annoying spending a lot of money on your garden and it being destroyed. We have neighbours cats in the garden all the time, have dug our plants out before and keep shitting in the middle of the garden and nothing stops them. Then one keeps peeing on our doormat bought a new one and cleaned the area with citrus stuff and he's back pissing on it and it stinks again. What can you do? I have cats myself but they don't go outside and tbh i think it should be on owners of outdoor cats to contain them.

In this situation it does seem a bit exaggerated as hard to believe one cat would cause that much damage so I'd try and get evidence of some sort.

Cat owners have no obligation to contain their cats, I would certainly never do that to my own.

My point is, this woman isn’t prepared to accept the options the cat owner has offered. If you’re not prepared to try then it’s on you to accept the situation.

 

[Mamacita]

Cat owners have no obligation to contain their cats, I would certainly never do that to my own.

My point is, this woman isn’t prepared to accept the options the cat owner has offered. If you’re not prepared to try then it’s on you to accept the situation.

Yeah she can try those solutions but for some cats they don't work at all. My neighbours have the noise repeller and cats just chill next to it fine i understand legally they have no obligation to contain cats but i don't agree that’s how it should be.

 

[Chocolategoggler]

Years ago my house was surrounded by cat owners and the cats used my garden as a toilet.
I was told that cats don't tit on their own doorstep. I ended up having a word with the cats, which only resulted in them hurling themselves at the fences the minute they saw me.
They had driven away all my visitors, as they used to launch themselves from the bins the other side of the fence onto the lawn (which is raised up). Naturally this used to give my visitors a heart attack to hear a bang and see this lump sailing over their heads
I tried all the repellers but they got used to them, and in particular a grey cat used to go up to them, sniff, and then turn and look at me arrogantly.
At that point I gave up. It was a war I wasn't going to win. My cat loving brother thought I'd gone a bit deranged by this point. Talking to the cats would have just intimidated some of them, by staring in their eyes. He got me a book on cats.
Then all the cat owners moved and I'm now surrounded by dogs. As I live on a new housing estate we all live on top of each other.The dogs are very territorial, so if I'm out in my garden there's usually a dog snarling behind a fence or worse trying to smash the fence down to kill me.
They bark all the time, so I have to listen to neighbours yelling to shut that f*****g dog up or else they'll do it for them. Then the usual replies from the owner........

I've started to miss the cats and I'd even put up with them using my garden as a toilet.

At least the cats were funny. There's nothing funny about the dogs.

 

[Magwitch]

Yeah she can try those solutions but for some cats they don't work at all. My neighbours have the noise repeller and cats just chill next to it fine i understand legally they have no obligation to contain cats but i don't agree that’s how it should be.

How do you contain an outdoor cat though? It's impossible, unless you just keep them indoors, which would be very cruel for a cat that is used to roaming. I had an indoor cat for years when we lived in a city. He was much-loved and had a nice life, until we lost him at nearly 21. It was only when we moved to the countryside that I realised how much he loved being outside and was hit with a massive load of guilt. He was too old to roam much but loved lying out in the sun and fresh air and prowling round the garden, bless him. Cats are natural roamers and predators. And, yes, indoor cats can of course be healthy and happy, but it is not a natural state of being for them, no matter how much we might tell ourselves it is.

Our neighbour has four outdoor cats. Yes, they do scratch around the beds a bit sometimes, but that's nothing compared to what the local wildlife do. The badgers absolutely devastate our borders, plus the wild ducks scratching around for grubs and so on. Not to mention the time three cows got in from the field and trampled all over. Our lawn has never recovered! I understand full well how frustrating it is for gardeners, but the way I see it I share 'my' outdoor space with all the local animals, including the domesticated ones next door, so I suck it up. It's their space too.

 

[Mamacita]

How do you contain an outdoor cat though? It's impossible, unless you just keep them indoors, which would be very cruel for a cat that is used to roaming. I had an indoor cat for years when we lived in a city. He was much-loved and had a nice life, until we lost him at nearly 21. It was only when we moved to the countryside that I realised how much he loved being outside and was hit with a massive load of guilt. He was too old to roam much but loved lying out in the sun and fresh air and prowling round the garden, bless him. Cats are natural roamers and predators. And, yes, indoor cats can of course be healthy and happy, but it is not a natural state of being for them, no matter how much we might tell ourselves it is.

Our neighbour has four outdoor cats. Yes, they do scratch around the beds a bit sometimes, but that's nothing compared to what the local wildlife do. The badgers absolutely devastate our borders, plus the wild ducks scratching around for grubs and so on. Not to mention the time three cows got in from the field and trampled all over. Our lawn has never recovered! I understand full well how frustrating it is for gardeners, but the way I see it I share 'my' outdoor space with all the local animals, including the domesticated ones next door, so I suck it up. It's their space too.

Catios and cat proofed gardens. I get that we share space with wildlife but cats are pets, not wildlife. While i know some cats that are used to going out might not be able to become and indoor cat, i don't agree with cats absolutely having to go outside. I prefer to have a safe indoor cat than one who might have a very exiciting but very short life. It's just a difference of opinions. I don't think it's a natural state for cats to be run over by cars or injured by stupid kids like it happens to many cats in my neighbourhood locally. But understand some people will have a different opinion on this and would prefer their cat go outside despite the risks.

 

[Snippysnips]

I don't own a cat but for the cats sake I wish people would just keep them indoors, I think years ago it was probably fine an safer for the cat, but now a days not so much, people I find get angrier more these days an I've had neighbours/family tell me that their cat have been intentionally run over or been shot with a BB gun because another neighbours tolerance has run out

Access the road from me had a 2 ginger cats I used to cat sit at times, but one of them took a liking to going across the road on the other side into the neighbours front garden an doing the toilet, she complained numerous times since her young kids played there an there was always cat toilet in it, it also kept digging at her little trees, eventually her tolerance ran out an while there's no proof she run the younger ginger cat over, the timing of it happening made us realise that it was probably her that done it since she'd always come down the road at that time an its a quiet street it was such a sweet little cat too

My cousin's cat also got shot with a BB gun, we don't know by who but he had also had complaints before it happened, my family now keep cats indoors

An then a while back someone in town was purposely going round trying run cats over for the sake of it, a lot were injured an some killed, people these days are just sick, it's really not safe anymore

 

[HelloStereo]

I want to word this sensitively but could he be projecting because he wants to end the friendship type relationship you two have? Is he seeing someone?

I really wouldn’t take it to heart, any ‘friend’ who thinks the conversation isn’t worth their time isn’t worth yours.

I just wanted to come back to say you were spot on with this. I heard through a mutual friend that not only is he seeing someone but she's also pregnant . No wonder he decided that we "didn't add anything to each other's lives anymore" so abruptly.

 

[T-time]

I just wanted to come back to say you were spot on with this. I heard through a mutual friend that not only is he seeing someone but she's also pregnant . No wonder he decided that we "didn't add anything to each other's lives anymore" so abruptly.

What an mole. You don't need that kind off energy in your life.

 

[HelloStereo]

What an mole. You don't need that kind off energy in your life.

100%, I blocked / removed him from everything when he said I lacked self reflection and was wondering what benefit we bring to each other's lives. It's just a complete mole move to make someone think there's something wrong with them when really it's because you've dug yourself too deep into a lie and can't bring yourself to come clean.

It's someone who up until last month kept trying to chance their arm with me too.

 

[JoeBloggs]

100%, I blocked / removed him from everything when he said I lacked self reflection and was wondering what benefit we bring to each other's lives. It's just a complete mole move to make someone think there's something wrong with them when really it's because you've dug yourself too deep into a lie and can't bring yourself to come clean.

It's someone who up until last month kept trying to chance their arm with me too.

100% but I’m glad you now know the truth and they are out of your life!

 

[HelloStereo]

100% but I’m glad you now know the truth and they are out of your life!

Thank you . Better late than never finding out the truth and realising it wasn't really me all along, it was all about them.

 

[HankMcPrank]

10 weeks 5 days pregnant, nausea after my afternoon nap has been the worst. Snacking fresh air and water is helping but it comes in waves.