The advice thread for random problems #6

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Your GP needs to get it sorted. Ask to speak to a manager at the practice. It seems that they receptionist/medical secretary is just making you go round in circles. But also the Occupational therapist should be able to help. Here is a guide from the government

Taking sick leave

Fit notes (formerly sick notes), holiday during sick leave, returning to work, long-term sick, dismissals

www.gov.uk

 

[Darvos]

Any recommendations on a good washing machine that will do heavy loads like duvets an such, would be a bonus if the company took away the old one and fitted the new one but it's not a big deal as I just want the washing machine itself

No model recs, sorry, but AO have consistently delivered really quickly (even at 8am on a Sunday once), installed and taken old white goods away with the packaging from the new. Different services have additional costs unless there’s an offer on, but when a washer dies I want to cry, so it costs what it costs to get a new one in and installed and the old one taken away.
You might have a local independent that does a really good job so ask nearby too. Good luck.

 

[DoubleEntendre]

Is anyone trying to sell a house? Is the market just rubbish at the moment?
Been on 5 weeks, had 5 viewings in the first week and then nothing since.

I've been told that a lot of landlords are selling up right now, due to changes in legislation, and as a result the market has got very slow. Hopefully it will all sort itself out soon. I think larger properties in particular are proving very slow to move though. Sorry!

 

[T-time]

Entitled to sick pay at work. Had a day off done what I’m meant too called in etc valid reason. Haven’t been paid my sick day. not the first time they’ve messed up pay… it’s so draining and app no HR we can talk too

Are you sure you're intitled to sick pay? I've worked many jobs where the first sick day has no pay out. It should be stated in your contract.

 

[Shoequeen91]

Absolutely definitely 100% do things alone rather than wait for someone else, or with a group if you want to ease yourself in gently. Start off small, maybe an evening social event or a day trip somewhere. There are loads of girls social clubs popping up in bigger cities if you’re near or in one and they’re really great. You have the time and money now but you won’t always and you don’t want any regrets. Oh and there’s a solo travel thread if that interests you! TLDR: DO IT (apologies for the massive reply, I just feel so strongly about loving doing solo stuff!)

Thank you! I’m going to have a search for the solo travelling thread and do a bit of a search for groups in my area. You are right about me regretting stuff, I’m already starting to feel it.

 

[Bobbleowl90]

So I’ve been given an extremely generous gift by somebody at work today (above me but not my manager, paid for by themselves) as a thank you for my hard work. I feel awful as I haven’t bought them anything. I’ve expressed how thankful I am but of course want to buy something in return but I’m a bit socially awkward in this respect (find it so difficult to accept gifts, compliments, generosity and I’m not sure why) so don’t know how to do it/what to say. I thought I’d get them a board game to enjoy at new year (I won’t see them til after christmas now) with their child but wtf do I put on the note? I overthink everything

 

[HelloStereo]

100% but I’m glad you now know the truth and they are out of your life!

Thank you . Better late than never finding out the truth and realising it wasn't really me all along, it was all about them.

 

[Former_Antelopee]

Vote for Toyota here
I have an 07 Yaris and for the 9 years I've owned it it's been super reliable! In fact you still see so many 20+ year old Toyotas on the road because they just won't die! Something else to bare in mind is Toyotas have excellent resale value if you decide to sell down the line too
Have you considered a Yaris? A bit more expensive but they really are tardis cars, you can get so much in them and very roomy in the back for adults!

I used to have an old Yaris as well I would've kept it but it wasn't worth fixing in the end, it was 19/20 years old though. Luckily for me it passed it's MOT and then 'broke' the month after, it was still safe to drive so I drove it for 11 months without fixing it, it just wouldn't have passed the next MOT

 

[Jas28]

Not everyone will get along in life. As long as you are civil leave it at that.
If she is undermining you then you need to speak to HR but apart from that you cannot force somebody to like you or engage with you

I feel like that is something she would deffo do so I will keep high alert which is awful as why do I have to feel unsafe at work as though someone is out to get you. If someone can have issue with you over nothing then imagine if you actually did have an issue what would she do. She’s already made jokes about sabotaging someone before and I personally won’t be leaving even a drink unattended near her. I’ve also seen her snooping through my work when she’s not my supervisor so shouldn’t be, probably trying to catch me out on something. I don’t know where she makes the time to do that when we are so busy. Just exhausting why I must stay so vigilant, it’s draining. Also I don’t need her to like me, but you would at least not make it obvious that you dislike someone for not reason at work and be civil. And not including someone at work is a form of hostile behaviour though

 

[allthingschocolate]

My daughter was supposed to have a beauty treatment this evening and the lady cancelled this morning because she was poorly with a sickness bug, of course this cannot be helped and I’m glad she told us my issue is she has been promoting said treatment on her page this evening and has been responding to comments, in my opinion this doesn’t add up! As I think if I were that unwell the last thing I would think of doing is this, am I overreacting or is this a bit odd? I’m not sure what to think? She offered to rebook for 2 days time and I’ve said I will let her know fortunately I didn’t pay anything

 

[Snippysnips]

Has anyone bought stuff off Amazon an its had a voucher option displayed on it? I need new units an they have a 30% voucher option I can click on for all of them, there's nothing else that I can see that explains why am getting it, just wondering if there's a catch to them that am not seeing, it's bringing my total from £249 to £99, which seems like a great buy but I also don't want to be unknowingly signing up to something I can't get out of, I've never seen these voucher options before on anything previous I've bought

 

[Ravenstown]

It’s definitely that and not labyrinthitis, is it?

 

[Magwitch]

Oh, now i get it and I think it actually sounds verrry nice. Close to a village but not inside the village would be right up my alley as well. My personal concern would be about the utilities, especially water as otherwise you'll have to do a lot of water management for freshwater and also likely periodically get wastewater removed. It seems though someone has been living there already so maybe this part is known and taken care of.
Idk, I'd also think about it and I really don't think it's crazy. Especially if you are looking to change something from the regular rat race and also have the means to do it.

I live rurally, no mains utilities, and it’s fine, but the OP should look into waste management because new laws have been put in place in the last few years. We had to convert our old septic tank with a water treatment system and it cost thousands.

 

[chickhicks86]

I need to think of a gift for a 95 year old man and I’m absolutely stumped! He can’t read or write anymore, he doesn’t know how to use any tech, he’s not allowed any sweet treats and he’s in a nursing home so can’t give him a gift card as he doesn’t leave he doesn’t want filler stuff as he says it’s more clutter for others to clear when he dies (cheery I know!) I’m thinking maybe something to make his time there more comfortable/enjoyable, or maybe something to pass the time? Help!

What's your budget? What about a foodie type subscription (brownies or something?) that he can look forward to for a few months.

 

[L1fe0nM@rs]

Thanks, a face lift sounds a bit extreme as I’m only in early 30s

Try to avoid invasive treatments as you’ll end up making it worse. Face yoga is brilliant and works quickly as do radio frequency / microcurrent type facials. And a decent skin care routine - doesn’t have to be expensive but give yourself a little lymphatic massage morning and evening.

 

[Pesky Tarian]

10 weeks 5 days pregnant, nausea after my afternoon nap has been the worst. Snacking fresh air and water is helping but it comes in waves.

Canada dry ginger ale is great (only thst brand though bizarrely). Hope you feel better soon.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

After some advice please if possible, I have a family meal booked tomorrow evening there’s 7 of us in total, the meal is for my teen kids birthday, I’ve already paid a deposit (£70) does this suggest that as I arranged it I should also pay the final bill? My parents have already said they aren’t expecting me too and have assumed that they would pay for there own meals, but I’m unsure about my brother, his wife & my niece, for perspective I am a single mom on a one income wage, whilst my pay isn’t horrendous i am unfortunately not in the financial position that my family members are in (flash cars, big houses, mortgage free etc) I wish I was in the position to pay it all , but my question is does it look bad if I don’t pay the full bill, Totally Expecting it not to be cheap, I also don’t drink alcohol and the rest of them do, what would others do in this situation?

You should've stated with the invitation that it's "pay-your-own-way". I do think that there might be some who are assuming the invitation included you paying. If I were you I'd phone up everyone and have the conversation before the meal. Not everyone might want to come and despite all their "flash cars" might not have as much disposable income as you think

 

[HoGi]

For those who are on good terms with their siblings, do you usually text them a ‘Happy New Year’ on the 1st?

I texted one sibling ‘happy new year’ and they responded back, but my other siblings didn’t send me anything. Those same siblings also forgot my birthday and only wished me a happy birthday days later.

I don’t know if I should bother wishing them a happy new year by text?

Didn't message my sister or my mum. I saw them 30th but didn't say anything 31st or 1st about new year and we didn't celebrate together.

 

[yogiessexdubs]

Am I being unreasonable?
My neighbour’s teenagers had a party last night (& this happens every so often, I’ve tried talking to the parents about the noise in general but did not go down well).
I spoke to my boyfriend last night when it was happening, am I wrong to feel slightly let down that he didn’t ask me to go over to stay there?
I was met with ‘oh no, can’t you wear ear plugs’ .. I get he could’ve been tired but we don’t live far from one another.

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

Sorry to be back for advice again already, but so very grateful to you Tattlers.

I'm trying to figure out if I am being overly anxious about a work mistake. I made a mistake that has caused me to have two panic attacks - one when I realised what I'd done, another now. I reached out to a former media partner about whether they're interested in our two upcoming events, and they responded keenly. What I didn't realise was that the lead of one of the events had vetoed their involvement (political stuff). I honestly can't remember if my boss had mentioned it before. I have a feeling she had and I've fucked up by mentioning that event to them.

Logically on the whole nothing has been agreed, I didn't even say in the email any kinds of terms or written agreements, just asked about their interest. The way I worded the email it would simply be easy to go 'great you're interested, let's go with event 1' and not even mention the other. I haven't told my boss I emailed them. I'm terrified. I honestly don't know what to do. I feel like there's a chance I can say nothing, not follow up, and my boss will reach out about the specific event when they're ready and I pretend nothing happened. They also could pop back up and ask what's going on.

I don't know if I'm overreacting - I received some worrying health news and life carries on around it, which is tough - and my anxiety is awful about it. Now I've gone back to work and I'm just a wreck. Not even about the health, that's the thing, I seem to be an absolute mess about work itself - am I performing ok, does my boss like me, is this a huge mistake that is going to get me fired etc.

I suppose what I'm asking for is general advice here. My GP isn't particularly helpful, I've spoken to him about anxiety and been given Google-worthy breathing exercises and told to go away. I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to go on - I just know how I am isn't sustainable.