The advice thread for random problems #4

[littlepup]

This is a charity for bereaved children. I’m not sure if any of this will help as it’s not exactly what your LO is going through but there are some resources here.

Information and Guidance | Nelson's Journey | Child Bereavement Help for Norfolk

nelsonsjourney.org.uk

We’ve had a few deaths recently and important people who passed before LO (now 3) came along.
We say they’ve gone to live heaven. We can’t visit them there but they are happy and healthy and it’s a wonderful place where they’re all together and they know we love them. We’ll eventually have to change it for a more factual policy but honestly I kind of believe the people and dogs do ‘live’ in heaven and heaven is a place in my heart and head where they stay.

I understand how hard it is though, even without a very sensitive soul. We have the discussion about how some things make you so poorly or are so dangerous they can make you so broken that you can’t be fixed. Which opens up a whole thing of ‘but you’re old mummy’ or ‘if I get sick can I be fixed?’ and it’s because you can’t promise.
I remember being terrified of my parents dying after fire safety at school and the threat of the gulf war and I wish actually we hadn’t been exposed to that. Can you think of any other external factors they might be taking on board that are increasing their fear or making them feel like there is an imminent risk? Jesus dying at Easter or something she’s watched?

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Hey all
I'm going to post as much as I can without giving too much away. A couple of years back I worked for a school within a Catholic trust (this may be relevant). today I had a letter claiming that the school has claimed a rebate so I need to pay back some tax for my time there. I checked my payslips and everything is on there. No one currently working seems to have one of these letters. It looks like a real letter and the number to call is for HMRC.
Edited to add: is this something companies can just do or is it because it's a church trust?

I dunno, this sounds suspect. I would phone HMRC and ask the questions

 

[chickhicks86]

Not sure if this is the right place to ask this - but what age do you stop giving presents to nieces / nephews? We have one that has turned 18 now, gave for their 18th birthday last year and the Christmas just gone, but is it the "done" thing to stop now? Don't want to be tight, but also we never get a "thank you" from this one!

 

[becca7721]

I will try Mind Cymru as there’s literally no other option for help, ideally I’d be able to get into their preferred room, shelter worker actually wasn’t part of mind (hard to distinguish what exactly their job is) or to Swansea to see the necessary housing specialist but those aren’t possible unfortunately. To be clear the room they want to see me in is in a hotel, nothing to do with mind or shelter, so they’re paying to see others there but expect me to pay in full elsewhere, I do accept I’d need to pay the top up (£10) but they say no must pay it all.

Confusing.

Anyway, thanks, I think I see a way forward now in that I’ll contact mind cymru for some advice and not mention discrimination just see what they advise.

You can get back to whatever conversation I interrupted now!

 

[Piff paff puff]

Bought a pack of laminate floor. Need 8 planks. Ordered a pack of 6. Should I cancel the order or pay for another pack for 2 planks?
I have a few planks leftover from my last room, same colour but they're less thickness and they probably won't click into a different brand.
I just don't want to pay nearly £50 for a 2 square metre porch

 

[Bobbleowl90]

I guess technically they can? Is the treatment you actually want the same price? Cause if it is and is done by the same person then they shouldn't have an issue

It’s £50 cheaper but done by the same person.

 

[Snippysnips]

Sounds like the seal as it should create enough of a seal when closed that to springs being dodgy wouldn’t allow it to be opened. How old are they?
Not to patronise but have you checked all around the seal so see if it’s perished anywhere?
It’ll be a job for an appliance specialist I’d have thought. Something around £50 for a call out then price dependant on the issue if it’s out of warranty. But there’s standard warranty then a standard life expectancy on an appliance so if it’s not too old you can still appeal to the manufacturer to help under goodwill.

House will be 14 in may so not overly old but probably out of warranty, guessing it's just wear an tear an because of the weight on it, it has it's door then the kitchen unit door on top so it all matches in to the kitchen so both doors are really bulky an heavy

Seal all still looks normal, the door does look like it's slipped down a touch so I don't know if that's what's causing it either

 

[Tommyb]

Sorry to change the topic but can anyone recommend some decent sport/soft bras that's are comfy and supportive?

 

[littlepup]

What happens when historic childhood sexual abuse is reported? It's not I who has reported

https://www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/rsa/rape-and-sexual-assault/what-happens-after-you-report-rape-or-sexual-assault/

Has anything come of the more recent allegations with the school?

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

Anyone had steroid injection in shoulder? Is it painful

I have them in my hip which I assume is probably a similar process. I don't find the injection itself too bad but it does hurt as the day goes on and the numbing agent wears off. It's sore for a couple of days after as well but easily sorted by over the counter pain relief.

 

[AshMay]

Hoping someone here knows the name of a backpack/handbag/purse brand…

I got a colleague for secret Santa in work and I know there’s a specific brand that she likes. She showed it to me one day and I remember thinking ‘should bookmark that in case I get her for secret Santa’ but obviously I didn’t so here I am!

I’m in my late 20s and remember this brand being around during my primary/secondary school days. It has very distinct branding, with black and purple tones and possible some sort of trees or cherry blossoms on? I am pretty sure it has a black haired young girl on it also, I’d consider it a kind of manga/anime inspired brand. They do backpacks, handbags, purses, pencil cases, coin pouches…. It’s the kind of thing I think would have been in Claire’s Accessories back in the day.

I’ve spent ages googling tonight but can’t find anything, I can almost picture it in my brain, I know once I see it I’ll recognise it….

The black haired girl made me think of Emily the Strange which I remember from when I was younger - but not sure about the trees! Just had to have a Google sesh myself as the name was bugging me!

 

[TheGlossy]

Amazon - No thanks.

Ridiculous that they are now delivering through An Post.

I was scheduled to receive 3 packages on Tuesday. The delivery person never rang at the door or contacted me on the phone. The following day I get a slip requiring me to go and collect these packages at the post office unit 15 minutes away.

I have a Prime membership yet I have to physically collect the packages because An Post doesn’t even attempt to deliver these packages! I canceled my Prime membership because if I have to collect these packages, I might as well go to the shops!

Not to mention, one product was supposed to have 6 units and I only received 5 of them. Waste of time.

 

[loveanatter]

Thank you, yes she knows they’ve died, I’m so sorry about you FIL x

she has a worry monster, but she’s a bit flash in the pan with these things. It’s more I think she’s a very sensitive and self reflective little thing because this started in nursery when they read a book about pets dying and all the other children shrugged and went off to play and she was left hyperventilating with the nursery worker like WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT DIED - WILL I DIE?!

I actually told her my old dog ran away as I couldn’t face telling her that it had died. I think I need to look at some resilience stuff for kids xx

Honestly google worry monster and see where you get as nursery and school use it as a thing. It might give you some ideas xxx

 

[becca7721]

Women’s aid may also be able to help. I know where I am they will do all they can to help. I know they’d be especially interested to hear about the need to pay; even if they cannot help it’s evidence of difficulty trying to get away.

 

[TheGlossy]

My UPS issue is still not resolved.

As UPS drivers are not allowed to call recipients during delivery, and my complex has no intercom or reception, I asked for the package to be delivered at a UPS pick-up point instead. I am unable to travel 1.5h to collect the package at their distribution center.

UPS rang me saying that because signature is required, they cannot deliver my package to a UPS pick-up point. I’m now stuck - they won’t deliver to a UPS pick-up point and they also won’t make contact if delivery is at my apartment.

What am I supposed to do here? What kind of nonsense is this? To say I paid another €10 of delivery fee to be dealing with this level of absurdity is beyond me.

 

[Piff paff puff]

For anyone who's used the home collection service for postage items with royal mail.
Is the stamp they attach separate from the address label? Can you have the stamp without the free address label?

 

[Snippysnips]

Is there a way to resize photos so that it fits as a windows 11 background, tried to put a photo as my background but it's so big that its cutting bits off, it's telling me I need windows pro to be able to customise which after just paying 1299 for the pc am not paying more for windows pro, I just want to be able to reduce the picture size so it fits better, I did open it with photos an resized it on there but it's not made a difference on my screen

Will I need to resize it on my phone then send it to the pc an do it that way?

 

[stargirl23]

I'm sure that there is a more appropriate place to post this - but we have just had the dreaded Universal Credit migration letter. Does anyone know if you still receive the "child element" of UC if one parent is working? Currently my partner works full time, I don't / can't work - we receive child tax credits and are entitled to working tax credits, but receive £0 due to earnings (a little over minimum wage but not much). Am panicing a bit!

No you won’t get child elements if you’re deemed as earning over the minimum wage and get 0 living allowance. As your partner works it’s classed as a joint claim unfortunately

 

[Beepboop1122]

Hi all, just found this thread and wasn’t sure where else to post as some of the work related advice threads seem to be abit dead. I accepted a new job back at the end of November and I’m still going through pre-employment checks so haven’t been able to agree a start date etc. I haven’t told my current job yet but the issue I am having is that my probation period with my current job will end on the 31st Jan. If I quit whilst still in probation, I only have to work 1 weeks notice but if I quit outside of probation, I have to work 2 months notice. Obviously I don’t want to work 2 months notice if I can help it but I also don’t want to hand in my notice until I actually know that I’ve passed all the checks for the new job and ideally have a start date. I also feel like the longer it goes on, the more guilty I feel about not telling my current job that I’m leaving as they keep talking to me about future work for later in the year. I get on well enough with my current manager but I wouldn’t say we’re massively friendly with each other. I just don’t know whether to bite the bullet and tell them I’m leaving or whether to continue to wait it out but I feel like I’m on abit of a ticking time bomb with the end of my probation fast approaching. Any advice??

 

[Moth]

Has anybody worked full time in the office and successfully managed to work from home instead? I’ve done the odd day from home in the past but I’d like to make it a permanent thing once a week. They’re really funny about working from home though and I don’t know what the best way is to request it. I want to be able to do at least one pick up and drop off a week now my eldest is in school and to work around that.

I think this explains everything you need to know ... https://www.acas.org.uk/making-a-flexible-working-request