The advice thread for random problems #4

[chickhicks86]

Tattlers I need your advice…

a few of my friends are about to have their first babies and I want to get them gifts.

a lot of the gift sets going feel very generic and samey?

what gifts did you guys *actually* enjoy/use when you had your babies?

they live a fair distance away so I’m not going to be able to pop round and help with dishes, unfortunately!

I'd have really appreciated something for when baby was older, you get so much stuff for newborn age, it's nice to have something for the future. I was quite picky with what clothes I put my little ones in, but something like a summer weight sleeping bag would be useful - https://www.adenandanais.co.uk/bedtime-baby-products-and-gifts/sleeping-bags . I loved all the stuff from this brand, the muslins and comfort blankets are still used now and my youngest is 10.

 

[Snippysnips]

Yeah my nephew was the same but he wasn’t able to climb the wooden stair gate as his feet kept sliding down but the standard stair gates were easier as he could grip his toes round the bars and climb over. Hopefully you’re able to sort something

Thanks, that's good to know they slide back down it if it's a non space, I was thinking she might be able to grip it somehow an pull herself over, it might be a all nighter tonight for me she's away home tomorrow so can have a early night then, just scared incase she makes her way downstairs or let's the pets out as they are chewers an will destroy every wire in the house lol

 

[Meg78]

She said you can use it until midnight tomorrow when it’ll be 21st as it has the 20th on the date they will still accept it on the day xx

You are an absolute legend! Thank you so much!

 

[tomato_paste]

I find the filler of the story is the most difficult part! I did a creative writing course through my local authority and it was very helpful. See if there is something similar in your area

Great idea, thanks for the tip! Do you write a lot? Any tips for getting that inner critic to shut up (at least for a while)?
---

Unfortunately am stuck with Google crome as it's the works computer, it must be something strange because it does it to me with Facebook as well, I have to post on the business account an where you write is really tiny that I can't really see what am typing I can only guess it's fine but everything else is massive, same with the FB messenger, if someone sends a message the profile pic part is huge an I've a tiny box with the message in it

Am guessing it's the settings on it but I've no idea what's been done as its always been like this for me so whoever before me has been the one to change it, but I've no idea what to do to change it back

Try reloading the whole page with ctrl + shift + R - that will do a complete reload.

Also check if you haven't accidentally zoomed in or out. Chrome should have an indicator in the address bar, it looks like a magnifying glass. Ctrl + mousewheel or ctrl + + or - key on the numpad will also allow you to set your zoom level.

 

[House of Tea]

Does anyone know where I can get this type of thing from in the UK? They sell it everywhere in the USA


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The closest I can find is this from B&Q


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Perhaps people that sell shop fittings might have something similar?

 

[littlepup]

Those who’ve experienced chickenpox - how did it start? My little one has some red blister type raised spots on his shoulder and towards the centre of his back. Probably about 15 spots. Does this sound like chickenpox?

We got off lightly over all but the shoulders and center of the back was where it started. Quickly spread into their hair, tops of legs & arms, side of face and genitals by the next day but didn’t spread further.
Looked like this to start then scabbed over.

 

[tomato_paste]

What would you do with old broken computers that still have your data on them? I want to recycle them but won't the company access my data while they're destroying it from the hard drive?

The sledgehammer idea, while funny, definitely has merit. One thing you can do is tear the computer apart, take out the harddrive, and recycle the rest. If it still turns on, you can wipe the drive with a tool like CCleaner which will run over the whole disk flipping all bits to 0. This is especially important for HDDs - Fragmentation often meant you could recover bits of data from disk sectors that were set as "free for overwrite" that weren't yet overwritten.

You can do the same (overwriting everything) for SSDs as well.

Or you can smash them to bits

 

[Lollylaylow]

Would it be the age of the car? In the UK MOTs are only required on cars over 3 years old

No, I'm only looking at old cheaper cars. Im poor

 

[Snippysnips]

When I suffered with frequent UTI’s I always found it helpful telling reception because I would get seen sooner with a nurse rather than a GP or just get antibiotics over the phone. So I think they ask to see if you need to see a DR, over the phone or a nurse. I’ve never had to speak to a male though, although it’s embarrassing they’ve probably heard all sorts and don’t get phased by anything anymore

Thanks, I guess I never seen it that way, at mine if you need a nurse you have to go through a doctor's appointment first, am not sure why that is, but maybe they ask because of it, I suppose I just prefer not telling them anything lol, the ones at mine are kindi the gossip type, there's been times I've sat an heard about other people so I'd rather they didn't get anything from me

 

[stargirl23]

Thank you very much x

Best of luck xx

 

[Moth]

After an incident involving police and a neighbour and me ending up in a state and being taken by police to place of safety (which wasn’t but that’s another story) the police spoke to my landlord about my situation, as they’re concerned for my safety, given the only options I have are to go back to DV or the street.

The landlord has told the police, council housing (who told them to evict in the first place!) and charity housing worker that they are not going to evict as we are are so close.

BUT

They won’t put this in writing and refuse to confirm this is the case to me - bearing in mind they’ve already tried to force me out by changing the locks (Christmas night when they thought I’d gone away along with everyone else in building) and my notice ends in days. I’ve also been told I must pay all costs including bailiffs for eviction. I can’t register with housing as their website won’t work on my old device (so they told me to use my phone to access it - my phone being a specialist adapted phone that doesn’t do online) because the council are paperless so there’s no other way.

I’ve been told I’m being paranoid and overthinking about my landlord (had police around again) and the incident. I’m not blaming police to be clear.

Am I being paranoid expecting this in writing? I finally got an advocate and therapist for hoarding but that’s on hold right now due to mental health being so poor.

Bit confused. You said the landlord told the police that they won't evict you but also that your notice ends in days and that you've been told that you must pay the landlord's costs of evicting you.

Re. costs of eviction, if you stay beyond the end of your notice period and the landlord has to get an Order of Possession (which is the court telling you to leave) or even a Warrant of Possession (which the court making you leave) you will probably be told by the court to pay the landlords costs for those legal actions.

Which council are you trying to register with?

 

[Snippysnips]

They’re allowed to ask but you’re not obliged to disclose anything to them. You’re within your rights to say it’s a personal matter and they’re not allowed to decline you an appointment because of it. They’re not medically trained at all so don’t need to know

Thanks, I usually do decline but then all they will give is a phone appointment which my phone isn't great in the house so I prefer going in

 

[mochibean]

Woah, some people are shameless! Anything to make a buck, ffs.

They're like vultures! It's absolutely disgusting they should be super ashamed.

I had a friend get involved in an MLM and we're not friends anymore. It really changed her as a person it was actually jarring.

 

[rainbowlemon]

I am looking to have my apartment oven and extractor fan professionally cleaned.

Do you reckon I need to ask my landlord for permission first?

I'm actually not sure. I've been thinking about arranging a deep clean of my place too, but was going to ask him for recommendations before I booked.

 

[Bobbleowl90]

Wine.

I really want to get into a nice glass of wine! I keep trying red wine but haven’t found any I like as they’re just too strong/vinegary?! I tried a non alcoholic Merlot in marks and sparks the other day and it was gorgeous. It was basically like sangria which is like drinking pop! Any recommendations for which to try?

 

[stargirl23]

Since we are on the topic of toddlers, my neice has now worked out how to climb out her crib, what's the best thing to keep her door shut but still allow us easy access in an out without it being an actual lock, if she can climb over her bars then she's going climb over a stairgate an I can't have her going downstairs or into my room due to animals an the fact she wants to empty my fridge an feed them everything

She almost gave me a heart attack walking into the living room tonight an I don't do a whole load of overnight stays to really want to start bolting things into the walls

Get a wooden stair gate? Yano the ones that don’t have spaces between the bars so they’re Harder to climb? Other than that not sure what else to suggest that would be safe

 

[cee-bee]

Does anybody know if you can claim somebody’s state pension contributions if they died before pension age? For example: married couple in their 50’s both eligible for state pension. One dies. Can the other one claim any money?

when my grandfather died, his state pension was automatically transferred to my grandmother. It was simply a matter of calling up a pension number to inform them of his death and they advised it would transfer to my grandmother. I think it’s straightforward if it’s a spouse. For a next of kin it might be trickier.

i expect a state pension can be transferred over if the individual who died, built up enough state pension via NI contributions. The pension number is 0800 731 0469

 

[Squittel]

Looking for advice on something that happened at my work Christmas party.

I was drunk, but I don’t think much drunker than anyone else there.

I started a conversation with a colleague who has recently (in the last year) lost a close relative to suicide. I too have been through this and I brought it up. The conversation was fine, in that she engaged with it and we chatted about it and I basically said “It’s such a difficult topic and you can feel very alone, as not many people know how it feels. If you ever need to reach out to someone who has been through it too, please do.”

I just feel now it was very tactless of me to bring that up at a Christmas party. I should have kept my mouth shut and I hope I didn’t upset her at all, or catch her off guard. I had the best intentions, honestly.

Do you think I should apologise for bringing it up or move on? As I said, she was receptive to the conversation and didn’t come across as uncomfortable so maybe I’m overthinking it. What would you do? I was thinking I could just send her a quick message apologising for bringing it up but making sure she knows I do stand by what I said about reaching out.

 

[Lizziebox]

Has anyone ever missed an item on self-scan checkout? I used the hand scanner in Sainsbury's and forgot one item (a pack of magnums if it makes a difference) in a shop of about 15 items. I got picked for a control check and it appeared. The woman didn't give a hoot. It happened once to me before about 2 years ago, a pack of bread mix in a huge store cupboard shop.

My anxiety has me thinking I'm going to be banned from the store - someone talk sense into me!!!

I haven’t, but my brother did and they got him to redo his shopping on a normal till.
Don’t worry about it, it’s gonna happen it’s a simple mistake. If shops were that worried they’ll stop doing it

I have noticed though shops are more strict with bags, either scanning for you or watching you scan!!

 

[Thank(space)you]

How bad is your infestation if you don't mind me asking? We've had carpet beetles for years, only see the odd couple but they drive me mad. What did they recommend to get rid of them?

It's not bad thankfully. They just sprayed insecticide. They hate white vinegar too so can give that a go, and of course hoovering and dusting lots