The advice thread for random problems #4

[Rxt156]

I love the astonish mould and mildew spray. Spray it around the windows and doors on a cold morning leave 5 mins then wipe away and never get any mould and it doesn’t rub off or damage any wall paint

Same here. Usually £1

 

[Thank(space)you]

Massively freaking out as the guy from the HR situ is apparently telling people that he's got my address saved in Google maps & he has pics of me in my lingerie!

I know I've never given him either but I'm Massively freaking out if he has got them how he has?

I'm hoping he's bullshitting because if he had that info why wouldn't he have given it to HR sooner?

I'm genuinely getting so scared

 

[stargirl23]

For anyone who's used the home collection service for postage items with royal mail.
Is the stamp they attach separate from the address label? Can you have the stamp without the free address label?

When I’ve done it before they’ve just printed off the address label for me and stuck that and this other thing showing I’ve paid postage on it for me when they’ve come to the door to collect

 

[yankydoo]

We’re being recalled to the office starting 1st February () so I’ve had to invest in a few new outfits. Mostly dresses as I’m not really a work trouser fan…..but I am stumped about what shoes/boots to wear with them. For dresses this style/length what would you pair them with? I work in a pretty formal field if that makes a difference.

View attachment 2676326

Boots like she is wearing in that photo or loafers

 

[becca7721]

That’s

I sold two coats last week and shipped both of them at the same time. The buyer is telling me they only received one and not the other which I find hard to believe.

I used prepaid envelopes that don’t have tracking (as agreed with the buyer). I suggested they wait a few more days and if not received, I’ll refund them but I find the whole thing a bit strange.

This is a private sale by the way.

Sounds a bit odd to me too. I’d definitely think they should wait a few more days. Were the coats of value? Could it be a scam?

 

[Snippysnips]

Advice for getting 2 year old used to nursery?

Unfortunately my bro just had to leave her at the door screaming, there's nothing else he could do as everyone is working, she'd cry in the mornings even as she was getting ready to go, they do get used to it eventually an the nurseries are trained to help the kids, we were told not to go in with her an just leave her at the door an as much as it's hard she did eventually settle an was fine that is till she was moved up a group an has lost a friend as the friend is still in the lower group so it's all repeating itself now but we know she will eventually settle again an be fine

Good luck, it's not easy leaving them at the door screaming the place down

 

[Snippysnips]

Does anyone have a ring doorbell plus a echo? I can tell Alexa to go onto the doorbell itself an view outside but I want to be able to leave the echo on home then when someone rings the door I want the echo to automatically bring it up, can't seem to figure out how to do that, it's for my folks since the living room is at the back of the house an they can't hear the door

 

[Popcornshovel]

Hey! Wasn't really sure if there was anywhere more suitable to post this, so thought I'd ask here. I have an 18 month old British Shorthair who is well behaved 90% of the time - 10% being in a morning when she wakes us up at 5/6am by clawing at the carpet. I get up to feed her but she will eat then come back and start clawing at the carpet again. She never does this at any other point in the day, only at that time in the morning. She basically cries until we get up, then once we are up she sits like a little loaf peacefully watching out of the window. I don't know what the issue is because we do feed her but it's getting to the point where it's making holes and pulls in the carpet which naturally is a nightmare.

Was thinking of getting an automatic feeder and setting it at intervals maybe a little earlier, so she stays downstairs and is fed?

Yeah automatic feeders are great, it stopped my cat from waking us for food. He still wakes us for attention though!

For the pulling on the carpet... You could put a doormat in the hallway and then the cat will naturally do the pulling on that instead of the actual carpet. Or a horizontal scratcher.

 

[Moth]

Meeting was rather odd. They kept telling me to be more positive, everything’s going to be fine, and as much as I tried to be realistic they kept telling me to get positive. So in the end I just let my voices take over, literally. I was told I do not need to pay anything for eviction, they can get me full long term benefits, get me medical help and support and try can definitely find me somewhere and I’ve nothing to worry about with landlord. Adaptions, care and, support will all be funded and free. But they did confirm no suitable temporary accommodation for someone with my needs.

BUT

Benefits take time. Medical help and hoarding support never mind sorting takes time. Finding me somewhere without a needs assessment impossible and takes months. The landlord had at that point said nothing about not evicting me (see below). Adaptions have already been done for free where I am they won’t be done again - I need to pay, care is not free; nor is support as physically disabled.

This evening I got the following (I’ve removed parts about neighbour and police issue) from landlord.


“Hiya mate, just to confirm your time at x is at an end. It’s good you're finally engaging with people but you must leave. We won’t enforce on x but you must leave. We never wanted you to be homeless but you must leave. Housing confirmed you’ve plenty of help and support now and are finally engaging with people which is good but your time there is over. Cheers ‘landlord’”.

This doesn’t sound like I can stay until somewhere is found for me and I’m terrified.

To me this appears that they think I’m gong into be housed immediately and that’s not realistic at all.

I’m being messed around by so many people and in such a state today’s not helped at all.

It takes weeks and more likely months for a landlord to enforce an eviction through the court so there's little danger of you having to leave any time soon. In any case he's said that he's not going to enforce the eviction so he won't even start the process when your notice expires. I would reply to your landlord with something like "I understand that you want me to leave. I am engaging with the housing team and as soon as they can find me somewhere suitable, I'll be gone. At the moment I don't know when that will be but I'll keep you up to date as things progress". I'd also forward the landlord's email and your reply to your contact in the housing team 'for information'. Re. benefits. How long it takes for the claim to be processed depends which on ones you are talking about.

Obviously I can't know the exact situation and I recognise lying don't worry doesn't help but it sort of feels that you are catastophising the situation - it's something I have personal experience of so I recognise the signs.

 

[Moth]

I sent their email to housing they’re not happy with what was sent to me. There’s more to this than I’ve put here (legal case, safeguarding, police involvement so can’t go into that).

The email landlord sent to them:

“re: my name, my address

Dear x,

This is to confirm above tenant can stay.
There’s no risk to her accommodation.

I’ll send this to her to confirm.

Yours y”

Not the same!

I’ll just need to see what happens but it’s a huge amount of worry I just don’t need on top of other stuff.

ETA benefit situation is complicated as someone decided to switch my benefits to income based without consent which they shouldn’t be meaning I can be switched to UC and effects things like pensions as well, and pip was stopped without any assessment or anything at all, deemed fraud and made to repay so that’s likely why the wait.

I apologise for not having said THANK YOU for the reply!

Your thanks are appreciated but really not necessary. I've spent a lot of time training in these issues with CAB and it seems stupid not to use such knowledge as I have to try to help people with their problems.

You can read your landlord's email to you as a clumsy way of just emphasising that although he will let you stay for now, he still wants you to leave when you can. In that case his email to the council is entirely consistent. However I fully understand why it would worry you. Based on what you've posted here I don't think you need to be worried about being forced out. It's now down to the council to do their best for you.

There are legitimate reasons why your benefits could be switched from 'contributory' to 'income' based. For example if you are not in the Support Group for ESA you can only get 'contributory ESA' for 12 months and then you'll be switched to 'income based'. DWP doesn't need your consent to do this. The old 'income based' (also known as 'means tested') benefits are being replaced by Universal Credit which is also 'means tested' so the amount you get will depend on your income and savings etc. Once you've applied for UC you should only have to wait 5 weeks for the first payment and you can get an advance on that payment if needed.

I've never come across a PIP claim being stopped on the basis that the claim was fraudulent so that seems 'unusual'. It's difficult to see how a PIP claim could be fraudulent. However without knowing the details I couldn't comment further and I don't think this is the forum for that anyway. I would really recommend contacting Citizens Advice for help at least on the benefit issues. There are lots of ways to access advice besides 'face to face'. https://www.cabceredigion.org/services/

 

[Thank(space)you]

Just found another on a pair of jeans I had hanging over the edge of the bed, but fell over before I had chance to throw it out the window . going to have to be thorough, by the looks of it.

Wash everything you can on a hot wash, can help kill any eggs/babies that are lurking.

 

[stargirl23]

Thank you, you were the perfect person to answer this for me.
I’m not too bothered about having a reaction but that heart racing was weird and made me anxious.
Will go into my vaccine with zero worries now

Perfect so glad I could help you completely get the anxiety though I have atrial flutter and whenever my heart skips a beat or suddenly races it really panics me!

 

[littlepup]

Apart from amazon what is a good website/shop to look at gadgets. Kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, etc I'm just looking for gadgets that are a little different and makes life easier or at least a little more fun

Lakeland, JosephJoseph, John Lewis.
They dan be expensive but you can find good stuff then look for a cheaper version on Amazon if budget dictates.

 

[square_spoon]

Is there a library or community centre in the area that might have a private consultation space? Whoever told you that you would have to pay to rent a space is mistaken I hope, I’ve never heard of such a thing where there’s a disability access issue involved. I can’t speak to the actual legality of it in the UK (and if it is illegal what your resolution would be) but it would be a very ill-planned way of delivering a service to put a cost barrier in the way of disabled clients. Sorry you’re going through this at the moment, hope you get a positive outcome.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Ordered a jumpsuit from next tried it on and I look fab. Went to show my husband and he said what's that smell? The jumpsuit stinks. Like manure/muck spreading/shit smell.

He then peeled one of their returns barcodes off my back.

The tag is one that loops through the label so easily removed and replaced. So it appears someone has worn it somewhere stinky and returned it.

It is out of stock online and I haven't seen it in store. What would you do? Try washing it and of smell doesn't go/it shrinks add the label back on and return? Ask for a discount? Just return it and cry? I have quite a long body so finding a jumpsuit that fits and looks as good as this did is hard. Any advice woukd be appreciated

Return it You're worth more!

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

Would depend on what she needs to say, is there a way she can hand it all in an then just walk out? Or is there a lot she needs to discuss before that? Personally if she needs to talk about things then I would get it all out with without giving away she's never returning then at the very very last minute say "oh an by the way am done" then just walk out the door an not even give him a chance to say anything back, maybe even put on headphones as she's walking out so she doesn't hear any vile he spews at her as well an chin up too, if there's one thing I've learned with people like that is never slow them they have gotten to you, she's going to be going off to a much better workplace so chin up an don't even look at any of them in the place, just march on right out the door

Does she also still need the meeting if she's leaving? I don't know how the work place is but when I left a previous job because of stress, I basically just walked in, grabbed my stuff an handed them the sick note then said my notice was in with it an walked right back out again, never seen them again or even gave them the chance to talk about it, I just went

Sorry I wasn't very clear, my fault there. My understanding is she's got to hand over a work laptop, credit card, keys, etc. With how they've behaved so far I wouldn't want her to just leave them - I wouldn't put it past the boss to claim she smashed up the laptop and try and take the cost of a new one out of her final pay. So she's got a bit of admin to do at least. Her desk is packed up and ready to go.

The sick note will be coming the next day - so she'll have to send that in to HR by email. But she'll inevitably have to tell her boss, if she's going to give everything back that day.

 

[turkishdelightmad]

Hi, has anyone had any experience with frozen shoulder.. I’m at my wits end with it

 

[Snippysnips]

you should look at codecademy! It's free up to a point, I'm not sure what gaming languages they have but they do great intros to Python/Java and all that.

Thanks I'll check that out

 

[Lizziebox]

what’s a good rate for full days and nursery morning sessions (5 hrs)
Thank you

I pay £89 a day 8-6

 

[Emlo]

Not sure if this is the right place to ask this - but what age do you stop giving presents to nieces / nephews? We have one that has turned 18 now, gave for their 18th birthday last year and the Christmas just gone, but is it the "done" thing to stop now? Don't want to be tight, but also we never get a "thank you" from this one!

Every family is different on this one and probably best to chat to the parents and work out everyone’s expectations. Personally I’d get 18 and 21 no matter what. And then only bring a little something (a tenner in a card) if I was actually invited to a birthday celebration for 19 or 20. Sadly I don’t think thanks really play a part in it, if there’s a more grateful niece/ nephew that you would still buy for past 18 you should really do the same for everyone in my opinion.