The advice thread for random problems #2

[becca7721]

Thankyou for making a new thread (and being so kind)

 

[Rxt156]

Hi all, I couldn’t figure out how to start a new thread so thought it best to post in here!

A bit of a tricky one but my other half and I live in a flat which is quite old and has terrible sound proofing. Our neighbours seem like nice people who keep themselves to themselves. We just have one awkward issue. They have a baby, who based on when I first saw the baby as a newborn must now be about 18 months old. Our bedroom is on the other side of their bedroom. We’d rarely hear the baby crying through the walls even as a newborn but for the past 3 months or so, we’ve been woken up on a regular basis around 2 or 3AM by the baby squealing and crying. It’s so loud that we feel like the baby is in the same room as us. Even with earplugs in we sometimes wake up. We can hear the parents talking quite loudly too. We live in 2 bedroom flats so I am not sure if the baby sleeps in their other room and then when she wakes, they bring her into their bedroom. We don’t have children ourselves but I do sympathise if they are suffering with broken sleep. Is it awkward if I raise the issue with the neighbours however? I’m not sure if they realise how loud their baby is - it doesn’t even sound like crying, more squealing. I just don’t want to come across as unsympathetic and cause them stress but it’s really really annoying me now!

I’ll bet it’s annoying then just as much. If they could stop the baby crying and waking up then they would. They’re not doing on purpose to annoy you…. They can’t turn the baby’s crying down 🫣 Not sure what bringing it up will achieve apart from create awkwardness.

 

[rainbowlemon]

I would say trust your heart. You don't have anything to prove to anyone. What's the point of going up a band for so much extra hassle with the small gain you get in wages you miss out on time and have to pay for extra petrol + wear and tear on your car ?

Three days a week sounds like a nice alternative to " 50 minute drive each way + struggle to park at health centres.

 

[HoGi]

Got myself a little 2nd job to help with the cost of living, 20hrs two weekends a month .
Now I am not good at maths but I think I am getting taxed more than the usual 20%,can someone look into my wage slip and help me please
T.I.A

I cant quite see the figures. But it looks like your gross pay to date is 900 and tax paid to date is 180. Which is 20% so your tax to date is right for BR tax code on a cumulative basis.

It might be that you didn't pay enough tax on previous months so have paid extra this month. Your tax to date is definitely right for BR tax code.

Tax is calculated as pay to date, minus personal allowances for the tax code and relevant month (none in this case as BR is 20% on everything) and then the whole pounds only x20%. That is your tax due to date. Minus off any tax already paid in the year from that source and that's the tax due in that month. So as your tax to date is correct but your tax paid this month is higher than 20% I would guess you haven't paid enough tax in previous months but are now up to date.

BR tax code would only be wrong if you don't have income of over £12570 from another source. If your income from elsewhere is less than this then call HMRC and get them to spilt your tax code between your two incomes.

 

[Frenchie]

Hi everyone,
Where do I begin, dsughter no.1 had a good job, flat etc got with this bloke, useless doesn’t work, bad history etc etc, well long story short they have been evicted from private rental, I’ve told her to come home but not with him (he’s lied, as I said above not good )
She won’t come without him, Council won’t help, she’s now living in b&b borrowing money as I and couple of family members don’t want her on street, it’s awful, I’m so sad
Sorry if this makes no sence just struggling with whole situation, she walked streets one night

 

[Mamacita]

Totally normal in my opinion to snap fingers at kids to get their attention, I've had my parents do it, teachers, babysitters etc an never seen anything wrong with it, sometimes kids need that sound so they will turn an look, I would understand it being rude if it was done at an adult but never a kid, kids turn an look at noise and snapping fingers is fine or even clapping hands which I'll do because I can't snap

Agreed. It might be inappropriate to do to a waiter or your boss. Totally appropriate for:
-kids
-partners that are too busy playing playstation to answer your question
- the cat

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Hi
So a guy who’s blocked me on WhatsApp 18 months ago has suddenly started to block and unblock me but the past two weeks he’s been adding my friends on Snapchat and Instagram and messaging them asking if they know me when it’s clear they do and I’ve even mentioned these friends to him when we were talking. The weird thing is his Instagram use to be private and public now and he’s clearly with his girlfriend but his posts his him devoting his love to her.
I don’t know I find this odd as I told him when we were talking that I don’t want a relationship with him and I’ll oviously always care for him but won’t let him get as close again.
I don’t know what I want from this maybe just a vent but me and my friends are confused over this situation

Nah, just block him on all social media and ask your friends to do the same. Very strange and clearly fucking with your head a bit

 

[queenbees]

Also if you are certain you didn’t do anything, I would look a pursuing this person for harassment along with the complaint with the police. What they have done is unacceptable and breaches all of GDPR.

thanks for all the advice. I do appreciate it. It has really bothered me tbh. People can be awful

 

[shadowcat5]

I was on the pill on and off since I was 18 - currently 31, progesterone only. Stopped my periods completely, always took pregnancy tests periodically and was paranoid.

Stopped taking the pill aged 29 for a year during the pandemic cause I needed to get my blood pressure checked and also just generally couldn't be bothered. Got my periods back and they were like clockwork, used a tracker app and always accurate. However started with unexplained pelvic pain monthly and I couldn't bend over, get out of bed etc. when it was happening.

Currently waiting for a gynaecology appointment to investigate further but it was recommended by two different doctors I got back on the pill ASAP to manage my symptoms. I have done and it's massively helped but I'm worried being on the pill since I was 18 has basically masked symptoms. Looking for further advice and discussion as well

Yeah I am noticing my IBS symptoms have piled on since being off it. I get the odd day but the flair up has been quite bad. I eat relatively healthy, get more than my 5 a day, exercise and all that so I don't think it's my lifestyle and nothing has changed.

You might find the thread periods helpful, am not sure how to link but it's in the advice section

Personally I was on and off it for years because of my performing an it's left me messed up now, I don't have a pattern, I can be super early or super late, can go between either massively heavy or really light as well, if I could have gotten away with it then I wouldn't have taken it in the first place because I feel there's no fixing mine now, I'd also get insane pains with mine an some have told me to be checked for endometriosis so if you are being sick with them then I'd see about being checked for that and also if you have anemia, anemia could explain the fatigue so maybe taking an iron supplement may help, but it is something best spoken to a doctor with

So i had a blood test and my iron levels are fine. I am thinking I may have PMD(D?) because mentally I take a huge plunge before and during

Spoiler: Trigger warning!

like I get quite suicidal. not enough to do anything but enough that I am thinking about it. This period I had a horrible moment looking at my curtain pole and had to take myself off to bed.

.

I just don't know what to do for the best. A bit of me thinks maybe I should leave it for awhile and see if things improve as it's only the 1st month but the other part of me thinks that it's not worth the stress. I will head over to the period thread though!

 

[Snippysnips]

You completely misunderstood my post and extrapolated it to give it a whole new meaning it didn’t have. It’s nothing to do with “messing with people”. I don’t know where you got that from. Your post is very rude and offensive if I’m very honest and particularly calling me “old”. You’re way off base and it’s not the kind of advice I was seeking at all.

I often post on this forum and those who know my posts know I’m quite a serious person. If I go into the dating game, it’s to meet someone on a serious basis, not to “mess around” or whatever it idyour post insinuated. I’ve better things to do with my time. Don’t project your personal experiences onto other people who are just candidly seeking advice.

To make it very clear, my post was about wondering if I should just follow my “intuition” which is perhaps telling me to set up an account because I’m about to meet a serious connection or if I should just ignore my thoughts is all.

Oh honestly calm down, you are younger than me

I didn't think you were going to make a account for the whole purpose just to ignore everyone on it, it just seems a bit pointless to have the app if you aren't going to be serious on it, so I assumed maybe you would message them back which to me would be messing with someone if you are actively talking with them only to not be intrested

 

[London Hung Guy]

Sorry if this is the wrong place for this. I seem to have come down with the sickness bug. I had a headache yesterday I felt bit iffy but just put it down to a busy day and not eating much. I woke up at 1 am and threw up and I have done another four times since. Mostly bile.

I’ve got a headache, very slight fever and I’m exhausted. I can’t get a doctor’s appointment for love nor money, and to be honest I don’t have the energy to get up should I be worried or do I just need to ride it out?

Ride it out, just don't eat anything - just drink boiled water. You will survive.

 

[disillusionedbythegram]

So I went to a bottomless brunch yesterday evening at the same restaurant me and my friend went to in December. For some reason we were both way more drunk and I ended up being picked up by paramedics and my parents having to come and get me. We drank less than last time and I have no idea why I was in such a bad state and it’s so embarrassing because my parents are going to be so angry in the morning. I wonder if it’s because last time was Christmas and we both drank more at home/socially we’re as we’ve both had busy terms and not been out much, but I don’t understand how I ended up in such a state after a few cocktails.

Sorry that’s happened to you. When you say a few cocktails, was it really only a few? As you’re right, that shouldn’t mean you’re so drunk you end up being picked up by paramedics. Is there any possibility you could’ve been spiked?

 

[CoffeeMamma]

Thank you! Iam feeling uneasy and worried about her reaction tomorrow.. She seems convinced that I have behaved terribly and boyfriend coukd tell their Co workers on Monday. She does have a tendency to over react and I do walk on egg shells a lot so I should have just kept my mouth shut in hindsight.

That’s awful, you shouldn’t be made to feel like this in your own home. Even if he tells his co-workers so what, are they going to come after you with pitchforks because you asked why there was a garlic smell?! Are these all very juvenile coworkers?

 

[stardust1]

Has anyone got a recommendation on a tried and tested strapless bra for bigger boobs? Or should I just gaffa tape the bastards

 

[Purrrrrrr]

I have a really daft problem

I now have a cleaner helper and right now she is in my garden tidying it and making it look nice after all the plants dying and leaves falling ETC
I am suffering so much anxiety, how do people just sit there when others are doing work for them? She isn't even in the house and I'm stressed that I'm sitting and doing nothing while she is working hard. How on earth will I cope when she is in the house doing the cleaning?

I have had a cleaner helper before but we worked together and it was great but I can't do physical work anymore and it's killing me.

I once did some cleaning jobs to supplement my carer pay and didnt give it thought that people were sitting chatting with a friend or watching TV while I was cleaning .. I want to be able to do that but feel like I can't breath






I feel like a right nob sitting here so stressed.

 

[shadowcat5]

I've spent alot of time on the rant thread moaning about losing weight and nothing happening but my moment of joy came today.

Last year I was busting out of a size 18.
I ordered some Mom jeans (always been a skinny jeans kinda gal) in a 14 to slim into for spring / Summer and they fit now

Now my dilemma is, do I keep them or return for a size 12 () and use them as motivation to slim into?!

It depends when you're going to wear them. I personally would keep them as a feel good about yourself and your progress!

 

[tomato_paste]

According to my vaccination form, I had tetanus stage 2 in 2020. The form says I'm not due until 2030

Tetanus is covered then, no need to worry since you've had the jab so recent as well. Keep an eye on it for infections but if it is just a scratch you're going to be ok

 

[CoffeeMamma]

Need some advice on food. I made stew in my slow cooker last night, turned it off at about 7pm. Stew was piping hot. Went to bed at 9.30pm and forgot to put it in the fridge. Will it be okay to eat if I heat it up before I do?

I’ve done it before, and lived to tell the tale. Not sure it’s what Food Safety Standard websites recommend but I do it on the regular

 

[Blond3g1rl]

After a bit advice and recommendations.

Has anyone tried to re-waterproof a coat? I've got one that used to be water resistant but it's been washed a few times and I get wet straight away. It's a insulated one with synthetic wadding.

Nikwax. Use it on horse turnout rugs to reproof them.

 

[Theninth]

Thank you all so much for your comments, I was being unreasonable because they are family. It was a lot easier when we just had one child but I think they don't realise how hard it can be having three children to look after and how much time it can take to get everything together for a birthday. I'm going to speak to my husband today, he supports my view when I speak to him but I try not to make to big a deal of it to him because its his family. I think you're right though, I need to put my foot down more or it will never stop. Thank you for your help