Thanks everyone for their help. It appears that the damp problem is actually a condensation problem 
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We have this - absolutely caught be by surprise in our new house as didnāt have same problem at our previous property.Thanks everyone for their help. It appears that the damp problem is actually a condensation problem
We bought a dehumidifer and itās really brought the humidity in the house down. We got an Avalla from Robert Dyas.
So, I have a question...
It's a mental health thing I think.
The way I process traumatic events has always been a bit odd (I suspect I'm neurodiverse).
I've had a really difficult year and don't get much time to myself. I'm finding that my mind drifts to events in the past that have been difficult at random times. I sort of live it for a bit and then am able to pull myself out of it.
I had quite a big issue with what I think were flashbacks when an ex partner died in 2020 but I understood why they were happening and was able to move past them.
The way I process things has always been a bit weird in that things build and then suddenly everything comes out at once.
The time a lot of my emotions seep out is driving to work. I think because it's the only time I have to myself to let it out.
I'm watching Cliff on bbc2 and it's brought up so many feelings about my childhood. The best way to describe it is like some sort of freeze frame shots, like they do when someone dies. Does that make sense? Like a movie but of static photos playing through my mind.
When I feel emotion, it's like I'm having to relive every single thing I've experienced that is vaguely connected again at the same time.
I'm having counselling, although it's early days but is there something I should be flagging to her? How do I approach all this stuff that my mind is doing?
It's a mental health thing I think.
The way I process traumatic events has always been a bit odd (I suspect I'm neurodiverse).
I've had a really difficult year and don't get much time to myself. I'm finding that my mind drifts to events in the past that have been difficult at random times. I sort of live it for a bit and then am able to pull myself out of it.
I had quite a big issue with what I think were flashbacks when an ex partner died in 2020 but I understood why they were happening and was able to move past them.
The way I process things has always been a bit weird in that things build and then suddenly everything comes out at once.
The time a lot of my emotions seep out is driving to work. I think because it's the only time I have to myself to let it out.
I'm watching Cliff on bbc2 and it's brought up so many feelings about my childhood. The best way to describe it is like some sort of freeze frame shots, like they do when someone dies. Does that make sense? Like a movie but of static photos playing through my mind.
When I feel emotion, it's like I'm having to relive every single thing I've experienced that is vaguely connected again at the same time.
I'm having counselling, although it's early days but is there something I should be flagging to her? How do I approach all this stuff that my mind is doing?
Counselling will definitely help. You sound a lot like me
I think I am quite a sensitive and emotional person. The two are a bad mix Sometimes I float along and everything is ok but when I get really overwhelmed it all comes out at once and my mind doesnāt really know how to process it. Over time Iāve kinda learned that I need to know when Iām coming to the point of overwhelm so I try to stop that from happening. I think a lot of it is understanding how it happens and how you get to that point and noticing any patterns. Sounds basic but that has really helped me.Thank you. It's good to know I'm not alone.Counselling will definitely help. You sound a lot like me
I have managed it for years but there's an enormous amount going on in my life at the moment and I seem to have hit maximum capacity.
You definitely are not alone
I think itās good to see that you are recognising that youāve hit maximum capacity. I found when I started to see the same patterns and the same bad emotions coming back with the the overwhelm etc that it is nearly like a light bulb moment. Try some things out to see if they help. I find pulling back and spending time alone usually helps me initially, Altho itās not always possible lol Counselling is great. I hope you get loads from it.You could bring to the attention of your counsellor Post traumatic stress disorder, I'm not diagnosing you, but you may be experiencing some symptoms of the condition. Hope you manage to work through things, and feel better soon
Thank you. I have wondered. I just don't feel like I've experienced enough 'trauma' to qualify.You could bring to the attention of your counsellor Post traumatic stress disorder, I'm not diagnosing you, but you may be experiencing some symptoms of the condition. Hope you manage to work through things, and feel better soon
I've never sought help before like this and it's scary. I had to though.
I had to do a psychological wellbeing questionnaire for work recently and I was honest in it. The results are not back yet but they go to management so I'm expecting it to flag up. Fortunately I've already explained some of my problems and they've been very supportive.
I spend all my time alone really. I'm with my children but I don't have any other adult company other than when I'm at work.You definitely are not alone
I'm lonely but I don't have the energy to socialise. I've also been really let down by someone close who is family not just a friend and it hurts.
It's weird, I would like some company but I don't have the energy. I'll spend most of the Christmas break alone and that's ok because I need the time to recharge.
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So not a huge issue but my kid has his birthday next month, it's midweek and his party is the weeknd before. On his actual birthday it's a normal day, work and childcare etc. would you do presents on the weekend before / after the party or wait until his actual birthday? He's 4
I'd just do them on his birthday. That's what we've always done.
I have found counselling amazing. Before I only had NHS or MIND and it was pretty useless as it ended before I even relaxed into it.
I now have open-ended non-NHS counselling supplemented by charity ( I pay Ā£15 ) and the difference is chalk and cheese.
At first, I was all over the place jumping from one thing to another ( mostly the trivial stuff and not the important stuff) but now I have relaxed into it and I can sort things in my mind so much better, we can go forwards and backwards as much as I like. just talking really sorts that tit out in your own head and you find your own solutions.
The thing is there isn't a set amount of trauma points you have to reach before you qualify. Trauma at the end of the day is still trauma and should not be minimised because someone else may seem to have it worse. The unresolved trauma could be the cause leading to other symptoms.
I would highly recommended the book: the body keeps the score for a introductory reading and EDMR therapy for the flashbacks. You need someone who is trained though and does not just have a superficial understanding of trauma as just going in talking about it straight off the bat can also be retraumatizing too.
I'm a huge fan of body work practitioners alongside traditional therapy.
Also the coming out of the body experience is called depersonalization.
I would highly recommended the book: the body keeps the score for a introductory reading and EDMR therapy for the flashbacks. You need someone who is trained though and does not just have a superficial understanding of trauma as just going in talking about it straight off the bat can also be retraumatizing too.
I'm a huge fan of body work practitioners alongside traditional therapy.
Also the coming out of the body experience is called depersonalization.
changed some info in case people i with are in the tread
So I work with this older lady, I would say sheās 50-60 year old. last couple of months sheās made comments about my face when the room is pack. Iāve explain over it being a common medical condition and it at times flare up but she still comments asks questions over this. Iāve never heard her do this to anyone else over their appearance.
This year a close family member went into hospital and nearly died. This happened when the lady was away and when she came back 3 weeks later she found out and started asking me about it i.e what hospital, what happened are the ok? I didnāt feel this was appropriate with how long ago it happened, Iām not close to this colleague and I only just started being settled after it happened.
Iāve been in care, not many people I work with are aware of this. I donāt like many people knowing this in case peoples behaviour changes towards me and feels sorry. However some of the comments this woman makes over people in care I donāt like. I maybe nit picking with this but it makes me feel uncomfortable but I donāt want to challenge it because i especially donāt want this woman to know.
Iāve had run ins with this person over the hospital bit. I feel like itās becoming tit for tack as Iāve had to go to people over some stuff being wrong or not changed as she said she was going to. I keep biting my tongue because I donāt want an awkward atmosphere for my other colleagues and I feel like maybe itās just me taking this stuff the wrong way. I try and keep interactions with this woman as minimum as I can to prevent this and I think maybe itās personalityās clashing.
So I work with this older lady, I would say sheās 50-60 year old. last couple of months sheās made comments about my face when the room is pack. Iāve explain over it being a common medical condition and it at times flare up but she still comments asks questions over this. Iāve never heard her do this to anyone else over their appearance.
This year a close family member went into hospital and nearly died. This happened when the lady was away and when she came back 3 weeks later she found out and started asking me about it i.e what hospital, what happened are the ok? I didnāt feel this was appropriate with how long ago it happened, Iām not close to this colleague and I only just started being settled after it happened.
Iāve been in care, not many people I work with are aware of this. I donāt like many people knowing this in case peoples behaviour changes towards me and feels sorry. However some of the comments this woman makes over people in care I donāt like. I maybe nit picking with this but it makes me feel uncomfortable but I donāt want to challenge it because i especially donāt want this woman to know.
Iāve had run ins with this person over the hospital bit. I feel like itās becoming tit for tack as Iāve had to go to people over some stuff being wrong or not changed as she said she was going to. I keep biting my tongue because I donāt want an awkward atmosphere for my other colleagues and I feel like maybe itās just me taking this stuff the wrong way. I try and keep interactions with this woman as minimum as I can to prevent this and I think maybe itās personalityās clashing.
I'd be reporting her but that's just me, personally it's none of anyone's business what's going on with me, if I want to share things then I will but it's not up to someone to keep asking me
As far as commenting on your appearance, personally that's just rude especially if it's in front of others, I myself suffer from bad skin an when stressed it flares up, if someone was commenting on it in front of others I'd be shutting them the fk up there an then
She seems to be way over stepping boundaries, nothing to do with age, she just seems to be a noisy person which some people are, have you spoken to her privately an told her you don't want to share information an she's being disrespectful to you with commenting on you in front of others? I'd say tell her you feel uncomfortable an it's not her business what's going on an to stop with her comments on things, an if not then it needs to be reported, the last thing you want is to be harassed just because she wants to know whats going on
I went to my supervisor over the hospital stuff as I was more taken aback and shocked this woman was even aware of it. Her excuse was she was asking where I was and someone said Iām working from home due to a family member being in hospital but Iāve been in all week so made no sense. I think she was trying to save her back over it.
I keep saying back to her Iāve been to my doctors or Iām trying a new prescription to make her feel like a head over it. But she seems to mainly do the comment when our attractive colleague is talking to me. Who I donāt fancy etc before anyone thinks itās to do with that. But Iām more shocked no oneās said anything to her over it after Iāve made it obvious itās dick behaviour. Just to reassure me itās not just me who thinks these comments are inappropriate.
I havenāt gone to her privately over it yet. As Iāve been too wary maybe Iām taking it the wrong way or overthinking things of her behaviour to be honest. This is why Iāve posted it here before I confront her over all this the next time she says anything. an incident happened where me and others were joking and talking about something that was to do with the lady in question but werenāt aware. She pointed it out to just me saying sheās offended I apologise but she kept interrupting me and not accept my apology basically acting like a child in front of a full room of people. Which made me realise if she can be like that after one incident where Iāve actually done something wrong unintentionally then Iām fine to actually go off on one the next time she makes a comment to me
Do not engage with her outside of work talk and do not āgo off on herā in the work place because itās not appropriate and you will most probably get in trouble.
Next time she tries asking personal questions just tell her itās none of her business but be polite.
I would also go to your supervisor/manager saying you feel the lady is being inappropriate and you only want to engage with her in a working capacity. That way you have yourself covered if she complains about you
Iāve gone to my supervisor a lot about her and sheās asked if I want her to talk to her over it and Iāve said no because itāll just become a regular thing and I feel like Iām in school running to the teacher over it. Iāve thought ignoring her and keeping conversations with her to the bare minimum way help and give her the hint Iām not engaging or bothering with her.
When I mean go off on her I donāt mean in an aggressive way. I mean pointing out how itās inappropriate and etc politely when the rooms full like after sheās pointed out my skin.
The other day she found out someone Iāve applied for a job in a different department I was talking too someone else in the room over the work night out and she suddenly asked me if I heard anything from it. People in the room werenāt aware I applied and I said āno, I didnāt get an interview thatās why Iāve not said anythingā so I keep doing replies like that to make her feel uncomfortable brining it up or even asking
I think the best thing to do it just walk away from her, don't even give her a reply, if management had said to you that they would talk to her then it might have been worth it as they could have told her she needs to keep her distanceIāve gone to my supervisor a lot about her and sheās asked if I want her to talk to her over it and Iāve said no because itāll just become a regular thing and I feel like Iām in school running to the teacher over it. Iāve thought ignoring her and keeping conversations with her to the bare minimum way help and give her the hint Iām not engaging or bothering with her.
When I mean go off on her I donāt mean in an aggressive way. I mean pointing out how itās inappropriate and etc politely when the rooms full like after sheās pointed out my skin.
The other day she found out someone Iāve applied for a job in a different department I was talking too someone else in the room over the work night out and she suddenly asked me if I heard anything from it. People in the room werenāt aware I applied and I said āno, I didnāt get an interview thatās why Iāve not said anythingā so I keep doing replies like that to make her feel uncomfortable brining it up or even asking
She honestly seems like such a noisy cow tbh, next time you are in a room full of people an she says something, maybe just announce you are uncomfortable being asked something personal an walk away, she might hopefully feel embarrassed enough she won't do it again
I wish I did take my supervisor up on that offer but I just felt like it looks like Iāve got them fighting my battles. Iāve told my supervisor I just try and sit there doing my work with my headphones in trying not to join in the convo doing what I need to do.
I feel like sheās not happy Iām not pally with her as some other people are or the fact I rather go to other people than her. She tries to tell me how to do my job when she hasnāt actually got a clue. I need to make sureI get service users to fill out feedback questionnaires but then question how Iām doing it or questioning why Iām doing it that way but then all I say to her is I need it doing Iām not going on bed.
she had my name down on a room booked on the system the appointment was still down so I spoke to admin over it and told them she told me to keep the room and sheāll sort it out because is was for her device user. I got worried as the user would still get a text over to and I was worried theyāll turn up but they arenāt having an appointment. Admin werenāt happy with her telling me not to cancel the room and sheāll sort it so admin had a go at her over it. I donāt think she was happy I went to them over it but I was checking if she spoke to them or not.
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