The advice thread for random problems #2

[LaBlonde]

Has anyone got a recommendation on a tried and tested strapless bra for bigger boobs? Or should I just gaffa tape the bastards

as someone who is a g cup, i have never found a successful one i always find there are great options up until like a DD but if you’re beyond that, no chance. so many dresses i have never been able to wear!

gaffa tape the bastards has always been my go-to

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

So, I have a question...
It's a mental health thing I think.

The way I process traumatic events has always been a bit odd (I suspect I'm neurodiverse).

I've had a really difficult year and don't get much time to myself. I'm finding that my mind drifts to events in the past that have been difficult at random times. I sort of live it for a bit and then am able to pull myself out of it.

I had quite a big issue with what I think were flashbacks when an ex partner died in 2020 but I understood why they were happening and was able to move past them.

The way I process things has always been a bit weird in that things build and then suddenly everything comes out at once.

The time a lot of my emotions seep out is driving to work. I think because it's the only time I have to myself to let it out.

I'm watching Cliff on bbc2 and it's brought up so many feelings about my childhood. The best way to describe it is like some sort of freeze frame shots, like they do when someone dies. Does that make sense? Like a movie but of static photos playing through my mind.

When I feel emotion, it's like I'm having to relive every single thing I've experienced that is vaguely connected again at the same time.

I'm having counselling, although it's early days but is there something I should be flagging to her? How do I approach all this stuff that my mind is doing?

 

[rainbowlemon]

I’ve been hearing scratching some nights in my ceiling, but only when my upstairs neighbours are out/asleep. I’ve a severe hoarding problem, and thanks to my selfish upstairs neighbours can’t even get rid of few things I did before (they’re filling the waste bins literally after theyre collected - there’s several in property and none of us can put stuff in them). I’m really struggling today, lot of tears and fears about hoarding and having lost benefits so no electric. I overheard someone saying it must be rats because of me being so filthy and lazy just now is that even possible? It’s sunny but very cold here and still wet from getting caught in storm yesterday. I’m stuck re benefits as Drs don’t believe I’m disabled (everything still telephone only here yet are having meetings saying I must be better as not being seen when I can’t). They’ve already told the dwp I’m better. No one will help as everyone’s assuming I’m a fraud when I’m not. The thing re scratching is they make such a massive racket and jump on/off furniture/trampoline so much the ceiling is bowing and I know there’s no sound proofing and the space is tiny. The neighbours are VERY scary and aggressive so I now barricade myself inside; I can’t talk to them, contacting landlord makes abuse worse (they’ve made fun of my disability).

I just spent the past few days helping a relative fill in an appeal for PIP after it was originally rejected. Please appeal the decision. The DWP has admitted to falsely rejecting 80,000 people in 2022. The assessors themselves aren’t even medical doctors. If you appeal your case will be looked over by another independent person and another medical professional if it has to go to a tribunal. Personally I think they do it deliberately because it does take a lot of emotional energy to appeal and they’re hoping the majority of people will just give up.

Someone else here also pointed me to two facebook groups which were helpful. Can you contact your local Citizens advice? For help with the disability benefits? If you search on facebook the name of the benefit + support group you will find it. I believe you and that you’re not faking it. You’re entitled to support you deserve.

My sister’s building doesn’t even surprisingly have any bins outside. Just for recycling. We have just started going up the road to use the local bins on the high street. I would suggest contacting the landlord and asking for a bin for yourself. One which can be locked.

The hoarding isn’t your fault. I know it’s easy to be overwhelmed, but could you ask for help from family or friends?

 

[Mamacita]

I have a really daft problem

I now have a cleaner helper and right now she is in my garden tidying it and making it look nice after all the plants dying and leaves falling ETC
I am suffering so much anxiety, how do people just sit there when others are doing work for them? She isn't even in the house and I'm stressed that I'm sitting and doing nothing while she is working hard. How on earth will I cope when she is in the house doing the cleaning?

I have had a cleaner helper before but we worked together and it was great but I can't do physical work anymore and it's killing me.

I once did some cleaning jobs to supplement my carer pay and didnt give it thought that people were sitting chatting with a friend or watching TV while I was cleaning .. I want to be able to do that but feel like I can't breath






I feel like a right nob sitting here so stressed.

I know what you mean, I think I'd feel a bit awkward too since it's even like that if I have someone in to, I don't know, fix a boiler, even though I literally cannot help with that if I tried but in the end just try to remind yourself the person is getting paid for it, it's literally their job. Thanks to the fact you're paying for the service, they earn money and make a living, so they definitely have no issue with you not doing anything. If you wanted to/could clean yourself, she wouldn't be paid.

 

[JoeBloggs]

Anyone fly into London a lot? What airport would you recommend for ease with getting into roughly or round about the Russell Square area, the hotel will probably be booked somewhere that's close or close(ish) to Euston train station so I can get out to Watford easy enough, last time I went I took the train to King's Cross an honestly my trust in trains an their service has went downhill so I want to try flights now

London city will be your closest into the city. Wouldn’t bother with Gatwick, and Heathrow is still a good 45 min journey away.

 

[littlepup]

If you left a group chat on fb messenger but are on good terms with the participants of that group individually, would you still expect to be invited to do things with them?

Depends why you left, leaving sends a string message you don’t want to be part of it. You’ve voluntarily taken yourself out of the loop if they organise things via the group chat.

However if you said something like ‘guys I can’t keep up with the chat and keep getting confused so I’m going to come out of it but please let me know any important plans’ or ‘I’m too busy with work for a few weeks and I hate to see what I’m missing out on, will rejoin when I have more time’ then fair enough and you should be involved.

 

[Snippysnips]

This one is a random one but I’ve tried everything my friends have suggested:
My hair is SO greasy. I assumed build up so used a remover and it left me with the most dry, itchy scalp but still super greasy hair! I’ve also tried enough shampoos to open my own review links. My scalp remains dry and itchy but my hair a greasy mess. Send help!

My hair is like this as well, can't wash it everyday or it's greasy an can't go past two days or it's greasy

So I wash mine every 2 days with a tea tree shampoo, I wash it at night an let it dry natural over night as I released if I used a hair dryer it made it greasier quicker, on the days in-between I don't wash I'll use a little dry shampoo

Have you checked to see if you have psoriasis? I have that on my scalp an can have a dry an itchy scalp even though my hair can be greasy, the tea tree also helps with that

But also touching your hair can make it like that, sometimes you don't even realise your doing it if it's out of habit

 

[Slaybutter]

Does anyone take gut supplements? I hear people rave about Symprove but I’m not paying that would an everyday BioAcidophilus suffice? I drink a daily can of Remedy kombucha.

Personally kombucha is not beneficial for me or my gut. It has too many FODMAPs. Reading reviews on how other people get on with a supplements is a good idea but take it with a pinch of salt. What works for some people might not be suited for you. I got sick trying Yakult which many people love. Also google the strains of bacteria cultures included and what they do. It is interesting. Some are better suited for the task of healing the gut. I like the strain in Culina yogurt, it’s a great reset when my balance is off:

 

[Very traditional]

Might post this on a couple of threads! Hoping someone has an answer…

how does one get foundation marks out from a jacket collar?I’ve not washed it as it’s a puffer jacket and I don’t want it to lose its puff. Any ideas? Makeup remover, micellar water, baby wipes does not take it out.

Weirdly saw a tip about this on insta the other day, apparently shaving foam is brilliant for getting foundation off collars. I’ve not tried it but I did Google it and it does seem to be a thing.

 

[shadowcat5]

Question. Would you expect both your children to be invited to a child’s bday party if they were only 2 years age diff or just the one that’s close in age to the child celebrating their bday?

not a parent so feel free to ignore. It depends on the circumstances.

is the birthday child a friend or classmate from school or a family friend’s child?

 

[Frenchie]

I think, being completely honest, I’d do whatever I could to get them both home. Say anything. Then I’d sneakily drive him to the opposite end of the country without her knowing. Steal his phone etc…
Not very moral I grant you but that’s my approach.

Oh believe me this has crossed my mind
---

I wish there was something else I could suggest. I desperately hope it all resolves itself 🤍.

Thank you

 

[Mamacita]

Has anyone ever gotten from Amazon an sent it back if it's no good? How easy of a process is it? Am looking at something quite expensive, reviews are definitely mixed on if they will come without being mostly broken or if they will come totally fine, it says I have till end January to return them but since I've never returned anything I've gotten off Amazon before I don't know what it's like

It's pretty easy for the stuff I've bought, but not sure if it's different if you're buying something bulky. For me it was just doing a return on the app, then taking it back to a shop nearby that does Amazon returns. You don't even need to put it in a box apparently,though i still did.

 

[littlepup]

iplayer will stream it live on the watch now. You could open it on your laptop and share your screen by giving them remote access

 

[Snowjoke]

So, I have a question...
It's a mental health thing I think.

The way I process traumatic events has always been a bit odd (I suspect I'm neurodiverse).

I've had a really difficult year and don't get much time to myself. I'm finding that my mind drifts to events in the past that have been difficult at random times. I sort of live it for a bit and then am able to pull myself out of it.

I had quite a big issue with what I think were flashbacks when an ex partner died in 2020 but I understood why they were happening and was able to move past them.

The way I process things has always been a bit weird in that things build and then suddenly everything comes out at once.

The time a lot of my emotions seep out is driving to work. I think because it's the only time I have to myself to let it out.

I'm watching Cliff on bbc2 and it's brought up so many feelings about my childhood. The best way to describe it is like some sort of freeze frame shots, like they do when someone dies. Does that make sense? Like a movie but of static photos playing through my mind.

When I feel emotion, it's like I'm having to relive every single thing I've experienced that is vaguely connected again at the same time.

I'm having counselling, although it's early days but is there something I should be flagging to her? How do I approach all this stuff that my mind is doing?

Counselling will definitely help. You sound a lot like me I think I am quite a sensitive and emotional person. The two are a bad mix Sometimes I float along and everything is ok but when I get really overwhelmed it all comes out at once and my mind doesn’t really know how to process it. Over time I’ve kinda learned that I need to know when I’m coming to the point of overwhelm so I try to stop that from happening. I think a lot of it is understanding how it happens and how you get to that point and noticing any patterns. Sounds basic but that has really helped me.

 

[JoeBloggs]

The gasket from my blender has stubborn dirt. I’ve let it run through six dishwashing cycles and it won’t move. Does anyone have ideas that I can try out?

Something fizzy, bicarb & vinegar or a fizzing mug cleaner.

 

[thaliamay]

Thanks to you both I'm on hold to the NHS 24 as its excruciating continuously no let ups and after the worst month medically - knew broken in 4 places, 4 teeth Inc wisdom extracted after a prolonged bout of infections/abscesses/toothache, gastritis which saw me hospitalised, now facial virus which is burning.... I'm done I feel drained.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Any ideas how I can improve my skin on holidays/hot weather? I look around and see these sunkissed beauties and I look boiled with huge pores. I use heliocare facial sunscreen but I just look greasy as hell. I’m fine the rest of the year.

Sometimes one is just unfortunate with the type of skin you are born with. I use Supergoop powder sunscreen and it helps to mattify a sweaty/greasy face in hot weather

 

[disillusionedbythegram]

In the same boat here - except no children, and I've never smoked. Caught my husband vaping a few months ago - after which he said he'd given the vape to a friend so he only has it when they go out - and again about 10 days ago.

He'd made such a song and dance last year about being worried about a cough and convinced himself he'd got something bad, had tests and everything was ok, so I was annoyed two fold; one, about the lying and sneaking around, and second about the smoking itself, and like he felt he'd got the green card to do so again because the cough he was worried about last year wasn't anything serious.

I had it out with him over the lying, and kept repeating that we all have to make difficult choices for our health. He was also doing it in the house, and I said he had to do it outside, I don't care if it's cold and wet, go and stand outside and "enjoy" your smoke.

Sorry you’re going through it too. It’s a really tough balance between wanting the best for your partner but not wanting to control their actions isn’t it.
I had it out with my husband, told him that I didn’t want him to be a smoker but that I was also really concerned about the lying. Told him I know it’s an addiction and if he means what he says about feeling disappointed in himself I wanted to support him in whatever way that looked like.
Another user above me explained it really well that vaping is different to smoking because of the extra dopamine hit (I guess from the pleasant taste? As smoking cigarettes wasn’t exactly what I’d call pleasant haha) so it can be harder to quit. I explained this to my husband and said if he was really struggling to stop, then he should either switch to a 0% vape to wean himself off the nicotine but still have the vape, or get a nicotine replacement but cut the vape altogether (so tackling one issue at a time) and whilst he’s going cold Turkey at the moment, he said knowing he has options and that I’m supportive is helpful

 

[littlepup]

I've been ill for the past couple of weeks and it's scaring me. I had a blood test about 2 months ago and nothing was wrong except low iron. Would long Covid show up on a blood test? I've been feeling increased tiredness since having Covid in January.

Right now I feel drugged more than tired - you know that feeling where your eyes are closing? I can sleep for 12+ hours and am still unable to function during the day. I'm dizzy and my legs feel shaky when I walk across the room. I haven't washed my hair for about 2 weeks! I can't cook anything. I feel out of it & have brain fog. Have also been feeling sick in the evenings for some reason. I thought it might be PMS but it seems a bit extreme for PMS. I have no other symptoms of a virus. I don't want to bother the GP again after nothing showed on the blood test, but I can't think what these symptoms might be?

As someone said above. Get a full test. Thyroid, anemia, b12, cortisol - the lot!

Have you lost weight?

 

[littlepup]

Could really do with some advice as I’m majorly overthinking!

Had an initial phone interview for a job on Friday. It was with the head of the company and he said he really liked the sound of my experience and wanted to invite me in to meet the team and have a further interview.

He said he’d ask another member of the team to get in touch and arrange this and it should be within 24 hours. Although this was Friday lunch time and they don’t work weekends.

It’s now Tuesday and I’ve not heard yet. I’m aware they’re probably super busy and it’s someone else in the team I’m supposed to be hearing from, so I don’t wanna seem clingy. But I’m paranoid they might have forgotten or not got my email right or something and I wanna show I’m keen.

So do you think it’s too soon to send a follow up email?

Send a follow up. It shows you’re keen which is never bad and that you do indeed follow up. It could even be a tactic.