The advice thread for random problems #2

[yeoooo]

I recommend the blink cameras - they have motion detection on and can record xx

 

[shadowcat5]

Lol thanks! It was definitely the food not him ha ha.. I can't believe such a strong smell was from chicken strips! I honestly thought it must be kebabs ha ha.
I didn't greet him when he arrived.. Because daughter wants me upstairs out the way.. I did say hello to him earlier though then we were both in the kitchen.
Iam feeling a bit shit tbh.. Wondering if iam going to face her wrath tomorrow when he leaves.


Yes she said it was me asking what they had ordered and saying it smelt bad. She says this was rude and embarrassing and I should be ashamed of myself.

I don't think that's rude sorry. It's just a comment. My mum would embarrass me far more than that. I assume it's your house?

 

[Rxt156]

The only solution to stopping your neighbours baby crying:
Move

 

[Pinklobster]

I have to ask you - which Collagen, and where did you buy it, please ? X

I just use the Absolute Collagen, little yellow sachets, I buy on Amazon, bit pricey but I can’t stop taking them now as love my skin and hair

 

[tomato_paste]

I think I might need to quit my job but I'm really really scared. My current boss is a bully, if he has you in his sights he is awful. But if you're not in his sights this is the best job I've ever had.

So I'm torn but I've had physical issues from all the stress plus depression, and it's really hard for me to decide what the right choice is atm.

 

[HoGi]

CAN I PICK YOUR BRAINS ON DIFFICULT LETTER AFTER DEATH OF BROTHER
My sister-in-law has upset every single member of the family. She has absolutely no sensitivity and is a grifter. We have only ever been able to speak to my lovely elderly brother through her. Get the picture! i'm sure every family has one. Think Megan M. and double that.
How to word an e-mail insisting that only blood relatives are involved at this stage and we do not want her involved in our business until further down the line. I want to do it nicely as my deceased brother was such a kind and peaceful person and would hate any animosity. Any ideas?

To echo @Purrrrrrr if she is his wife, then she has more authority than you do as sibling.

Under intestacy laws she is next of kin and you are behind her, then any kids he has, then his parents and then it comes to you.

I understand there may be tension there but she has lost her husband?? Cut her a bit of slack regardless of how much you may dislike her.

I think you need to back up and let her get on with things. Because as Purrrrrrr says she could easily completely cut you out.

ETA reading the other reply I think she is the wife of another brother who is still alive? In which case I would just politely tell her thanks but no thanks.

 

[bunnyboo]

I have a weird one for you guys. For the next few weeks, I'm based in the London office of the company I work for. I'm here with 2 of my other coworkers from home. There's this guy who's always making me feel uncomfortable. He constantly talks about Brexit, and how people are trying to sneak into the UK to find jobs. He even called me "one of them Europeans" and idk, it didn't sit right with me. I tried to brush it off, but he wouldn't stop. Then I asked him to stop and he called me a 'paddy' and told me I can't be that sensitive. I'm going back home to Dublin in 4 weeks and I can't wait to see the back of him!

Should I report him to HR? I can't say that's he's being racist as he's not really saying anything racist. I'm white & Irish and I never really considered myself to be a foreigner in the UK. It's a strange one.

Also, and this is more of a question that I'm just interested in hearing a British perspective on, do you consider Irish people to be foreigners in the UK? Or just people like you with a different accent?

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Thanks for the reply. I don’t have any chance with no medical support, the only charity was CAB, three month wait to be told no because my gp and social worker say I’m better and they won’t risk further bad publicity - the court for appeals is other end of county too. Theres no other welfare help, I’ve no money to join any kind of website for help or mind.

I can’t do it myself as my device is too old to be updated to link to any others e.g. I can’t print and my email no longer works. It’s over ten years old now. Not even the local council website works anymore which means Ive lost out on £200 towards cost of electric as it’s online only.

I’m sorry for complaining so much, I appreciate you listening to me.

What do you mean your councils website doesn’t work?!

There can’t just be 1 single doctor in your GP practise. That’s not feasible even in a remote rural area.

Have you been and spoken to the local benefits office?

 

[NordieGal]

What would you choose in this situation? I feel like I am going mad

I own my home, but have been given the opportunity to get 2 of the 3 things below for my house for free as part of a council warmer homes scheme. My partner is moving in with me in March and we intend to stay for a year or more, then look for something bigger together and rent my house out.

Solar Panels
Replacement back door (Mine is wooden and draughty)
Air source heat pump to replace boiler (would include new radiators)

My immediate yes item is the back door, from a heating and security point of view.


Air source heat pump thoughts
My radiators are old, and not very pretty as the paint has gone a bit funny on them so would be nice to replace for free
The only gas item in the house is the boiler, so if i get it i won't have any gas usage. (might reduce bills)
Tank looks a bit big, wouldn't be bad if they could put it somewhere like the loft, as its a small house
Having no boiler in my kitchen gives me a massive cupboard of extra storage
Is this a good or bad thing when you're potentially renting out or selling a house?

Solar panels thoughts
Cheaper leccy
Is this a good or bad thing when you're potentially renting out or selling a house?

Air source heat pump, 100%
In Ireland they're putting these in all new council houses and from what I can see (a lot of my clients have them), they're incredibly cost effective & you always have hot water etc.
As a homeowner, you might actually find it adds value to your property when the time comes for selling.
I'm actually jealous, I wish our council would offer this initiative to homeowners

 

[NordieGal]

thank you. I’ve not sat him down recently but have had to have chats with him about his drinking a few times before and he slows down/stops for a while but always picks it back up again.

He could well be depressed but the illness is almost certainly due to drinking/poor diet but he doesn’t want to admit that’s the cause.



thank you for sharing that, I hope you’re okay, that must have been really tough for You.

you put it perfectly - I love him but I do not like drunk him. Nothing attractive about a slurring glassy eyed husband at 8pm on a Tuesday.

The dr frequently asks about his drinking as I’m sure it’s the reason he’s ill. I asked him if he tells the dr how much he drinks and he said “not the truth, no one tells the truth”. He just thinks everyone drinks loads and lies about it?



thank you for sharing too, I really appreciate it. I’m terrible for not wanting and argument or confrontation but I think it’s time to really have it out. I can’t keep being the only sober one past 3pm on a weekend. Or not making plans because I know he will be annoyed if I ask him not to drink because I’m out etc.

I keep convincing myself that it isn’t that bad and it’s not harming anyone but him but each time I tell a new person about his drinking they look shocked and tell me it’s not normal. I’ve definitely been burying my head in the sand.



thank you. That’s fab about your mum and that it’s helped her so much. I think I’m going to speak to our gp as we are quite close and then speak to him and maybe suggest AA. I just can’t see how he doesn’t realise stopping has been a good thing for him even if he doesn’t think he feels “much better“.

The best of luck to you on this journey as such. I know it's cliché, but one day at a time really does help. Stay strong xx

 

[Snippysnips]

Thanks, am pretty sure it was only my emails I was signed into an I've changed the passwords for those, I don't think anything else was signed into, an it's good to know seasons expire so anything like that should be expired now, it's back at Currys as they tried as well an nothing was turning it on, unfortunately means am without anything for a while but wasn't paying £800 to be left with a faulty tablet when it's only 4 month old

 

[Rxt156]

Looking for advice on if you can report a scam in the workplace

My dad works in a carehome an does this "lottery" it's £10 a month an you only get it if your number is the bonus ball but only on specific Saturdays

His number actually come out last week but they told him that this month it needs to be the last Saturday of the month, in the 5 years he's worked there he's had it maybe a few times but they keep changing what Saturday in the month it's going be

I wish he would stop but unfortunately he's gets a bit talked into things an honestly I don't know if they are talking the elderly into this scam as well

Hate when people are being taken advantage of. Proper boils my piss! The best he can do is withdraw. Possibly raise with higher up managers owners as I bet whoever runs it will be raking it in ££££

 

[xbxbx]

Has anyone changed banks? How easy is it an can the new bank just automatically transfer what's paid/taken with your old one without there being a ton of paper work an phoning places to change etc

I've been with RBS all my life an recently they are really starting to piss me off, I downloaded the app to save having to log in the long way to check online, the app doesn't work so I deleted it an now I can't spend online because it wants me to approve in the app (that doesn't work) I've been in a few times an they are absolutely no help what's so ever, all am told is tHe ApP WoRks foR mE by them or am told to delete my card details an try again which I have done numerous times now, they aren't going to give a new card unless it's lost or stolen which they close the card off if that's the case an I'd rather still be able to use it till I got a new one (like when the cards expired you can use till the new one comes)

So my only option is to finally just say shove it to them an go elsewhere but am not sure if this will be more bother than what it would be if I just fought it out with RBS, basically I just want to know what battle is going be the less pain in the backside for me lol, fighting with them or changing banks

It’s very easy to change if you do it online through the switch service. I change banks quite often to take advantage of the sign up bonuses. For example last month I switched to Lloyds and got £150 and now I’m switching to Nationwide to get £200. I have a secondary current account that I switch though, I never switch my main account which my salary etc is paid into just because I do it so often. If you’re only looking to switch banks once though then it’s not a problem. Have a look at Money Saving Expert, they have all the info about switching banks. The majority of things should change to your new bank automatically but things like Netflix, which aren’t direct debits, you will need to manually change yourself. There’s also a lot of helpful info on the Reddit sub r/UKPersonalFinance about switching banks.

Best current accounts

Martin Lewis reveals how to compare and switch to the best current accounts that can save you £100s a year.

www.moneysavingexpert.com

 

[Blondeangel2515]

Nah, just block him on all social media and ask your friends to do the same. Very strange and clearly fucking with your head a bit

I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking it’s strange. I considered messaging his girlfriend to tell her but after the way she reacted when I told her he was cheating on her with me and a guy they worked with her I don’t think it’s worth letting her know about this.

***just so people are away me and him been speaking for years before they met and I only recently found out about her not long before I found her

 

[EasterEggs]

I didn’t realise they charged card management fees, that’s shocking! My aunty buys them for me and my brother every Christmas and it’s a nightmare to spend 🥲

 

[chapterthree]

Random but don’t know where to ask. What colour planner should I get? It is between the lavender or taupe. I am so torn, I like the clean girl aesthetic but worried taupe will show dirt too quick. I also like girly style so was thinking of lavender. I have no clue. Thanks in advance.

Filofax A5 Nofolk Leather Personal Organiser, Taupe

Buy Filofax A5 Nofolk Leather Personal Organiser from our Calendars & Diaries range at John Lewis & Partners. Free Delivery on orders over £50.

www.johnlewis.com

 

[rainbowlemon]

I would suggest you invest in an external hard drive and then you can download all your photos on there for extra peace of mind

Also print out your best photos! Make photobooks.

I used Inkifi, snapfish and Freeprints. With the last one you just have to pay for postage.

---

Thank you all for the kick to sort it, she went in for the guilt trip big time. Claiming she’s moved other clients to fit me in, not sure how she’s come to that because I don’t have a session booked as she was going to get back to me!
She then claimed she didn’t have the cash due to a massive tax bill, can’t be that hard off.

In the end she agreed to pay me back when she can so that’s something.

I guess it might be classed as gross misconduct as it’s fraud against the company technically.

Make you also get it in writing, s\too if you just spoke to her. Send her a text confirming everything in summary and hopefully she will acknowledge and confirm it.

I watched the movie "The Founder" about McDonald's start and just don't trust spoken word anymore.

 

[littlepup]

This one is a random one but I’ve tried everything my friends have suggested:
My hair is SO greasy. I assumed build up so used a remover and it left me with the most dry, itchy scalp but still super greasy hair! I’ve also tried enough shampoos to open my own review links. My scalp remains dry and itchy but my hair a greasy mess. Send help!

Have you tried the body shop ginger shampoo?

I find only shampooing once helps and obviously only applying conditioner to the very ends. Also really avoiding the hairline with and moisturisers/makeup as it migrates into the hair line even from a much as an inch away on me.

 

[Little Fluffy Clouds]

I just spent the past few days helping a relative fill in an appeal for PIP after it was originally rejected. Please appeal the decision. The DWP has admitted to falsely rejecting 80,000 people in 2022. The assessors themselves aren’t even medical doctors. If you appeal your case will be looked over by another independent person and another medical professional if it has to go to a tribunal. Personally I think they do it deliberately because it does take a lot of emotional energy to appeal and they’re hoping the majority of people will just give up.

Someone else here also pointed me to two facebook groups which were helpful. Can you contact your local Citizens advice? For help with the disability benefits? If you search on facebook the name of the benefit + support group you will find it. I believe you and that you’re not faking it. You’re entitled to support you deserve.

My sister’s building doesn’t even surprisingly have any bins outside. Just for recycling. We have just started going up the road to use the local bins on the high street. I would suggest contacting the landlord and asking for a bin for yourself. One which can be locked.

The hoarding isn’t your fault. I know it’s easy to be overwhelmed, but could you ask for help from family or friends?

I am also sorry to hear of the pain and challenges that you are experiencing.

As others have suggested, please do try to reach out to other services.

I have challenged a PIP appeal recently and I struggle to do on my own and am fairly isolated. A local charity referred me to welfare society, who come under the local council. Met a gentleman last Wednesday who spent time going over referral to tribunal. He will advocate for me if go to tribunal. Hope there is someone within your locality who can help.

Also, as mentioned previously, the DWP are going hardcore with refusals. There was a recent article, I will see if I can find it tomorrow, that states cases that go to tribunal, are being signed off with the same evidence that DWP had.

Sending you love, strength and positivity. It isn't fair but we do have the right to ask for help and hopefully we can all help you some. Sounds like the people/system are failing you.

Take care x

 

[Snippysnips]

I know that most don't ask but unfortunately if it's a young girl with a guy an they feel they all look young (even if they think they are 19/20), they may ask for it since warning bells might go off that there's a young girl with a guy an it's a hotel, I don't know if Premier Inn does it but some hotels round my bit go by the under 25 rule so anyone who looks under 25 need to provide ID an doesn't matter how you are dressed or how your behaviour is, I myself still get ID because of that rule an am definitely over that

If they have a back up plan if they are turned away then I'd say take the risk but only if they can get back home or somthing, if they are going end up being stranded then maybe best not to risk it, most girls are now being ID because so many look older than they are these days