Thanks, it's helpful to know the times from each airport into places, I could probably be quite flexible with times of flights an day's, am assuming Glasgow an Edinburgh are going fly into all of them so can look up those areas when I get a hotel booked to see what's going to be closest to them
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My husband and I have been together 12 years but I’ve started to realise I think he is a functioning alcoholic.
He works a very good job and goes in every day regardless. He doesn’t drink in the morning or anything. However he can drink 10 cans on a week night quite regularly. More on a weekend and he starts earlier on a weekend.
I don’t drink and never have. I completely believe people can enjoy alcohol but it isn’t for me. Plus we have a 4 year old so someone needs to be sober.
I rarely go out but twice I have come home to find he has had too much to drink and been the sole person responsible for our son. His argument is “he’s asleep it’s fine”.
im so bored and miserable. Once it gets past 8pm there’s no point talking to him or watching anything together as he won’t remember properly. I don’t want to have sex with a drunk man so we rarely do.
im lonely on an evening as he just sits and chain drinks cans of beer. My family don’t see it as such a problem and just laugh it off but I’m so lonely.
He has recently become ill and after denying it he has finally admitted he should probably stop drinking so much and is now in a terrible mood every day as he can’t drink and ends up going to bed at 7:30pm in a sulk. He has decided he doesn’t feel much better having stopped drinking so he’s going to start again, albeit have less.
Sorry I don’t know what I want from this I just needed to rant. Any advice?
He works a very good job and goes in every day regardless. He doesn’t drink in the morning or anything. However he can drink 10 cans on a week night quite regularly. More on a weekend and he starts earlier on a weekend.
I don’t drink and never have. I completely believe people can enjoy alcohol but it isn’t for me. Plus we have a 4 year old so someone needs to be sober.
I rarely go out but twice I have come home to find he has had too much to drink and been the sole person responsible for our son. His argument is “he’s asleep it’s fine”.
im so bored and miserable. Once it gets past 8pm there’s no point talking to him or watching anything together as he won’t remember properly. I don’t want to have sex with a drunk man so we rarely do.
im lonely on an evening as he just sits and chain drinks cans of beer. My family don’t see it as such a problem and just laugh it off but I’m so lonely.
He has recently become ill and after denying it he has finally admitted he should probably stop drinking so much and is now in a terrible mood every day as he can’t drink and ends up going to bed at 7:30pm in a sulk. He has decided he doesn’t feel much better having stopped drinking so he’s going to start again, albeit have less.
Sorry I don’t know what I want from this I just needed to rant. Any advice?
I’m sorry that you have to go through that. Have you ever sat him down to discuss how his drinking is making you feel and how it’s effecting your family life? You mentioned that he has recently become ill… Is there any possibility he could be depressed?
I'm sorry, I have been here still am a bit. My husband likes to sink a bottle or two of wine in a night and he does it alone as I do not really drink.
I got to the end of my teather and have made it clear to my husband what I expect of him and that if he cannot do that, it is over. I love him but I do not like drunk him. My husband had a very traumatic past and sadly its his way of coping. He is also depressed and sadly drinking makes it such a hard cycle to break.
You need to speak to him sober, make it clear to your family it is an issue regardless of their view. Sadly if he will not listen you cannot get someone to stop unless they want to. Will he speak to his doctor following his illness?
Ex-functioning alcoholic here. It’s a coping mechanism for something so behind the scenes, there’s something wrong. However you dress it up though, this lifestyle will hurt him badly and he needs help. Until he’s willing to accept that, you may as well talk to the bottle yourself. Speak to him with as much kindness as you can and say that you think he has a problem and you would like him to seek some help. You would like to support him in this. GP is good but he might prefer an anonymous support group miles away if he thinks people will know and judge him. If he refuses, give him some time to think on it. Ultimately though… I’m now you. I’m a mum, and I wouldn’t want to deal with me then, so if you have to issue the ultimatum you should, and stick to it. You’re not his mum too.
Some great advice here. I don't have the experience from a partner to partner perspective, but my mother is a recovering, functioning alcoholic who hit some real lows before admitting she needed help. She realised AA was the best place for her and the group support has been life changing for her. She still has days where she misses drink, but reminds herself of how far she's come and she doesn't want to fall back into the rut she was in for a long time.
I really hope you can have a good heart to heart with your partner and help him make some positive changes
I really hope you can have a good heart to heart with your partner and help him make some positive changes
thank you. I’ve not sat him down recently but have had to have chats with him about his drinking a few times before and he slows down/stops for a while but always picks it back up again.
He could well be depressed but the illness is almost certainly due to drinking/poor diet but he doesn’t want to admit that’s the cause.
thank you for sharing that, I hope you’re okay, that must have been really tough for You.
you put it perfectly - I love him but I do not like drunk him. Nothing attractive about a slurring glassy eyed husband at 8pm on a Tuesday.
The dr frequently asks about his drinking as I’m sure it’s the reason he’s ill. I asked him if he tells the dr how much he drinks and he said “not the truth, no one tells the truth”. He just thinks everyone drinks loads and lies about it?
thank you for sharing too, I really appreciate it. I’m terrible for not wanting and argument or confrontation but I think it’s time to really have it out. I can’t keep being the only sober one past 3pm on a weekend. Or not making plans because I know he will be annoyed if I ask him not to drink because I’m out etc.
I keep convincing myself that it isn’t that bad and it’s not harming anyone but him but each time I tell a new person about his drinking they look shocked and tell me it’s not normal. I’ve definitely been burying my head in the sand.
thank you. That’s fab about your mum and that it’s helped her so much. I think I’m going to speak to our gp as we are quite close and then speak to him and maybe suggest AA. I just can’t see how he doesn’t realise stopping has been a good thing for him even if he doesn’t think he feels “much better“.Some great advice here. I don't have the experience from a partner to partner perspective, but my mother is a recovering, functioning alcoholic who hit some real lows before admitting she needed help. She realised AA was the best place for her and the group support has been life changing for her. She still has days where she misses drink, but reminds herself of how far she's come and she doesn't want to fall back into the rut she was in for a long time.
I really hope you can have a good heart to heart with your partner and help him make some positive changes
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I’m not an expert so could be completely wrong but… I would think the reason he doesn’t feel much better is because the thing causing him to drink is still there if he drinks or not. If, in his mind, he’s blocking something or finding release by drinking, without it I can imagine he might even feel worse.
Even if he wasn’t drinking, the way you’ve explained he has dropped out of your life together isn’t really acceptable. I definitely think you need to address the problems and I hope the family realise this and support you too.
I agree. And also with anything like that, it can take time to actually see a difference in how you feel. At first people can feel worse because I guess, in the end it is an addiction, so there will be withdrawal symptoms. I know when I quit smoking weed I felt tit for a while until I felt better cause I was so used to smoking and without it felt annoyed, had a headache, couldn't sleep etc
The best of luck to you on this journey as such. I know it's cliché, but one day at a time really does help. Stay strong xx
After a bit advice and recommendations.
Has anyone tried to re-waterproof a coat? I've got one that used to be water resistant but it's been washed a few times and I get wet straight away. It's a insulated one with synthetic wadding.
Has anyone tried to re-waterproof a coat? I've got one that used to be water resistant but it's been washed a few times and I get wet straight away. It's a insulated one with synthetic wadding.
I don't think you can. These coats do normally say cold wash
Nikwax. Use it on horse turnout rugs to reproof them.
I've rewaterproofed a really nice fold-away rain jacket.
Well, I tried - the stuff had no effect.
I asked for recommendations in an outdoorsy shop and got what they recommended. Having just now dug out the can to tell you to avoid it (Isotex), I noticed that it says "step two" on the can, so I guess I missed a whole other can/ step. Annoying. My first instinct at the time was to see what Nikwax made and i think I'll give it another go with the recommendations here! Good luck!
Seasalt recommends the same brand for their Janelle coat
So I absolutely hate my job. I'm just bored and feel like there is nowhere to go in the job, despite me asking my manager for different things to do. I have been there a while now and just stuck in a rut!
I have wanted to do teaching since I was younger and even was going to study for this but changed by a levels to be with friends.
I have got a degree so could do a pgce but just scared!
help!
I have wanted to do teaching since I was younger and even was going to study for this but changed by a levels to be with friends.
I have got a degree so could do a pgce but just scared!
help!
There are lots of routes into teaching now, although it’s not what it was-
There’s a lot of paperwork and classroom management. You can get onto salaried courses and stuff though, my friend did it a few years back
For some reason, I can’t stop thinking about joining an online dating app. I’ve zero interest in dating as I’ve a lot going on, but something in me keeps telling me to set up an account.
I’m not interested in meeting anyone through an app to be fair, so I don’t know why I suddenly feel the urge to go on some app. It doesn’t help I keep seeing ads for this same app everywhere (buses, TV etc).
I’m 32 and perhaps I should think about widening my horizons to meet someone but to be fair, I’ve no interest. I’m conflicted. Besides, I’ve already been on apps (6 years ago or so), and it wasn’t great.
I’m not interested in meeting anyone through an app to be fair, so I don’t know why I suddenly feel the urge to go on some app. It doesn’t help I keep seeing ads for this same app everywhere (buses, TV etc).
I’m 32 and perhaps I should think about widening my horizons to meet someone but to be fair, I’ve no interest. I’m conflicted. Besides, I’ve already been on apps (6 years ago or so), and it wasn’t great.
Not quite sure why you would want to set up a account if you have no interest, tbh wouldn't you just be wasting whoevers time if they messaged you?
Not to be offensive but 32 seems to be a bit old to be messing with people, I can't see someone that age being particularly happy they are being messed with just because you want the app but dont care about dating if you are talking with them I'd think the majority that that's age that's on these apps are probably hoping to get serious
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