Support for anyone that needs to vent

[chorizorice]

My ex really broke me and our relationship was toxic. Towards the end which was last year, he was drinking everyday and blacking out. He would wake me up by screaming at me, pinching me and slapping me in the mornings still drunk. I left his place (we were quarantining together) when he got fucked at a work friends house and I took away his car keys/wouldn’t let him drive drunk. He screamed at me in front of his work friend and his flatmates that he hated me, that I was scum and he ‘disowned’ me. I gathered as much as I could of my stuff from his house went back to my mums house. It got worse at the end versus the whole relationship, but he was always a big drinker and had cheated on me with an under age girl at the start of our relationship.
Fast forward to now, almost a year and a half since we broke up. I’m in a lovely relationship where I’m taken care of properly and truly feel safe. I am so happy with my relationship.
Yet I’m sat in the middle of the night feeling like I’ve been shot in the chest, and I get waves of thinking about if I run into him somewhere, thinking about him makes me physically feel ill. I’ve been in therapy for 6 months and I feel like the more time passes in my healthy relationship the more I’m deeping how I was treated. It makes me feel physically ill & I feel traumatised

 

[TheTinyHuman]

I'm moving my whole life to a new city 500 km away and I'm so stressed and anxious about it all. I've had trouble with the van, and I worry about not finding a new circle of friends there and also losing the friends I have here. The anxiety is very real.

 

[cornflower]

Honestly sick of feeling worthless, really thought I'd have sorted myself out by my 30s but I still feel like I did when I was a teenager, withdrawing myself from people because I'm convinced they put up with me out of the goodness of their hearts/because they have to rather than because anyone actually likes me. I feel like a dark storm cloud over people's heads. I can't talk to anyone about it because the level of reassurance I want isn't something another human being can provide, and I just come away feeling worse. I'm sorry for writing this in a thread for people who have ACTUAL problems, I sound like a child, I just need to get it out somewhere

Sending love to everyone struggling, for what it's worth

 

[miamae]

Hi all, a little bit of a pointless rant here, but does anybody else really struggle working full time with young kids? I’m a FE teacher and have an hour travelling in and hour travelling back so Mon-Fri I leave the house at 7:30 and don’t get back in till 6. I am absolutely knackered, my house is a mess and I feel so guilty as I’m not there to pick or drop my kids off (my partner does it) and I really miss my youngest as he’s only 18 months. I really feel like I underestimated how hard working full time would really be

 

[macaroon]

I'm not feeling well mentally. I'm supposed to work on my thesis but have no will to do it, everytime I try to work on the project there is a problem or a bug and I want to give up. My tutors aren't reliable and they don't care if I spend years on it. I didn't choose correctly, but it's too late to change topic or tutors now. I don't know if I will be able to graduate when I wanted to. I already lost a year. I accepted my first real job even if it's not exactly what I want to do in life, but I didn't want to lose an opportunity. I have to start in a few days, but I'm afraid I won't have the time to do the thesis and won't graduate this year and it's making me break down every night mostly because I wasted the past few months .
I'm disappointing everyone, expecially my mom, she expected me to graduate last year (2020).
On top of that I live far away from home, my boyfriend is moving away in a few days from where I am due to his studies, soI have to move to a shared appartment with other people.
I wish I could go back in time of a couple of years and be out of this town by now.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I'm not feeling well mentally. I'm supposed to work on my thesis but have no will to do it, everytime I try to work on the project there is a problem or a bug. My tutors aren't reliable and they don't care if I spend years on it. I didn't choose correctly, but it's too late to change topic or tutors now, I don't know if I will be able to graduate when I wanted to. I already lost a year. I accepted my first real job even if it's not exactly what I want to do in life, but I didn't want to lose an opportunity. I have to start in a few days, but I'm afraid I won't have the time to do the thesis and won't graduate this year and it's making me break down every night mostly because I wasted the past few months .
I'm disappointing everyone, expecially my mom, she expected me to graduate last year (2020).
On top of that I live far away from home and my boyfriend is moving away from where I am in a few days due to his studies, and I have to move to a shared appartment with other people.
I wish I could go back in time of a couple of years.

Stop.
You are not disappointing anyone.
you’ve just got too much going on.
the world is not going to fall off its axis if you don’t graduate this year - or at all. It’s not the end of the world. Talk to your Mum, explain exactly how you feel and ask for her support. Work out what you actually want - not what you think you are obligated to do but what do you actually want to do? If this new job isn’t what you want then don’t take it - look for something else. If you can’t get to grips with what you are studying then step back and decide if you want to do it at all?

this is all fixable stuff. Step back - take a break, breathe, and talk to your Mum.

 

[Penguin86]

I just want to scream

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

Honestly sick of feeling worthless, really thought I'd have sorted myself out by my 30s but I still feel like I did when I was a teenager, withdrawing myself from people because I'm convinced they put up with me out of the goodness of their hearts/because they have to rather than because anyone actually likes me. I feel like a dark storm cloud over people's heads. I can't talk to anyone about it because the level of reassurance I want isn't something another human being can provide, and I just come away feeling worse. I'm sorry for writing this in a thread for people who have ACTUAL problems, I sound like a child, I just need to get it out somewhere

Sending love to everyone struggling, for what it's worth

You don't sound like a child. I'm sure the people in your life love and value you. I know withdrawal is the easiest way but try to move forward from the point you withdrew, one step at a time.
It is hard but you'll get there.

Hi all, a little bit of a pointless rant here, but does anybody else really struggle working full time with young kids? I’m a FE teacher and have an hour travelling in and hour travelling back so Mon-Fri I leave the house at 7:30 and don’t get back in till 6. I am absolutely knackered, my house is a mess and I feel so guilty as I’m not there to pick or drop my kids off (my partner does it) and I really miss my youngest as he’s only 18 months. I really feel like I underestimated how hard working full time would really be

I started working full time earlier this year. The guilt is horrendous and I never feel on top of things. There have been many moments where I've questioned what on earth I'm doing but a) financially, we as a family need for me to work and b) I really love my job.
I did underestimate how hard it would be though.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

bleeping hermes are shite!! Tried to deliver my parcel but failed. No idea how that happened because there is vans outside my work that have the company name all over them. Fuming. I’m sat in the office. Tried to call hermes, useless automated machine on the other end.
The photo they took looks like grey tracksuit bottoms.

 

[Sheabutter]

Having a rough one. I’ve spent the entire day cleaning a bug infestation. I doubt I got everything. Every time I turn around there’s another one. They can live on fabrics which has me panicking. I took a break from cleaning to reply to my mom. She had texted me. Apparently, my grandfather said something to her about her relationship with me and it got to her. I spared her feelings because she was fragile. There’s no space to talk about how I really feel. I’m getting better at tuning out my feelings though. So that’s nice.

ETA:
The first review on Amazon is my heart This bug issue is a war
Amazon product

Off to search for a cheaper trap now.

 

[TheGlossy]

I think I'm fed up with life in general at this point. Just when I think things are finally "getting better" and I'm rediscovering a sense of happiness after the last blow, the Universe sends another blow my way.

In 2019, it was the happiest I had ever been in a while (despite the fact I hated my job). I started feeling comfortable and confident with myself and experienced true happiness. Then, I hit a wall and had issues with my toxic family that threw me into a depression for a couple months. I had cut off my family and was in touch with one sibling only until the rest of my family decided to involve her into their scheming and our relationship fell apart. She and I haven't spoken since. It literally killed me.

Then, COVID happened and I was slowly trying to get back on track. I moved into what I thought was a better job then and got my own apartment. I started feeling good about a month ago or so thinking I was starting to put the pieces together. I almost got back to the energy level I had experienced in 2019 (pre-family debacle). Then, I hit another wall. It seems as though the Universe senses when I'm feeling a bit of happiness and makes it its mission to shatter every bit of it. I started getting issues at work due to an unfair audit and was humiliated in a team call on Thursday where my manager made a negative example out of me without discussing with me first beforehand. She completely blindsided me and it shattered me entirely. Over the last 7 years of career, I've always been regarded as a top performer and managers would always sing my praises. Now, I'm an negative of poor work suddenly? I joined this company a year ago thinking I was going to progress my career, but all I've dealt with is rudeness, isolation and now this public humiliation based on an audit that turn out to be deficient (so the humiliation was uncalled for).

At this point, I don't know what to do with life anymore. If the Universe can't let me be happy for even a couple of weeks before throwing negative things my way, then I don't know what's the purpose of being alive anymore. It's as though the Universe's mission is to make me as miserable as possible or be afraid of happiness. It's bizarre. My anxiety levels have now increased and I'm anxious at the idea of going to work tomorrow. I now have to start my job search again because no way I'm staying in this environment. Is it too much to ask to have one year where only positive things happen? I can't deal anymore. I haven't been on a date in 5 years, I have no family around me, I barely have any close friends - I at least expected the Universe to bless me with a good career / unproblematic job and now it's also attacking it too. Is God's intention to leave me family-less, friendless and jobless? I honestly give up. I really cannot catch a break.

 

[Sheabutter]

I think I'm fed up with life in general at this point. Just when I think things are finally "getting better" and I'm rediscovering a sense of happiness after the last blow, the Universe sends another blow my way.

In 2019, it was the happiest I had ever been in a while (despite the fact I hated my job). I started feeling comfortable and confident with myself and experienced true happiness. Then, I hit a wall and had issues with my toxic family that threw me into a depression for a couple months. I had cut off my family and was in touch with one sibling only until the rest of my family decided to involve her into their scheming and our relationship fell apart. She and I haven't spoken since. It literally killed me.

Then, COVID happened and I was slowly trying to get back on track. I moved into what I thought was a better job then and got my own apartment. I started feeling good about a month ago or so thinking I was starting to put the pieces together. I almost got back to the energy level I had experienced in 2019 (pre-family debacle). Then, I hit another wall. It seems as though the Universe senses when I'm feeling a bit of happiness and makes it its mission to shatter every bit of it. I started getting issues at work due to an unfair audit and was humiliated in a team call on Thursday where my manager made a negative example out of me without discussing with me first beforehand. She completely blindsided me and it shattered me entirely. Over the last 7 years of career, I've always been regarded as a top performer and managers would always sing my praises. Now, I'm an negative of poor work suddenly? I joined this company a year ago thinking I was going to progress my career, but all I've dealt with is rudeness, isolation and now this public humiliation based on an audit that turn out to be deficient (so the humiliation was uncalled for).

At this point, I don't know what to do with life anymore. If the Universe can't let me be happy for even a couple of weeks before throwing negative things my way, then I don't know what's the purpose of being alive anymore. It's as though the Universe's mission is to make me as miserable as possible or be afraid of happiness. It's bizarre. My anxiety levels have now increased and I'm anxious at the idea of going to work tomorrow. I now have to start my job search again because no way I'm staying in this environment. Is it too much to ask to have one year where only positive things happen? I can't deal anymore. I haven't been on a date in 5 years, I have no family around me, I barely have any close friends - I at least expected the Universe to bless me with a good career / unproblematic job and now it's also attacking it too. Is God's intention to leave me family-less, friendless and jobless? I honestly give up. I really cannot catch a break.

If the past year has taught me anything, the universe just has a bad sense of humor. Don’t give up yet girl

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Another petty vent about the inlaws. This happened a couple of wkends ago.

I booked a week away with my husband for his birthday to give us a break. I rented a house on a river that’s pet friendly so we can even take the dogs.

My husband was fishing with his dad when I phoned to tell him.
Anyway when he got home I could tell something was wrong.
When he had got of the phone with me he was really chuffed and turned to his dad saying “she’s booked us a week away….”

He didn’t think anything of it but later his dad phoned his mum and went “she’s booked us all a week away…” Like WTF!!!!

And now my husband doesn’t have the balls to tell them they’re not invited. That it’s just for the two of us. And we can’t even get out of saying there isn’t enough space because I had texted him the link and he’d shown his dad the property which is really big

I love his family but even he will admit they are too much. Especially for a whole week, with the dogs!!!!

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Another petty vent about the inlaws. This happened a couple of wkends ago.

I booked a week away with my husband for his birthday to give us a break. I rented a house on a river that’s pet friendly so we can even take the dogs.

My husband was fishing with his dad when I phoned to tell him.
Anyway when he got home I could tell something was wrong.
When he had got of the phone with me he was really chuffed and turned to his dad saying “she’s booked us a week away….”

He didn’t think anything of it but later his dad phoned his mum and went “she’s booked us all a week away…” Like WTF!!!!

And now my husband doesn’t have the balls to tell them they’re not invited. That it’s just for the two of us. And we can’t even get out of saying there isn’t enough space because I had texted him the link and he’d shown his dad the property which is really big

I love his family but even he will admit they are too much. Especially for a whole week, with the dogs!!!!

Your husband just needs to call his Dad and explain the mix up - no big deal. Literally just “there’s been a bit of confusion, she booked it as a romantic weekend away! Sorry about that!” And just make a joke about it. You absolutely do not have to just go along with it now as a big family thing and it’s very easy to get it sorted.

 

[April89]

I work in a bitchy toxic environment, and yesterday I saw how bad it is - one of my colleagues is timing another colleagues toilet breaks and is going to 'tell the manager'.

She knows her shifts etc and was adding it all up yesterday to explain why it's wrong.

Really makes me worried to leave the room I feel like she is watching and ready to go telling tales.

 

[Mr Daydream]

one of my colleagues is timing another colleagues toilet breaks and is going to 'tell the manager'.

She knows her shifts etc and was adding it all up yesterday to explain why it's wrong.

Imagine being this type of person though they must lead a very sad life, absolute loser.

also if I was a manager and someone came to me with this I would be like why the duck are you timing people going to the toilet instead of working??? Cretin

 

[Kim Mild]

I work in a bitchy toxic environment, and yesterday I saw how bad it is - one of my colleagues is timing another colleagues toilet breaks and is going to 'tell the manager'.

She knows her shifts etc and was adding it all up yesterday to explain why it's wrong.

Really makes me worried to leave the room I feel like she is watching and ready to go telling tales.

Remind her that nobody likes a grass.

 

[Cloak]

I found a job at my DREAM company and applied last week.

Last night I got an email from a director there, which was forwarding on a message she sent LAST WEEK — before I applied — telling me about the role. This message had ended up in my junk.

I was ecstatic as she had headhunted me and was following up to see if I'd be open to a chat. Serendipity or what!

Anyway, I spent about 5 hours doing my research, checking out the structure of the company, looking at their user base, writing my questions down and studying the job description with a fine-tooth comb.

First question of the interview is, "So tell me about your experience in the French and German markets?"

LITERALLY NOWHERE ON THE JD, or my CV, does it say ANYTHING about French/German market experience.

It was basically a lost cause after that, it was like they hadn't even read my CV. I think they were using an automated system to mass email tons of people so in fact I wasn't headhunted at all. That would explain why the email went to my junk though.

What a waste of everyones' time

 

[yogiessexdubs]

I work in a bitchy toxic environment, and yesterday I saw how bad it is - one of my colleagues is timing another colleagues toilet breaks and is going to 'tell the manager'.

She knows her shifts etc and was adding it all up yesterday to explain why it's wrong.

Really makes me worried to leave the room I feel like she is watching and ready to go telling tales.

I'm also in a similar environment x

I found a job at my DREAM company and applied last week.

Last night I got an email from a director there, which was forwarding on a message she sent LAST WEEK — before I applied — telling me about the role. This message had ended up in my junk.

I was ecstatic as she had headhunted me and was following up to see if I'd be open to a chat. Serendipity or what!

Anyway, I spent about 5 hours doing my research, checking out the structure of the company, looking at their user base, writing my questions down and studying the job description with a fine-tooth comb.

First question of the interview is, "So tell me about your experience in the French and German markets?"

LITERALLY NOWHERE ON THE JD, or my CV, does it say ANYTHING about French/German market experience.

It was basically a lost cause after that, it was like they hadn't even read my CV. I think they were using an automated system to mass email tons of people so in fact I wasn't headhunted at all. That would explain why the email went to my junk though.

What a waste of everyones' time

If I have learnt anything in life it is that there are no dream jobs. Honestly, I've had some 'dream jobs' and they all honestly end up as an experience. They are still very much a 'job' & it's like, ugh! .. something better will come your way & onto a new chapter.

 

[miamae]

I work in a bitchy toxic environment, and yesterday I saw how bad it is - one of my colleagues is timing another colleagues toilet breaks and is going to 'tell the manager'.

She knows her shifts etc and was adding it all up yesterday to explain why it's wrong.

Really makes me worried to leave the room I feel like she is watching and ready to go telling tales.

I could have written this!! My friend and I work in the same office and she’s been leaving early as her mum has Cancer so she is taking her to appts, etc. It had been cleared by management and didn’t want anyone else to know. Anyway, last week two of the oldest workers there marched up to our manager and demanded to know why my friend was leaving early and preceded to present my manager with the timings of her leaving for the week!! Unbelievable. Edit to add that me and my friend are only 23, and these women are 50+.