Support for anyone that needs to vent

[Funkzilla89]

I'm absolutely drained I feel like I'm just going through the motions of life. I'm working most days and it's all a blur. Worked extra days/hours as a lot of the staff were out due to testing positive for covid working again all weekend , all I want to do is sleep and not wake up. I'm not suicidal or anything, it's just I don't want to wake up. Sorry for being deep but just had to type it out. It makes me feel a bit better

 

[jawidjanqndn]

i’m honestly just so tired of having no friends. i feel so alone and it’s a horrible feeling. i’m constantly suffering in silence because i genuinely have no one to speak to. i don’t know how much longer i can wait to meet some friends.

i also feel so lost in life career wise. i feel like i have no plan and i’m just not going anywhere. it’s so shit.

 

[watermelon sugar]

I've been really unwell this weekend and had to go to hospital. I spoke to one of my friends in detail about it. She responded with "you've bought this on yourself because you allow yourself to get stressed out all the time". Deep down I know she probably meant it as in a sort of "you need to look after yourself" kind of way, but the way it came across is that it's my fault, like I wanted this to happen

It's not your fault at all. She probably worded it really shit. Some people think the tough love approach is the right way to go around things but it isn't all the time. It's never anyone's fault their ill. It's normal to be stressed. I hope you get better soon

 

[Rodneytrotter]

Hugely long and complicated story……

Basically five weeks ago, my Dad tried to commit suicide after a significant bout of depression.

Having previous experiences of depression myself, I feel for him - but I was 36 weeks pregnant at the time and felt pretty hurt (perhaps selfishly) by it all and didn’t feel like I could rush to his side.

My older brother instead took control for the first couple of days. He decided that my mum shouldn’t be at home when my dad came home from hospital (he took an overdose of her insulin), packed her car up with most of her belongings and sent her to my house.

She’s been living with us ever since.

She’s taken over my house, has assumed a motherly role of my 2 year old (even describing herself as ‘mummy’ to him) and has basically left me feeling like a prisoner in my own home.
I’d saved up to take a few weeks off before our baby arrived but I’ve had little chance to do the relaxing that I’d planned for and have spent much of it acting as a counsellor to her and being a go between with her and my dad. This will be our last baby, so I’ll never have the chance to do this again.

She eats us out of house and home and puts the washer on three half loads per day. All my stuff is in boxes as I’ve had to clear out our spare room for her and she’s incapable of doing even the slightest things (such as going to the shop) herself. It’s got to the point where I don’t want to even look at her, where I’m angry with my dad for his actions and I’m furious with my brother for just making it my problem and getting on with his life (I’ve asked him for help and I’ve got none).

I’m now overdue and I’m waiting to be induced. I have absolutely zero oxytocin as I’m so stressed out so I know I have no chance of having this baby without assistance.

I know I need to support my mum and be there for her, but I feel like I’ve been taken for granted and not one person has considered the effect that having a literal shadow following my every move is having on me.


I’ve finally lost my shit and asked her to leave this evening and now I feel like a total arsehole. I’m literally devastated that I’ve been put in this position.

You are not an arse hole. You should never have been put in this position by the people who should love you the most. Sorry im not very good with words this evening but didn't want to read and run xx

 

[milkywaymelon]

I saw the title of this thread and after being sat staring at my four walls for the past hour thought it might be a good place to get some words of support… I’ve typed it all out and maybe I just needed to share it as no one knows and it feels like a huge weight I’m carrying

So after a tough lockdown last year I discovered my boyfriend (35 years old !) of 2 years at the time (November) had been sexting other girls, liking their photos, messaging them flirty messages etc. We talked, I forgave him.

Since then I’ve had minimal effort from him, he’s always on his phone etc. Two weeks ago
I discovered he’s been flirting again on his Instagram DM,s and sending the fire emoji out to girls he follows… (younger, pretty, “Instagram” type girls - big lips etc). Im hidden from any social media so he probably appears single to them.

ive not confronted him this time as Im done with being disrespected. Ive been saving up for a house deposit since it happened the first time as I live With him (his house) and I knew i needed a backup should it happen again. Ive seen a property and I’m one step away from a mortgage offer, ive done this all on my own! It should be such a proud, exciting moment but I feel very guilty doing this behind his back but for once I need to look out for me.

it’s very hard being here in the interim, knowing the house ive seen isn’t ready until October, biting my tongue when he is cocky or rude to me. I know I won’t / can’t stick it out with a brave face until then and ultimately need to find something temporary.

I shouldn’t be so nice and consider his feelings (it’s just who I am!) but i Don’t feel fair on him being here when I could just let him move on. Feel like I’m using him a bit… guess that’s where I have a conscious and he doesn’t.

Dragging this weight around for the past week or
So has been hard, on top of the initial dishonestly last year. Feeling very unmotivated to exercise and enjoy life with my mind on overdrive, getting little sleep or inner peace.

I believe we’re all a path and it’ll work out one way or another, just hard sometimes when your in the situation.

I want to say good on you girl!! Don't feel guilty because he clearly isn't thinking about your feelings at the minute. You should see if there are any friends or family you could stay with temporarily until your own house will be ready. I've been there with the secret DM's and I stuck around for far too long. Don't make the mistake I did!!

 

[Rainbow sprinkles]

I'm sat in bed reading all of your replies and crying. I'd lost a lot of faith in people but the kindness and words of support and encouragement from complete strangers, I cant even put in to words. Thank you for listening to me when I thought I had noone

 

[StrawberryCream]

I'm really upset

It is hard making friends as an adult but I thought I made a good group of friends at work. We got each other through lockdown and became close, and we have been meeting up monthly for drinks and a catch up.

I found out there is a meet up on Friday but this is the first I've heard of it, none of my friends mentioned it to me.

Massive FOMO and I feel a bit embarrassed to bring it up with them if they don't want me there

If there is one person in the work group you feel closest to I would bring it up, not in a pissed off way but just mention it. Possibly one of the group was supposed to mention it to you and forgot and the rest assume you know?

 

[he eldndnoe]

What a bollicks. Do you have family you could visit for a couple of days? Don't tell him where you're going x

Ive been at my mum and dads all day bless them they’re the best. Not sure what I would do without them to be honest!! X

 

[WilmaHun]

I feel bad even moaning about him because he's so good for me in so many ways, but my partner absolutely infuriates me at times. He can be so lazy and although he says he doesn't expect me to clear up after him, I'm a really tidy person so I hate living in mess. It's just silly things like if he eats a bag of crisps or has a can of drink, the wrappers will stay where he consumed them until I take them to the bin. Dirty washing chucked on the floor. Really silly trivial things but no matter how much I mention it, it never changes. I work full time and I'm doing a degree outside of work so help round the house wouldn't go amiss. I mentioned it to his Mum but she's still wipe his arse for him if she could so she was all "well what do you expect? You knew I did everything for him when he was at home so he's never had to learn".

It's just stressing me out feeling like I have the whole weight of work, study and running the house all to myself. Even if he just once offered to do the food shop it would help.

 

[miamae]

Hi everyone, hope you’re all ok. I am fed up of my selfish and lazy ‘partner’ if you can even call him that We have two children, 6 and 1 and we’ve been drifting ever since my youngest was born. He goes to the gym every single day bar Sunday, goes out to play football all day Saturday (leaves at 12 doesn’t get back till 8) and football practice all evening on a Thursday. He’s been acting more and more shifty lately, when we go to bed he hides his phone in the pillowcase and whenever he shows me something on his phone you can see him itching to get it back … so I’m pretty sure he’s cheating. He basically refuses to put our youngest to bed and bailed on me at the weekend after we’d made plans to go and see the lads at the pub. I’m 23, he’s 30 and I’m at my wits end and very ready to ask him to leave I work full time and have a demanding job and never get a break, to be a man, hey?!

 

[livingforthetea]

Really struggling right now with anxiety about my child growing up in a world where humans seem to be regressing and care more about money / social media than anything else. Having read a story about a 12 year old girl who committed suicide after pupil on pupil sexual abuse, only for her grave to have now been trashed and smeared with dog faeces, it makes me despair. I live in a town where county lines are targeting young children and often see pre-teens riding round starting fights and dealing drugs. I am so terrified for my 9 year old going to secondary school. She has mild cerebral palsy and anxiety. I’ve recently got her into therapy with a private counsellor as she has compulsions to say sorry constantly and generally worries about so much (she isn’t ‘neurotypical’ and has had these issues since she was young)

I just cannot shut off to this fear I have about her potentially being bullied, getting mixed up in the wrong crowd, being exposed to social media etc. I know I’m probably being irrational but when I was in school, if you were a target of bullies you could go home and it would be a sanctuary. Now with social media, there is no relief for children. Children are becoming preoccupied with ‘likes’ and are consumed with how they look. I realise I’m just rambling but how do you not become consumed with fear about your children growing up with so much awful stuff happening in the world? I try my absolute best to hide it from her and think of the positives but I live with this constant feeling of pure fear for her future.

 

[miamae]

i’m not even a mum (infact very far from being one) and you absolutely should ask about it! i would definitely want to be informed about something like this

I have just sent an email asking for clarification of what actually happened, why they didn’t inform us and if they’ve done any kind of risk assessment to stop this from happening again. School is supposed to be a safe space so it is a really big worry! Thank you for your reply x

 

[isabellalovescats]

I just am gonna give up on friends or relationships tbh. No one reciprocates. I always have to plan things, reach out actively just to have some company. I’m sick and tired of people.

 

[Icbaaaa]

Hugely long and complicated story……

Basically five weeks ago, my Dad tried to commit suicide after a significant bout of depression.

Having previous experiences of depression myself, I feel for him - but I was 36 weeks pregnant at the time and felt pretty hurt (perhaps selfishly) by it all and didn’t feel like I could rush to his side.

My older brother instead took control for the first couple of days. He decided that my mum shouldn’t be at home when my dad came home from hospital (he took an overdose of her insulin), packed her car up with most of her belongings and sent her to my house.

She’s been living with us ever since.

She’s taken over my house, has assumed a motherly role of my 2 year old (even describing herself as ‘mummy’ to him) and has basically left me feeling like a prisoner in my own home.
I’d saved up to take a few weeks off before our baby arrived but I’ve had little chance to do the relaxing that I’d planned for and have spent much of it acting as a counsellor to her and being a go between with her and my dad. This will be our last baby, so I’ll never have the chance to do this again.

She eats us out of house and home and puts the washer on three half loads per day. All my stuff is in boxes as I’ve had to clear out our spare room for her and she’s incapable of doing even the slightest things (such as going to the shop) herself. It’s got to the point where I don’t want to even look at her, where I’m angry with my dad for his actions and I’m furious with my brother for just making it my problem and getting on with his life (I’ve asked him for help and I’ve got none).

I’m now overdue and I’m waiting to be induced. I have absolutely zero oxytocin as I’m so stressed out so I know I have no chance of having this baby without assistance.

I know I need to support my mum and be there for her, but I feel like I’ve been taken for granted and not one person has considered the effect that having a literal shadow following my every move is having on me.


I’ve finally lost my shit and asked her to leave this evening and now I feel like a total arsehole. I’m literally devastated that I’ve been put in this position.

You're not an arsehole at all! It sounds like it's been a really stressful past few weeks and so unfair everything's falling back on you especially being heavily pregnant. You really need to put yourself first and as selfish as it sounds, try block out all that's going on around you. The last thing you need is to be induced feeling so stressed and have no energy left. You've done your part, now it's time for your other family members to step in and help out. Take care of yourself

 

[Bogwoppit]

So this is a pathetic problem, my kids are on holiday with their dad next week, I’m home alone which is nice but I have no plans, no friends available for a chat or to go out with, I thought of just going out for a meal on my own but then I look like a loser, I’m actually dreading it.

 

[Pixipoppy]

So I hate arranging stuff especially for my birthday because I really don’t like people feeling obligated to come BUT what’s pissed me off so much is I decided maybe this year I’d sort something for a few of us - organised getting tickets, gave everyone plenty of warning and nudges about it. Now 1 week before the event one of my (what I considered closest) friends has “realised” they already had something else booked that night. So because I’m a bit of a psychopath I checked out the event on Facebook and can see tickets for it only went on sale last week! So there’s absolutely no way she had these tickets before she agreed to come to my thing. Do I say anything? I hate to get snarky with people but I feel like this is a proper dick move considering the event was for my birthday and she’d already agreed to come? I’m justified being angry aren’t I? This is why I never fucking bother people are so predictable

 

[Pixipoppy]

This isn’t even a vent I just have no one to talk to seriously about this stuff. I’m not growing up properly, the thought of settling down getting married … Ive completely reconciled the fact that I won’t have kids…. But even just the thought of getting older… makes me so sad. Is it possible to have a mid life crisis before you’ve even actually established a life. Its like I’ve skipped ahead and I’ve already gone off the rails I’m not happy whatever the fuck this is.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Hmmm maybe he is a troll ( or it's not the same person) then because he normally bemoans the fact he can't get a GF, then he found a GF in uni. He hates his brother and his GF.

Maybe not the same person. The one I know used to go by the name of Sam, Sam the football. .. he was on many forums and was very draining.

He was posting on tattle a few months ago claiming he was an autistic woman who was being help captive by her parents/not allowed out of the house/not allowed to attend medical appointments etc…. But was rumbled because he was obviously allowed free reign to use the Internet (hence posting on tattle!) and then when you looked at his posting history it was all posts on the football/Manson mount threads talking about being a gay guy on grinder etc etc etc and being out on holiday in bars watching football etc

If people believe this person is a troll why not just ignore and report? Surely you’re feeding their ego by wasting time going back and forth with them?

He’s been reported numerous times.

 

[WeepingCassandra]

Changed my username as it was a UN that I used a few years ago around the internet and I didn't want anyone to go deep and discover me. I had an issue with work and the internet a few months ago about something I posted on social media. Basically I posted something related to my profession, a bit tongue in cheek, dry humour, but overall completely harmless and someone - who on investigation isn't even from the same country as me, and has likely never come anywhere near where I work - found out my name, job site and position and reported it to our PALS department as a GDPR issue. Cue every manager and his dog telling me how disappointed they were and how I was lucky not to get struck off. I don't want to stay in this job for more than a couple of years, so now finding something else is going to be hard as they've put a written warning on my file (which basically says they have no evidence of any wrong doing but they do have this anonymous complaint that they can't verify and that's enough to ruin my employability in my field for years).

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I’d ring 111.
It’s a disgrace that GP practices are still locked down, I can only imagine the amount of people sitting at home with worrying symptoms because they can’t get near their doctor.

Ours is an online triage form.