So sorry to hear this. More heartache from the pandemic. Sending loveNot a vent really, just feeling really sad and angry. A close family member of mine found out they had cancer around the height of the pandemic. Because of the lockdowns and delays in treatment, it had then spread to other parts of their body. After waiting this past week to hear what happens next and them being hospitalised for being very poorly, we’ve just found out they’ve now been given weeks, maybe days, to live. I’ve cried so much the last couple of days that I don’t have anything left in me. My whole family are devastated by this. It’s just so cruel
I just needed somewhere to put this.
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I just wanted to say I’m sorry and to you send you lots of love and strengthNot a vent really, just feeling really sad and angry. A close family member of mine found out they had cancer around the height of the pandemic. Because of the lockdowns and delays in treatment, it had then spread to other parts of their body. After waiting this past week to hear what happens next and them being hospitalised for being very poorly, we’ve just found out they’ve now been given weeks, maybe days, to live. I’ve cried so much the last couple of days that I don’t have anything left in me. My whole family are devastated by this. It’s just so cruel
I just needed somewhere to put this.
Thank you both for taking the time to reply.
We’re not the first family to feel the true cost of the pandemic and I dare say we won’t be the last. It’s just awful, feel so helpless.
We’re not the first family to feel the true cost of the pandemic and I dare say we won’t be the last. It’s just awful, feel so helpless.
I totally agree. It will be seen for many, many years to come. Feeling helpless is an understandable way for you to feel right now. Go easy on yourself and enjoy the time you have left the with them, as best you canThank you both for taking the time to reply.
We’re not the first family to feel the true cost of the pandemic and I dare say we won’t be the last. It’s just awful, feel so helpless.
I don’t know if I should feel angry or sad or simply not surprised.
I spoke about how my family treated me as their personal secretary after my dad died dumping all the administrative and legal burden on me. I helped them out financially and paid some procedures which all amounted to 2.5K.
All throughout this period, not one sibling (3 above 20 years old) lifted a finger to help out whether financially or else. Every time they received a letter or a request, they forwarded to me asking me to handle.
Nail in the coffin was when I flew to meet with the notary to get paperwork done and they brought my narcissistic mother along without telling me. I had mentioned before we were estranged for 6 years because of her ways and she was forced back into my life when my dad died. Every day she had a different demand when I allowed her back in. It culminated in front of the notary’s office when she ambushed me when I exited the office. She didn’t even ask how my flight was or that it was nice to see me - she just asked “what about my money” and started an argument. I walked away and left her standing because I had enough. I had just written off more money to benefit her and she dared speaking to me like that.
Fast forward, after that incident which my siblings witnessed, not one of them reached out to ask how I was doing. A month later, they reach out to saying “here’s what we received through the post, please handle”. They completely disregarded what happened at the notary’s and didn’t even ask how I was doing. I did not respond.
They sent me an email last week asking me how I’m doing. I responded politely saying “thanks, doing well, busy. Hope all is well with you too” and was met with a no response which makes me guess they wanted something from me and stopped in their tracks when I said I’m busy.
Fast forward, today is my birthday and not one of them wished me a happy birthday. After all I’ve done for them for almost a year, getting them out of a pickle financially, ensuring they kept a roof over their heads despite the fact they’re all grown adults and can handle all of this. I even sent them gifts to celebrate certain holidays to ease the pain of my dad’s absence. I almost had a mental breakdown because of all the stress they and my narcissistic mother inflicted on me with their problems and that’s how they thank me? After all I’ve done for me, a birthday greeting gesture is the least they could do. This is a disgrace.
From today on, these selfish people are out of sight out of mind.
I spoke about how my family treated me as their personal secretary after my dad died dumping all the administrative and legal burden on me. I helped them out financially and paid some procedures which all amounted to 2.5K.
All throughout this period, not one sibling (3 above 20 years old) lifted a finger to help out whether financially or else. Every time they received a letter or a request, they forwarded to me asking me to handle.
Nail in the coffin was when I flew to meet with the notary to get paperwork done and they brought my narcissistic mother along without telling me. I had mentioned before we were estranged for 6 years because of her ways and she was forced back into my life when my dad died. Every day she had a different demand when I allowed her back in. It culminated in front of the notary’s office when she ambushed me when I exited the office. She didn’t even ask how my flight was or that it was nice to see me - she just asked “what about my money” and started an argument. I walked away and left her standing because I had enough. I had just written off more money to benefit her and she dared speaking to me like that.
Fast forward, after that incident which my siblings witnessed, not one of them reached out to ask how I was doing. A month later, they reach out to saying “here’s what we received through the post, please handle”. They completely disregarded what happened at the notary’s and didn’t even ask how I was doing. I did not respond.
They sent me an email last week asking me how I’m doing. I responded politely saying “thanks, doing well, busy. Hope all is well with you too” and was met with a no response which makes me guess they wanted something from me and stopped in their tracks when I said I’m busy.
Fast forward, today is my birthday and not one of them wished me a happy birthday. After all I’ve done for them for almost a year, getting them out of a pickle financially, ensuring they kept a roof over their heads despite the fact they’re all grown adults and can handle all of this. I even sent them gifts to celebrate certain holidays to ease the pain of my dad’s absence. I almost had a mental breakdown because of all the stress they and my narcissistic mother inflicted on me with their problems and that’s how they thank me? After all I’ve done for me, a birthday greeting gesture is the least they could do. This is a disgrace.
From today on, these selfish people are out of sight out of mind.
happy birthday! The best present you can get yourself is putting yourself first and cutting toxic people out of your life. I’m so sorry that you have had to go through this, but I wish you only positivity and light from here on out.
Happy birthday @TheGlossy Sorry to hear your family's behaviour still continues. I feel the best birthday you can grant yourself is stepping away and letting them get on with their own lives while you grow and flourish in your life.
Families can be such a disappointment when you expect a certain type of treatment or behaviour. I fear you'd keep bashing your head against a brick wall if you're expecting any different.
Enjoy the rest of your birthday
Its probably easy for me to say this, but maybe it is time to cut them out of your life for good. They behave as if you have no feelings, you are better of without them.
I’m so sorry to hear thisNot a vent really, just feeling really sad and angry. A close family member of mine found out they had cancer around the height of the pandemic. Because of the lockdowns and delays in treatment, it had then spread to other parts of their body. After waiting this past week to hear what happens next and them being hospitalised for being very poorly, we’ve just found out they’ve now been given weeks, maybe days, to live. I’ve cried so much the last couple of days that I don’t have anything left in me. My whole family are devastated by this. It’s just so cruel
I just needed somewhere to put this.
Happy belated birthday!
Cut them out, you're doing way too much and their actions ahve shown they do not care at all. Wishing someone happy birthday, let alone a family member, takes no effort at all. They've shown who they are.
Thank you everyone for the kind support It really means a lot!
I’m really struggling today because they chose to disregard my birthday and ignore me like this right after I’d reached a long-standing professional goal of mine and now I can’t even be happy about it or focus on it. I just feel dead inside.
This happens every single time I reach a milestone in my life. It’s like they sense it from afar.
It really means a lot!I’m really struggling today because they chose to disregard my birthday and ignore me like this right after I’d reached a long-standing professional goal of mine and now I can’t even be happy about it or focus on it. I just feel dead inside.
This happens every single time I reach a milestone in my life. It’s like they sense it from afar.
Happy belated birthday @TheGlossy I often see your posts and really am rooting for you. I hope things get better for you soon.
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I needed somewhere to dump this... I feel alone and sad every day and I can't seem to stop crying because I feel pathetic for the way I feel. I feel like I am not good enough for my friends or family and every time I reach out to friends they will either reply back a few times and then ignore me or my messages get ignored for months. I just do not feel very good and I hate my sad existence of a life where I am always fighting with my phyiscal and mental health each day.
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I needed somewhere to dump this... I feel alone and sad every day and I can't seem to stop crying because I feel pathetic for the way I feel. I feel like I am not good enough for my friends or family and every time I reach out to friends they will either reply back a few times and then ignore me or my messages get ignored for months. I just do not feel very good and I hate my sad existence of a life where I am always fighting with my phyiscal and mental health each day.
It's time to reach out to some professionals. Make an appointment with your gp or nurse practitioner and let it out.
They may initially offer antidepressants or mood stabilisers but that's OK. If your serotonin isn't working properly this will help. Hopefully they will also refer to secondary support. Glad you have written this down. It's the first step towards the support you need right now.
It's times like this when we realise that we do not need the validations of others to celebrate our own achievements.Thank you everyone for the kind support
I’m really struggling today because they chose to disregard my birthday and ignore me like this right after I’d reached a long-standing professional goal of mine and now I can’t even be happy about it or focus on it. I just feel dead inside.
This happens every single time I reach a milestone in my life. It’s like they sense it from afar.
Be proud of your professional goal. You did it. You achieved that. You worked for that. You should be immensely proud of yourself. If I was your mum I would tell you I was so proud of you.
You have achieved this despite having no emotional support so that in itself is something else to be proud of.
I agree with @Ticketyboots. @Hope96, please speak to a professional. I was seeing one myself for the last couple of months and it helped tremendously. Speaking to a neutral professional is truly beneficial and you will experience a positive shift in your mindset.
I’m sure you do not have a sad existence. Whatever it is you are going through, it shall pass. Everything is seasonal, nothing is permanent.
I’m rooting for you
I’m sure you do not have a sad existence. Whatever it is you are going through, it shall pass. Everything is seasonal, nothing is permanent.
I’m rooting for you
My teenager is being a nightmare at school. I’ve had two phone calls today about her and I’ve had enough.
Horrible situation. What were the calls regarding?
I started college a few months ago and I'm really not coping.
I feel like my mental health has really been affected. I can't cope. I can't focus or concentrate. I can't retain information. I'm struggling with the workload. I'm constantly restless. My lecturers don't really give any support as 'it's HND, you can't expect us to give you the answers' as they say,that's if you get a reply. Class is constantly cancelled or cut short. Not due to strike action, which I would understand but no reason is given.
I find I really struggle with the lack of structure. I find I thrive with a lot of structure. I am struggling to identify any careers that I could potentially do. I've worked in customer services for 6 years but I don't want to be stuck in minimum wage all my life.
I feel like i will be severely affected by my earning potential by not having a degree. I am very very money motivated. I don't have any passions, nor am I good at anything.
I don't really have any skills. I'm just a bit obsessed with money, perhaps unhealthily so.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know if I should just stop being so weak and just power through my studies. This isn't the first time I have struggled with my studies. I went to uni 4 years ago but my mental health took a downturn too. I lost a lot of weight in a very short-time, ended up very underweight and had to drop out for the sake of my health. I've noticed that this is happening again. Not to the extent of last time but still.
I know that if I do drop out my parents will go ape. It will cause a huge blowup. They will be very angry and disappointed in me. I feel like I'm so weak and such a failure.
I feel like my mental health has really been affected. I can't cope. I can't focus or concentrate. I can't retain information. I'm struggling with the workload. I'm constantly restless. My lecturers don't really give any support as 'it's HND, you can't expect us to give you the answers' as they say,that's if you get a reply. Class is constantly cancelled or cut short. Not due to strike action, which I would understand but no reason is given.
I find I really struggle with the lack of structure. I find I thrive with a lot of structure. I am struggling to identify any careers that I could potentially do. I've worked in customer services for 6 years but I don't want to be stuck in minimum wage all my life.
I feel like i will be severely affected by my earning potential by not having a degree. I am very very money motivated. I don't have any passions, nor am I good at anything.
I don't really have any skills. I'm just a bit obsessed with money, perhaps unhealthily so.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know if I should just stop being so weak and just power through my studies. This isn't the first time I have struggled with my studies. I went to uni 4 years ago but my mental health took a downturn too. I lost a lot of weight in a very short-time, ended up very underweight and had to drop out for the sake of my health. I've noticed that this is happening again. Not to the extent of last time but still.
I know that if I do drop out my parents will go ape. It will cause a huge blowup. They will be very angry and disappointed in me. I feel like I'm so weak and such a failure.
Have you ever considered joining the military? If you enjoy structure I think you would get on there. You can also get a degree through them, all paid for. And once you’ve worked the minimum term you can leave.
I have a few friends who joined up and they all loved it
I've got a history of mental health issues so I'd be barred from entry
I don’t have any practical advice, but just to say I’m sending love and strength. Mental health issues are the worst and I feel you. Please don’t think you’re a failure or weak. Are you able to talk to your parents about what you’re going through? At least if they has context as to why you might drop out/take a break, they’d hopefully be more understanding?
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